Last Summer (10 page)

The late afternoon sun poured golden across the traffic on Route 1, making it seem beautiful instead of annoying—which traffic usually was. Ella leaned back in the passenger seat of Jeremy’s car, and curled her long, bare legs up beneath her.

“This was a good idea,” she told Jeremy, reaching over to put her hand on his knee as he drove.

“I can’t believe it’s August and we haven’t had lobster rolls yet,” Jeremy said. “
What
have we been thinking?”

Ella knew what she’d been thinking: that things were strange and upsetting with Kelsi, and that Kelsi’s best friend was betraying her. Possibly she was doing so
at this very moment
. And that she had lied to Jeremy and was keeping a huge secret from him.

But Jeremy had probably been thinking about his job.

And Ella. That was one of the reasons she loved him so much, the fact that he was always thinking of her. Ella was used to guys obsessing over her, but Jeremy wasn’t like that. He worried for her.

He’d gotten off work at noon today, and had told her to go home and shower off the salt and sand of the beach, because they were going on a date that required a road trip.

Ella had complied happily. She’d found her favorite pair of Bermudas—cut to emphasize the curve of her hips—and paired them with wickedly high espadrilles and a deep purple tank top. She looked like L. L. Bean gone naughty.

Which Jeremy had fully appreciated, of course.

“I don’t know what you’re wearing,” he said the moment the screen door slapped shut behind them on their way out of Ella’s house, “but it’s already driving me crazy.”

He’d grabbed her hips with his hands and pulled her to him, covering her mouth with his.

Ella poured herself into the kiss, wiggling closer to him and arching her back so she could feel him press tighter into her.

God, she loved touching him.

They’d barely made it into his car—only breaking apart from a blistering hot kiss when Beth and Jimmy interrupted them by walking around the side of Beth’s cottage, dressed in whites and holding tennis rackets.

“You might want to get a room,” Beth had suggested, swinging her racket for emphasis. “Maybe one a little farther away from your entire extended family.”

Jimmy had just watched them, swinging his racket as if he was hitting a tennis ball. If he was offended by the PDA he’d just witnessed, he didn’t mention it.

Ella and Jeremy looked at each other and laughed, and then kissed once more. But then they’d jumped in the car. The next person to come around the side of the building might very well be Ella’s dad, and no one wanted
that.

The moment Jeremy had started heading south out of town on Route 1, Ella had known where they were going. And she was thrilled. Lobster rolls at Red’s were becoming a Jeremy and Ella tradition.

“What made you think of this today?” she asked him now, as they entered the town of Wiscasset.

“You’ve seemed sad lately,” Jeremy said, smiling at her. “And you know I hate that. It’s, like, my duty to make you smile, and I like that.” Ella knew that she had been a little distracted recently, feeling guilty about not telling him the truth about Peter. Part of her knew that it was the right decision, but keeping something from Jeremy was tearing her apart.

Ella looked over at him, and then reached across the space between them to trace his lips with her fingers.

“And you’re good at making me smile,” she told him.

“I love you,” Jeremy said simply, his smile crooked and perfect.

Ella let out a sigh of contentment, and looked around at the pretty town, where traffic was always at a crawl, and tourists browsed through antique shops while walking up and down Main Street’s brick sidewalk. Here it was easy to forget about the whole Kelsi-Taryn-Peter drama, but every time she looked over at Jeremy, so perfect and so in love with her, she felt those little pangs of guilt again.

Jeremy parked, and then they walked hand in hand toward the little roadside shack that was Red’s—easily identifiable from far away, thanks to the long line in front of it.

As a rule, Ella was opposed to waiting in line. But this afternoon was different. Jeremy was there with her, tickling her when she got impatient and making her giggle before she swatted at him.

“I will beat you down,” she warned him at one point through more giggles. “Stop tickling me!”

“It’s that snort that kills me,” Jeremy said, completely ignoring Ella and tickling her again.

And then it was finally their turn at the window, which was just as well, because Ella could tell that the old couple behind them were growing a little impatient with their wrestling.

Luckily, Ella didn’t care what they thought.

Jeremy ordered two lobster rolls, and Ella watched through the window as the woman picked out the best meat and threw rolls onto the grill. Red’s lobster rolls weren’t salad-y (which Ella found revolting), they were just overstuffed with lobster meat. Butter and mayo came on the side.

