Lethal Temptations (Tempted #5) (7 page)

I lowered my gun as my feet paused mid stride and I took in her face. Her usually flawless skin was blotchy and her eyes were swollen from all the tears she shed. Girl, must’ve been crying for a while. I can’t remember ever seeing her cry and thank Christ for that because looking at her now was tearing me up inside.

I’m not the guy that dries tears and makes things okay. But right now? That’s the guy I want to be. I can’t fucking help myself when it comes to her. She makes me want to be all the things I’m not.

“I didn’t hear the door,” she mumbled, tipping her chin to the music playing from the surround sound.

“Door was open,” I said, walking closer to her.

Her legs were bare, and she was wearing an over-sized T-shirt, her hair fell in waves around her face, the loose strands fell into her eyes but she didn’t seem bothered, or even to notice.

I wish I never touched her.

I should’ve known once would never be enough.

I tucked my gun into the back of my pants, took a seat on the coffee table in front of her and lifted one of my hands to her face, brushing the hair away from her eyes before I cupped her chin and forced her to look at me.

“Don’t cry,” I said huskily.

She bit down on her lower lip and looked away so I wouldn’t see the tears shining in her eyes.

“I’m fine, Blackie,” she insisted. “I don’t need a babysitter.”

“That’s not why I’m here,” I rasped, bringing my other hand to her face and cupping her cheeks with my palms as I forced her to turn back to me.

She blinked at me but her eyes were blank.

I tore my gaze away from her as my eyes took another sweep around the room before finding hers again. I knew that look, seen it every time I went on a bender and looked at myself in the mirror afterwards. I shook my head, dismissing the thought. There was no way Lacey would do something like that.

My Lace was too pure for poison.

Not the manufactured kind.

Or the type standing before her, aching to touch her.

Something flickered in her eyes but she remained silent as she stared back at me. I swallowed, forcing the lump lodged in my throat down and pushed the dark thoughts that ran through my head away. I gently caressed her cheeks, noting the contrast in my skin compared to hers. My rough hands, covered in faded ink, slid over her soft, reddened cheeks. She reached up, wrapped her hands around my wrists and shoved my hands away from her.

“Go away,” she hissed, inching away from me before she slowly stood up.

My eyes traveled the length of her, taking in the shirt that barely covered her ass and left her long legs exposed, reminding me how they wrapped tightly around me last night.

“You don’t want that,” I said, tearing my eyes away from her legs as she turned.

“You have no idea what I want,” she retorted.

I shoved my hands into my pockets as I stared at her thoughtfully, trying to figure out what was going on inside her head and what the hell had become of my angel. Oh that’s right… me.

I did this.

“Tell me what you want,” I said, shrugging my shoulders even though I knew I was walking into a ring of fire. I’d give her anything.

Anything.

Just to see her smile.

“I want you to leave. I want you to turn around and walk out that door. I want you to forget about the reasons you came here and more than anything…” she paused, her eyes glanced around the room as she drew in a deep breath before finding their way back to mine.

“What?” I asked as I stood tall, taking a step closer to her. Then another.

Dangerous territory, man.

Fucking lethal.

“I want you to forget whatever you’re about to say,” she admitted, causing me to freeze mid stride. “Please,” she added.

Her pleas from the night before replayed in my head.

Look at me.

Do you see me, Blackie?

I wanted to see her, to know what she was hiding behind the smile she gave the world, the smile she gave me, the one I lived for.

Give me your smile, girl.

She continued to look at me with a tortured expression on her face, eyes like her father’s not just in color but in torment. I knew that look better than anyone, had seen it countless times but never in her. I’ve talked Jack off the edge, dragged him out of his head and silenced his maker but that was Jack.

This was Lace.

My angel.

And I was the reason she looked so conflicted. There was no maker to blame, just me.

Say it.

I see you.

“I see you, Lace,” I whispered.

“A lot a good that does me,” she said.

I shook my head.

“No good at all,” I affirmed as I extended my hand, taking hers and pulling her against me. “You’d be better off if I never laid eyes on you,” I added, squeezing her hand before I lifted my free one to her cheek. “Too late,” I hissed. “Cause girl, I see you and now I can’t fucking forget you,” I admitted.

The song changed on her iPod and music filtered through the speakers. I watched recognition spark in her eyes as she turned her attention to the speaker.

“Did you ever hear this song?” She asked softly, her voice blending into the music.

“No,” I said, taking a step toward her, bending my knees and bringing us to eye level. I leaned my forehead against hers, taking our joined hands and bringing them behind her to rest against the small of her back.

I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing but I couldn’t stop.

My lips grazed her temple as she pressed her body against mine, dropping our joined hands to wrap both her arms around my neck.

“Listen to the words,” she demanded.

You’re saying I’m fragile I try not to be

I search for something only I can’t see

“Will you dance with me?” Her voice pleaded as she whispered the question.

I learned then that even the toughest motherfuckers had weaknesses and mine was standing in front of me asking me to dance.

I didn’t fucking dance.

But now I did.

My feet surrendered my soul, taking the steps to bring me closer to her and give her what she needed. I’ve been feeding off her light for so long, taking the sweetness of her greedily because I’m addicted to the hope she sparks in me.

Hope that there was a shred of decency buried beneath the leather.

Repay her.

Give her back her wings.

Make it better.

Looking at her now, the selfish reasons that brought me here faded away and were replaced by the need to put her first.  To put her before me, to give her back her light and pull her from the sadness that had her crying in solitude.

Just this once I could do the healing and not the reaping.

My hands moved down her back, cupping her ass beneath the t-shirt that barely covered her and I rocked her against my body.

