Let It Burn (44 page)

My hand was not steady when it rose to knock at the heavy oak door. It’s glass inlay reminded me of all the times I saw her standing in the sun, the stain glass windows of the library making her look like a fucking angel. My angel.

Charli was mine and I had to prove that to her once and for all. My knock was light because I was so nervous so I had to try again, my breath tightening when I saw movement behind the colored glass. I couldn’t breathe as the door swung open and sunlight spilled into the dark house. Nothing felt right and I realized quickly why; Charli did not answer the door but I realized right away who it was.

“Maisie,” I saw photos of the twins her brothers had married at the cottage, “you don’t know me but...” Blond curls bounced as her head whirled back before she shoved me out onto the porch.

“Oh yes I do, handsome. Quiet, Charli is in the kitchen,” My eyes shot up as she closed the door behind her and stepped out with me, “you got some balls, good looking; her hulking and lethally trained brothers are in there too. You here to mend fences and bring your lady home?” My shoulders straightened and I nodded, looking past her into the house.

“Yes, I am actually. I need to talk to her. Need to explain and apologize and....fix this. Is....is she okay?” My eyes swung back to her pretty blue ones, gauging how much of an ally she might be.

“No,
dick
she is not okay! Charli is fucking crushed and I kind of want to sick Cash and Colton on you right now,” I would take the beating and I think Maisie saw that so she smirked, “something tells me that might just help your case though, handsome. You got twenty seconds to convince me not to let them stomp you within an inch of your life, Cage Cooper. Go.” I liked her immediately, mostly because I saw how much she loved Charli and so I kind of loved her. That is not what I said.

“I love her. I am in love with her and will do whatever it fucking takes to fix this and bring my girl home.” Maisie’s brow shot up as she glanced at her watch. She was actually timing me.

“That’ll do, Cage. That will do. Now. I want you to do just that, handsome. Because that girl,” She tipped her head back towards where my girl was safely tucked away from me, “deserves someone who will fight for her and I hope that’s what you’re in mind to do. Charli is hurting so we all want to hurt you. The boys really will kill you, Cage; like fisticuffs that ends in you six feet under. You need to go.”

“No...but you just said....” Maisie put a gentle hand at my arm and shoved me not so gently towards the steps.

“Darlin’, you need to go. For now. The boys head out in less than an hour to work the fields. Sadie and I will head out to tend to the animals right after. I will be sure to keep us all busy long enough to give you a chance to talk to her. I promise you, you are not leaving here today with your girl, just get right with that now. Now go, be scarce I don’t think Charli could take seeing you beat to a pulp. Man you are handsome.” I actually blushed and stepped back to give in, no matter how it ached.

“I will come back then. I will take whatever those boys want to do to me,” I said it and sighed because I knew she was right, “because I know I earned it. I don’t want Charli to feel guilty if they put hands on me though. I won’t leave here without her. Without knowing she is coming home.” I fixed that last statement because I knew Charli had made a promise to the girls too, and I was in no place to make her break that.

“That is exactly what I want to hear, handsome. Now go save that pretty face; the barn over there is waiting to be restored so it’s empty. Stash your ride and keep an eye out for the boys. Charli needs you to fight, to chase because no one else ever did and that woman deserves it. So don’t you give up, you hear me? Now get scarce, handsome.” Maisie winked at me and I wanted to hug her because I needed all the help I could get.

Instead I took her advice and rushed out to the blazer and while she kept an eye on the door and one on me, pulled into the barn. I climbed out just as she headed back in, a smile at her pretty face and her blonde curls bouncing. I chuckled when I heard her loudly announcing it had been crazy devoted Jehovah witnesses who she had to threaten with bodily harm to get off the porch.

Maisie was an ally and I hoped her sister and twin Sadie might be too. Charli had shared a lot about the sisters in her notes and our many talks. I knew they were identical twins but very differently tempered, and she had taken some time to get close to them even though she knew them her whole life. Now they were as thick as my own sisters and that made me wonder how much of an ally they could really be.

Then again, I know if roles were reversed and Charli had to win me back, my sisters would do everything it took to help her out. Which was exactly what I was hoping the Dixon sisters were willing to do.

For now, I waited for a chance to see my girl, to tell her I would wait however long it took, do whatever she needed and chase however long I had to bring her home. This was not her home, not anymore. Chicago and the cottage, me and the library, that was her home now.

