Legacy (34 page)

'For the settlement?'

'There isn't going to be any settlement, Judge. I thought you understood that.'

'I hope you're right, for your sake.'

'For both our sakes, Judge. Now, please make certain that the money gets back in today. Campbell's not worth losing a nickel's worth of interest.'

I spent the rest of the morning and all afternoon receiving callers and sending messages, keeping my head high and doing my best to make the upper-level men who had worked for Father understand that things were to go on as usual. At times during that whirlwind of a day I thought of Justin and wondered why I had not heard from him yet. Surely the news would have reached him by now that I was back in Grampian. He could at least have sent a note. Was he away, gone back to Philadelphia, perhaps with his wife? For the first time I realized how little I really knew of Justin McKay. I had found him so wonderful, so comfortingly right in the things he said and did. I had felt the certainty of my own heart, that I wanted this man, wanted to stay with him and share a glorious future. And yet he had taken himself away from me, and now, when I needed his support, he was still away.

That entire afternoon that I was home, my mind kept inventing excuses and explanations for Justin's behavior. The whole situation had me disturbed and preoccupied. In fact, just before dinner I found myself in the middle of a conversation with a state senator who had called on me to pay his respects, and I was unable to remember a single thing the man had said thus far.

'Pardon me, please, Senator,' I said, and excused myself, walking out of the parlor, where Mother and several other visitors were talking quietly. I went across the hall into the dining room, so that I could be alone and collect my thoughts somehow. I could not go on with this worrying about Justin! It was time to admit it to myself: he had behaved badly towards me, and there was no way around that fact.

My reflection in the glass of the dining room window, even as I looked out at the garden and the trees outside, seemed to mock the certainty of my decision. Was I sure? How could I pass judgement without hearing Justin's side? How could I ... No! I knew that this continuous questioning had to stop. Whatever Justin did or had done, I told myself, it did not change what I had to do. I was going to bring the Rawlings properties under family control, and I had my work cut out for me. This was my task, not something to be shared. Even if Justin appeared at the door and offered to help, I would have to say no. I was going to win on my terms, under my own control. Until I had gained that victory, there was no point in even reading a note from Justin, in the event that he found the time in his busy schedule to write one.

So within my mind I closed a lid tightly on all thoughts of Justin McKay. I found myself staring at the trees outside in the garden, looking at their fresh green leaves as if they were the men I would have to convince during the next few days. Could I back up what I had told the judge? I felt the warm rush of determination, and I knew that I could. It would be a hectic week, but I would get through it. After what I had endured, any life that included warm, soft beds and well-cooked meals was bearable. And now I would go back into the parlor and talk with the many important men whom Father had helped and who would now be useful to me ...

Then as I opened the dining room doors I heard a familiar voice from the front of the hallway. For a moment my heart seemed to stop, but then I forced myself to push forward to the vestibule, where he was arguing with Jared over whether or not I was at home. Those smoldering, dark eyes caught sight of me instantly.

'Catherine!' He was dressed for a formal call, a black cape around his shoulders, his ebony cane and white gloves in his hand. As always, he wore no hat. The black, wavy hair looked slightly tousled. Had he ridden here rather than taking his carriage? Why did it have to be now, of all times? I steeled myself and gathered my strength, for I was going to need it.

'Hello, Steven.' I came forward, interrupting him and cutting off the argument. 'Thank you, Jared,' I said. 'You may put Mr. Graybar's things here on the stand. I'll speak with him in the west parlor.'

In a moment Jared had withdrawn to open the west parlor doors for us. There I could talk privately with Steven, for I was not quite confident as yet of receiving him in company, especially in the company of those men who were now in the other room paying their respects to Mother.

I felt his hand grip my arm and I saw the concern in his eyes. No, I thought, I would not let Steven soften me. I had put him out of my life, vowed never again to . . .

'I was at the capital when I heard the news last night. I came at. . .

'I suggest we have our conversation in the parlor, Steven.' I pulled away from him and directed him down the hallway.

'No doubt we shall both appreciate the privacy . . .’ I let my voice trail off. There! Let him imagine what delights awaited him! Let him recall what he had done the last time we had been together! He would find today that he was in a different house with a different woman, whether he realized it now or not!

Once we were safely in the parlor and the doors were closed, I turned to him. 'And, now, what news did you hear? That the man your father sent had killed Father? Or that the same man had kidnapped me and was holding me for ransom?'

'Don't go taking that tone with me, Catherine. You know perfectly well my father had nothing to do with it. Or do you? Perhaps you'd better tell me what happened. I didn't come here to argue.' His expression had hardened, but the eyes sought mine, probing, as if they could hold me helpless and subdued.

'A man named Campbell. Are you saying he never worked for your father?'

'I . . . simply don't know. But I will find out. And if he did, you will know about it. You have my word.'

'Indeed,' I said dryly. 'You're saying that you'll give me the evidence that would put your father in jail. I shan't hold my breath until you produce it.'

