Last Exit to Brooklyn - Hubert Selby Jr (28 page)

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Abraham got up late. He stayed in bed as long as he
could, but the noise the 5 kids made was too much for him. Even the
closed door didnt help so he got up. He sat on the side of the bed
and carefully took the hairnet off his konked and marcelled hair, lit
a cigarette and started thinking about the fine, I mean real fine
brownskinned gal that was in MELS last night. Her skin was light and
real smooth and her hair was long and wavy. Not all tight and stiff,
but smooth man, and long. Yeah . . . And she had on this real tight
dress and when she walked her big ol ass just quivered and shook like
crazy and when she danced the slop you could see the muscles of that
fine ass just rollin all ovuh. Yeah . . . that was some fine stuff.
Man, he shuh would like to bag that bitch and really lay it oner.
Sheeeit ... Id fuck the ass right offen that bitch man, I mean right
off. Man, when I finish screwin that ol broad she/d know she/d been
laid and she/d damn sure know who tu call daddyo. Ghud-damn . . .
I/ll put on some fine rags tunight and make all those cats look like
bums man. I mean this stud is gonna be the sharpest motherfucka that
chick ever seed. Sheeit. This is ol Abe. Ol honest Abe Washington,
hehhehheh . . . and aint nobody, man I mean nobody caint put no shit
ovuh on me. This cats hip man, and when I lay it on that chick I mean
shes gonna knowit . . . Yeah . . . He stood up and stretched, put out
his cigarette and dressed. He opened the bedroom door and yelled to
the kids tu shut up as he walked to the bathroom. They quieted for a
moment then continued running, yelling and shooting. Abe worked the
soap up to a lather then worked the lather thoroughly into his face,
rinsing first with warm water then cold. He patted his face dry with
the towel then inspected his face in the mirror, going over every
square centimeter very carefully, pushing his nose first to one side
then the other, stretching the skin of his neck. After 5 minutes he
was happy to find only one pimple. This he carefully squeezed then
wet the corner of the towel with cold water and patted the infected
area. He brushed his teeth which were naturally white, but he had to
be certain he got off the yellow smoking stains. Then he gargled.
Next he rubbed skin cream into his face—leaning out of the door to
yell at the Ghuddamn kids tu shut up-then inspected his face once
more. He was satisfied. He rubbed some hair grease between the palms
of his hands then patted it on his hair. Then he picked up the comb
and gently, tentatively at first, combed his hair, laying down the
comb from time to time and using the soft brush, pushing each wave in
place, touching here and there, working up this wave a litde more
than the other, being careful a hair wasnt sticking up or out of
place—why dont chuall shutup— stepping back from the mirror to
admire the way his hair sparkled, adjusting a wave a little more,
then picking up the small hand mirror and turning his back to the
large mirror over the sink and holding the small mirror in front of
him he inspected the back of his head, pushing a litde here and
there, then, smiling and thinking of her fine ass, wiped his hands
off on the towel and went out to the kitchen. He told his wife to fix
him some eggs and sat down and cleaned his nails, scrapping the funk
off on the edge of the table. He filed away at his nails and asked
his wife why she didnt get the kids dressed and send them out. They
make too ghuddamn much noise runnin all ovuh. She told him she was
too busy to fret about the kids. The kids had stopped for a moment
again, but started running and shooting and one stepped on Abes foot
and he yelled and swung his arm. The kid darted away, but knocked
into his mother as she was taking the eggs from the refrigerator. She
put the eggs down and yelled that she was gonna get a strap toem and
then maybe theyd stop runnin around like crazy mens. The kid started
whimpering that he was sorry and she took the strap from around her
waist and waved it at him and he cringed and backed away until his
mother relented, then he sat quietly and his sister, the oldest,
scolded him for being naughty and he wanted to kick her like he
usually did, but was afraid. Hed wait until they got outside. Abe
wanted to know what was holdin up his eggs, he had some things to do
today. She brought the eggs and he ate, Nancy telling him about how
the doctor at the clinic say the kids got the maltrition and they
giver some codliveroil, but he say they should have some vitamins and
Abe dipped his bread in the yoke and caught the yoke with his tongue
as it dribbled from the bread and tolder not tu wurry him about no
vitamins and she say she need some money forem and he tolder he giver
20 dollars every week and she can get the vitamins with that. But ah
caint. He shrugged and tolder to givem more collard greens and he
slopped up the stringy uncooked white of the egg with his bread and
tolder to givem his coffee and she poured it and said Ghuddamnit, I
need some more money and he said sheeit, he worked his ass off on the
docks fur his money and he be Ghudamned if hed let her throw it away,
and the kids still sat in silence waiting for the father to go so
they could be dressed and get out where it was safe, and Nancy cursed
Abes black ass and he tolder tu shut up those blubber lips and he
counted out 20 dollars and threw it on the table and said she was
lucky to have all that, that he had a whole mess a bills tu pay and
all she had tu do was buy food and Ghudamnit if yu caint buy enough
with that and the Ghuddamn vitamins then shame onyu. She snatched the
money off the table and yelled at the kids to get dressed and get the
hell out and the two older boys scampered to their room, the daughter
saying, yes Mommy and walking; and Abe gulped down his coffee and
left the kitchen. He put on a jacket, inspected his face and hair
once more, adjusting the frontmost wave, then left the house.