Charli would just have to get right with me bringing her home.

1

Charli was heart-stoppingly stunning. Even when she was broken. It took a little longer than Maisie had expected, but I waited until her huge brothers, dark and menacing, headed off into the fields. Maisie and Sadie followed shortly after, Maisie offering a tiny nod in my direction.

Then Charli came out after them; wearing dark leggings and a too big sweatshirt. As she nursed a steaming cup of coffee, I smiled. It was my sweatshirt. It
had
been mine at least, until I saw Charli in it once. It was a CFD hoodie that was huge on her, the badge spreading nicely over her perfect tits. I came home once to the condo and she had that and panties on. None of it stayed on long, but she wore it all the time after that.

It was a good sign. Charli told me once it smelled like me even after she washed it and wore it with her perfumed hair and sweet skin. Wearing it meant she needed a reminder of me. I watched her lean against one of the pillars of the front porch, blowing at her coffee and staring into the fields. Damn she was beautiful.

I thought one day I might see her here, at her home, and wonder why she might ever want to leave it. Now, seeing her, I could understand. The sprawling fields and crisp air and that tiny town were nice. Pretty. Charli looked beyond that, her eyes full of wonder and questions that would never get answered here. Charli was never meant for this place and I meant to see she realized it was because her home was with me.

Wouldn’t be easy though. I hurt her and here she had people who thought they had to protect her from me. I didn’t care if it was easy, I had to make this right. Had to undo the damage I had done. Waiting all that time in the barn, I had gone over a dozen things to say. Grand acts to prove I loved her and never meant to hurt her. That I couldn’t live without her now.

Crossing the gravel drive between us, I couldn’t think of any of that. I just saw my girl hurting and all I wanted was to hold her and make it better. Hesitating at the edge of the porch, I waited for her to realize she wasn’t alone. Watching her in the mid-morning sun, I knew my words earlier were truth; I couldn’t leave here without her.

“I made a promise to you, Sugar.” My voice sounded rough after the long trip, too much coffee and a few crying jags.

Charli lifted her head from the post beside her and twisted to gape at me. All of me responded to all of her quickly. My pulse picked up, my chest tightened, I could smell her sweet citrus and Sugar scent and of course, my cock woke up at the sight of her perfect tits and round ass in those leggings.

The coffee mug in her hand crashed to the ground as she shuffled back. I closed some of the distance between us, but knew it was too soon to hold her. My arms ached from the need, though. Never realized a body could become so attuned and accustomed to another’s. Mine wanted hers in all the ways it could.

“Cage! W-what....I told you not to...” I was on the porch now, just a few feet between us as I leaned against the pillar beside hers.

“I told you once running didn’t mean a damn thing. Told you I would always chase you no matter how far or how long you needed to run. I knew you would run, Sugar. Nothing’s changed.” Charli’s beautiful face clouded, her eyes shuttering and I hated it but had expected it.

“Everything changed, Cage. You....you lied to me. The one thing that I can’t forgive.” Well shit that hurt. I knew she was going to say things I didn’t want to hear.

“Nothing about how I feel about you,” I took tentative steps closer, breathing deep her scent and aching to touch her, “will ever change, Charli. I made a mistake by thinking you were better off not knowing. Thought I had to protect you. I never, ever wanted to hurt you or lie to you, baby. We don’t just give up, you get me? We fight and we argue and you say I fucked up and I promise never to do something so stupid again. But we don’t give up.” Charli relaxed a little, but she wouldn’t meet my gaze, her eyes darting everywhere and making her seem lost.

“Don’t you understand.... lying to me is like.... everyone lied to me, Cage. My mama, my daddy.... Tucker. Even my brothers. You were the only person...and now...it’s not ever going to be the same.” That cut me deep because she was right, if even a little; I had changed this thing between us.

“I get it, baby. You don’t want protection, not from any of us. Because you don’t need it. You’re the strongest woman I know and I should have realized the last thing you wanted is another person thinking they had to lie to protect you. I am so fucking sorry I made the same mistake they did. I am not the same as them, Sugar. You know that.” Charli softened a little and I moved closer, though there was still too much space between us.

“Cage....I can’t...I don’t know what else you kept from me. How many lies are there? How can I trust you again?” It was time for words and I knew it.

“One other thing, Charli. Just one other thing I never said.” Charli’s eyes met mine as I pressed close, my hands wrapping around the post she clung to.

