Last Breath (19 page)

I stared at him, remembering the words he'd insisted that Mom say to Bart.
After you burned down Gary's house, he and his grandmother left the state. He's never coming back. And nobody's going to the police. You tell him that, and he'll leave you alone
.

Sudden understanding locked in my mind. “You burned down your house so Bart would save face. He could tell everyone
he
did it—he forced you out of town.”

“That's right.”

I shook my head. How
awful
. To forfeit everything he owned, everything his grandmother owned. To know he'd have to run with nothing but the clothes on his back …

My mother's description of how he looked that night came back to me.
His eyes told the truth. If he faltered now, if he hesitated one little bit, he'd lose his resolve completely—and stay
.

Gary Donovon
burned his own house
, knowing he'd have to leave immediately. Leave the girl he loved. In order to keep her safe.

“But why didn't you call?” I burst. “Mom could have come to see you in Arizona. You wouldn't have to be apart forever!”

Pain quivered across his face. “You don't know how much I wanted to. Day after day, night after night, I thought about your mom. I was so lonely. I missed her so much, missed my home. But I couldn't risk it. As long as she didn't know where I was, never talked to me, there was nothing Bart and his friends would want with her. After such a sacrifice of burning my own home, how could I gamble with her safety? So I reached out the one way I could. I sent her the roses.”

“But as time passed you didn't think—maybe now it will be okay?”

“How could I know when that would be? And as time went on, I knew your mom's life would have gone on too. Remember, I didn't know about you. And I had my grandmother to take care of. She got a lot worse after that night. She lingered for nine years, then passed away. After that I … lost myself.”

A lump sat in my throat. I tore my eyes away from him and looked to Mom. She nodded. In that small motion I read a huge meaning.
Yes, you can believe him. I do
.

“So … Shaley, will you forgive me?” he asked. “Can we start from here?”

“But you lied to me. You told me you didn't know I was here at the hospital. But you did.”

He looked at his feet. “I know. I'm sorry. I was so afraid you wouldn't believe that I didn't mean you any harm. I was afraid you'd think I was stalking you.”

That made sense, but still … Too many years had gone by. Too many disappointments. Lying was no way to start talking to somebody. My mouth firmed, and I looked my father square in the eye. “Don't do that again. If you want me to trust you, if you want Mom to trust you, you
can't
lie to us.”

He nodded solemnly. “You're right. Here's my promise—I won't lie to either of you. Ever again.” He swallowed hard, and his eyes glimmered. “Prison changes a man. I have to learn how to live on the outside again. But I can put that behind me forever. I can live a good life, like I did before. And as I do that, I want to be a part of
your
life, Shaley.”

My heart turned over as I gazed again at the man before me. The father I'd waited so long to know, had begged God as a child to bring to me. My thoughts flicked to yesterday, huddled and crying in the bathroom.
I'm ready to give myself to you, God
, I'd prayed,
but I'm not even sure how to start
…

On the phone my father had told me people aren't all black and white. That we live in shades of gray. “I'm asking you for forgiveness,” he'd said. Now he was asking again.

This is how it starts, isn't it, God? With forgiveness
.

My mouth trembled. I glanced at Mom, then leaned forward to take my father's hands. “Yes, I forgive you. And I'm so glad you've come back.” My voice broke. I squeezed his hands. “I've waited for you for a very long time.”

45

T
hat afternoon the band members would be going back to Southern California on their chartered plane. Mom couldn't stand to stay behind.

“I'm already going crazy in this room,” she told Ross as he stood, arms folded, by her bed. My father was in the cafeteria, getting something to eat. “There's nothing more the doctors need to do to me, and I can take pills for the pain. Just get me out of here, Ross. I want to go home.”

Home
. My vision blurred. Brittany. Our house. My own bed. Please, please, yes. So much had happened in the last four days. I was exhausted. Like Mom, I just wanted to go
home
.

“Rayne.” Ross patted her cast. “You want to get out of here, you know I'll make it happen.”

I leaned my head back and gazed at the ceiling.
Thank you, God. Thank you!

Mom nodded. She raised her chin and gave him a Rayne O'Connor look. The searing, confident rock star eyes her fans knew so well. “We need three seats.”