“Blackie,” she breathed.

“Lacey,” I groaned. “I didn’t come here for this,” I said, slipping my fingers beneath her lace panties.

“I know why you came here,” she said, pulling back a fraction as her gaze dipped to my lips. “But I will do everything I can to change your mind,” she promised.

It wouldn’t take much.

“Do you remember the first time we started calling each other Leather and Lace?”

Honest to God, I wish I did. I wish I remembered every goddamn thing about me and her, then maybe I’d understand why she even gave me a second glance. 

“No,” I said.

“It was the first time you took me up to see my dad and the first time I got you to smile,” she said as she continued to rest her head on my chest. “You had a chocolate shake waiting for me in the car and I forced you to take a sip,” she continued.

I vaguely remembered stopping at Carvel on the way to pick her up. Jack rarely allowed Lacey to be around the clubhouse but the few visits she made he had one of the guys rent an ice cream truck. Wolf would pass out ice cream cones all day and chocolate was her favorite. I improvised with the shake, an attempt to remind her of good memories of her father and not the shit one she was about to make visiting him in jail.

“I was trying to persuade you to have a taste, and in your ‘don’t fuck with me’ tone you called me Lace,” she reminded me.

“I see how well my ‘don’t fuck with me’ tone works on you,” I muttered as I pinched her ass then squeezed both cheeks again. What I wouldn’t give to bend her over and take that sweet cunt from behind.

She deserved better than that.

All the shit you see in the movies.

Things I’m not capable of doing.

“I’m not scared of you,” she pulled back, cocking her head to the side as her eyes bore into mine.

For the life of me I couldn’t figure out why.

“I never was nor will I ever be afraid of you, Leather,” she said, threading her fingers through my hair. “I probably should be and not for the reasons everyone else fears you,” she added, pausing a beat before she inched closer.

I need you to love me,

I need you today

Give to me your leather

Take from me my lace

“Foolish girl,” I whispered.       

“Shhh,” she said. “Let me hang on just a little more.”

But that time I saw you
I knew with you to light my nights

Somehow I’d get by

I didn’t say another word, and we both hung on, dancing to the song that seemed written just for us.

Leather.

Lace.

She pulled back slightly, brought her fingertips to my face before she leaned in and pressed her soft lips to mine. The instant her mouth was on mine I remembered the way she felt last night, how her inexperienced body eagerly arched into mine. I cupped her face with my hands, holding her still as my tongue swept across the seam of her lips, prying them apart. I felt her nails dig into the back of my neck as my tongue slid into her mouth tasting all she offered.

I came here to apologize for taking something I didn’t deserve. I came here with every intention to make things right with Lacey—being here with her in my arms I realize now that last night wasn’t going to disappear.  It’s always been easy to forget the consequences of my actions and give into temptation.

I broke the kiss to look at her because looking at her was almost as intoxicating as touching her. Her eyes fluttered open, her lips swollen and wet, pursed as she brought her hands from around my neck to rest on my chest.

“I can feel your heart beat,” she said, lifting her eyes back to mine. “The only thing that makes me a foolish girl is wishing it’ll beat for me one day,” she murmured.

What the fuck was I supposed to say to that?

I bit the inside of my cheek and stopped myself from saying all the things she wanted to hear, knowing every promise that left my lips would be a lie.

It’s a good dream.

To think this heart inside of me is alive and able to beat for someone else but a dream is all it is. I used to be that guy, the one who keeps a woman, loves her with everything he’s got and everything he’ll ever be. I had love, cherished it until I destroyed it. It don’t matter how much I wish I can resurrect the man I used to be, or how much the girl before me deserves a man like that, that guy is dead and buried and won’t rise again.

My phone rang inside my pocket, forcing me out of my head and into the present. I let her go, immediately feeling the loss of her in my arms, and reached into my pocket to pull out my phone.

I stared down at the screen and the name of the man who was calling.

And just like that the dream shattered.

“I’ve got to go,” I hissed, silencing my phone before I shoved it back into my pocket.

She nodded, tucking her hair behind her ears as she took a step back.

“Hey,” I said, placing my forefinger under her chin. “No more tears,” I added.

She stared at me for a moment before nodding.

“No more tears,” she repeated.

“Girl, ain’t nobody worth your tears don’t you forget that,” I lectured. “Nobody,” I reiterated.

I should’ve left it at that but I wrapped an arm around her waist and dragged her body against mine. I bent my head, claiming that mouth of hers one more time, knowing the taste of her would linger on my tongue and drive me crazy.

“Sure as hell not me,” I rasped against her lips.

I finally pulled away, turning around and willed myself towards the door. I cursed myself for coming here, for touching her, for walking away from her…for everything.

“Blackie,” she called out.

Fucking hell.

My hair fell over my eye as I turned my head and glanced over my shoulder at her.

“Thank you for not taking it back,” she said hoarsely.

I narrowed my eyes in confusion, thought about asking her what she meant by that but left it alone, letting us both hang onto the dream of Leather and Lace for a little while longer.

I turned around, walked out the door, closing it behind me before I banged my head against it.

Give me a dire situation, a rival club looking to fuck with my brothers and I’ll take every one of them out. Give me a motherfucking gangster and let me bring him to his knees. Give me an addiction, and I’ll function. Give me a shitload of grief and I’ll push through it. Give me a tombstone with my wife’s name and I’ll bring flowers every Saturday.

Fuck, give me Jack in the middle of a debilitating breakdown and I’ll bring him back.

But don’t give me this.

Don’t give me Lacey.

Don’t make me want to do right by her when all I know is wrong.

Don’t give me Lacey when I’ll never be able to keep her.