When their rolls were ready, Jeremy held the plates and they snagged prime seats on the deck, sandwiched between the Sheepscot River and the traffic on Route 1.

They sat side by side and looked out over the water. Jeremy fed Ella succulent bites of sweet lobster drenched in butter, and kissed her fingers when she did the same for him.

“This is perfect,” Ella whispered. “Just what I needed. Thank you.”

“You know I would do anything for you,” Jeremy said, his dark eyes crinkling a little bit at the corners.

Ella looked at him and saw all of that love in his eyes. She felt something swell in her, something so intense she almost wanted to cry. Ella knew in that moment that she had to tell Jeremy everything. She loved him too much to have something this big between them. “Jeremy…” she began, not really knowing how to begin.

Jeremy looked at her expectantly. Suddenly she blurted it out, unable to stop the mess spewing from her lips. “I kind of had a thing with Peter, too. Right after he and Kelsi broke
up. Like, within hours. She stopped talking to me when she found out last summer.”

Jeremy blinked, and shook his head. Some emotion passed across his face, and he shook his head again, silently looking out over the harbor.

“Please say something,” Ella begged, after a moment of terrible silence. Part of her wanted him to say something horrible, so she could yell or scream or
something.

“I don’t know…” he said, looking disgusted. “I mean, what do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know!” Ella retorted, suddenly feeling exhausted by the stress of the whole thing. “I wanted you to know because I love you. But I can’t apologize to you for my past. And I shouldn’t have to.” Even if the past repulsed her, too.

“Hey,” he said, angrily. “Don’t get mad at me. I’m not the one who hooked up with Peter the Tool.”

Ella knew that she had messed up. She had selfishly blurted it out and now she was going to lose him. She had to look away as small tears began to fall down her cheeks.

“Ella, I’m sorry. Please look at me.”

“I don’t want to,” she whispered.

“Look, Ella. I love you,” Jeremy said, and he took her hand again, so she looked at him. His eyes were serious and he started speaking, slowly. “It kills me to think of you with another guy. And I especially hate thinking about you with Peter.”

Ella gulped, trying to force down the sobs that were in her throat.

Jeremy continued. “But I know that it was all in the past. Honestly, I don’t care what happened before me, okay? I really don’t.”

“Really?” Ella asked, quietly. “Because nothing before you matters.”

“I know. It’s hard for me to hear, but I know.”

Ella sighed in relief and leaned in against him. Jeremy moved closer to her and put his arm around her shoulders. They looked over the water as the sun began to go down. “But, El,” he said. “I think this thing about Taryn and Peter has to stop,” he said gently. “It’s like you’re jealous or something.”

“I am
not
jealous,” Ella replied immediately.

“Not about Peter. About Taryn and Kelsi,” Jeremy said in the same easy tone. “I know you feel like she’s taking your sister away from you. Maybe you want to make up for what you did, but Taryn isn’t you. This isn’t your business.”

He didn’t understand, Ella thought, looking away. He couldn’t possibly, but she also didn’t know how to explain it to him, either. She didn’t say anything, but luckily, neither did he. They just sat in silence, Ella in Jeremy’s arms. They looked out over the water and the old, decaying fishing boats, breathing in the cool sea air, and Ella felt lucky and confused all at once.

It had been raining for almost a week, and Beth decided everyone had gone completely stir-crazy.

She stood at the screen door of her cottage, staring out at the grassy picnic area, which was now reduced to mud and rivulets. Sheets of rain obscured the view and made it all a little bit blurry.

Okay,
she
had gone stir-crazy, anyway.

The first day it poured had been fun. The little cousins jumped in the puddles, and the adults played card games while Beth, Kelsi, Jamie, and Ella had lounged around reading, watching movies, or catching up on sleep.

By the third day of unrelenting rain, however, Beth had suffered a severe sense of humor failure. She missed her
morning runs with Jimmy. Because he worked rain or shine, Beth still had to sit around all day waiting for him.

Not, of course, that there weren’t a million things to do around the Tuttle compound
, Beth thought ruefully. Jamie had been knitting what seemed like entire sweaters, but then had randomly ditched Beth yesterday when they were supposed to go to Bed, Bath & Beyond for a dorm shopping spree.

