Lay It Down: Bastards MC Series Boxed Set (62 page)

Becky was in the kitchen, piling snacks on a tray. The idea of this woman doing anything domestic, like baking, amused me. But then again, she’d always been a conundrum. Just like the rest of the women Matt had slept with, Bex was built like a supermodel, with pale golden hair, legs that went on forever, and dimples that could convince anyone to do anything. That was where the similarities between her and the others ended though. Becky’s long hair was in dreads, her arms were colored with tattoos of flowers, her favorite poems and song lyrics, and she had more piercings than I wanted to know about. Even the way she dressed set her apart. It was only mid-April, but she was wearing corduroys, a tiny tank that showed off her ink, and was barefoot.

I smiled at her eccentricities. She stopped and came around the corner to greet me with a giant hug. We’d been friends before the divorce, but I’d been Matt’s friend first, and he kept me when they split. Over the past couple of months though, she and I had spent some time together and were finally getting close again.

As she pulled back from the embrace, she grabbed my hand. “I hear congratulations are in order.” She beamed. “It’s about freaking time, don’t you think?”

“Thank you.” I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. The fact that she was happy about my engagement meant the world to me. I took off my glasses and set them on the table. “What can I do to help?”

Bex raised an eyebrow, grabbing my chin in a way only another mother could. “Those bruises the reason Dean’s sitting on my deck?”

I shook my head, pulling back slightly and not understanding the connection she was trying to make. She turned, grabbed a pitcher out of the cupboard, and started making iced tea.

My curiosity got the better of me. “Why would Dean’s being here have anything to do with my bruises?”

She turned back to me, brown eyes so intent I was frozen in place. “Please! You don’t have to pretend around me. I’ve been living this life a long time, Joey, and I can handle the truth. I know that when Dean shows up here, something serious is going on. Maybe you can’t tell me what, but don’t insult me by acting like nothing is happening. Especially when you look like you’ve been beat to a pulp. Matty better kill whoever touched you!”

I tried not to gape at her, but my mouth wouldn’t close. Her eyes searched mine, and I could tell she was angry with me, but I had no idea why. “I think I’ve missed a step.”

Her face went blank, but she couldn’t mask the surprise in her voice. “You don’t know. You really don’t know.”

It wasn’t a question, but I shook my head. “What does Dean have to do with anything?”

She bit her lip, playing with the hoop in the middle. She sighed before she answered. “Dean’s an enforcer, Joey. Whenever the club has trouble, he comes to stay with us. Whatever is going on, it’s bad enough that they want to have eyes on us.”

“Enforcer?” My voice sounded weak even to my own ears.

She tipped her head and raised an eyebrow, as if to say, “How do you not know this?” Instead, she swallowed and clarified. “For the club, Jo. He does security, amongst other things. He doesn’t have a family of his own, so it’s his job to protect us if Matt can’t be here.”

Suddenly it all made sense: Dean telling me that he had to come because Rocker had sent him, Dean acting as if he’d known Sammy his whole life, Matty telling me he’d trust Dean with his life.

“I don’t know about any of that,” I assured her. “My face looks like this because I’m taking a self-defense class.”

She smirked. “You actually have balls enough to get in the ring with Cris?”

I laughed. “No! Nick’s teaching me.”

“Your fiancée’s brave.” Becky looked behind me just as hands grabbed my shoulders.

They pulled me back into a familiar body, and lips found the spot where my neck met my shoulder. Wrapping his arms around me tightly, he inhaled, making me shiver. Then he was gone, crossing the kitchen in two strides, and grabbed his ex-wife in a bone-crushing hug.

“Don’t hug me!” she admonished as she hugged him back. “I’m pissed at you.”

“Me? Why?” He stood, looking from me to her and back.

I knew the look on her face too well and excused myself before they started arguing. I wanted to hear what they were going to say, but they needed a few minutes to talk in private.

