Learning to Live Again (3 page)

“I can’t believe we ordered a pizza when we have all of that food you guys brought back from the store.” Chelsea sighed as she leaned back into her chair. Austin just stared at her, mouth open.

Nick grinned. “She’s amazing
, isn’t she?”

“Holy shit, dude. She ate more than any of the guys!” Austin shook his head.

Nick watched Chelsea with such pride. “She’s a runner. She eats a lot. Usually it’s not pizza, but she has been known to pack away a double cheeseburger every so often between her healthy eating,” Nick explained.

Austin laughed before standing to help Ava clear the table so they could all resume making the tree decorations.
The room had resembled elementary art class at first, but after they had all gotten going, it turned out to be a riot, especially with Trevor’s attempt at paper dolls connected by hands with Ava’s instructions. In the end there were only two that survived his flying scissors, and Nick named them both Tom because each of them was missing a leg. Nick decided they needed a paper representative for each of them on the tree, so he set out in making them.

Austin was stringing popcorn and cranberries with a needle and thread, sticking himself at about every other kernel.
Rachel, who was seated right across from him, working intently on adding glitter to pine cones, distracted him. Austin couldn’t get her remarks about getting away from it all earlier in the kitchen.

He knew she was right. He could easily leave the work in the capable hands of his co-workers, but it was almost an obsession. He had thrown himself into his work for so
long, he wasn’t really sure how to let it go.

Rachel
looked up from her pine cones and locked eyes with Austin. He grinned at her, and she smiled back. There was something about her smile that sent a wave of warmth through him. She was beautiful.

“Hey,
look Rachel! I gave you long hair!” Nick grinned as he held up one of his paper people creations. He looked like a small boy waiting for approval.

“I love it, Nick.” Rachel grinned, but Austin noticed a bit of sadness in her eyes.
“It’s perfect.”

“Have you always worn your hair short?” Austin asked as he reached for another pile of popcorn. He wasn’t sure what he had said wrong, but all activity seemed to come to a screeching halt as everyone looked between Rachel and Austin.

“Um, no. It’s a relatively new thing for me,” Rachel responded without making eye contact with him or anyone else in the room.

“I think you look beautiful. Do you not like it?” Austin watched as Rachel set her pinecones down
and shook her head.

“
Thank you. It’s not that. It just wasn’t really my choice.” Austin watched as Rachel tried to smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Excuse me, I’m going to get another drink. Can I get anyone anything?” She stood and turned to everyone. Austin watched as Rachel retreated into the kitchen.

“I’ll come with you.” Ava stood and followed Rachel.

“Nice job, dumbass,” Tom mumbled and shoved Nick’s shoulder.

“Did I say something wrong?” Austin asked, looking directly at Trevor. Maybe Rachel had a bad haircut, and he was drudging up some
unpleasant memories or something. He was at a loss.

“No, its fine, Austin. She just really liked her hair long
,” Trevor explained, but didn’t shed any light on anything.

“She really did have the most beautiful long hair, didn’t she?” Talia smiled at the memory. Everyone nodded in agreement, and Austin once again felt like he was missing a huge piece of the puzzle.

***

Austin woke with a bit of a headache. He had put back one too many beers last night after Rachel never came back to the table to fix the decorations she had been working on. Nobody would comment further on why his
question had made her sad, and it was beginning to piss him off. He didn’t enjoy being on the outskirts of things, and he had a feeling he was missing a crucial bit of information. Of course Ava had just said Rachel was tired, but Austin knew it was more than that, and he decided he was going to find out one way or another.

After taking a long, hot shower and some aspirin, Austin began to feel
slightly human again. With a cup of coffee he would feel brand new.

The house was still relatively quiet, but he could smell coffee as he rounded the corner into the kitchen. Someone
was up, or they had set the timer on the coffee pot. Whatever it was, he was eternally grateful as he poured his own cup of steaming heaven.

Turning around, Austin saw that the sliding glass door was cracked a bit. As he approached it, he saw a thick red ponytail over the back of one of the lounge chairs.

“Good morning,” Austin greeted Chelsea. She must have been out running as her cheeks were still slightly flushed, and she was in workout clothes. “Did you go for a run?”

“Yes, I can’t wait to go shopping later. The village looks really cool. There are cute little shops everywhere.” She took a sip of her coffee as they continued to look at the mountains.
“Who did you choose to buy presents for?” Last night, after they finished decorating the tree, each chose a name out of a bowl to purchase gifts for. Trevor took the last name and set it aside for Rachel since she had gone to bed early. They each had a $50 limit and had to shop locally. It wasn’t necessarily imperative that they kept their picks secret, it was just intended to make it random, and that it was. Austin had chosen Nick, and honestly he was pretty happy with that. Nick would be easy to shop for. Just get something that he could play with or talk about, and he should be happy as a clam. Basically anything that would bring attention to him.

“Funny you should ask
.” Austin took a drink of his coffee. “I actually chose your husband.” He grinned.