“Wh-what.... Cage?” A gentle hand wrapped around her throat, feeling her pulse thrumming. The other cupped her jaw, tipping her head back so I could watch her beautiful eyes as I said it.

“I love you, Sugar. I love you so much Charli,” We both went breathless and her eyes lit with stormy, frothy fire that burned me up, “you, Sugar, are the great love of my life and I will do anything. Any. Fucking. Thing. To fix this and bring you home. I can’t go back to my life before you because I wasn’t living before you, not really. I want you, us, a family, in that cottage for the rest of my fucking life. Please, tell me how to mend what I broke, baby. I love you so much. So fucking much.” I realized we were both crying, Charli shaking with sobs as I pressed close.

My head dropped and I was kissing her, gently, patiently, waiting for her to push me away. It would kill me but I knew it wasn’t fixed yet.

Instead her softness fit to all my hardness, her tits pressing against my chest as my arms crushed her close. When her mouth opened and I tasted her, I groaned and almost went down to my knees, taking her with.

Charli tasted like heaven and I had thought I might never again know what her full lips felt like against mine. Charli kissed me back, her sweet mouth working with mine, her body twisting to get closer, hands rough in my hair.

Then she tore herself away. Her eyes glittered, open and full of love and emotion before she turned away. I smiled touching my mouth, lips still burning. Charli said nothing but turned and headed inside, closing the door behind her.

Charli loved me. Now, I would chase her.

The moment I pulled up to my parent’s place, I panicked. I had driven all night, too fast and blindly through tears. I had stopped half a dozen times at least. Not to gas up or for a break. To read the texts from Cage, pleading for me not to run too far. Promising that he was going to chase. To cry and wonder what the fuck I was doing.

More than once I almost turned around, wanting to go fight it out with him. Wanting to yell and say hurtful things I maybe didn’t mean. To tell him all my truths once and for all. Instead, my foot stayed heavy on the gas and I pulled into the gravel drive of my family’s home in record time. It was late, almost 3:30 when I pulled in, but right away I knew they were there.

Maisie and Sadie greeted me with open arms and tears of their own. The boys were waiting inside, tired and angry, a fire going, coffee on and the girls had made my mom’s infamous chili and biscuits. Nothing like coming home with a broken heart to family and food. I loved them and was glad I still had some people left.

For two hours we talked at the massive oak table that split the kitchen off from the long living room. They fed me and let me cry and listened until I had dumped all my shit right at their feet. Then they sent the boys up to bed and started talking.

“Sweetie,” Sadie shot a look at her mirror image, “we love you. We want you here as long as you need. But you are going back to that city, to that house and to that man.” I blinked at her, a massive bite of chili still burning my mouth as I choked.

“Wha-what? I just told you Cage lied to me, I don’t know if I was ever what he wanted at all!” I knew it didn’t make sense, that Cage had proved more than once I was all he wanted.

“Honey,” Maisie gave me a squeeze then her opinion, “you are not a delicate flower who needed Cage to protect you. Yet, that is exactly what he was trying to do and you damn well know it. Do you feel in your heart that he was sneaking around on you?” My eyes watered as I swallowed another bite of chili, a teardrop falling into the smoky delicious bowl of humble pie.

“No. No, not really. Still...that slut wanted him to. He might have. I don’t know. He lied. They all lie. Everyone in my fucking life.” The girls exchanged a wounded look because they lied too, once, but we had long hashed that out.

“Sweetie...we’re human. He’s human. None of the lies that hurt you were meant to hurt you. Just to protect you. Doesn’t make them right. All it means is people fucked up. You love us, still, right? You can love him still too.” I took a sip of the steaming cup of coffee, strong and sweet just like Maisie was known for, and growled.

“Maybe. Look,” My eyes searched the house for signs of my brothers, but they had long ago packed it in, “I do...I mean, I want to...I don’t know. It was like.... for once in my life I had something real. Then I found maybe it wasn’t so real.” Both girls crowded in on either side of me as I broke down once again.

“Honey. We love you and we lied once because we thought it was best for you. It wasn’t. You deserved to know the truth. People do things for the wrong reasons all the time, and we can still forgive them. Don’t refuse to forgive someone for doing the wrong thing, for the right reason. I believe he wanted you, he loved you, and he will chase you just like he promised.” My chest ached because I doubted that, not after I told him not to, more than once. Not after I left him the way I had.

