Lethal Temptations (Tempted #5) (6 page)

I never banked on wanting her to make me feel. Instead of craving numbness, I yearned to feel and not the pain and suffering I was used to but the sweet agony of being inside her. It was ironic that she brought me pleasure, something foreign to me, and I brought her pain, something she came here last night looking to be freed from.

“Blackie, please look at me,” she pleaded.

“I’m done looking at you, Lace.”

As much as I was fixed on Lacey, I was nobody’s hero. I wasn’t some guy here to rescue her and take care of her. I was the kind of guy her father put a lot of effort into keeping her away from. I was the devil, and she was a goddamn angel.

I clipped her wings last night, and it was my job to fix that. I’d go talk to her, smooth shit over and tell her I was sorry for being a world class dick. The thought alone made me sick but severing the light she provided me with…that shit was vile.

I was fucked in so many ways and had no one to blame but myself…I wouldn’t blame it on the drugs either because I wasn’t a pussy like that.

Fucked beyond repair.

A dead man walking.

I grabbed my jeans, pulling them up my legs when my door opened and Wolf strode through.

“Put that shit away,” he said, tipping his chin towards my junk.

“Don’t you fucking knock?” I growled.

“You wouldn’t have answered,” he said pointedly, walking around my room and leaned against the desk. The fucking desk of all things, not the fucking dresser or the damn entertainment center…the goddamn desk.

“What do you want?” I said, pulling a T-shirt over my head.

“The Bulldog is AWOL, you know anything about that shit?”

“Yeah and so do you. Man’s gone off the radar on the same day, every year, for the last thirteen years,” I replied, crossing my arms against my chest.

“But he’s always back before the sun comes up,” he paused, his eyes pierced mine as he swallowed. “Tensions been rising around here. I’m not fucking blind, Black. I know you and the Prez got something brewing and the rest of us are here holding our dicks while you two figure out what that shit is,” he ground out, pushing off the desk and advancing towards me. “I’ve been around long enough to know when shit gets heavy, he starts to lose his battle with his mind. Someone’s gotta reel him back in and that someone’s always been you,” he added.

“He got himself a woman to do the reeling. In fact, lent her my truck yesterday so she could do just that,” I retorted.

“Pussy can’t shake the crazy, Black. Go get your fucking wheels back and while you’re at it, bring back our leader,” he demanded, leveling me with a stare.

I may rank higher than Wolf but he was the heart of our brotherhood, the glue that held us together when it started to wear. As fucking off the wall as he sometimes could be, he was also the guy who kept shit real around here.

The club didn’t know about Jimmy, they had no fucking clue he killed Jack’s brother or that we were playing the gangster. Jack had wanted to keep the club out of it, said this shit with Jimmy was personal and when the connection between the mobster and the G-Man came to light, I agreed with him. It was fucking personal as retribution and revenge usually are.

My self-destruction and my guilt over Lacey would have to take a backseat to the vow I made to my brotherhood. I was the vice president and it was my duty to be Jack’s eyes and ears, his voice when his cracked and his mind when it failed him. Restoring my angel’s wings and the light that radiated over her would have to wait.

The devil.

Here I am.

“I’m driving,” I muttered.

“Fuck that, I want to live to see the next piece of ass I bang,” he replied, twirling his keys around his finger. “You can ride bitch,” he said with a grin.

Fucking Wolf.

For a man who cared so much about living to fuck, he drove like a man looking to die. I closed my eyes like a pussy as he blew lights and swerved in and out of traffic. The crazy motherfucker didn’t drive a cage much but when he was behind the wheel his ass went fast and furious.

He pulled in front of Jack’s house, nodding towards the Bulldog’s bike that sat in the driveway and my truck parked behind it.

“At least Blondie kept your truck in one piece,” he commented.

I grunted, reaching for the door handle.

“Good luck,” he called as I climbed out of the car and slammed the door. I grabbed my balls and climbed the stoop, taking a deep breath as I pounded my knuckles against the door.

I closed my eyes, threw my game face on, because I was about to be the scumbag who looked my brother in the eye, the same friend who created my angel, and pretend like I didn’t destroy her.

He pulled the door open and glared at me.

“Now’s not a good time,” he hissed.

“Too fucking bad, gave you twenty-four hours to wallow in your shit,” I said, pushing past him and making my way into the house. The quicker I got a handle on him the quicker I could drag my ass to his ex-wife’s house and apologize to Lacey.

My eyes fell on Reina as she tugged her shirt down and looked away.

“See you found your man. Thanks for keeping my car in one piece,” I said, noticing the tears that streaked her face and turned to Jack. Looks like I wasn’t the only one fucking up women these days. “What the fuck did you do?”

“Mind your fucking business,” he barked.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, we don’t have time for a lovers fucking quarrel, brother,” I seethed. Fucking hearts, they were breaking everywhere.

“Take Reina home,” he ordered, ignoring me as he stared at Reina.

“I don’t need anyone to take me anywhere,” she replied.

For fuck’s sake.

“Either he drives you home or I do,” he demanded.

“Fine,” she hissed, turning toward me. “Give me a minute to grab my things.”

I blew out a breath, glancing back and forth between the two of them before nodding curtly.

“Five minutes,” I warned as I crossed my arms against my chest.

I watched on as she moved towards the stairs only for him to grab her arm and whisper some shit into her ear. She finally tugged her arm free and disappeared up the stairs leaving me alone with Jack. He stalked through the living room where the walls were long ago marked with holes from his fists punching through the Sheetrock in search of bugs he believed his brother planted when he became a Fed. He never plastered the walls, keeping the reminder of the menace his mind was and what drove him to insanity the day his son passed away.

