Layla (10 page)

10

Every day at work, I hardly saw Kyle. His office was right next to mine, but
he never visited me. And he was never in the break room. If he ever needed to specify directions to me, he communicated through email, the least personal way possible.

When Taylor came to my office and asked me out, Kyle didn’t intervene. He stayed in his office the entire time. When I finally asked Taylor to leave, he just kept talking to me. To avoid the situation, I went to the bathroom and stayed there
for a long time before I returned. By then, he was gone.

The only friend I had at work was Joanna, and that was because she always asked me to help her with solitaire. But the companionship was nice. We never discussed anything real, just a fictitious game that didn’t have any bearing on real life. It was a nice escape.

The weeks passed and nothing changed. Kyle avoided me whenever possible. He didn’t walk me home, call me, or act like I even existed. When he came into my office one afternoon, I flinched. I forgot how beautiful and handsome he was. His tie had spots of yellow like it usually did.

“Can I speak to you for a moment, Ms. Gallagher?” he
asked, his hands in his pockets.

I didn’t like it when he called me that. “Layla is fine.”

He ignored me. “I think you’re ready to start working on the pieces of the magazine. I’ll send you articles, and when they are completed, you will send them to me for final inspection. Afterwards, I’ll send it to the chief editor of the magazine. Then it’ll be published. Congratulations.” He seemed so calm and detached; like he was giving a boring report to someone he was indifferent to.

“That’s great,” I said weakly.

“Yeah.” He stepped back and turned toward the door. “Have a good day.”

“Kyle?”

“Mr. Benedict,” he corrected. “And what?”

His voice was so cold. “Did you watch the game last night?”

“I have season tickets. I was there.”

“I couldn’t believe the
A’s lost that bad.”

“Yeah,” he said. He turned to walk away again.

“Mr. Benedict?”

He sighed. “Yes, Ms. Gallagher?”

“I watched the Godfather last night. It’s not that bad,” I said with a laugh. “I understand why you like it so much.”

He stared at me, his eyes hollow. “Congratulations on expanding your knowledge of film and the entertainment arts. Now if you excuse me, I’m needed elsewhere.” He turned and walked out of the office, making me feel like the smallest person in the world.

When I was home, I didn’t do anything. I start watching a lot of TV. Every time I read a book, I thought of Kyle so I stopped.  I wasn’t sure what the association was. Janet and I didn’t talk since our last argument. When Cassie and I hung out, neither of us spoke about her. It was awkward to say the least.

When I was at work late one night, and the rest of workers left, I shut my office door and locked it. I heard two people talking from Kyle’s office. One of the voices was definitely feminine. Since everyone was gone, it made me feel sick to my stomach. The woman laughed loudly and Kyle joined her. His door opened and he walked out, holding a girl’s hand. The sight broke my heart. When I recognized Janet, I froze.

“Where do you want to eat?” Kyle asked as he put his arm around her shoulder.

“I don’t care. Just somewhere with good lighting
so I can stare at you.”

“Well, let’s go somewhere dark afterward so I can do inappropriate things to you,” he said as he pressed his lips to her ear.

It was like they didn’t even see me. I felt the tears fall from my eyes. When a sniff escaped my nose, they both turned. Their eyes widened in surprise, obviously having no clue I was standing there the whole time. Janet’s face was stoic. I couldn’t read her expression. But it was obvious that she didn’t care whatsoever. Kyle kept his face averted, not bothering to look at me. When the pain was too much, I turned the other way and walked through the hallway, feeling my tears drip down my face and fall into my mouth. I couldn’t believe that just happened. My best friend was dating my ex-boyfriend—or a guy that I was talking to at one point.

When I walked down the street, I stumbled into people, unable to see where I was going. After I made it to my apartment, I walked into my shower and turned it on, full
y clothed, and cried harder than I ever had. I couldn’t shake the picture of them in my head. The idea of him kissing her, kissing anyone, made me want to vomit. I clutched myself, feeling the water fall down on me for an hour. When I finally got out, I lay in bed, soaking wet. The water soaked into the mattress, but I didn’t care.

I called in sick the next day. At this point, I didn’t care if Kyle fired me. I bet h
e wanted to. Now I was giving him a reason. And he knew I wasn’t sick. There was no doubt why I wasn’t working today. I did some work at home, but it was only so I could keep my mind off the horrible thoughts in my head. I had no right to be angry with Kyle. He wasn’t doing anything wrong. In fact, he was doing exactly what he should be doing. But I was livid with Janet. The betrayal was unforgivable. She saw how miserable I was without him. I can’t believe she would do that to me.

When the next day arrived, I knew I had to go to work. If I called in sick too many times, I would surely get fired. Even though I was depressed, I need
ed to pay rent so I had a place to live. I didn’t leave my office all day, not eating or drinking. I didn’t use the restroom either.

Kyle walked into my room and I felt my heart fall from my chest.

He stared at me like nothing was different. He opened an envelope and pulled out a few documents. “These are the errors I found while you were—sick.” He spread them out on my desk. “Make sure you are more thorough next time.”

I didn’t make eye contact, looking at the papers. I missed two corrections. I waited for him to ask me how I was doing, to show concern of some sort, but he didn’t say a word.

“And make sure these are completed before you leave today. I need them done.” He turned and left my office, acting like I was just another person in this huge world. Somehow, I felt worse than I did the other day. My heart broke all over again.

