Leaving Tracks (24 page)

“It’s upstairs.”

“Go shower,
and bring it out to the picnic table. We’ll sit and get some sun and work at the same time.”

“Thanks, Hadley.”

“North,” I waited for him to turn and face me. “Don’t ever feel like you can’t ask me for help.”

He nodded and gave me a saucy smile before stepping off the ice to go clean up.

W
hen Hadley had
told me a Grand Prix event would be the hardest event I ever did, I hadn’t taken her seriously. After the six-day event, with every muscle weeping and fatigue eating at the edges of my vision, I understood exactly what she had meant.

She had been characteristically silent as we packed up to leave. Her silence often conveyed disappointment, but I wasn’t sure if that’s what I felt this time or if it was my imagination. Second place still wasn’t first but it was still a podium position. As the days grew longer
, I had made the decision I would never be what my mother had been and that was okay. I hadn’t considered if Hadley would be okay with my mediocre.

I waited until we were at the gate for the plane to go home before I broached the subject with her. “I feel like you’re angry at me.”

Hadley shook her head before closing her eyes and resting it against my shoulder. “I guess I just expect more from you. It’s my failing I suppose to expect you to be better than you actually are.”

“Second place is still good. It’s not like I’m eighth.” The eighth place disaster would always be my benchmark for worst skating ever.

“I just feel like if you could apply yourself a little more you’d be first. Just a little more focus from you and less nerves and you’d be on top every time, not a step down.”

“But it’s a single step down,” I argued. “It’s not like I’m not on the podium at all. I’m a lot better than I was because of you. I wouldn’t have even made it this far without you. We’re doing damn good for a first season.”

“I suppose.” Hadley replied without moving.

I sighed. “I don’t have your background, Hadley. If I did, then maybe, just maybe, I could reach where you had stood once upon a time. The only thing
s I have are the basics from my mother and you.”

“You’re right of course.” Hadley responded tiredly. “I’m sorry.
If you’re happy with second then that’s fine. This is your dream, North. You have to do the work and I’m only the guide.”

I put an arm around her shoulders and squeezed lightly. “I had lost hope of ever making it this far, Hadley. Yes, I’m happy with what I have; it’s more than I would have ever had without you.”

“Then that’s all that matters.”

It didn’t feel that way, but I let it go. The crowded airport wasn’t a place to get into an intense argument. Hadley, didn’t seem to have the strength for it anyway.

Hadley slept most of the six-hour flight home. I had learned on the flight in that she had an airsickness that rivaled most people’s seasickness. If she wasn’t asleep, she was clammy and green, and appeared to be on the verge of vomiting at any second.

The sickness made her
frailer than I already thought she was. I knew she was strong–she lived after all in a skating rink that caused her near daily pain sometimes–but I knew she could still be easily broken. The spun glass Wesley had spoken about.

Avala and Wesley met us at the airport in St. Paul.

“Good job, North.” Avala gave me a tight hug. “Hadley, you look dead on your feet.”

“Long week.” Hadley muttered. “Definitely could use some soup, bread
, and a really, really long nap.”

Avala wrapped around Hadley and led her out to the Jeep. “Well we can solve some of that right now.”

Wesley and I followed with the bags and loaded the Jeep as Avala settled Hadley into the back seat. When I climbed into the back, Hadley was eating out of a soup thermos with a Ziploc of bread sitting on her lap.

“There’s another one,” Avala pointed
from the passenger seat to the cooler wedged behind the center console. “And more bread and water bottles to drink. Glory mentioned Hadley would probably be super hungry so I brought along some food to hold over until we get home.”

Grateful
, I pulled out the second thermos and nearly inhaled the soup. With hunger, sated sleep wasn’t long in coming, and I fell asleep leaning against the still eating Hadley.

With summer’s end right around the corner, I gave a great deal of attention to helping out around both the farms. Or as much attention as I could between school and skating. I knew Thierry could hire another set of hands to replace mine, but he hadn’t and the guilt ate at me. Morgaine didn’t need me as much as she had last season and that was a relief.

Since I had a moment of freedom–from everything–I lay in a chaise chair next to our pool. The lakes weren’t bad to swim in, but I didn’t like the thought of swimming with frogs and whatever else used the water for life. Thankfully, neither did my brothers and Thierry had had a pooled installed a few years back.

“You got a package and a
UPS envelope that had to be signed for.” Wesley dropped both into my lap before sitting at the covered table. “We’re going to have dinner on the deck tonight. Thierry wants to barbeque. The ladies of Knifeblade are coming. Avala just called to confirm.”

I opened the small box first and pulled out the
two little black jewelry boxes.

“My
God,” Wesley snatched one of the boxes from my hands before I could even open it. “Is this what I think it is?” He flipped the lid open before I could protest.

“One of my classmates,” I gritted annoyed, “is a metalworker. A miniature one.
We made a trade.” I flipped the lid on the box I held. The two rings gleaming back at me was an assurance they were worth the trade I had made.

“North,
this is…” Wesley handed me the open box, “Beautiful.”