He grabbed a pack of Marlboros off the dining room table and walked back into the living room.

“Got a light?” he asked, pushing the cigarette between his lips as he walked passed me to the front door.

Fresh air.

Good idea.

I took a seat next to him on the stoop and handed him a lighter in exchange for a cigarette. I studied his profile as he took a pull, searching for all the telltale signs of a breakdown but came up short. He appeared to be battling the war in his heart and not his head. Maybe pussy did shake crazy.

“You want to talk about that?” I questioned, looking over my shoulder.

“What’s the point? You probably know more about my actions than I do,” he muttered.

There was truth to that and the reason I was his vice president. I knew Jack and I knew his maker and for a long time I’ve been the one who merges them into one.

“Not talking about your breakdown, talking about your woman,” I commented, taking a drag. “I was wrong about her, you know,” I offered. I’ve never worked Jack down from old lady bullshit and was riding blind. Give me the manic shit. I’m all aces with that.

“How’s that?”

“Guess you didn’t listen to your messages yet,” I grunted, remembering the calls I placed to him before the mayhem and after the needle. Funny how his daughter was my mayhem and not the gangster who shot me up. “Gold came by the clubhouse unannounced,” I said, shaking my head, dismissing Lacey from my mind before turning and looking him in the eye.

Fucked up.

So fucked up.

“Gotta tell you man, you should probably wife that one,” I said seriously, as I blew out a ring of smoke. I actually meant what I was saying to him. I think it would do him some good to have a genuine person in his corner, someone that accepted him as he was and didn’t try to change him. Someone who loved him despite his mind. Someone who could learn to love even that part of him.

“She was there when Gold came by?” he asked, sounding irate. “Why the hell was she still there?”

Oh, that’s right. This asshole wanted me to take his girlfriend car shopping while he took a trip to crazyville. And me? I fucking agreed to it. I also agreed to make things right with Lacey if she came by.

Fucking idiot.

“What part of
unannounced
didn’t you comprehend?” I hissed. “It's fine, Jimmy thinks she’s just a club whore.”

It was probably best not to tell him I forced her on her knees and made her appear to be giving me head. Wow. Each memory was worse than the last.

“She didn’t ask questions, just did as I told her—but she saw some shit,” I added, looking out into the street and for the first time I tried to put myself in Jack’s shoes.  I wondered what ran through his head when he stared at the same street where his son laid as he took his last breath. It made me wonder why the fuck he didn’t sell this house and move the fuck away.

But then the answer came to me.

He kept the house for the same reason he left the holes in the walls, to remind him of who he was before he got help and when he’s tempted not to take his meds all he has to do is come here…it’s all the push he needs to do the right thing.

“What kind of shit?” He asked, pulling me away from his thoughts.

“Gold didn’t like I was the man delivering the product, said he didn’t trust me. As an act of good faith he forced me to sample the H,” I admitted, running my fingers through my hair. “Wifey saw me with a needle in my arm and didn’t run away, she just ran right to you.”

I turned over my arm and flicked my skin and the bruise that marked it.

“No sweat, just once, didn’t even leave much of a mark,” I lied, leaving out the second hit I took after I sent his daughter away crying.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let you deal with that prick by yourself,” he responded. “I’m making a mess of things, letting everything with Jimmy get the best of me for months now.”

“It’ll all be over soon,” I said.

“Even so, doesn’t make it okay,” he replied, cupping my shoulder. “You good?”

I had to look away from him, from the concern and guilt reflected in his eyes.

“I’m good,” I replied, clearing my throat. “Be better when these motherfuckers are off the streets.” I pulled down the sunglasses, masking my eyes as I turned back to him. “We will get them, right? We’re going to make Gold and the G-Man pay aren’t we?” I selfishly asked, needing his assurance, deserving nothing.

I needed to know we would end this nightmare. I needed to know G-Man could be stopped and finally pay for all the lives his drugs ruined and robbed. Mine. Christine’s. Those kids and all the faceless strangers we fed throughout Cain’s leadership.

“Yeah, brother, we are,” he swore.

The front door opened and Reina stormed out.

“If you’re taking me then let’s go…now,” she ordered.

Jack and I both stood at the sound of her voice. I started down the stairs as he climbed them and met her at the landing.

“Keys,” I called, waiting as she dug into her purse and threw them at me. I gave them a minute to say their goodbyes or whatever the fuck they were doing before Jack turned to me.

“Meet you back at the clubhouse,” he said, as I climbed into the truck and gave him a two-finger salute before closing my door. Reina slid into the passenger seat beside me, remaining silent as she stared at Jack through the windshield.

“Where to?” I asked, as I backed out of the driveway and turned onto the street.

“Take me to church,” she whispered.

Fucking, hell.

Chapter Four

I climbed out of my truck, slamming the door behind me as I stared back at the house, wishing I had something to numb me. I knew the minute my eyes locked with hers I’d be reminded of the piece of shit I was. There would be no light that greeted me, no pretty smile to warm me and make me wish for a better way. I turned out Lacey’s light and put pain in the pretty eyes of my angel.

I ran my fingers roughly through my hair as I walked up the few steps, wondering what the fuck I would do or say that could make this better. As I made my way toward the door I could hear the muffled sound of music—I paused, trying to make out the song when I noticed the door was slightly ajar. Instantly, I reached behind me, pulling my gun from the waistband of my jeans and aimed it at the door as I toed it open with my boot.

“Lacey?” I called as I stepped into the foyer, the barrel of my gun pointed straight ahead as I kicked the door closed behind me and followed the sound of music.

      I turned the corner, stepping into the living room and spotted her on the couch. She lifted her eyes to mine, wiping them with the back of her hands.