“No. I don’t think so. It’s like Tucker all over again,” It wasn’t, it was not like anything like Tucker, except for the loss I felt, “only I never...I never loved Tucker. Not the way I should have. Not the way I love Cage.” My chili was ruined after that because the three of us sat and cried into it.

After talking to me for a while longer, making it clear they were firmly Team Cage, they sent me to bed. Lying in the master bed that my mama and daddy had shared for so long, I thought about everything they had said. About forgiving people for lies that were only meant to protect me.

My entire life people had lied to me. Yes, to protect me, but the betrayal of a lie stung often more than the truth. How did I know this time was the same? How did I know Cage’s lie was about anything more than protecting himself? Protecting the truth of who he really was? I didn’t want to believe that, but I still barely knew Cage.

Even as this thought plagued my doubts, I knew it was wrong. I knew Cage. I knew he loved to laugh, loved to make me laugh. Even if it was late and we were grumpy because the morning would ruin our weekend together, he tried to make me laugh.

I knew he loved his family and that weekend we spent with them was a big deal for him. That I had grown so close to his sisters since, even bigger. I knew that he hated the idea of Finn wanting his sister, and Gigi wanting him back, because he knew Finn was that guy once. Finn had a past that wasn’t good enough for her in his eyes. Because Cage didn’t think his past made him good enough for me, either.

Scrolling through the endless texts he spent the night sending me, and I hadn’t been able to delete, I thought about that. Wondered if his past was what was really bothering me. Of course it bothered me that he had been with so many women. It was the admittance last night that I couldn’t get right with. Ariel bothered me because she had a different Cage than I did.

Ariel drove him to become the man who let a random woman suck his cock. While her fiancé watched. I didn’t know that Cage, but Ariel did. Cage was a good man, I knew that and one indiscretion didn’t change that; but how it involved Ariel might. I didn’t know if Ariel was a reminder of something more. Something wild and wanton.

Cage:
Baby don’t think for one fucking second I’m not chasing you. I made you a fucking promise. I never lied to you, not once. I didn’t tell you everything because I didn’t want to hurt you.
After I ignored the first two texts from him last night, they grew lengthy and were full of frustration.

Cage:
I should have told you, I know baby. I just.... I thought you needed one reason to run and that bitch was reason enough. To be honest, it crushes me that you can run out on me. No fight with that sexy, dirty mouth, no raising your voice. I could never walk away from you.
That hurt and really, he was right; I put up no fight, I just walked away from him like it was easy.

Cage:
I know you are headed home so you better just expect me a few hours after you get there. I am fucking crazy about you, Charli Dixon. I won’t let you walk away like it’s this easy. You’re my fucking future, don’t you get that? You are who I took home to my mother, who I want to have a life with. You don’t get to just walk away the minute it gets tough. I’ll be right there, baby. I promised and you might make it hard on me, but that’s okay. I maybe even deserve it. I won’t go away, Sugar. What about how I been chasing you this whole time makes you think this changes a single thing?
Snuggled in the too-big bed, I smiled because that was true too; Cage said from the beginning he would chase me and to be honest, it felt good. I didn’t want to hurt him and I didn’t know what I would say if he showed up, but I wanted him to at least try. At least make me feel like the last two months of my life meant something.

Cage:
You get that ass there safe and wait because I’m coming after you. Show me where you grew up. Let me meet your family. Show them how much you mean to me. Keep your shit packed though. Because you are coming home with me, Sugar. I won’t leave without you.

Snuggling in, missing him beside me, I kind of hoped he meant it.

1

When I woke up, I didn’t feel like I was at home. Not this home, anyway. I felt like I would turn over and find Cage there, awake and watching me like he often was. Instead I put my arm out to an empty bed and then the last hours of my life came rushing back.

My hand landed on my phone seconds later and saw I had a ton more messages. From Sara and Lola, from Gigi and even Finn. Which was strange because I don’t recall giving him my number.

They were all worried and while Sara was staunchly Team Charli, it felt like she really meant Team Charli and Cage. The rest were lining up behind Maisie and Sadie. Another time I might have been annoyed or even offended. Instead, I was glad I had all these people in my life that cared about me, who cared about us. That was because of Cage.