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THE CHASE

A group of kids, about 5 and 6 years old, stood on
the steps of the entrance to one of the buildings. Another group
stood huddled about a hundred feet away. The 2 groups eyed each
other, spitting, cursing, staring. Some of the kids on the steps
wanted to get the mothafuckas now and killem, the others wanted to
wait for Jimmy. Jimmy was the biggest guy they had. When he come
we/ll get the bastards. He run fasteran any ofem. Sheeit man, we/ll
catchem all and killem. Yeah man, we/ll burn the mothafuckas alive.
They paced on the steps impatiently, spitting and glaring at the
other group. Then they heard someone running down the stairs and
Jimmy came out. Jimmy yelled to them and took out a gun and said,
comeon, lets kill those fuckinbastards. They all screeched wildly and
followed Jimmy as he ran at the other gang. They screeched too and
started running. The game of cowboys and indians had started. They
ran along the streets shooting, yelling, bang, bang, yur dead
motherfucka. I gotya. Yo aiss yo did. I gotya. Bang. Bang. In, out
and between the people walking, standing, sitting on the benches;
running around the trees, bang, bang, looking behind and shooting at
the pursuer; knocking into someone and spinning them around—Why
dontya look where ya goin ya stupid bastard—or if they were small
they simply knocked them down the pursuer jumping over the fallen kid
who was now crying and yelling for his mommy. Bang, bang, through the
hedges and spinning around the young trees; knocking over the shrubs,
bang, bang. Jimmy got one cornered by the steps. He stood just in
front of Jimmy on the other side of a baby carriage. The kid feinted
to one side then the other. Finally Jimmy committed himself to one
side and the kid whirled around the opposite side pulling over the
carriage, the baby falling out and rolling along the ground, stopping
as it hit the hedge. The 2 kids looked at it for a moment, listening
to it scream, then a head popped out a window and wanted to know what
the fuck they was doin, and the kids hauledass and Jimmy ran through
the hedge after the other kid, bang, bang, and they ran around the
building out of sight. The game of cowboys and indians continued.

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Ada hummed as she washed the dishes. She scoured the
sink then made her bed, first opening the windows so the bed clothes
should air out, then carefully tucking in the sheets and blanket,
fluffing up the pillows (Hymie always liked his pillow thick and
fluffy), then hanging up her nightgown and the pajamas she laid out
on Hymies side of the bed each night. (Hymie had always liked a clean
pair of pajamas every night and though he had been dead these 5
years, 6 in October, October the 23rd, she still laid out a pair of
pajamas every night, though now she used the same pair each night,
washing them once a month, ironing them and putting them back on the
bed. ) Then she tidied up the apartment, sweeping the kitchen floor
and adjusting the furniture, before wiping the dishes and putting
them away with the other dairy dishes. The humming evolved into light
singing as she put on her sweater and coat and readied herself to go
downstairs. She looked around the apartment, making certain the stove
was off and all the lights out, before closing the door and going
out. Near the entrance to the building was a small area bordered with
benches and a few young trees. Here Ada sat whenever the weather
permitted. She sat on a bench on the near side as she knew it would
be in the sun longer than any of the others. This was her bench and
here she sat and watched the children, the people passing or sitting,
and enjoying the warmth of the sunshine. She closed her eyes and
faced the sun, lifting her face, and sat thus for many minutes
feeling the heat on her forehead, her eyelids, her cheeks, feeling
the suns rays penetrating her chest, warming her heart, making her
feel almost happy. She breathed deeply, sighing inaudibly, and
lowered her head and opened her eyes, then raised her feet slightly
and wiggled her toes in her shoes. Her poor feet had such a burden to
carry and they suffered so in the winter, but now even they were
alive and relieved. It would be many, many wonderfully warm and sunny
months before her feet would have to be tortured with thick heavy
socks and forced to feel the cold. Soon she could go one day to Coney
Island and sit on the Boardwalk and watch the swimmers or maybe she
could even walk in the surf, but she wasnt sure if she should. She
might slip, or someone might knock her over. Anyway, the beach was
nice even just sitting on a bench getting the sun. She watched a
small child ride by on his tricycle then watched a group of children
running after each other and yelling. Occasionally she would be able
to distinguish the words they were yelling and she blushed and
immediately pushed it from her mind (this too would be remembered
next winter) then turned abruptly as she heard a baby crying, seeing
the overturned carriage, hearing the voice from a window, seeing a
blur as 2 children ran away; trying to locate the baby, getting up
from the bench when she finally saw it lying on the ground, but
sitting down when she saw a woman coming out of the building. Those
children really should be more careful. She watched the mother pick
up the child and drop him in the carriage and shove a bottle in his
mouth and go upstairs. I hope it wasnt hurt. The baby eventually
stopped crying and Ada turned away and once more watched the child
circling the benches on its tricycle. She saw a woman passing with
her children and shopping cart. The woman smiled, nodded and said
Hello. Ada returned her greeting but didnt smile. She was a nice lady
but her husband was a no good. He always looked at Ada funny like he
was going to hurt her. Not like her Hymie. Her Hymie was always
friendly. Such a good man. They would have been married 43 years this
summer, July 29th, if he was still alive. Hymie used to help her all
the time. And he too loved the beach. But so seldom they could go.
