Last Exit to Brooklyn - Hubert Selby Jr (29 page)

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WOMENS CHORUS I

The housewives were on a bench. They looked at Ada
and laughed. Everything comes out in this weather. Even Ada. I guess
shes airing out her clothes. Laughter. Same shitty coat. She wears it
all winter. Why dont she take it off? She got nothin on underneath.
Whattaya mean? I bet shes wearing scabs. Laughter. Shes a filthy
slob. I bet even the fumi-gator is afraid ta go up her house. I bet
her crotch smells like limburger cheese. Laughter. ( One picked her
nose, exploring each nostril first with the pinky, locating the
choice deposits, then with the forefinger broke loose the nights
accumulations, scraping with the thumb and plucking forth, with thumb
and forefinger, a choice meaty snot, long and green, spotted with
yellows, waving it about, then rolling it in a ball, caressing it
between her fingers, trying to flip it off but it clung tenaciously,
adhesively to the finger until it was finally rubbed off on the
bench.) And that fuckin Lucy. I saw her goin to the laundromat with
another bunch of clothes. Aaaaa, who the fuck she thinks she is.
Always washin clothes. Yeah, whos she tryin ta kid. You know her
husbands goin ta school. Yeah. I guess he thinks hes gonna be
somethin. Maybe hes gonna learn ta be a pimp. What for. Aint nobody
gonna want ta fuck Lucy. I bet she thinks its ta piss through. Me, I
wash my clothes when they need it, but I dont act like that. (One
lifted a cheek of her ass, let go a loud gurgling fart and sighed.)
Laughter. Looka Ada smilin. I think shes nuts the way she smiles all
the time like that. She is. Shes got people talkin to/er in her head.
Somebody oughtta call up Kings County and turner in. Laughter. Yeah,
it aint safe with nuts runnin around. All she needs is a good fuckin.
Maybe I should send Henry ova, hed do a good job. Laughter. I bet
shes got money put away somewhere. You know those kind. Yeah. Her
husband was in business for himself and you cant tell me shes gotta
go on Relief. Look atter sittin alone and smilin. If I had her money
you wouldnt catch me sittin here. (A scab is picked off a leg,
examined from various angles then flicked away. )

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PROJECT
NEWSLETTER

It has been brought to the attention of the
Management of this Project that certain Adolescent children are
taking money from younger children, threatening to beat them up if
they do not give up the money they have. They are also stopping the
smaller children on there way to the store with deposit bottles and
taking them away from them along with any money they might have. Any
child caught taking money from younger children will be handed over
to the Police Department for prosecution and the families of the
children will be immediately evicted. The management recommends that
mothers refrain from sending young children to the store with money
or deposit bottles. We want this Project to be a safe place for
everyone to live. It is up to everyone to cooperate.