“Three?” Ross raised his eyebrows.

“One for Gary.”

“Rayne, come on.”

Mom looked at me as she spoke. “Ross, he has to rebuild a life somewhere. All we're doing is giving him a ride to Southern California.”

“Where he can be near
you
.”

“And me,” I jumped in. “I want to give him a chance.”

Ross shook his head. “He's not the person you knew all those years ago, Rayne.”

“No. But neither am I.”

“You'll regret this.”

Mom smiled to herself. “I don't think so.”

I caught her hand. No, she wouldn't. Neither would I. Prison might have hardened my father's face, but his heart was the same. He just needed to get back to the man he used to be.

Ross heaved a sigh. “Okay, Rayne. It's your life. Three seats.”

Happiness burst through me until I could hardly contain it. Whirling, I snatched up the cell phone on my bed. I pressed and held a well-used button. My best friend answered on the second ring. “Shaley, what's going on?”

“Brittany, I'm coming home!
Today!
”

“Yay!” she squealed.

My voice choked up. I took a shaky breath—and spoke the words I'd dreamed of saying for years.

“And guess what else. I'm bringing my father with me.”

Discussion Questions for
Last Breath

These discussion questions can be used in a book club (a mother—daughter book club, a teen book club) or even as questions to use with friends also reading this book.

1.  In the opening of the book, Shaley manages to keep herself together, even after all that happened to her in
Always Watching
. How do you think she's finding the strength? When hard things happen to you, where do you find the strength to deal with everything?

2.  Shaley hates and fears the paparazzi because of her experiences with them. Do you think she's being weak in this fear, given the fact that paparazzi have been following the band for years?

3.  Was Rayne right to do what she did when she saw Cat? What would you have done?

4.  Brittany is the first person Shaley talks to about what Jerry whispered in her ear before he died. Was Shaley right not to tell her mom or the police? Would you have told your best friend first?

5.  In Chapter 9, Shaley thinks,
For the first time it occurred to me that maybe some good could come out of this terrible accident
. She and her mother may now be able to talk about Shaley's father, instead of fighting. Have you ever seen good come out of a terrible situation? How long after the bad event did you realize good had resulted from it?

6.  Was Rayne right to not tell Shaley everything about her father all these years? What would you have done?

7.  What did the story about Rayne and Gary teach you about real love? What about the love between Gary and his grandmother?

8.  If you were Shaley, would you have tried to get past the bodyguard to find Cat on your own? Would you have done it differently, and how?

9.  How hard of a time do you think Rayne had, trying to raise a baby at the age of seventeen without the father?

10.  What did you think of Franklin Borden as you read his chapters? What did you think Franklin was planning to do?

11.  In Chapter 42, Shaley's father tells her, “People aren't all black and white. We're all shades of gray. Even a good person can make a mistake.” Do you believe that? Why?

12.  Throughout
Always Watching
and
Last Breath
, Shaley is slowly drawn closer to God. Yet in
Last Breath
, while she is crying in the bathroom, she thinks,
I'm ready to give myself to you, God, but I'm not even sure how to start
. At the end of the book she thinks,
This is how it starts, isn't it, God? With forgiveness
. Do you agree with that? Is that true for everyone, or just for Shaley because of her circumstances?

13.  How would you advise your friend or your daughter to give herself to God?

14.  What were your favorite parts in this story?

15.  How is Shaley most like you? How is she different?

16.  What do you think will happen between Rayne and Gary?

Carter House Girls Series from Melody Carlson

Mix six teenage girls and one ‘60s fashion icon (retired, of course) in an old Victorian-era boarding home. Add boys and dating, a little high school angst, and throw in a Kate Spade bag or two … and you've got the Carter House Girls, Melody Carlson's new chick lit series for young adults!

Mixed Bags

Book One

Softcover • ISBN: 978-0-310-71488-0

Stealing Bradford

Book Two

Softcover • ISBN: 978-0-310-71489-7

Homecoming Queen

Book Three

Softcover • ISBN: 978-0-310-71490-3

Viva Vermont!

Book Four

Softcover • ISBN: 978-0-310-71491-0

Lost in Las Vegas

Book Five

Softcover • ISBN: 978-0-310-71492-7