I finished my work then fixed my errors
. I printed them out and returned them to the envelope. After I turned off all the lights, I walked to his office and saw him talking to Janet. I felt my heart fall when I saw them together. She was wearing a tight dress and she was giggling, leaning close to him.

Kyle looked at me then waited for me to speak.

“I—here are the edits you wanted.” I held them in my hand, shaking.

Janet cleared her throat. “I’m going to use the bathroom before we go. I’ll meet you at the elevator.”

“Okay, baby.”

She walked past me like I didn’t exist.

I stepped forward then handed him the papers, desperately trying not to cry.

Kyle took it and opened it. He looked at the papers for a while.

I blinked my eyes, trying not to cry.

“Good. You got them all,” he said in a
monotone voice. “I’m glad I caught them beforehand otherwise it would have cost your job.”

I sniffed, feeling a tear fall.

He looked at me with an indifferent expression. “Good night,” he said as he walked past me.

I stepped out of the way and watched him lock the door.

He turned away and headed down the hallway.

“How can you not even care?” I shouted.

Kyle stopped and turned around. “This is what you wanted, right?”

My dam broke and my tears fell in waves. “I can’t believe you would date my best friend.”

“I’m not seeing anyone and neither is she. You even said you didn’t care if she went out with me.”

I remembered saying that but I didn’t think it would actually happen.

“You expected me to just wait until you changed your mind?” he asked incredulously. “I was there in that relationship with you, but you acted like it never happened. You rejected our feelings, our connection, and our time. If you didn’t treasure it, why should I?”

“I—I did.”

“It didn’t seem like it. You don’t want me, that’s fine. But someone else does. Now excuse me and let me get to my date.”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, okay?”

He stopped and stared at me.

“I would take it back if I could. I don’t want you to date her anymore.” I wiped my tears away, looking at the floor. “I made a mistake and I’m sorry. I don’t want to lose you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” I covered my face.

“What does that mean?” he asked calmly.

“I—I want to be with you.”

“Like in a relationship?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Well, you missed your chance, Layla.”

I took a deep breath then sniffed loudly. “I was stupid. I know I was. We had something so great and I let my past sabotage that. I’m so scared of getting hurt that I hurt myself. I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. Kyle, you are such a sweet guy and I—I can’t believe I threw you away. Janet is so lucky.”

Kyle came closer to me, a smile on his face.

“How dare you mock my
misery.”

He wrapped his arms around
me then pressed his face close to mine. His lips kissed my tears away, making my lungs freeze. I didn’t understand what was happening, but I knew I wanted it to. The feel of his arms around me was exactly what I wanted, needed. I held my breath and stopped the tears from falling. He rubbed his nose against mine then kissed my forehead. “I’m sorry I hurt you,” he whispered.

“I’m sorry, Kyle.”

“You want to give this another chance?”

“What about Janet?”

“What about her?”

“Aren’t you dating her?”

Loud claps erupted in the hallway. “It’s about fucking time,” Janet said while she stared at us.

“What?” I asked.

Kyle smiled at me, his arm still around me. “You really think I would date your best friend?”

Janet approached me. “I’m hurt that you actually fell for this plan. I would never mess with your man.”

I stared at them both. “You tricked me?”

Kyle nodded. “It was her idea.”

“Really?” I asked.

“It was the only way I could get you to think straight,” she said with a smile. “I’m glad it worked. And don’t you dare get mad at him.”

I wrapped my arm around him. “I’m just so happy to have him back.”

He kissed my forehead. “You’ll be my girlfriend?”

“I
am
your girlfriend.”

“I knew persistence would work eventually,” he said with a light laugh.

Janet stepped away. “You two have fun.”

I pulled away from Kyle and hugged her. “Thank you so much.”

She squeezed me back. “I’m your best friend. I always have your back. Now go get him.”

She turned away and left the building.

Kyle grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “Wanna come over?”

I nodded.

“Good. Because I wasn’t taking no for an answer.” He pulled me to his side and we left the building, walking back to his apartment. When we were inside, he pulled me to his chest and held me for a long time. “I was miserable without you.”

“Me too,” I whispered.

“Please don’t hurt me again.”

“I won’t.”

He picked me up and carried me to his bedroom. We’d never been in each other’s bedrooms, but the intimate place didn’t bother me. The room was dark, only the light from the street coming through the window. He laid me on the bed then kicked off his shoes. He pulled off his jacket and tie before he lied beside me.

Kyle turned on hi
s side and cupped my cheek, lying close to me. “If this is going work, you’re going to have to open up to me.”

I sighed. “What do you want to know?”

“What happened with John?”

“That’s a long story.”

“And I have all the time in the world.”

“We were together for a few months when he started to become controlling and possessive. It started off innocent, like I couldn’t go out alone, but then it turned excessive, like I couldn’t wear certain clothes, I couldn’t hang out with my friends, I wasn’t allowed to talk to men, I wasn’t allowed to do anything. Then it got worse. If I disobeyed him, he’d hurt me. Every time I tried to get out of the relationship, he would just pull me back. One day, I left for New York and never turned back, trying to get away from him. I’m embarrassed of my past and who I used to be. I let him control me and ruin my life. I promised myself I would never let that happen again. But when I see him, I freeze. I can’t do anything. The new woman inside me just disappears.”

“You regress to the same behaviors at the time. That’s very common.”

“I’m just embarrassed that I was ever so weak. I can’t let that happen again.”

“Which is why you were afraid to be with me?”

I nodded.