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Mike finally got up. The babys crying was faint, but
he knew that as soon as he opened the door the crying would be louder
and Helen would come over to him and bother him about something,
wanting to eat or get dressed or ask some damn stupid questions. He
got dressed and sat back on the edge of the bed and smoked a
cigarette, then stretched out on the bed hoping he would feel sleepy.
He covered his eyes with his arm, but it didnt help. He put out the
cigarette and rolled over on his side—Helen heard the movement and
turned from the window, where she had been watching the kids, and
waited for the door to open-but he just didnt feel tired. Still he
lay there hoping he might drowse off and maybe sleep for a few more
hours. At least there would be that much more time passed. I wonder
what time it is? Cant be 12 yet, didnt hear the whistle. If the kids
would just shut up maybe I could get ta sleep. But the sun was bright
and even with the shade drawn there was plenty of light in the room
and goddamn-it, he might just as well get up. Might just as well. He
rolled back to the edge of the bed and slowly stood. The goddamn kid
was probably wet. Krist can he make noise. He went to the window and
peered out, keeping the shade down. Most of the windows of the
apartments were open and he looked in each one, not shifting to the
next one until he was fully accustomed to the changes of light and
was certain there was nothing to be seen. Once he had seen a woman,
not a bad lookin head either, leaning out the window, talking to
someone downstairs, and one of her tits fell out of her robe. She
didnt know he was watching so she didnt hurry to stick it back. And
it was a good size tit too. Things like that might happen anytime,
especially when the weather was warm. That was a good day. He had
felt good the whole day. It was almost as good as gettin a strange
piece. He had a gigantic hardon all day and when Irene came home from
work he walked her right into the bedroom and they fucked like crazy.
He had her sit on it and her tits stuck way out and he buried his
face in them and all the time Irene wiggled her ass and Krist did his
cock twitch. Yeah, that was some day. He wished ta Krist somethin
like that would happen again. A couple a times hed seen a nigga bitch
walkin around with her tits hangin out, but that was different. It
gotim homy, but not the way it did when he saw a white broads tits
with big rosy nipples. Thats what he needed. A strange piece. Been a
long time since he fucked anybody but Irene . . . Except, of course,
for a couplea gangbangs at beer rackets, but that was different. Its
not like really makin a broad; Its not that Irene aint a good
piece—shes built real nice and got a great pair of tits —but he
was gettin tired of the same old shit all the time. And lately she/d
been breakin his balls about getting a job again. Fuck her. Why
should he work? He dont get nothin outta it. Why should he get up in
the mornin and break his balls? They was doin alright like this with
Irene workin. —The baby was still crying, but he was completely
accustomed to the noise now and with his mind preoccupied he didnt
hear him. He continued looking carefully into each window. A young
jew girl lived across from him and he watched her window for a long
time. She had a nice pair of boobs and hed like ta catch her
sometime. If only he could see in the bathroom window and watch her
come outta the tub, man that would be somethin. Nice young stuff.
Shit. Shes probably outta the house by now. He passed on to the next
window. Why in the hell should I work? Break yaballs for what? Ya
dont get nothin anyway. Shit. Almost 26 and whatave I got? Nothin.
Why should I break my balls for some jew for a lousy couple a bucks a
week and they get all the gravy. Fuckem. If I had a couple a bucks I
could see somea the boys tanight and maybe we/d pick somethin up.
Thats what I need ta straighten me out. Been feelin kindda crummy
lately. Need ta go out with the boys is all. If I dont wanna work its
my business. He finished making the rounds of the windows, but went
over them again, quickly, but still there was nothing to be seen.
Balls. He left the room. He ignored the now loud crying of the baby
and went out to the kitchen, Helen walking behind him. I hope ta
Krist Irene made a good pot of coffee this morning. He looked at the
jar of instant coffee on the table and cursed Irenes lazy ass for not
making a pot of coffee. He heated some water and made a cup of
coffee, shaking his head yes, no, at Helen who hadnt stopped talking
since he came out, agreeing, disagreeing, telling her o k, wait a
minute; not today, maybe tomorrow. He lit a cigarette, turned on the
radio—Helen still talking—and finally told Helen to stop
bothering him. I want to go out Daddy. O K, O K, let me finish my
coffee, willya? He drank his coffee and smoked a cigarette then
started to dress her, tearing clothes out of drawers, looking for an
undershirt and, where the hell areya pants, cursing Irene for not
laying out the kids clothes before she left. How inthehell did she
expect him ta know where she kept everything and all the time Arthur
was crying and Helen stood away, her thumb in her mouth, and Mike was
goddamn mad because there was no reason why the things couldnt be
where he could find them and why the hell didnt she dress the kid
before she left and he finally said the hell with it and Helen
started crying and he yelled ta shut up and shoved her in her room.
He made himself another cup of coffee and lit another cigarette,
trying to ignore Arthur, but he couldnt and knew that sooner or later
he would have to change him just as he knew each morning when he
awoke that eventually he would have to get up and he would reach this
same point when he could no longer ignore the yellin brat and hed
have ta change the pissy diaper. Krist, how he hated ta change the
kid in the morning. He didnt mind so much in the afternoon, the other
time he changed him (when he did), but in the morning it was
disgusting. The goddamn diaper was soaked with piss and they stunk
like hell. And usually there was a pile of shit and it was smeared
all over the kids ass. He finished the coffee and cigarette, but
didnt move from the table. Maybe he should go out and get a few
bottles of beer first. Yeah, that was a good idea. He bought a few
quarts of beer and came back feeling better. He poured a glass and
went into the kids room, looked at Arthur, why doya have ta make so
goddamn much noise. Krist, ya stink. He yanked the rubber diaper off,
then carefully took out the pins and turned his head slightly as he
slowly pulled the diaper off. O Jesus, what a fuckin mess! He clamped
his teeth together and was so goddamn mad he wanted to slap the kid.
Arthur finally stopped crying as the wet diaper was removed and Mike
looked at him and told him hed better shut up or hed wrap the diaper
around his goddamn head. He dumped the shit in the toilet bowl and
dropped the diaper in a bucket. The bucket was filled with dirty
diapers and he cursed Irene for not cleaning them yesterday like he
told her. She knows she should wash diapers everyday, the
sonofabitch. Shit. He went back to Arthur, put a clean diaper on him,
pulled up the rubber pants, then dropped a few toys in the crib
before going back to the kitchen and his beer. At least that much was
over and now he could at least sit and have a beer and listen to the
radio and maybe think of something to do.