I could see that my sarcasm had stung him. His eyes narrowed. 'You're talking like Sam Rawlings's daughter, Catherine. What happened to the charming woman who wanted to end this family feuding once and for all? Where did all those noble intentions . . .'

'Don't talk to me of noble intentions!
Your
father is still alive!'

'You're talking foolishly, Catherine. If my father had wanted to kill Sam Rawlings, he'd have done it long ago. But you're upset. I can see that. Perhaps I ought to wait for a few weeks until you've had time to come to your senses.'

I flushed with anger. 'Wait for what? If you have something to say, I suggest you say it now. And I'll thank you to keep your opinions about my mental capabilities to yourself! I'm perfectly capable of intelligent conversation, I assure you.'

He shook his head. 'You're spoiling our reunion, Catherine. I haven't the patience to bicker with you. Perhaps later . . .'

'Oh, you imagine there will be a "later", do you? Well, don't. You'll only be wasting your time. I have other things to do, and my future plans have no place in them for Steven Graybar.'

His face remained expressionless for a moment, but I saw the flicker of uncertainty in his eyes. Then it vanished. His old mocking self-assurance had returned. 'You're being foolish, Catherine. Do you think you can deceive me so easily?'

'My mind is made up.' I kept my voice firm, though the emotions were building up inside.

'No, it's not. I could see that the moment you first looked at me today.'

'You're imagining things. I have . . . more important matters with which to occupy my time.'

'You may wish you did, but you don't. You haven't forgotten me. Stop pretending.'

'You're wasting your time, and mine. I have business matters that need my attention, and I . . .'

'Business matters? What are you talking about?'

'You'll find out, anyway, so I suppose there's no harm in telling you now. I'm taking over the management of our family properties - mills, hotels, and all the rest of it. I intend to . . .'

'You?' This was the first time I had ever seen him look startled. 'But that's absurd. Everyone knows by now that there won't be any properties left in the Rawlings estate after all the claims have been satisfied. And, besides, what in the world makes you think you could . . .'

'I've heard enough!' I moved to open the door, but he blocked my path, grasping me by both arms, his eyes burning into mine.

'Oh, no, Catherine.' His tone betrayed no emotion, but I could see from his look that his passions were beginning to get the better of him. Very well! I thought to myself. Let him explode! The more angry he gets, the more I shall be calm and controlled!

'. . . not heard nearly enough,' he was saying. 'If you think I'm going to stand by idly and watch you make a fool of yourself! This isn't something you know, Catherine. It's a different world entirely. It's dangerous. Whether you're right or wrong makes no difference. Unless you know where the right bribes and threats have to go, and unless you're prepared to back the threats with . . .' He stopped and looked away for a moment.

'With murder - is that what you're saying? I think I know about that well enough from experience, thank you.' I tried to keep my tone cold, but despite myself I was beginning to feel the softening of desire amidst my anger at his superior air.

'Catherine, Catherine.' He shook his head, and I found myself being drawn closer to him. 'We both know it's a dirty business. What you've got to see is that you don't really want to be a part of it.'

'Oh, don't I? You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You'd like me to always be available for no one but you, always be ready the moment you wanted a bed partner. Well, I'm not your slave, and I don't intend to be. I'm afraid you'll have to .. .'

His grip tightened on my arms and I had to stop talking for fear that my voice would break. He said nothing, but he drew me closer so that I could feel the pressure of his thighs. I tried to stifle the warmth of desire that spread inexorably through my body. This could not be happening! I had to break away from him! I tried to look away, at the pale blue velvet sofa and chairs that stood mutely behind him on the carpet. I breathed in the scent of his cologne and hated myself for the longing that went through me then. I wanted his embrace, yearned for the fierce, demanding pressure, the touch of his cheek, the light warmth of his breath against my face. I tried to concentrate on something else, tried to listen for the other people I knew were in the house, but I could hear nothing here in this quiet, closed parlor except my own breathing and his, and the tempestuous beating of my heart. . .

'Look at yourself. You know what you really want.'

'That's not true. I . . . I'm going back to our guests. There are men I must speak to . . .'

'You're staying here,' he said. His voice was soft with passion, and as he drew me to him the force of his own excitement added to mine and overpowered whatever resistance I tried to offer. Soon I could feel the wonderful sweetness of his lips, and as I closed my eyes the sensations swept away all other awareness before them. I could hold back my own passions no longer. I clasped him to me, feeling the warmth of him as he parted my lips and made me tremble. Helpless, I tried no more to control those desires that surged so powerfully. I moved against him recklessly, and for a long time we seemed suspended from the world.

At last he released me, letting me catch my breath and noting with satisfaction how the flush of passion had burned my cheeks scarlet. With his hands now locked behind the small of my back, he moved me towards him and then slightly away again, as if to prove how he could have done with me anything that he wanted to. He was smiling that same half-smile I knew so well. His eyes were pleased, victorious, but when he spoke he sounded strangely subdued.

'You see it now, don't you? I had to make you see. You can't change it any more than I can.'

My voice shook and I could feel the tears starting to come. 'You haven't! You won't do this to me again!'