I studied the
single ring in the box he handed back. Yes, it was everything Allie had promised they would be. She had certainly been paid well in kind with the flower shaped dish and cup set for eight and a tea set for four in the same theme. I had shipped both personally a few days earlier.

“Do you think Hadley will like it?” I asked him looking up at him.

Wesley grinned and nodded. “Absolutely.”

Curious, as I wasn’t expecting anything else I ripped open the envelope and pulled out the papers. I felt all the color drain from my face as I read and reread the papers.

“What is it?” Wesley stood and leaned over my shoulder to read. “My God…”

I nodded. “I’ll have to take care of this as soon as possible. I don’t want Hadley to know until it’s resolved.”

“North, your membership has been suspended until the investigation is concluded. Hadley has to know. What if she decides a little competition between now and the International one will do you some good for exposure?” Wesley commented.

“I’ve got to call to speak to them to confirm I’ll be at the
‘meeting’ in three days. She can’t possibly want me to skate before then. She has this nagging habit of getting me ready for competitions months in advance. That predictability will save my ass in this. She won’t have anything before International because that one is next month and too close to squeeze another in.”

“You’re making a mistake by not telling her.” Wesley protested.

“I’m protecting her by not telling her. I’ll tell her when I have a resolution. Telling her now will only have her stressed out and pulling away.”

“When are you going to ask…”

“Let’s see what the USFS has to say first. I need some kind of trump cards.”

Wesley nodded. “North, I love you, but you’re a terrible actor. She’s going to know something is wrong.”

I sighed, “Well, I’m just going to have to work hard on assuring her nothing is then, aren’t I?”

Keeping Hadley in the dark was harder than I thought it would be. I wanted to tell her. I wanted to see her temper and feel good that she would be angry for me. But she’d also be sad and she’d pull away from me. She’d see herself as some kind of pestilence to my skating career.

I wasn’t about to allow her to terminate our nearly one year relationship. For any reason–least of all this one. I would deal and then give her the news.

I
was getting
tired of excuses. North had been acting strange for a week and all he did was pat me on the head or kiss me silent and tell me nothing was wrong. I wasn’t stupid and the longer he was treating me as such, the angrier I became.

“It can’t be that serious.” Glory said as we walked towards the kennels.

I had volunteered to help her with the evening feed, since North had called and told me that he wouldn’t be home tonight; he was staying at the Graton house tonight as he had some work to do in the studio. I couldn’t remember when or how my apartment had turned into his home as well, but it didn’t bother me as much as it would have six months ago. Now, I was just thankful he had called to tell me.

“He’s just acting weird. Distracted to the point of annoying.”

“He’s got his first international competition in two weeks and you’re wondering why he’s distracted. I remember the first time you went to Junior World you vomited every meal, every day for a month because of nerves.” Glory pointed out. “Would you feel better if he was vomiting instead of just distracted?”

I sighed. Glory had a point. An international competition was a big thing but if it had been only that
... “Then why doesn’t he just say so? What’s so terrible about admitting you’re scared out of your mind?”

“We are talking about a member of the male species. They’re only allowed to be scared of two things; bears and alligators.”

“You do realize there are bugs that are worse than bears and alligators.”

Glory waved her hand dismissively. “It’s not big enough to admit fear of or man points are at risk.”

“Man points?” For some reason I was fascinated by Glory’s apparent knowledge of the inner man social system.

“The scale in which all manly things are judged. The lack of man points is a lack of manliness.”

“Where do you learn this stuff?”

Glory laughed. “My secret I must keep or dead you must be.”

I laughed. “Sure. You can keep your secrets. As long as you share the man-pertinent information.”

“What are sisters for?” Glory asked and threaded her hand through my arm. “Now let’s feed some pooches.”

The feeding process wasn’t hard, and it reminded me much of the process that had been in place in my childhood. We checked water and Glory did a quick skills test as she filled bowls.

When we reached the Great Dane
, the whimpering noise stopped both of us just inside the door.

“Well shit.” Glory rushed forward, and without knowing what else to do I followed.

Glory was crouched in a kennel when I caught up cooing to a very large Great Dane. Six puppies were feeding greedily but a seventh puppy lay almost motionless off to the side whimpering. The mother stared at me for a second before lying her head back down and closing her eyes.

Glory wrapped the little puppy up with a towel–I had no idea where she got the towel in the quick run through the kennel–and stood.

“Runt of the litter.” Glory said quietly. “He’s probably not going to make it. I have to call the vet. She wasn’t due for a week yet. The puppies need checked out. They can’t get shots until they’re six weeks old–for health purposes, but I’d still feel better with the vet here.”

I gestured to her hands. “What are you going to do with him?”

Glory sighed. “Keep him warm for now. I’ve got the call to make. The vet may just euthanize him.”

“No.” I wasn’t sure why I was protesting what was obviously a natural occurrence in the kennels. “I’ll take him. You just tell me what to do.”

Glory gave me a skeptical look. “Well. Get the rest of the kennel fed and then I’ll show you how to take care of a puppy until the vet gets here. If the puppy is underdeveloped Hadley…”

“Just
…” I couldn’t think about it. Killing a poor defenseless puppy wasn’t on the agenda for today, “Let’s move one step at a time.”

