Landslide (53 page)

Then one day, she ate some herself. I never laughed so hard as when she spun around and spit it out in the sink. She even used paper towels to scrape the rest off her tongue. My grandpa was sitting at the table and without even looking up from his newspaper, he said, “Yep. Sounds about right.” My grandma’s face lit with the most incandescent light though when she watched him, still reading his paper, take another bite out of the half-eaten slice on the plate next to him, chew it, and swallow, all without a single disagreeable look or word. It wasn’t that he had to like it…it was just that he loved her so much and appreciated all her efforts that went into being his wife, and eating nasty tasting fruit bread was just one of the best ways he could prove it.

Cole chews once or twice slowly, stops, looks around at nothing in consideration, chews again, and swallows, his eyes falling on the pan in his hand. “Oh my God, this is fucking
delicious
.” He breaks another chunk off and shoves it in his mouth without any hesitation. I go to tear off a piece for myself, but he yanks it away and raises the tin above his head, protesting with his mouth full. “Mm-mm…whoa. What do you think you’re doing?”

“I wanna try it!” I wrap my hands around his bent elbow, the blanket falling away, and I try pulling his arm down. He just lifts his arm higher and ends up pulling me off the ground.

“This is mine. That old woman made it for me, God love her ancient heart. Go find your own cherry almond loaf.”

Dangling for a second, I give him a pouty look and let go. He chuckles as I wrap the blanket around me again and then pulls me to him with one arm for a quick kiss with cherry almond loaf crumbs on his lips. “Here,” he says and puts a piece of the bread in my mouth for me, “Fantastic, isn’t it?”

My eyes grow round as I chew. “Oh my God…you weren’t kidding. I need this recipe.”

“I need to kiss Old Mrs. Hinkle.”

With another bite in my mouth, I put my puckered lips on his as he bends his head, and I murmur through chewing, “Mm-mm.” I swallow the scrumptiousness in time to receive another kiss. “You can hug her.”

We end up eating the entire loaf of bread and because I can’t stand it when Cole tilts the tin up and tries shaking all the crumbs into his mouth, I grab his phone from the counter and snap a quick, full-length picture, capturing the bare chest, Christmas tree kilt, slippers, and all. Then he starts posing. It’s hilarious. I get probably six good shots of him in various adoring poses with the empty tin before he tosses it in the trashcan and we head downstairs.

Hand in hand, we walk into his bedroom, halting along side his bed and turning to face each other. Leaning down to kiss me, he stops just shy. I pull back to see him work his tongue over his front teeth and then stick his finger in his mouth to pick in between them. “Piece of almond I think. I gotta brush my teeth.”
 

I giggle and follow him into the bathroom, hopping up to sit on the counter next to the sink. He brushes, rinses, and then contemplates me.

“You’re waiting for my toothbrush, aren’t you?” I nod. “Sugar…” he says, heaving a sigh and holding it out for me. I take it and after spreading some more toothpaste on it, I stick it in my mouth, putting one hand on his waist when he moves to stand in front of me, nudging my knees apart and placing both his hands on the top of my butt. “You know what, never mind. Brush.”

Done, I lean over and spit, handing him the toothbrush back and accepting the glass of water he immediately replaces it with. “Maybe I should have my own toothbrush here.”

He waits for me to swish the water around my mouth. “Do you
want
your own toothbrush here?”

“Well, do
you
want me to have one?” I ask, using the back of my hand to wipe the thin string of spittle from my chin.

Cole leans forward, kisses my nose, and then pulls me closer by my hips as he stands straight again, studying my face momentarily. “Let’s put it this way…what would you say if I asked you to marry me right this minute?”

I don’t feel alarm or the urge to run screaming. I
do
feel surprise take over my features and excited butterflies take up residence in my stomach, tickling me without mercy from the inside with their giddy wing flapping, though. “Are y—are you proposing?”

He grins. “No.” The deafening sound of my heart beating in my ears gradually decreases. “But I do wanna marry you.”

A smile spreading across my face, I bring my lips to his, and just before we kiss, I tell him, “Then I’d say we should definitely get me my own toothbrush.”

