Lay It Down: Bastards MC Series Boxed Set (60 page)

“You are. You know that, right?”

Lifting my head off the pillow, I turned my head to see him, but his
tsks
at my movement made me immediately drop back down.

“I am what?” I asked, completely breathless.

“Enough the way you are.” As he repeated the words of my tattoo, his voice was husky. “You are more the enough.”

His left hand moved to mine, enclosing it in his giant palm and forcing me to keep it around the wood at the top of the bed. His right moved back to my hip and pulled me back onto my knees. I felt as if I was doing a yoga pose, and I started to struggle.

He moved in behind me quickly, before I could escape, hard on soft, and just as I was about to object, he entered me slowly. My gasp was throaty and full of relief at having him so close again, and I giggled as the same sound came from his mouth.

“You are everything!” Pulling out excruciatingly slowly, he leaned over and kissed the words before pushing back in without hurrying.

I bit my lip as I felt every inch of him ease itself inside me.

“Tell me,” he demanded. “Tell me how much you’re worth to me.”

“Matty!” All I could manage was a frustrated grunt. “God, Matty, please?” I wasn’t above begging at this point. I just needed to feel more of him, and I needed to feel it faster.

He chuckled, slowing down his pumps, if that was even possible. “Tell me. I know how much you’re worth to me. I know what you think of yourself. I want to hear you tell me how much you think you’re worth to me.”

My mind processed the words for a minute, because nothing made sense. I tightened my grip on the posts, since it was the one thing I could control, and realized what he wanted. “I’m worth everything to you.”

He shoved in faster, harder, but still not at his usual pace.

The contrast was delicious, and I cried out, “Everything!” before I could stop myself.

“That’s right!” Matty growled back before nipping my neck. “You are enough the way you are!” His hand grabbed a handful of flesh before backing out and slamming in at a mind-numbing pace. “You. Are. My. Everything!” He accentuated each word with a deep, hard thrust.

He was so honest and raw in that moment that it almost distracted me. Almost. Then all thought was gone as he picked up the tempo, in and out, fucking me stupid. The hand on my hip shimmied back up my skin, grabbing my boob just rough enough. His thumb and finger pinched, pulled, and rolled my hardened nipple, and I couldn’t hold on anymore.

My muscles tightened around him, trying to coax out his release so we could have it together. His low grumble of appreciation pushed me over the edge again, and I gasped for air, every nerve on alert. His fingers moved quickly, finding a home at the apex of my thighs. Expertly, they moved to my clit, flicking and massaging. I’d stayed relatively quiet—the fact that it was the middle of the day and there were people around always in the back of my mind—but I couldn’t hold back a second longer. I cried out loudly as his fingers pulled another orgasm from me.

Matty laughed happily, as if he was beyond pleased with himself, and never missed a beat. He slammed into me over and over at alarmingly fast speeds. Though he bit my shoulder roughly, I heard his own moans of ecstasy, muted some by my skin. They were hot and mixed with his still steady pounding. I came again, as he did, making even more noise.

“Fuckin’ Christ, baby girl! Those sounds undo me, every single time.”

I groaned as he pulled out, realizing how sore I was. Then I let go of the headboard and turned over. I needed to touch him. Dropping onto his back, head next to mine on the pillow, he seemed happy to let my fingers roam. Within minutes though, once his lungs had had a chance to catch up, Matty turned onto his side, propped on an elbow, captured my hand in his, and looked down at me.

Normally I’d want to hide, knowing that the cellulite on my thighs and the stretch marks on my belly were giant turn-offs. But the look in his eyes held only love, and I watched in wonder as his fingers trailed down over my body, around my belly button, then over the roundness of my lower tummy. Keeping his hand there, cupping my Buddha belly, he leaned over and gave me a kiss that could melt the polar ice caps.

“Do you have any idea how much you glow when you’re pregnant?”

Romantic mood gone, I sat up on my elbows and watched him cautiously. “Matty?”