Like it wasn’t weird enough to be off buying things like hot plates and coffeemakers, all in preparation for some big new life Beth couldn’t entirely picture in her head. She had been excited to pick out shower supplies, but at the same time, nervous. Change was hard. Especially when it involved things Beth had always taken for granted, like having her own bathroom and her mom doing her laundry.

Kelsi and Taryn, meanwhile, had been holed up in their bedroom with the entire seventh season DVD set of
Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
When Beth had peeked in yesterday—looking for Jamie—they’d both been weeping.

And Ella, alarmingly, claimed that she was
reading
in bed, and had barricaded herself on the sunporch.

Which meant that Beth had nothing to do but sit around all day, and Beth wasn’t the kind of person who
liked
to sit around for days on end. She liked to
do
things. Normally, she loved her family’s summer cottage, but today she felt trapped in it. Forced inactivity made her feel like screaming.

Which was very nearly what she did when George slammed in through the front door, like Kramer from
Seinfeld
, which Beth assumed George still watched in nightly reruns.

“The thing is,” she said, hearing the crankiness in her own voice and not really caring since it was just George, “I’m not Jerry Seinfeld and you actually don’t live next door.”

“Really? This shocks me,” George said.

“My point is, you could call ahead. Or, you know, knock?”

“Because you’re so busy,” George mocked her.

He stripped off the neon-yellow rain slicker he was wearing and they both watched as water cascaded from it across the floor. Underneath, he was wearing a long-sleeved T-shirt and cargo pants. And extremely muddy boots, which he left next to the puddle he’d just made.

Beth sighed as if she found him unbearably annoying, which made George laugh. In truth, she was happy to see him. He’d been sort of MIA lately.

“What have you been up to?” Beth asked, getting to her feet. “Please tell me it’s been something fun, because I’ve hit complete cabin fever here,” she continued gloomily, aiming her words over her shoulder as she headed into the kitchen to grab the roll of paper towels. Heading back out to the living room, she tossed the roll at George.

Predictably, he bobbled the roll of towels in the air and ended up batting it to the ground.

He was such an idiot. Beth felt a mix of affection and exasperation snake through her.

“Your problem is that you view the rain as your enemy,” George announced. He tore off a paper towel square and ran it over his damp head, instead of at the huge puddle at his feet.

“The rain is fine,” Beth contradicted him, just because she felt like being difficult. “You, however, I’m not so sure about.”

“You manage to find things to do all winter long,” George pointed out. “You don’t have to sit here, being gloomy.”

“If you’re not going to be entertaining, you can leave,” Beth told him, flopping back down on the couch.

George rolled his eyes and flopped into the armchair.

They sat there for a long moment in silence, listening to the rain batter the roof of Beth’s cottage. Beth turned her gaze up toward the ceiling, knowing without having to go look that there would be a pool forming in the cellar and an inevitable leak in her parents’ bathroom. Everything was damp, as if the cottage was a sponge and just soaked in the weather.

“You still seeing Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius?” George asked after a minute.

Beth eyed him.

“We’ve been on a few dates, yeah,” she said, pretending to be indifferent. The dates had actually all been great, and kissing Jimmy was amazing, but she didn’t think George really wanted that information.

“That’s cool,” George said, his knee jerking in a staccato rhythm. Beth realized she still thought it was kind of cute that he was such a fidgeter. So she figured his new girlfriend probably thought so, too.

“How are things with Larissa?” she asked. “She seems really nice. You guys will have so much fun in Pittsburgh.”

George shrugged.

“I don’t know,” he said.

“What do you mean?” Beth had to wonder if she sounded too interested when George looked at her. But she didn’t know how else to sound. She didn’t know what the rules were when it came to talking to her ex about his new relationship.

“She’s definitely a nice girl,” George said slowly. “Don’t get me wrong. But I don’t know if I really…” He shrugged again. “I just don’t think she’s right for me, you know?”

“Why not?” Beth asked.

“I’m not sure I can offer, like, a full analysis here, Beth,” George said. “You either feel it or you don’t, right?” Then he grinned. “The G-Man has high standards.”

Beth rolled her eyes, but couldn’t hold back her laughter.

“Spare me,” she said.

“You know it’s true,” he retorted.

“I know you’re a dork,” she threw right back at him, and then tossed a pillow at him, too, as punctuation.