Only on Mondays when they closed the store and then sometimes it
wouldnt be so nice. But many times they would go and she would make
sandwiches and a thermos of a cold drink and Hymie always got for her
a beach chair and umbrella. He always insisted. I want you should be
comfortable and enjoy yourself. Thats what he said. She would always
say no, dont bother. Who needs it? and they would laugh. But always
Hymie insisted she should have the umbrella in case she might want to
sit in the shade, but she never did and they would sit on the beach
chairs getting the sun and once, maybe twice, during the day they
would go down to the surf and splash around. He was so good her
Hymie. And sometimes when her Ira got older he would tell them to go
to the beach, he would mind the store and they would go an extra day
to the beach. Her Ira was the best boy any Mother could have.
(Everynight before going to bed she kissed their pictures.) Still
only a boy already when they killed him. Just a boy. Not even
married. Not even married when the Army took him. And he was such a
good boy. When he was still just a little one he would come home from
school and tell her to take a nap, hed help papa in the store and
Hymie would smile so big and rub little Iras head and say yes, take a
nap, Iras a big boy now and he will help me and Ira would smile up at
his father and Ada would go back to the small rooms behind the candy
store and lie down. And sometimes, when maybe it wasnt too busy,
Hymie would fix the supper while Ira watched the store and then Ira
would come back and wake her up and say suppers ready Mommy. See? And
everything would be on the table and they would eat and she would go
out and take care of the store while Hymie ate. And Hymie worked so
hard. Opening the store at 6 in the morning and going out and getting
the papers off the street, and sometimes it would be cold and
raining, and he would carry in the big bundles of papers all by
himself ( he would never let her help him with that) and cut the
cords and arrange them on the stand and she would lie in bed,
pretending to be asleep, and all the years they were married Hymie
got out of bed so quietly so she should sleeplonger and every morning
she would wake up but she never let him know she was awake so he
wouldnt worry about her. Then he would come back at 8 oclock and she
would pretend to wake up when he touched her, and she would get up
and fix the breakfast. For 20 years they had that store and they were
so happy—the child ran his tricycle into a tree and toppled off,
but got right up and started riding again—maybe they didnt always
have so much, but they were happy and she could still smell the soda
fountain; the sweet smell of ice cream, syrups, mixed fruits, hot
fudge, marshmallow, whipped cream and the fudgicles, popsicles and
ices and the candy and chewing gum on the counter and the candy
shelves on the opposite side of the store, the sliding glass doors
smeared by the smudgy hands of thousands of children. She used to
lean on the counter and watch them look at the candies pointing with
their fingers pressed against the glass. Many times each day this
would happen and Ada would wonder why they had to lean against the
glass with their hands and why it took them so long to make up their
minds what candy they wanted. And then when Ira came, late in her
life, it didnt annoy her as much. They were young like her Ira. But
when they get older they werent so nice and said bad things to you.
But Ira was always such a good boy. And they had to kill him. And
they didnt even see his body. Just a telegram and many years later a
sealed coffin. My poor Ira. So young. Not even a father and now dead.
Dead already 15 years—a few other children joined the one with the
tricycle and they took turns riding it, laughing and running around
in circles. Ada smiled as she watched them. Dead 15 years and not
even children to remember you. I dont know why they did this to me.
Even dead before Hymie, his father. And even Hymie left me. Such a
good man. Worked so hard his back bent—someone passed and Ada
smiled, but they just walked past not noticing Ada and Ada almost
yelled at them, but stopped as she noticed that now women were coming
down and people were going to the store and children were running and
laughing and the sun was getting brighter and warmer and a few men
straddled a bench with a checker board between them and maybe someone
would sit down next to her and they would talk.