Wandering out onto the deck, I saw Dean. He didn’t turn when he heard me, just sat in his chair, watching the kids and sipping a bottle of beer.

I plopped down on the edge of a chaise lounge next to him. “Are you really here to be our security guard?”

He nodded.

“So you’re just gonna follow me and Matty around?”

He didn’t turn to look at me. “Not you and Matt, no. My job is to protect them.” He nodded toward the kids, still playing and screaming away. “I’m gonna follow them, stay with them, play with them, and make sure nothing at all happens to them.”

“Really?” I asked, my tone cool. “You’re just gonna spend all your time with kids? And how exactly are you gonna keep them safe?”

“I like kids. I’d rather spend time with them than adults; we have more in common.”

Makes sense, since you’re about as emotionally mature as they are, I thought snidely.

“I’m good at my job. You don’t need to know how I do it, just that you can trust me with the lives of your children.”

I swallowed and looked back at the kids. The silence stretched between us as we watched them play Capture the Flag and chase each other. Lily got the advantage and shot up the ladder before either boy could stop her. Once the flag was in her hands, she twirled and hooted, doing a victory dance.

“She’s beautiful.”

“Did you seriously just tell me my eight-year-old is beautiful?”

He scoffed. “Jesus, Jo, I don’t belong to the Bastards just so I can be a pedophile and fly under the radar myself. We kill sick fucks who have those thoughts.” He sounded pissed at me, and without giving me a second to process the words he’d just said, he continued. “I’m saying that she’s a beautiful little girl. And if she’s that pretty at eight, we’re gonna be fucked by the time she’s a teenager and starts realizing boys are not the enemy and that they definitely do not have cooties. She is gonna be a world-class beauty, and we’re gonna haveta scare the vultures away. She is adorable.”

I laughed, taking the compliment for what it was and trying not to read too much into it. “She is. She gets her looks from her daddy.”

Dean turned toward me then, shaking his head. “Not from what I can see. She looks just like her momma.”

I felt the blush rise in my cheeks. No one ever looked at Lily and saw me. Even though I had been blond as a child, everyone assumed she got her hair from Will. Her skin was a blatant contrast to mine, darker than I got when I was completely tan. And she was a tiny speck of a child, short and skinny for her age, where no one had ever accused me of being skinny.

As if reading my thoughts, he continued. “She’s not always gonna be a minuscule little girl. One day, she’s gonna grow up and be all feminine curves. Then you’ll see that she is the spittin’ image of you. That’s probably gonna be the day you decide she can’t leave the clubhouse without at least three brothahs watchin’ her every move.”

“Four. And that’s when we let her out of the clubhouse. I say we send her to an all-girls’ boarding school.” Matty’s voice was full of humor as he walked to my chair, swung a leg over, and pulled me back into his chest.

“We may have to.” Dean nodded as if taking Matty’s absurd idea seriously. “She’s gonna be trouble. Does Cris know the club has a new princess?”

Matt laughed. “Jesus, don’t tell her. Then poor Lily will be her new pet, and we’ll have two of ‘em on our hands. Naw, we’ll just let Lil grow up and see where time takes her.”

No. Uh-ugh. Never happening. Absolutely not. “You two are wrong. My daughter is not gonna grow up and be the next Cris. She’s not gonna grow up and be the club princess, or a club whore, or an old lady, or anything else to do with the club. She’s gonna go to college, have an adventure, and find herself. Away from men who tell her that she doesn’t have a say and that she has to belong to someone.”

Matty tensed behind me, but Dean just laughed. “You’re right, Jo. She’s not gonna be any of those things. ‘Cause that little beauty right there?” With his bottle, he pointed at Lily still dancing around and insulting her brother and Sammy. “She’s gonna have every single brothah wrapped around her little fingah. One day, she’s gonna be the motherfucking club queen.”

Chapter 28

Matty

I listened to Dean’s spiel, half amused until I felt Jo tense a little more with each word. He didn’t wait for either of us to respond, just set his beer on the floor next to his chair, stood, and strode down the stairs toward the kids. Jo and I sat in silence, neither sure what to say. Did she know that he was right? Or was she fuming because she wanted him to be wrong?

