Letters of Love (Green Division Series Book #3) (7 page)

*****

Aubrey felt bad after Asshole left.  She didn’t mean it.  Well, okay, she meant it, but she didn’t mean to say it out loud.
“Oh, calm down Gunny, I know you’re excited.”  Gunny was ready to ride.  He hadn’t been exercised outside the ring for nearly a week.  Aubrey got ready to mount him when Asshole’s pickup truck pulled into her drive, again.
What the hell does he want now?
Asshole parked his truck in front of the barn and walked over to the ring.  
“I forgot my sunglasses.”  He knelt down and picked them up from the ground.
“You drove all the way out here for a pair of sunglasses?”
“They aren’t dollar store sunglasses.”  Asshole rested them atop of his head.  
“I’m sorry I called you an asshole.”  Aubrey went back to saddling Gunny to hide her reddened face.
“Don’t worry, I have my own nickname for you.”  
“It must be bitch.”  
“No.”  Gunny nuzzled his nose against Mike’s hand.  
“Well, out with it.”  Aubrey was curious now.  If it wasn’t bitch, it’d better not be the other name she was thinking.
“Why don’t I call you Aubrey, you call me Ben, and we drop the pet names.”
“Not until you tell me what my nickname is.  You know my pet name for you.”
“Let bygones be bygones.”
“When you tell me, it will be a bygone.”
“It was angel.”  He smiled.
“What a line of bullshit.”  She mounted Gunny.  “Even Gunny couldn’t drop a pile of shit that deep.”
“Very eloquent.”
“I never said I was a lady.  If you’ll excuse me,
BEN
, I’m going to exercise my very impatient horse.”
“What about Trixie?”
“I’ll take her out later.  I only have one ass, so one horse at a time.”
“You do have a second ass at your disposal.”  Ben froze.  “That came out wrong.”  
He’s offering me his ass?
“I will leave that alone and thank you for the offer...I think.”
“I know where the saddles are, I’ll go grab one and save you some time.”
“You know how to ride?”
“I guess you’ll see.”  He smiled at her and walked toward the barn.  It was an honest smile, sincere.  And she didn’t trust it.
“Ben, no, you don’t have to.”  She tried to stop him, but he was on a mission.
What is he doing?

*****

What are you doing?
 
Ben thought to himself.  He’d returned to her house to pick up his $200 Oakley’s.  That was a legitimate reason.  Then he’d volunteered his “ass” to help exercise her horses.   Ben wouldn’t dissect his feelings for her.  He wasn’t a woman.  Men don’t do that.  
“I could have exercised Gunny in the amount of time it’s taken you to saddle her.”  
“It’s been five minutes.”  Ben continued his task.  “You’re welcome.”
“Um, thanks?”  
Ben mounted Trixie and sat confidently.
“So you know how to ride?”
“A little.”
“How?”
“My uncle had working horses when I was a kid.  I learned to ride through trial and error.”
“Does your uncle still have horses?”
“No, he passed away many years ago.”  
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright.”
Toad nudged Gunny toward the open fence.  
“Why are you being nice to me all of a sudden?”
“I didn’t ever intend on being mean.”  But Ben had been.  So had she.  
“Come on.”  She cocked her head back to look at him.  “Neither of us like one another, so why all of a sudden are you being somewhat pleasant?”
“Just somewhat?  I thought I’ve been pretty damn pleasant.”
“Whatever level of pleasantness you want to call it, why?”
“Can’t we just be friends?”  Ben said in an overdramatized tone.  
“You, BEN, are an ass.”  Gunny took off across the field.  Ben pushed Trixie, chasing after her.  
Though Ben tried to catch her, Gunny was faster and she was a better rider.  When they reached the edge of the field, she eased Gunny down to a walk.  
“I’d like to start over,” Ben said. Their dynamic as it were, was awkward.  He’d been wanting to say that since their last lesson.  
“Start over?”  Aubrey played with her windblown hair.
“As in, wipe the slate clean of everything before Tiffy’s first lesson.  Forget it, like didn’t happen.”
“My driving record and burned down bakery are evidence to the contrary.”
“You are the type who holds a grudge, huh.”  
She is going to be impossible.
“To change to a less playful topic.”  She walked Gunny toward the barn, Trixie followed without Ben’s order.  “She wants to enter a competition, but you guys haven’t told me when you’d like her to.  Has the doctor given any sort of, um, timeline?”
Ben’s playfulness evaporated instantly.
“Within the year.”  
“What are her symptoms?”
“Dizziness, blurred vision, nausea, headaches.”
“You’d never know she was sick.”
“She hides a lot of it.  She’s a tough kid.  Too tough I think sometimes.”
“She’s a good kid.”
“She’s an amazing girl.”  Ben looked straight ahead.
“There is a competition in six weeks.  I think that’s when we should enter her.”
“Okay.”  Ben didn’t want to discuss Tiffy’s illness.  It brought out too many emotions he didn’t want to discuss.  He cleared his throat.  “Back to what I was originally saying, can we start over?”
Toad looked at him apprehensively.
“My name is Ben Anderson.  Yours is?”
“Aubrey Devlin.”
“I’d shake your hand, but I don’t want to fall off the horse.  Instead I’ll say it’s a pleasure to meet you, Aubrey,” Ben said very chivalrously.
 