43

“Stolen Dance”

—Cole—

Inspired, and wondering if Tiffany & Co. has rush shipping, I begin genuinely plotting out a proposal as I carry Erica to my bed.
My
bed. This is gonna be the best night ever… She’s going on and on about the last twenty-four hours being completely surreal and I’m envisioning a modestly sized emerald cut diamond—maybe one, one and a half carats—surrounded by bead-set diamonds that extend down onto a platinum band encircling a brand new toothbrush in the holder on my sink. Not that I’ve been ring shopping recently.
 

Dude. Who are you trying to lie to? That was one of the first things you did when you got home from taking her to her place that first night. And Payton caught you. If you’ll recall, he and I both gave you the thumbs up on the two rings you had in your online shopping bag. Although I really do like the emerald cut over the princess cut. Nice choice.

Thanks.

No problem.

Turning to sit on the edge of the bed with her legs still around me, I try to push engagement rings aside so I can focus more on what she’s saying, and maybe, I don’t know…participate in the conversation. “I mean, I deflowered you tonight, Cole.”
 

“Yes, you most certainly did.” And very well at that.

I lie back and stretch out. Erica follows me, her knees on either side of my waist and her breasts just grazing my chest as she leans forward, resting her forearms on my abdomen and gazing down on me. My hands slide to hers; with a mind of their own, our fingers intertwine, and I pull her arms up over my head so that her body can melt into mine; so that my heart can feel hers beating when I kiss her.

“I still can’t believe you…well, I can’t believe that was your first time.”

Releasing her hands, mine run down her back. “I still can’t believe you can’t say virgin.”

She scoffs. “I can say it! Just…” she pauses to kiss me back, “not in a context revolving around you. Sounds wrong. Like it’s a lie or something.”

“Hmm…” I think about what almost came out of my mouth, kiss her once deeply; her body moving sensually on top of mine has me disregarding my objections, and knowing I can probably get away with it, I decide to just say it anyway. “You know…I’m feelin’ a little flowery again all of a sudden. Think maybe some petals are growing back.”

“Mmm…” She runs a trail from my earlobe down my neck with her lips. “Because I love you, I’m not gonna subtract points for the pure cheese that just came from your mouth.”

I can’t help it, I start laughing.
 

“That’s the reason, isn’t it? Bad lines are why you were a virgin for so long.”

“It wasn’t
that
bad.”

“Really awful, babe.” She kisses me. “Just terrible.” When she pulls back, I’m drawn in watching the titillating way her body moves as she leans over towards one of my nightstands, looking as if she’s about to open the drawer. Then she does.

“Sweetheart, what are you looking for?”

“Condoms,” she casually answers over her shoulder, schooching up and over a little further so she can see better, coincidentally placing one of her breasts right in front of my face. I can’t ignore it… “Really,
really
awful but, I told you I wasn’t subtracting points. However, we are
not
having sex again condom free. It was incredible but it wasn’t okay. I do
not
wanna be a mom.”

Outwardly, I chuckle at her, but inside, the sound of a pin dropping is heard and the subsequent sting of it landing and pricking my heart is felt. Her declaration also forces me to grudgingly stop one hand from traveling any further over her ass, and I entirely remove the other along with my mouth from her breast, bringing both hands safely behind my head—that I forcibly turn to the side. All so that I won’t be tempted more so or get either of us needlessly worked up. “Not gonna find any in there.”

“Oh. Other nightstand?”

“Nope.”

Noticing the lack of touching, she meets my eyes over her shoulder. I raise my brows and grin with my mouth closed, waiting for her to put it together.

“You gonna make me go on a scavenger hunt or…were you not serious about wanting to be pruned back again?” I wince. “Yeah, I just heard it. All I can picture in my head now though is an overgrown rose bush that looks like your penis.”

“That’s not okay, Erica.”

“It really isn’t. Did we kill the mood?” She pushes herself up so that she’s straddling me with her hands barely resting on my lower abdomen, her index finger absentmindedly finding its way into my bellybutton, making my stomach muscles flicker and twitch with the tickling sensation. “The mood is dead, isn’t it?”

I honestly don’t think it’s possible to kill the mood when she’s sitting naked on me, but, I sure as shit wish there was a way to. “Not really.”