I wrapped my arm tighter around her waist and leaned in so my chin was on her shoulder. I could feel the stress coming off her in waves and knew that it might have absolutely nothing to do with Dean’s opinion and everything to do with her own. Did she really think that I was trying to oppress her?

She was wrong. Not every woman had to belong to someone—there were plenty of women in the club who didn’t. Jo was mine, yeah, but shit, the ring on her finger showed everyone that she owned
me
. When it came right down to it, she had more say in my life than I did. If she wanted me to walk away from this life, I would. I’d be fucking miserable, but I’d do it and I’d understand where she was coming from ‘cause being an old lady wasn’t for everyone. I would do anything to be with her, I was that much of a pansy-assed asshole. If she decided to leave, I’d do everything in my power to change her mind, but I couldn’t make her stay. It was her choice, and when she finally had all the pieces of the puzzle, there was a very good chance I’d be all alone. I sighed.

“We’re gonna have to talk about this shit. It’s not gonna magically disappear just because we ignore it, is it?” I didn’t need to explain further. I’d tried to bring up the subject a few times over the last week, and Jo had shot me down every single time.

She leaned back into me, turning her face to mine. Giving me a quick peck on the cheek, she shook her head once. “No, it’s not going to disappear. But I don’t want to know. I’ve told you, I made up my mind, Matty. The past is in the past.”

My chest ached. “It’s not though. It will never be that fucking simple, and you know it. Pretending it is will only make it harder for you.” I resisted the urge to lean into her and kiss away the worry line that appeared between her eyes. “I’m not talking about the past right now. There’s a lot going on, and I don’t want you to feel like I’m keeping things from you.”
Even when I am.

“But you are.” Jo sighed and turned away.

I followed her gaze. Dean was chasing the kids in a game of tag, and all four of them were laughing.

“Let’s not do this now. Not here.” I started to agree, but she cut me off. “There was a time when that was all I wanted—you to let me in, I mean. To tell me the secrets that it seems everyone else knows. I’d like to think that if you love me as much as you say you do, then I’d know everything important about you and the rest of it is just BS. But every time we go somewhere, it seems like something else I don’t know pops up.”

I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding. Finding her hand, I gripped it tight. “And now?”

She turned back to me, the look of confusion clear on her face.

“You said there was a time when you wanted to know all my secrets. What about now?”

She shrugged and turned away before pulling her hand out of mine and standing. “You. Now, I just want you. And I’ll take you whatever way I can.” Biting her lip, she turned and jogged down the stairs as she adjusted her sunglasses back on her face.

Watching her go, I leaned forward, putting my elbows on my knees, and steepled my hands. There was so much to think about. My mind was still reeling from the conversation with Becky, and now I had even more to contemplate.

When I’d walked into my old house a half hour ago, it had been to say hello and finalize my week with Sam. The look on my ex-wife’s face as she talked to Jo had made my stomach knot though, and I almost sneaked out before they saw me.

“You’re fiancée’s brave,” had been the first words Becky uttered when she spotted me in the door.

I’d gone into the room and kissed Jo quickly before I pulled Becky into a familiar hug. She hugged me back but had told me not to hug her, that she was pissed at me. I knew it was coming. As soon as she’d said the word fiancée, I realized Jo had told her before I had the chance. Of course Becky would be angry. We never, and I mean never, made decisions like that without talking to the other and making sure that it was the best thing for Sam.

I pulled away and grabbed her chin. “I’m sorry, Bex. I should have talked to you before I asked her. It happened so fast—”

“Fuck you!” She pulled away, smacking my hand back as she did. “You seriously think I’m mad about that?” She turned her back on me and slammed a dish into the sink.

Leaning on the counter, I gawked at her back. Becky never swore, and if she did, something was seriously wrong.