“Does George come around a lot?” Jimmy asked the next night when the rain had stopped. It was still gray, cold, and overcast, but at least it wasn’t raining. When Jimmy had shown up after camp let out, Beth had practically tackled him with joy. His cheeks were a little bit flushed, his eyes sparkled green against the gray evening, and Beth wanted to rub his closecut auburn hair against her palms.

Now they were walking along the coast road, where the water crashed against the beach and the wind kicked through the houses and cut to the bone. No one else was out, so it was like they were the only two people alive in the world.

Jimmy had not been too excited to find George hanging out in the cottage with Beth again.

“I think he’s just bored,” Beth said now, leaning forward into the wind. “He used to spend his summers with my family, so there used to be a lot more going on.”

“Your family,” Jimmy repeated.

“Yeah, he was like the unofficial boy cousin,” Beth said. “Because we don’t have one of those. Not our age, anyway.”

“Give me a break, Beth,” Jimmy said with a sigh.

“What?”

“You think your family is the big attraction?” He shook his head. “The guy isn’t hanging out with your family. He’s there to see you. What happened to that other girl he was hanging out with?”

As far as Beth knew, Jimmy had never actually met Larissa. He’d just heard Beth mention her.

“George just said she wasn’t girlfriend material,” Beth said with a shrug. “Whatever that means.”

“I know what that means when a guy says it to another guy,” Jimmy said, shooting Beth a look. “I also know what it means when a guy says it to the ex-girlfriend he can’t seem to stop hanging out with.”

Beth let her breath out, and tucked her hands into her jeans.

“Jimmy, we’re just—”

“—friends, I know,” Jimmy finished. He shook his head. “But does he know that? Seriously? Because it seems to me that he’s just waiting.”

“Waiting for what?” Beth asked.

“For you,” Jimmy said impatiently. “Don’t be
naive,
Beth.”

Beth didn’t know how to answer. She looked down at her muddy boots, and wished she could think of what to say.

Was
George waiting? She certainly wasn’t. But if she was honest, she knew that part of her had kind of liked the idea that Larissa hadn’t been up to George’s high standards. Because that meant that only Beth was. Surely, though, that was just normal, residual ex stuff that didn’t mean anything.

She thought of how easy it was to talk to and banter with
George, to slip back into their old patterns. But she didn’t still have romantic feelings for him.

Jimmy was so different from the other guys she’d known. Those guys being George, and last summer, Adam, who was a lot like George when all was said and done. Jimmy was something else entirely.

“Listen,” Jimmy said. He stood there until Beth looked up, and she relaxed a little bit because he didn’t seem mad or upset.

“I’m listening,” she said.

“I like you,” he told her, his eyes clear and, she could tell, completely sincere. “I think you like me, too, and we have a good time together.”

“I think so, too,” Beth said. There was something kind of amazing about having such a direct conversation. She felt electricity shoot through her.

“But I can’t handle George,” Jimmy said. “I tried to just roll with it, but he’s always around. And he’s all over you.”

“He’s not all over me!” Beth protested, feeling her cheeks heat up.

“He makes up excuses to touch you,” Jimmy said very patiently, and Beth knew he was right.

“Okay,” she conceded. “But I don’t think he means anything by it. I think it’s just habit.”

“Tell me how I’m supposed to deal with this.” Jimmy’s
eyes searched hers. “Summer’s almost over. Do I fight him for you? That seems pretty lame.”

“There’s nothing to fight about!” Beth exclaimed. She frowned, and tucked a stray golden hair behind her ear before the wind snatched it across her face.

“I’m friends with my exes, too,” Jimmy said patiently. “But they don’t hang out at my house, or…”

“George is just…” But Beth didn’t know how to describe him anymore. She wasn’t even sure why she was defending him.

“I kind of like him, to tell you the truth,” Jimmy said. But he shrugged then, and let his hands fall at his sides. “But I don’t want to compete with him.”

Beth’s head was reeling. “You’re not competing with him.” She took Jimmy’s hands and squeezed them until he looked at her, straight in the eye. “You’re not,” she said again. “I don’t know what’s going on with George, but I do know that he and I are over. We broke up almost a year ago, and I’ve never regretted it.”

“You’re saying you’re totally over this guy,” Jimmy said very carefully, as if he expected her to deny it.

But Beth met his eyes. Because she knew this was right.

“Believe me,” she said in the same tone, “I am completely over George.”

Because she had to be.