“Oh, well, where are the condoms then? ‘Cause I’m up if you still are.” My eyes close, I bite my lip, and inhale a huge breath through my nose as she shifts slightly against my kilt, that for some reason only known to God, I’m still wearing. “And you definitely are.”

I blow out my breath. “Yeah. Problem is,” I lift her up and slide out from under her, “I don’t have any condoms.”

“You’ve gotta be joking.”

“Nope.”

I push to my feet and walk straight to the sliding glass door in my room, open it, and not even bothering to put my slippers on, I step out onto the small deck, sinking into the snow up to the middle of my calves, utilizing frostbite as a means of bringing myself down. It doesn’t work as well as one might think. Once I
am
finally able to climb in bed next to the naked love of my life without losing my damned mind, I remember the kilt and pull it off, tossing it to the foot of the bed and rolling onto my side to face Erica. She’s been respectfully subdued throughout my dejected struggle to get myself into a state of being that won’t again result in the possibility of putting a baby in her. Even though I couldn’t care less if I did. Actually, I take that back. I want to. Like, I
really
want to. Just, not without her consent. I can only hope that she realizes the idea of her
not
being a mom is inane.

And yeah, we could do other fun naked-time stuff; however, it’s not the same. It’s not what either of us wants to do right now. We want to make love to each other again, and while it would feel fantastic, an oral substitution is going to fall short at this point. But hey, at least we’re on the same page for once.

“Cole?” She snuggles closer, my hand habitually moving to comb through her hair.

“Hmm?”

“How in the world do you not have condoms?”

I feel my lips stretch into a small smile. “I told you last night, I hardly ever even dated, and up until a couple hours ago, I was a delicate flower.” I wink at her while she tries to stifle a laugh. “Meaning, why keep ‘em on hand when I had no use for ‘em.”

“Okay, well…you gotta explain all this to me. Like, I don’t wanna beat a dead horse here or anything, but I don’t get it. How were you a virgin this whole time? I mean, you were always very attractive and you’re sincerely gorgeous now, you were cocky and
the
biggest flirt ever, and everyone always said you were a player.”

I rock my head from side to side on the pillow, considering. “Well, I kinda was. I just, never closed a game.”

“Why not? Were you saving yourself for marriage or something?”

I lift my left hand and sarcastically take note of my bare fingers. “Obviously not. But…I don’t know, maybe I was subconsciously. Not for marriage I mean. Just…in general. It was a conscious decision, though, to not have sex.”

“So, you purposely didn’t have sex, yet you weren’t waiting for anything in particular?”

“Yes and no.” I heave out a breath and try to figure out a way to best explain it. “Alright see, it was like this…you know how my mom didn’t want me and basically abandoned me with my dad, who I grew up thinking didn’t want me either, right?” Her face fills with sorrow and she nods. “Okay, well…I decided way before I was even interested in sex that I wasn’t gonna risk creating a life with someone who I wasn’t absolutely certain would be there for that life. I didn’t want to be my dad…or have any child of mine feel unwanted the way I did. And once I finally got interested, I knew I wasn’t in a position financially or maturity-wise to be a parent yet. So, I just didn’t have sex. It was the lesser of evils in my mind. And because of that, it was actually a lot easier than it might sound. Until you. You were a pain in my ass.”

Understanding of some kind lights her face. “Oooh. Oh my God.
That
was why the night…”

I nod. “The night of Holden’s funeral. Yeah.”

“And then your dad…”

“My dad overheard us in the morning talking about the sheets and everything, and he assumed what everyone else did. Right. And I was indignant, or rather, righteously pissed off because there I was, a stalwart virgin, being accused of the
one
thing I made a point of not doing. Little did they know, I almost did do exactly what they thought, because you were the exception…the only one I ever considered breaking my abstaining rule for, because I knew for certain you wouldn’t bail if, on accident, you got pregnant. And, you know, I was in love with you, so…there was that.”

A breath of air is released from her lips. “Wow. So much actually makes sense to me now in hindsight.” Something occurs to her suddenly though, and she grabs my shoulder, pulling it down almost flat—smooshing my face into the mattress in the process. “‘I see now that the circumstances of one’s birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who are.’”