“Well, that should be
interesting for you.” Chelsea giggled. She apparently knew the fun Austin could have shopping for Nick. “Do you want any hints, or are you going to wing it?” she asked.

Austin shook his head. “No, I think I will just walk around and wait for inspiration.” He laughed.
“Who did you choose?”

“I got Rachel.” Chelsea smiled. “I have some ideas for her.”

“Hey, tell me something ... what was the deal with the hair conversation last night?” Austin asked. The whole thing was still bothering him immensely.

Chelsea took an audible breath before calmly answering. “I’m sorry, Austin, but that is really not my story to tell. I suggest you try to talk to Rachel about it if you really want to know.” She stood up and stretched her arms up over her head. “I think I’m going to get a shower
, and see if I can drag my lazy husband out of bed to go shopping.” Chelsea patted Austin on the shoulder before disappearing into the condo, leaving him feeling just as lost as before.

The condo was still rather quiet when Rachel woke up. She could hear soft voices coming from outside, and she was pretty sure one of them belonged to Austin. She wasn’t quite ready to talk to him. Frankly, she felt a bit embarrassed about her reaction to something as silly as her hair last night. Austin had asked a simple question, and even complimented her, yet she still managed to have a pity party and run away.

Rachel pulled on a pair of leggings, a long crème sweater and UGGs. She was just about to descend the stairs when she heard the door to the balcony open and close. Pausing at the top of the stairs
, she waited until the bedroom door directly below shut before continuing. Rachel found a piece of paper and wrote a quick note letting everyone know that she was heading out to the village to shop, and she would be back later.

The sun was buried behind a sheath of clouds, making the sky look slightly dreary. The morning air was cold, and even though she could see her own breath as she exhaled, Rachel felt very alive.

The village was beginning to show signs of life as she rounded the corner where a small coffee shop stood. After buying herself a large caramel macchiato and a chocolate croissant, Rachel continued down the cobblestone road. Several of the small shops were beginning to turn their signs to
OPEN,
as she headed nowhere in particular. It just felt really good to be out and moving in the fresh air.

She needed to find
a gift for Talia. When Rachel had finally woken up this morning, she found a slip of paper on her bedside table with a note from Trevor. They all had chosen names the night before, after Rachel had run off to hide from the skeletons in her closet. Talia would be easy to buy for, and even though she hadn’t known her for more than a couple years, she knew enough to be able to find something she would like.

After
wandering through the village for over three hours, Rachel still hadn’t found anything for Talia. She was beginning to get a bit hungry and had seen an adorable little restaurant down one of the side streets.

Rachel was so distracted that she didn’t notice Austin until she practically bumped into him. “Oh! I didn’t see you
,” Rachel gasped as Austin stood in front of her, smiling.

“You looked pretty distracted.” Austin chuckled. “Where were you headed?”

“I was trying to find this little café I saw earlier, but I forgot where it was.” Rachel bit her lip as she looked around, trying to figure out which direction to go.

“Would you like some company?” Austin shuffled from foot to foot.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Rachel nodded. “I think it was down here. Are you hungry?”

Austin followed Rachel. “I am actually.”

The café turned out to be just around the corner. Austin and Rachel were seated outside where they could enjoy the view as well as people watch. The large heaters that were strategically placed kept them warm and comfortable.

Rachel was about to ask Austin a question when she heard his phone buzz. She waited to see if he would ignore it and was a little disappointed when he automatically reached for it and began typing out a reply.

Rachel let out a soft sigh and waited for him to finish. After his phone was placed back on his hip she began to talk. “Maybe you can help me pick out a gift. I got Talia.”

Austin smiled. “Sure! In fact, the first day we were here she saw these turquoise earrings in one of the corner shops that she went on about for close to an hour. I think Tom was about to go back and get them just so she would shut up.” He chuckled
right as their food arrived.

“
Mmm, this looks incredible.” Rachel took a bite of her sandwich and closed her eyes as she chewed. It tasted as good as it looked. When she opened her eyes, Austin was staring at her with a slight smile. “What?” She giggled.

“Nothing. I was just wondering if you always enjoy your meals like that.” Austin continued to watch her.

“I try to enjoy everything in my life. Life is too short. Plus, there is just something about a grilled cheese sandwich that just screams comfort food, don’t you think?” Rachel winked at him before taking another bite.

Austin chuckled and started in on his own meal. Rachel laughed when Austin moaned a bit with h
is first bite. “See! I told you! There’s just something about grilled cheese that make you feel happy. Does yours have bacon on it?”

“
Yes. God, I love bacon.” Austin moaned again after taking another bite. Rachel wrinkled her nose. “You don’t like bacon, Rachel?”

“Not really.” She shook her head.

“Now that’s not right. People who don’t like bacon shouldn’t be trusted.” Austin shook his head in mock disgust.

Rachel giggled. “Isn’t that a bit drastic?”

“Maybe so.” Austin winked at her. “It’s good, but just hanging out with you today makes me just as happy.” Rachel blushed at his declaration.