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The laundromat was crowded and Lucy sat on a bench
waiting. She sat the children beside her and told them to sit still,
but Robert started kicking his feet and Johnny was sliding off the
bench, Lucy grabbing his arm and pulling him back and telling him to
sit still and be quiet. I dont want you running around like those
other kids. Lucy glanced at the machines that had been assigned her
by the woman in charge, trying to determine how much longer it would
be before she could use them. She wished she had a magazine to look
at to pass the time, but if she did she knew she wouldnt be able to
concentrate because Johnny was sure to play with some other kid if
she didnt watch him. She pulled him back to the bench and told Robert
to keep his legs still. O, how she hated waiting in this place.
Nothing to do but sit, and listen to those stupid women giggling and
talking to each other and heheheheheing all over the place. Always
laughing. O, she hated this place. Johnny had slid down again and was
standing leaning against the bench watching his Mother to see if she
would pull him back. She checked the machines again. Wont be too much
longer. Johnny took a step—she hadnt done anything yet and maybe he
could walk around now. Lucy pulled him back by the arm and sat him
down. He would have to wait. Finally the machines stopped and the
woman took her clothes out, Lucy eyeing them. They were still a
little dingy. She got her clothes ready for the machines. Johnny, who
had slid down again from the bench, was moping around. Robert watched
his brother for a moment, then he too slid down and stood, holding on
to the bench. Lucy put the soap in the machines, then added just a
little more. Finished, she turned away from the machines and saw
Robert pick something up from the floor and quickly took it from him,
then looked around for Johnny as she put Robert back on the bench. He
was playing with a little boy at the other end of the laundromat and
Lucy almost yelled, but controlled herself and calmly walked over to
get him. Johnny was playing with a spick boy wearing dirty dungarees
and filthy ripped sneakers. Lucy wanted to yank Johnny away, but she
calmly took his hand and took him back to where they were sitting.
Johnny whined and wanted to know why he couldnt play with the other
kid and Lucy told him that he must sit down, that he might get hurt
by one of the washing machines. Johnny argued, but Lucy was firm. She
smiled at him and told him to sit quietly. Then she looked at her
machines and frowned as she saw that suds were above the indicated
level and were actually visible on the edge of the funnel on the top
of the machine where the soap was poured in. She stared at the rising
mound of suds, her hand still on Johnnys leg, and watched it foam
over the sides and run down the sides of the machine. She didnt know
what to do and was too embarrassed to call the woman who worked
there. The suds continued to billow over and a stream of water ran
down between the machines. Finally someone called it to the attention
of the woman and she came over, tinkered with something in the rear
of the machines and the suds went down and then she asked who had the
machine. Lucy got up and started apologizing and the woman told her
she should be careful of how much soap powder she put in the machine
then told her where she could find the mop. Lucy got it and wiped up
the water self-consciously avoiding every-ones eyes. She replaced the
mop and started feeling a resentment and at the same time incapable
of keeping from wondering if the woman thought she was no better than
the spick at the other end. She went back to the bench and saw that
Johnny was not there, but had once again gone to play with the little
boy. She yelled at him roughly and Johnny came running and jumped up
on the bench, not daring to look at her (remembering the morning),
but knowing she was glaring at him. The children sat still and Lucy
said nothing, but stared at the machines, burning with embarrassment
and resentment. The machines finally stopped and she told the
children to sit right there and she emptied the machines then sat
back on the bench and waited to use the extractor. While she waited a
woman came in with a cart of clothes and asked if she could use the
extractor, the one in her laundromat across the way broke down. The
woman in charge told her she would have to wait until all her people
were finished, that she couldnt let people from other buildings come
in here and use her extractor until her people were finished and she
didnt know if theyd be finished in time, it was getting late and
there were a awful lot of people waiting and she had to close soon.
The woman was annoyed at having waited for an hour in the other
laundromat and then the ghuddamn thing went and broke down and she
was ghuddamned if shed take any lip from anybudy. She said she just
wanted to use the extractor and she/d wait ghuddamnit, but she was
gonna use it and she didnt want no argument, glaring at the
whitewoman and ghuddamn mad at her for talking like that at her.
Well, youll just wait until all my people are finished and if theres
still time you can use it and dont be so damn snotty. Look, ah didnt
come here to take any of yo shit, ahm just gonna use the extractor
and thats all, yo hear? The woman wanted to tell her to get her black
ass the hell outta her laundromat, but she didnt dare. She turned her
back on her, suddenly deciding to help a woman (colored) take her
clothes out of the machine, then told the intruder (the nigga
bastard) that this laundromat was only for the people in this
building, and anyway, the woman in the other laundromat never lets
any of my people use her extractor. The other woman walked over to
her and told her not to give her any of her shit, that if she wanted
to use the mothafuckan extractor that she/d use it ghuddamn it. The
operator stood straight, put her hands on her hips and beamed. You
can just get the hell outta here sister. We have ladies here who
arent used to that kind of language (you filthy nigga whore). Dont
chuall tell me what to do mothafucka. This heres for usali to use an
ghuddamnit Im gonna use this mothafucka if ah gotta break yo fuckin
haid. Dont you swear at me you sonofa( black)bitchen scum—Lucy
grabbed Robert and the cart, and rushed from the laundromat, up the
ramp and out into the air, rushing from the laundromat as she did
from the elevator, Johnny running to keep up with her.