Landslide (31 page)

“I love it when you get all hateful like that…call me a fag now. Please?” Payton retorts and then turns to me once more to explain, “I just came out so I’m kind of excited about it. I get to use all the terms without looking like a bigot. It’s like a signing bonus for finally suiting up and batting for the right team after pitching to the wrong side your whole life.”

“Way to ruin baseball for me this year…” Ryan intones with a disgruntled shake of his head. Then he crumples the empty pack of cigarettes in one hand before tossing it back down onto the table while glaring at Cole in irritation.

Sean is shaking his head too when he questions the table in general… “Seriously, how am I supposed to coach my kid’s little league team after that?”

“Oh my God…I can’t take you anywhere,” Cole mutters and hands Payton the half-full cocktail, “Here, drink up so we can go home.”

“Well, aren’t you the Debbie Downer tonight,” Payton mumbles into his drink and if I wasn’t paying attention, I would’ve missed it when his head barely cocks to the side in my direction when he continues by saying, “I was kind of hoping we could maybe stay a little longer now. I mean you drank almost the whole thing so you kind of owe me.”

“He’s right, Cole, you guys should stay and have another drink or several…” Jerry wheedles, shyly smiling at me at the same time.

Cole looks at me and then at all his friends and sighs. “Not tonight, guys, I had a long day and I’m beat.”

“You can’t bail on a friend you haven’t seen in seven years just because you’re
tired.
Only buzz-kills let being tired get in the way of having a good time and making new memories with old friends. Right, Erica?” Ryan scolds and flashes me some kind of smile that I think is meant to be encouraging, like I’m supposed to get in on the goading or something.

But, uh…watching Cole arch his back like he might be in some amount of pain, however slight, I’m thinking I’m not about to guilt him into hanging out when he clearly doesn’t want to be here anymore, despite the fact that this is the most fun I’ve had in almost a year, and regardless of whether I’m starting to feel like God might’ve just given me the gift of reuniting me with the one person capable of making me feel like even though I’m lost to my grandma now, there’s still someone alive who knows me; the one person who tonight has reminded me that I didn’t truly lose anything important in a fire, because memories don’t burn no matter how hot or destructive the flames are.

Cole sighs again and twirling his keys around his finger, it looks as if he’s weighing the decision of giving in to the peer pressure, although he subconsciously shifts and stretches his back again, so I decide to make it known to him who’s side I’m on.

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that. I’m no one to talk now, but in
my
experience, some of my most enjoyable and memorable times spent with him was when he was uh…more or less asleep.”

His eyes meet mine for a split second before he looks down to hide the subtle, yet knowing quirk of his lips, telling me he heard my meaning loud and clear when his friends obviously didn’t, which is evidenced by some minor laughter at Cole’s expense.

“Oh my God, that’s hilarious…
she
even thinks you’re capable of having more fun asleep than when you’re awake,” Ryan openly states, bringing to light his inability to read between the lines, in this instance at least.
 

Cole cocks his head to the side a little and shrugs. “Well, she would know…since she’s quite able to speak from firsthand experience and all.”
 

I’ve been so focused on Cole that when I happen to glance at Payton chewing on the pointy end of his cocktail umbrella, I notice that he’s eyeing Cole in a sort of protective or maybe a carefully possessive manner. It makes me wonder if, although he practically emanates open confidence in himself and his relationship with Cole, maybe they aren’t as solid as he would wish them to be. Like, maybe Payton is one of those insecure people who, out of jealousy, try to change themselves or the other person in an attempt to fix something that wasn’t broken to begin with.

Suddenly however, for the first time in my life this little green monster of my own makes itself known. I mean, although I don’t know him hardly at all, I like Payton—a lot actually—but I was in Cole’s life first and even hinting at wanting either of us to pretend like we don’t have a long and even intimate history would fly in the face of accepting who Cole is, and Cole himself used the logic of explaining that it never does anyone any favors when someone pretends to be someone they’re not.