Wow. I wasn’t sure what to say. Did marriage suddenly come with more children? Because I was very sure that we agreed we were both too old to start over, and he’d gotten a vasectomy for Taylor.

His eyes flicked to mine for just a second before they looked back at my stomach, as if mesmerized. “Just because we can’t have babies doesn’t mean I don’t wish we could.” His fingers traced one of my faded lines, souvenirs of being a mom. “Did you know that you’re to blame for Sam?”

My forehead wrinkled, and I wondered if he’d been drinking while he’d been out in the great room. He didn’t notice, too busy following my marks as if they were going to lead him to the largest gold mine ever found.

“I wasn’t sure I even wanted to have kids. But watching you carry Ben, seeing how your belly grew a little bit every week and how much you radiated happiness, did something to me. When you pulled my hand here”—he pressed two fingers into my lower abdomen—“and made me feel him kick, I was a goner.” He smiled at me. “From that moment on, I wanted nothing more than to be a dad.”

Fingers moved again, tickling as he danced them to the other side. “Then with Lily, I watched you glow all over again, expanding a little more and more every day as you housed a life. At that point, I didn’t want to just be a dad; I wanted to be her dad.” My heart paused, his words having more of an effect than they should. “I would give anything to watch you grow a miracle that we create together.”

“Matty,” my voice was soft, and I was almost afraid to admit the next part. “I don’t want any more kids.”

He looked up and smiled wistfully. “I don’t either, Joes. I wish we’d figured us out ten years ago. We could have had a baseball team by now.” He let his hand slip off me and gave me a quick peck before pushing himself off the bed. “Come take a shower with me. We have somewhere to be.”

And then he was striding away. I watched his naked back, full of ink, head into the bathroom. What in the hell had that been about?

Chapter 26

Jo

“Go on in, babe. I’m right here.” Matty held the ropes apart so I could climb up into the ring with Nick.

I felt like an idiot in all the protective gear I had on, and I was still reeling about the fact that I was there. When Matty had told me we had somewhere to be, the gym was the last place I imagined. After Rob’s reaction to Cris bringing me here, I never expected Matt to agree to it, let alone arrange a private session.

There I was though. Nick smiled that killer smile of his and went over what we were doing once more. Self-defense was more about avoiding a hit than it was anything else.

“Don’t stand still,” Nick instructed. “A moving target is harder to hit. Someone comes after you, you’re gonna wanna freeze or back into the wall. First gut reaction. But don’t do it. Move.”

He also showed me the pressure points to target: eyes, nose, throat, knees, and groin. If I was backed into a wall, he said, I was to use my knees, elbows, fingers, and feet and aim at those pressure points. The goal was not to kill, but to get the attacker down long enough for me to get away. He had me practice by cornering me and having me try to get by him.

Next, he taught me how to take a punch. Unfortunately, instructions could only go so far. After he’d walked my body through each maneuver and reminded me to constantly keep my eyes on my attacker so I could react appropriately to where the hit would land, he asked me if I was okay with him hitting me. Was I? I hesitated for a minute too long. He looked relieved and suggested we leave this part of the lesson for another time. I shook my head—I wanted it now.

The stomach hit drove me back into the ropes and earned me a nasty remark from him about paying attention, keeping my eyes on him, and tightening my stomach muscles. I not only didn’t tense up, but I didn’t roll with the punch or keep my balance. Epic fail.

The next few blows weren’t much better. My cheek had started to bleed and my lip felt puffy, my side ached when I took a deep breath, and my eyes watered from the pain I felt all over the rest of me. But I refused to give up. Each time Nick knocked me to my knees, I got back on my feet and faced him for more. He was taking it easy on me; an attacker would not.

For the first part of the session, Matty stood patiently next to the ring. Every so often he’d holler words of encouragement to me, or shout something to Nick, asking him to remember to show me another technique. Now though, he seemed to be struggling. He hadn’t said anything in a long time, other than asking if I was okay after the first hit to my gut.