After a quick call to Sara, who I had texted on my way here, I had to go downstairs to face my family. I told Sara the truth, at least part of it. My family needed me at home to help with the family business. I did say Cage and I were moving too fast so it was a good time to go. Sara thought so highly of Cage, even if she had warned me against him. I just couldn’t tell her about the lies.

I apologized profusely for ditching her and the library and the kids in the program. Seems I picked a perfect time because they had some intense testing going on and likely would not have made for happy students anyway. I heard the others milling about downstairs so I squared my shoulders and prepared to face them.

“Morning Cupcake,” Cash called from his seat at the head of the table, chair tipped back as he nursed a massive coffee, “do we have orders today?” Frowning, I headed for my own mug of coffee, needing it after the shit night and lack of sleep.

“Orders? I am not here to run the place again. Just to give the girls a crash course in all things confectionery and nurse my wounded heart.” Maisie must have made the coffee because it was str-o-ong.

“Think he meant the latter, sweetie,” Maisie sent him a death glare and he ducked his head, sitting his chair on all fours, “no orders to go on hunting spree, baby. Not today.” I mouthed a
“Thank you”
to her as I turned my nose up at the huge breakfast Colton was busy serving up. Eggs, bacon, sausage, homemade waffles with my mom’s ancient waffler, fresh butter and biscuits. They knew I liked to eat when I was sad, apparently.

“I need to just figure my head out, Cash. Once upon a time I think you might have liked Cage. He’s a good man.” I sighed and nodded at Colton, both of us smirking as he made me a heaping plate.

“That might be true. Once upon a time. Then he made the mistake of hurting you and now, well...I hate to have to kill him, but its status quo, Cupcake.” Cash shrugged as he smiled.

Cash was handsome, the most handsome boy in all of Sumner, next to Colton. Wavy dark hair with streaks of copper from working in the sun, bronze skin from the same and bright gray blue eyes. He smiled slow but bright and warm and if you could make him smile, it meant a lot. His left arm, covered in dark tattoos that told the story of his time in Afghanistan, a match to Colton’s opposite arm in fact, was scarred and less mobile than it used to be.

Colton had a mop of curly hair and was fast to smile but took a while to heal when he was hurt. Both were hurt on missions that sent them home for good. Colton’s right leg took all his damage and he limped sometimes after a long day, but he was the one most tortured by the injury. Sadie was just bright and shiny enough to be his buoy and he looked at her like she really did save his life.

“Oh Cash, something tells me you wanted to kill him once you found out he existed. Charli is a big girl; if she needs him killed, she can tell us. We have plenty of land to bury the body.” Sadie winked at me as she swatted Colton’s backside and took the kiss and plate of food he offered.

“Whatever Charli wants. One way or another I intend to have a sit down with this dick, Cooper.” Colton insisted as he came to pull out our chairs and take the chair at the other end of the table.

“Is that so?” I smirked around a piece of bacon as he smirked back and took a voracious bite out of his biscuit.

“You damn right,” He muffled around it, everyone laughing gently, “You forgive him I set the rules for how he treats you going forward. You don’t. Dead. Pass the jam, sweet pea.” Colton smirked at his wife as she slid homemade preserves down the long table with a wink.

“Well I don’t know where the fuck my head is at with it right now, to be honest.” I took my own violent bite of biscuit, mine covered in butter and melting in my mouth.

“I think-” Maisie smiled as a knock came at the door, all of us turning; it was barely eight am and we lived miles outside of town.

“Who the hell?” Cash started to get up but Maisie stopped him and hopped to her feet, halfway across the room before anyone could say a word.

“Don’t worry, I bet it’s those damn church folks again. Finish breakfast, I can take care of it.” I watched as the twins exchanged a look, making me hyper aware of whoever was at the door.

Maisie slipped out after an eye roll over her shoulder, none of us able to see past her for a look at who it was. Something felt wrong. No, not wrong exactly. The hollow ache in my chest, the one that was there the minute I walked out of the cottage last night, soothed a little. Just a little. Seeing the shadow of Maisie through the colorful glass cutouts, and another shadow, I felt a familiar presence. No.

No, I had told him not to chase me. Even if I had all but begged him before last night to always chase me. To not let me fuck this up when I knew I would try to. Cage had reasons for lying and they meant one of two things.

One, he was a lying piece of shit who used me to get to Ariel. Or two, he thought the truth would run me away or hurt me so the lies seemed a lesser evil. Either way he was in no position to chase after me, especially after I told him not to.