“Wow, that’s a lot considering your love for bacon.” Rachel winked back at him, causing him to
laugh softly again.

After they finished their lunch and Austin returned a few more messages on his phone, they made their way back to the shop where Talia had seen the earrings. It turned out there was a
matching necklace, and Rachel ended up getting the set. The clerk wrapped it up, complete with a bow and they were on their way.

“What now?” Rachel paused to take a deep breath of fresh air.

“Want to take a ride up the mountain on the gondola?” Austin asked.

“Ooh, yes!” Rachel couldn’t contain her excitement. She still wasn’t sure if she was going to get on skis this trip, and she didn’t want to miss the view from the top of the mountain.

Austin took Rachel’s hand and walked toward the base of the mountain where they could get on. Rachel expected him to let go of her hand, but he didn’t, and she couldn’t help but love the way his large hand covered hers, sending a warmth straight through her. It had been so long since she had a boyfriend—or even a date—and she didn’t realize how much she missed it until now. If just holding hands made her feel like this, she wondered what it would be like to kiss him. She shivered with excitement at the thought.

“Cold?” Austin asked.

“No, I’m good.” Rachel smiled. There was no way she was going to tell him what made her shiver wasn’t the temperature at all.

Austin purchase
d their tickets and then took Rachel’s hand again as they boarded the gondola. “There is a restaurant up top where we can get some hot chocolate and just enjoy the view,” Austin explained as they found a spot next to the side where they could look out. The view was amazing, and the beauty of it all mesmerized Rachel.

“Oh wow! Look at that ridge over there.” Rachel pointed out the window. “It’s gorgeous! It almost doesn’t look real.”
The way the sun shone on the snow, reflecting back like a ground cover of diamonds was unlike anything she’d ever seen before.

Rachel turned and found that Austin was watching her again. “
Why are you looking at me like that?” She blushed. The look in his eyes gave her chills. If she didn’t know better, she would have described it as desire.

“I don’t know what it is, but there is something ab
out the way you look at things. Not just the scenery, but everything. You just seem to find something beautiful in it all … I like it … a lot.” Austin rubbed his thumb over her hand where he still held it in his.

Rachel’s stomach fluttered
, and she could feel the heat on her face. She knew she must be crimson in color right about now. “Thanks,” was all Rachel could manage at that moment without embarrassing herself. They rode the rest of the way in silence, but it was comfortable, almost like they had been doing this forever.

Austin brought Rachel a cup of hot chocolate, setting it down on the small table next to where she sat.

“Thank you.” Rachel picked it up and blew on it before she took a sip of the hot goodness. She was just about to ask him a question when his phone rang.

“I need to take this, please excuse me.” Austin stood up and walked over to the rail, talking into his phone. Rachel sighed and turned back to the view. She was frustrated.
She wanted to know more about him, but he never seemed to be completely engaged in the present. She figured Austin’s job must be very important, otherwise you would think he would have let the work calls go to voicemail.

Rachel had almost finished her hot chocolate when Austin finally returned. “I’m sorry
,” he said as he, too, finished off his drink. Rachel could feel the cold right through her short, thin hair, and she was kicking herself for not bringing a hat. “Do you mind if we head back down?” Rachel asked as a shiver ran through her, this time because of the temperature and the prominent wind that was present at the higher elevation.

“Sure,
you getting cold?” Austin took their cups and put them in the trash before pulling Rachel into his side, wrapping his arm around her waist.

“A bit. The wind is stronger up here. I probably should have brought a hat
,” she explained.

“Come on, let’s get you down this mountain.” Austin kept his arm around her until they boarded the next gondola going down. He then placed her in front of him and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. Rachel couldn’t help but lean into his warmth.

It was close to five o’clock by the time they reached the village below and began walking back in the direction of the condos. As they walked, Austin noticed a small ice skating rink where couples and children were spinning and skating, laughter ringing out. “That looks fun.” Austin grinned at the slippery block of ice.

“I’m not so sure about that.” Rachel laughed. She wasn’t coordinated
enough to be able to spin and twirl while remaining in an upright position.

Austin chuck
led as he slipped her hand back into his and continued on their way. The fountain that was out in the courtyard of the condos was lit up in color changing bulbs. The sun had begun to set when Austin pulled Rachel to a stop, looking at her like she was something he craved. It made her stomach clench. Austin cupped her face in his hands, rubbing his fingers over her cheeks as he leaned in. Rachel knew he was going to kiss her, and the excitement was almost too much to bear. She let her eyes flutter shut, anticipating the moment she would feel his soft warm lips to hers.

“Damn!” Austin pulled back when his phone rang again. “I need to take this, give me just a minute.” Rachel watched him walk away
, talking into his phone again. It was almost like his world stopped every time that damn phone rang.

Austin had his back to her, completely unaware that she had reached the point when she didn’t want to play second to a small piece of technology. He was so engrossed in his conversation that he didn’t even notice when Rachel slipped away.