At one point, after I didn’t avoid an elbow to my cheek and I’d fallen flat on my ass, I glanced his way. He had his back to the ring and was leaning over, hands on his knees, as if trying to catch his breath. The next time I sneaked a peak was after I forgot to keep my chin down and I’d gotten jabbed so hard it made my teeth snap on my tongue. The enraged look on his face terrified me, and I turned away quickly.

I didn’t know how long Nick beat the shit out of me, but if felt as if it lasted years. I wasn’t even sure I was getting any better or if poor Nick was just taking it even easier on me than he had when we started. Every part of my body was begging my mind for a break when Cris started yelling to me.

“Jesus, Jo, move! Just because he’s showing you how to get your ass handed to you doesn’t mean you should make it easy on him!”

I didn’t have time to acknowledge her, but relief washed over me. I knew this was all just pretend and that I could tell Nick to stop at any time, but knowing I wasn’t alone was a good feeling.

“Watch him! Keep your eyes glued to his every movement!” she screamed.

As Nick advanced, she walked me through what to do. Slide right. Duck. When he closed in on me again, she told me to watch his hands, move, and react. I jerked my head to the left, throwing all my weight onto that foot, and aimed my heel for his knee. Nick stumbled back, surprised, while Cris shouted excitedly on the floor behind us.

“That’s it! Fight back!”

Nick smiled and shrugged. “I think that’s a good way to end our first class, don’t you?”

I nodded, groaning when even that hurt, and climbed out of the ring. I looked everywhere, but my fiancé seemed to be missing. “Where’s Matty?”

Cris grinned. “I sent him outside. Wicked sore?”

I didn’t even bother to nod, just closed my eyes. “I think my bruises have bruises.”

She gave me an understanding look and pulled me to the locker room. I was too tired to object when she removed all my gear for me then stripped off my tank top and shorts. There was no doubt in my mind that I’d never be able to get my arms to cooperate enough to get the shirt over my head. Then she stepped into a cool shower with me and helped me wash away the blood and sweat. The temperature was frigid, and I wanted to ease my aches and pains with heat, but she insisted cold was better.

As soon as I was clean, she snapped off the water and led me to a massage table. “I need to rub you down. It’ll help, you’ll see. Plus, I need to make sure nothin’s broken.”

Expert fingers trailed over my body, rubbing gently at the spots where I was still tense and inspecting each and every bruise. Not only was I exhausted from the workout, but her hands were soothing, and I had to fight to stay awake.

“Why’d you send Matty outside?”

Cris snorted. “Really?” I waited for her to continue. “My brothah is many things, Jo, but a bystandah is not one of ‘em. He has the white knight complex. If someone is in trouble, he has a psychological need to save ‘em.” She laughed. “He still has a hard time comin’ to my fights, and I could kick his ass in the ring. I think watching the woman he loves gettin’ beat to a bloody pulp was a little more than he bargained for. I was half convinced that he was gonna jump in there and rip Neo to shreds.”

I groaned, rolling my eyes. “This was his idea, not mine.”

“Right. So he was not only watchin’ you take a beatin’ and not able to help, but it was him who put you there to begin with. He needed a time-out. I’m glad Neo called me before you guys got here.”

That made sense. I’d have to make sure Matty knew how much I appreciated his self-restraint. “Oh! How was your weekend away?” Closing my eyes again, I let her hands do their magic as she gave me all the amazing details.

She sounded like a girl falling in love—a very happy and spoiled girl who was realizing the man she was dating could actually be something more than an occasional date. It was so different from her normal view on relationships that I knew something must have changed over the last few days. I didn’t tell her I’d gone to the dinner in her place, or that I knew why she’d started dating Caleb, and I didn’t mention Rob. Cris deserved to be happy, and I didn’t want to be the one who took it away from her.