Glory was still shaking her head after the vet had come and gone again.

The orphan puppy had been carefully washed–had watched Glory do it so I could–and was now resting comfortably on his belly in a clean towel. I held a bottle for him and he seemed to be taking it okay. He looked almost like a Dalmatian with his little spots, though there was a big one covering an eye and going up over his ear. Almost like an eye patch.

“You heard the vet. Every two hours for the first three days. I showed you how to make the mix.” Glory began.

I waved my free hand. “I’m not deaf. Then every three hours for the next four days with the overnights being four hours apart. Second week is four hours apart and six hours overnight. Third and fourth week is the dog food mix with the bottle and maybe one overnight feeding and the fifth week should just be the mix without the bottle and no overnights. Sixth week he should be on solid food like the rest.”

Glory sighed. “You’re going to be a crank for a month.”

“North’s international is in two weeks. I’ll be gone for four days. So technically you’re going to be a crank doing the middle of the night feeding for week three.”

Glory rubbed her eyes. “What’s his name, and I’ll get you a tag.”

“Jack. I think. I like Jack.” I replied.

“Why Jack?” Glory frowned. “That’s so generic.”

“Because of his eye patch. He looks like a pirate and I only know of one, so. He’s Captain Jack Sparrow.” I replied without looking up at her.

“Oh,” Glory shook her head
in amusement. “So you want the registration to say Captain Jack Sparrow? I don’t think it can, you know with Disney copyrights and all.”

“Captain Jack then.”

She nodded. “I can probably do that for you. Let me see if I can find something for you to take Captain Jack home in. And I expect you to take my puppy training classes. Danes are easy to train as they’re eager to please. But Hadley, he’s going to be a decently big dog, even as a runt. He’s going to need big dog exercise.”

“Well, if he trains as well as you say, I can probably let him run and he’ll come when I call.” I replied and looked up at her, “
Unless you’re not that good.”

She huffed, “Pfft. I’m better. You won’t need to call, just whistle.” She stomped away to look for the carrying device.

“Well, Jack. Wait till North gets a look at you.”

Glory came back with what looked like a cat carrier. She set it on a chair next to me and opened the zipper in the top.

“Burp Jack and let’s get this show on the road. You’re going to want to buy your own dog stuff to keep at the rink. He’s probably not going to be able to do stairs for at least eight weeks. You’ll want to keep that in mind.”

“Sure
, sure.” Burping a puppy wasn’t any different than burping a baby and in minutes he was nestled in the carrier wrapped up warmly and sleeping.

“If you take supplies from the kennel, let me know so I can replace the inventory.”

I nodded.

“I made a bag of basics up for you until you can run out to the store. It’s sitting by the door. I’ll carry that, you carry Jack.”

“Or buy online?” I asked.

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

North didn’t show for practice the next morning. After waiting for thirty minutes with Jack bundled against the cold in the carrier, I called his phone and it went to voicemail. I debated with myself for ten minutes before calling the house number.

“Hello?” Wesley answered cheerfully.

“Hi, Wes, it’s Hadley. Where’s North?”

“North? He’s not there with you?” Wesley sounded puzzled.

“No, he said he was staying there last night, and he has practice this morning but hasn’t shown up yet. I called the cell but it went to voicemail.” I answered.

“That’s odd. He told us he was staying with you.”

I was silent for a very long heartbeat. Why would North have lied to both of us?

“Hadley?” Wesley sounded concerned, “Are you okay?”

“I think so. Shock, I think. I’m, well, I am accustomed to being lied to, just not by North.”

“I’m sure he has an excellent reason to not want to worry you. And I’m sure he’ll explain it when he reappears. I wouldn’t take it too much to heart as lying.”

“It’s not truth so it’s a lie.”

“Have you always told the truth to Glory? Or have you cut around it to spare her from time to time?”

I took a deep breath and released it slowly. “I get it. I’ll wait to throw stones until I hear his story.”

“That’s good. I’m making breakfast. Do you want to walk over?”

I thought about it for a moment. “Sure. I can. And you can meet Jack.”

“Sounds delightful. I’ll make sure to have coffee for you when you arrive. See you in a few.” He clicked off.

“North better have a damn good story.” I said to the sleeping puppy. “Come on. Let’s go show you off to Wesley.”

Wesley could lift anyone’s moods. He opened the door for me and shooed me to the table. He frowned out the window a moment then shook his head and smiled.

“It’s already so damn hot out there.” He said as he turned back and moved to pour a coffee mug. He set the mug down and tapped on the top of the carrier. “What’s this?”

“This,” I unzipped the top, “
is Jack. He can’t get shots for little while so I’m actually scared to touch him with my bare hands.” I said laughing nervously. “I forgot to ask the vet about that.”

“Well
, now, he’s just a little guy.” Wesley said peering in. “Here’s what you do. Go wash your hands with that orange soap I have sitting on the sink. It’s antibacterial. And I’ll go dig up my hand sanitizer on top of that. Let your hands dry completely, and it should be okay to pet your puppy.”

“Al
l right. Would you like to too? I mean since you gave me the advice.”

Wesley grinned. “I thought you’d never offer.”