When Payton leans down and whispers in Cole’s ear, though, and follows up his secret communication with a soft smile and wink for me, I’m not sure how to view either of them anymore. Especially when Cole’s response is to get kind of irritated with Payton and at the same time, beckon for my phone while reporting, “We’re gonna get outta here, sugar. It’s nothing personal…it’s just if I get any more tired, I won’t be safe to drive. Twinkle Toes is afraid I’ll forget to exchange contact information though, so before he orders a ninth umbrella or says something to ruin another sport for everyone, gimme your phone and I’ll give you my number so we can catch up another time if you want.”

“Seriously? It’s not even ten-thirty and you’re gonna go home and go to bed? How are we friends? You’re no fun at all. Erica, forget this guy…we don’t need him, right? Stay and hang out with us,” Sean pouts, but in his disgruntled dismissal of Cole, he reminds me of the time and the main reason I ever wandered into this watering hole in the first place.

“Oh, okay, hold on, I need to make a call first,” I tell Cole, pulling out my phone and ignoring the invitation to stay and get drunk with three men who are still virtual strangers to me and who I’m actually starting to think all might be the owners of the eyes that were touching my butt from afar a short time ago.

I’m not sure how to feel about that to be honest, and yes, the thought of asking Cole to help me did cross my mind. I think it might be awkward though to ask for a favor after only five minutes of conversation following a seven-year moratorium on our friendship. Plus, he’s just made it abundantly clear that all he wants to do is go home and go to bed. And not that I
really
think any of his friends have died once, let alone fifteen times, but…you never know. Additionally, I really don’t think I want to become indebted to anyone whose wife isn’t present to give her consent for her husband to do
any
kind of favor for another woman. In my opinion, that’s just asking for trouble and all manner of drama. However, it does give me an idea…

“Hey, lemme ask you guys something…what would it take to get you to leave your house and maybe your bed if you’re asleep to come to a bar on a night like this for a woman you’ve never met?”

“Sexual favors,” Ryan answers without any hesitation whatsoever and then looks wide-eyed at everyone at the table staring at him, “What? I’m being totally honest. I don’t care if it’s the real Jennifer Aniston, her doppelgänger, or an overweight chick with a witchy wart on her nose. If I’m asleep already and some woman I’ve never even met wants me to leave my warm bed, risk my neck driving through that shitty slush out there and possibly over some black ice, just to meet her at a bar at ten-thirty at night, I better at least be getting a blow job by midnight.”

Jerry shrugs his shoulders and starts nodding. “Yeah, I guess when you put it like that. Anything Marcy could possibly want me to do that requires getting out of bed deserves a blow job.”

“I’m gonna side with the guys on this one. I think I’d take a blow job too…I’d just close my eyes and think of Mark Wahlberg.”

“So, the consensus is essentially unanimous, then. Nothing short of a blow job?” I joke, and lightheartedly going along with the initial misunderstanding of my question, I give the idea a mock look of consideration.

Sean clucks his tongue and shakes his head though. “You know, I’m gonna be the nay-sayer here. I really think it depends on how good the woman is at ‘em and whether she could offer me a personal reference or some sort of money-back guarantee.”

My eyes automatically flash to Cole’s face even though I told them to look anywhere but at him. I’m not sure if I’m relieved or if I should be concerned about my skills again, in that his eyes studiously ignore me by staring down at the overflowing ashtray on the table, which I’m assuming means that if I
were
to ever need a reference, he, very sadly, wouldn’t be my best bet.
 

Well, there you have it. You turned the greatest kisser known to womankind gay with a single bad hummer. You should apologize to every woman you meet from now until the end of time for causing him to take his lips away from every person with a vagina.

Noticing that every one of these guys aside from Cole has an expectant look on their face, though, like they’re honestly waiting for me to defend my skills or give them a resumé of some kind, I feel I must clarify why I even asked, because all of a sudden, I’m starting to feel like I should take responsibility for Cole’s sexuality and make Payton thank me, and I mean seriously, all I wanted to do was pee and get someone to fix my car for me, not run into my supposed to be dead best friend and wind up feeling like I belong in an asylum or a remedial sex ed. class.

