Leave a Candle Burning (20 page)

Dannan had not made it back to the house all day. He had not planned it that way, but just about the time he was ready to peek in on Corina, he was needed across town. The visit had taken longer than he expected, and he knew when he had finished that it was much too late; she would have been awake from her nap.

But now it was finally time. Dannan knew he might be called away in the evening, or at any time during the night, but he planned to deal with that if and when the moment arrived. His long legs wasted no time gaining the Peterson home, and he knocked loudly on the front door.

Iris must have been expecting him because she opened the door, but the first person Dannan saw was Corina.

“Danna!” that little girl squealed as she ran for his legs. Dannan scooped her into his arms, having to restrain himself from squeezing the life out of her. His eyes closed as her little arms surrounded his neck, and his heart beat almost painfully. He finally shifted her in his arms to look at her face.

“How was your day?”

By way of an answer, she hunched her shoulders and smiled with her whole body, her little hands patting his cheeks before hugging his neck again.

“How did it go?” Dannan asked Iris, who felt her own emotions close to the surface.

“It went fine. She asked for you at nap time but fell asleep so swiftly that she wasn’t upset.”

Dannan looked back at Corina, who didn’t appear interested in leaving his arms anytime soon.

“Why don’t you bring an extra set of clothes tomorrow, Dannan?” Iris suggested.

“I’ll plan on that, and will you please tell Eli that if he has time, I’ll be up to see him when I come in the morning.”

“I’ll tell him. Corina didn’t meet him. I’ll let you handle that.”

Dannan thanked her sincerely, instructed Corina to thank her, and then went on his way, holding tightly to the little girl. A part of him wondered how they’d survived the day. He wasn’t actually sure, but he was thankful that they had.

“You can’t do this every day,” Iris, finding Scottie in the kitchen, told her in plain terms.

Scottie turned away from the worktable, where she was working on the cake for tea, and looked at her.

“I don’t plan to, Iris, but I wanted to keep out of the way this first time. She’s going to be a permanent part of our household. I have plenty of time to get to know her. Right now, she needs this time with you.”

“That’s the full reason?” Iris pressed.

“Iris,” Scottie replied, growing a bit stern, “my heart is not made of stone. Don’t you think I ache when I see that little girl? If it’s selfish of me to keep my distance this first day to save my own heart, then call me selfish!”

Iris kept her mouth shut. She could count on one hand the number of times she’d seen Scottie grow cross with her or anyone else. Clearly this was sharply affecting the younger woman, and Iris had completely missed it.

“You let me know when you’re ready to meet her,” Iris said.

“I’ll do that” was Scottie’s reply, and that was the end of it.

“What’s the verse tonight?” Dannan asked of Corina, putting her down a bit early for her sake as well as his own.

Corina’s little face scrunched up with concentration for a moment before she said, “ ‘Heavens delare the lory of God, and the firnament showdith his handiness.’ ”

Dannan, always delighted with her pronunciation, said, “I learned that verse when I was a little boy. You did very well.”

“You know?”

“Yes, do you want me to say it?”

Corina nodded and watched his face as he recited from Psalm 19, “ ‘The heavens declare the glory of God, and the firmament sheweth his handywork.’ ”

“Where’s Mama?” Corina asked without warning, and Dannan wondered again what he should be saying. He improvised.

“She’s with Papa.”

Corina didn’t seem upset or at all confused by this, but Dannan wasn’t sure if it was the right thing.

“Time to sleep,” he told her, watching as she climbed into bed. At the moment it felt like he’d been doing this for years. The brevity of the time was unreal to him. “Goodnight, Corina.”

Her arms went around his neck when he bent to kiss her, and on impulse he decided to sit on the floor until she fell asleep. It didn’t take long, and when she was out, he went downstairs to read in the parlor, or at least that was the plan. What he ended up doing was trying to pray, mostly asking God to help him in this new role as a father.

“You look distracted,” Alison mentioned to Douglas after tea.

“I was just thinking about how we’re doing as a church family. It’s too easy to look good on the outside but still manage to harbor sin in our hearts.”

“Did something in particular get you to thinking that?”

“I’ve been thinking about our hearts. You won’t find our flock getting drunk and carousing around town, but you might find us unthankful, not humble, unforgiving, and forgetting to pray. All things that are so easy to hide if we aren’t working to know each other and willing to be genuine about who we are.

“And I’m not talking about everyone else, Alison. I’m talking about the Muldoon family. Are we keeping the standard high, or have we let it slip just a little?”

Alison put her head on his shoulder, wanting to be close.

“We know when we sin,” she said after a moment of quiet. “God doesn’t hide His expectations from us.”

“I wonder if there may be even just a shadow of turning in us, though.”

“The heart can be a deceitful place, but if we treasure the Word there, God will show us where we’re stained.”

Douglas put an arm around her, adding a little more to what she said.

“We have to be on constant watch, Alison. We can’t be lazy in any area, or Satan will gain a foothold.”

“ ‘Wherefore, my beloved,’ ” Alison quoted quietly from Philippians, “ ‘as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.’ ”

The two fell quiet with their thoughts for a time, but Douglas suddenly felt restless.

“Let’s gather the kids,” he suggested. “I want to talk to everyone and see how they’re doing.”

Alison went upstairs and Douglas headed outside. Within ten minutes the Muldoons were seated around the parlor, and the topic was holiness.

Jace put Valerie back into her cradle. For some reason, Maddie was exhausted. She had nursed the baby in bed and actually fallen to sleep. Valerie was asleep too, so Jace just moved her and climbed back into bed beside his wife.

“The baby!” Maddie started.

“She’s back in her cradle.”

“I’m sorry,” Maddie said on a sigh.

“It’s okay. Go back to sleep.”

But that wasn’t so easy now. Her heart had tried to leap from her chest, and she now felt wide awake.

“Jace?”

“Yeah.”

“I figured something out.”

“What’s that?”

“I want control. I want God to do for me just as I ask. When I pray that we’ll be here to raise Val, I
demand
it. And when I pray that Cathy will humble herself before God, I
demand
it. Douglas has talked about praying in God’s will, but I haven’t really taken it in. This is what he’s talking about. I can ask, and I can ask in belief, but the ultimate choice is God’s.”

“And the choice to trust God is ours,” Jace added, glad Maddie had told him what she was thinking.

“Yes,” Maddie agreed on a sigh, feeling the fatigue roll over her again.

Jace was in the same state. Long hours in the fields had taken their toll. There was still much to discuss on the subject, but it would have to wait until morning.