“Well, just so we’re clear, I was actually talking about how much
money
I might be charged by a mechanic or tow-truck…”

“Eh, money-schmoney. I’d still want a blow job,” Ryan laughs.

“I’d still ask for references. I mean, I love my wife and she’s really super at a lot of stuff, but…I wouldn’t even get outta bed to kill a daddy longlegs if the reward was one of her blow jobs.”
 

Well, that wasn’t at all awkward to hear…

With my finger hovering over the call button, my eyes shift around the table to everyone else’s, because I’m not quite sure how to respond, and I notice that pretty much all the guys are nodding in general agreement again. Realizing now that this might be par for the course with these guys, I begin to relax once more and hit the call button.
 

By this time, though, Cole has gone from ignoring me to chuckling and shaking his head at me. “In the future, beautiful, never ask.”

“Little late on the advice, there, buddy,” I mumble and then hold a finger up when the line starts ringing. I also take a few steps away so I don’t have to try to hear over the guys continuing to discuss what sexual acts time and a half and double time are equivalent to.

However, when the ringing stops and all I hear is gut busting laughter, my gaze flies from my phone to hit Cole and the inordinately amused and rather cocky expression he’s wearing as he waves his phone in the air a little before putting it to his ear.

“I’m pretty exhausted, so…you’re gonna have to make me a
really
good offer. I think I’m safe in letting you slide on the references though.”

29

“I Love You For Sentimental Reasons”

—Erica—

“Oh,
nu-uh
! You have
got
to be kidding me!” I stalk over and hit Cole in the arm as he and his dumb friends get a good belly laugh at my expense. Beginning to laugh at myself too, though, with the fact that
he
is apparently my knight in shining tow truck; because really, I shouldn’t be surprised…he always was. Although with accepting that for the truth it is, another fact dawns on me and I can’t help but blurting out, “We’re supposed to be even!
Remember
?”

“Oh, believe me, I remember, but we weren’t even. I mean you didn’t exactly leave me a receipt, however I seem to recall thinking I owed you some change,” he informs me with a devastating grin to go along with some quick eyebrow waggling.

My eyebrows shoot into my hairline all on their own and feeling like my eyeballs are bulging from their sockets, they dart from face to face to see how his boyfriend and all his friends are handling what wasn’t even close to being an innuendo, but rather a bold, in your face declaration. It could be said that most of the guys probably look like me right now, with their mouths kind of hanging slack, except for Sean who mutters something like, “She should get that in writing,” and I’m stunned to see Payton nodding in what looks like quietly proud approval. I mean, Jesus Christ, how the hell am I supposed to respond to any of this? I cannot figure Cole out to save my life it seems, although now I’m feeling some major relief that I didn’t actually suck the first—er…well, yeah.
 

Then, of course, the numerous smart-assery comments and questions start. But Cole, God love him, simply lifts his eyebrows innocently and putting his hand in the small of my back, encouraging me to lead the way, he smiles and shuts them down, utterly and completely. “G’night, guys…”

“Your ass is so getting reamed for all of that…” Payton chuckles as the three of us move far enough away so that the whining and taunting is hardly audible over the other patrons’ conversations and the jukebox that’s playing an old Willie Nelson song.

“Yeah, I know. Ryan was foaming at the mouth there at the end though, and that alone makes whatever’s coming worth it. Which reminds me…” Instead of heading towards the exit, Cole turns the opposite direction and tilts his head as an indication to follow him. And I do, but when he stops in front of the cigarette machine,
I’m
the one who starts pouting and, frothing—just a little.

“Don’t waste your mon…ey,” I start, although all Cole does is smooth his hand over the top of the machine until he feels some nonexistent energy or something in a certain spot, and then he slams his fist down on it. My mouth falls open when out pops not one, but three packs of cigarettes. “What the hell?!”

First bending to retrieve my cigarettes and some other poor sucker’s, he then stands to hand one pack to me with a wink, but my goose bumps and further issue of being at a loss for words are the product of the deeply seductive octave his voice dips into when it speaks an inherently unabashed statement. “Sometimes, sugar, a little foreplay is all it takes.”

“Foreplay.”