Aubrey.  That does have a better ring than Toad.   Aubrey.
She laughed.  “Aren’t you quite a gentleman.”
“Once you get to know me, you’ll see that I am.”   
“If I get to know you,” Aubrey corrected.  
“Fresh start,” Ben reminded.
“Right.”  Aubrey wasn’t as convinced as Ben.

*****

Aubrey sipped on a glass of red wine.
 
Ben.  
His name is
Ben, no
t
Asshole.  
That adjustment would take a while to get used to.  At the very least from their situation, she wouldn’t have to worry about traffic tickets from him any longer.  Next time she saw him parked on the side of the road she might be tempted to hammer down and flip him off as she whizzed by.  She laughed to herself.
“Ba-enh.  Bay-en-ha.”  She playfully enunciated his name.  “Arshole.”  That one rolled off her tongue so much better.  Pushing her thoughts of Ben’s odd behavior aside, she studied the plans she’d drawn up on the computer.  The thoughts of rebuilding instantly gave her a headache with all the work it would be.  She needed more wine.
 

CHAPTER TEN
Aubrey squeezed time in for Tiffy to have two lessons a week minimum.  Three weeks had passed.  Three more to go to until the horse show.  
“Aubrey, can we go for a ride outside the ring?”
“Do you want to work on your cantering?”
“I want to talk wid you.”  
Wid.  
Tiffy had some funny ways of pronouncing words.
“Sure.”
“Uncle Ben, we’re going to take the horses out to the field.”  Tiffy yelled over to him.  Ben gave her a thumbs up and walked toward his truck.  
“I wanted to talk at you.”
“Talk at me about what?”  Aubrey loved her phrases.  Talk at, not with.
“You’re like my best friend.”
Aubrey’s heart dropped.  “Tiffy, you’re such a sweet girl.  You’re one of my besties too.”
“You don’t treat me like they all do.  Mom, Dad, Uncle Ben, all of my family.”
“What do you mean?”  Aubrey stopped Gunny and Trixie followed suit.
“They don’t think I know what’s going on ‘n I don’t know what’s happening to me.  I know what dying means and I know I am dying.”  
Aubrey’s heart stopped beating. Tiffy was broaching a subject no adult wanted to have with a child.
“But, I also know that I’m going to be okay.  There’s a place for me with Bamby Ken up in Heaven, so I’m not scared.  I’ll be okay.  But, they all look at me like...like...like...”  Her little eyes watered.  “You’re the only one who treats me normal.  That’s all I want, to be normal. They look at me like I’m gone.  I’m still here.”
“Oh sweetie.”  Aubrey choked.  She hopped down from Gunny, helped Tiffy off the horse, and held her in her arms.  “You know they don’t mean to treat you any differently.  They love you very, very, very much.”
“I know.” She put her arms around Aubrey’s neck and leaned her little head against her. “But sometimes...”  She sniffed.  “I feel like I’ve lost them.  They aren’t the same.”
“It’s hard for them too sweetie.  They’re doing the best they can.  You need to cut them a little slack, they are trying.”
Tiffy cried quietly.  Aubrey did the same, it was a chain effect.
“Do you want me to come with you and we can talk to your family together?”
“No.”  She pulled back from Aubrey’s embrace.  “It’s okay.”
“I will if you want me to.”
“It will make them sad.”
“You won’t hurt them.”
“It will.  You understand me.”
Aubrey nodded her head.  She understood too well.
“Then that’s all I need.  Someone understands.  And we can talk ‘bout this stuff.”
“We can talk anything anytime you want to.”  Aubrey leaned down and kissed her forehead.  “But I think we should talk to them about it too.”
“Pinky promise me you won’t say nothin’.”  Tiffy held out her little finger.   “Please, pretty please Aubrey.”
“I promise.”  Aubrey shook her little pinky finger.
“Especially Uncle Ben.”
She hugged her again and then put her down.   “I know you don’t want to talk to them, but you should hun.  They love you.”
“I know they do.  And that’s enough.”  She tried to smile.  “Uncle Ben said you work in the children’s hospital.”
“I work with sick kids.”
“Like me.”
Aubrey boosted Tiffy onto the horse.  “You look pretty fit and able to me kiddo.”
“I’m ready to ride again.  I like riding.”  Tiffy got comfortable
“I do too.”
They casually trotted about the field then turned to go back to the ring.  Her and Tiffy had formed a bond in the short time they’d known one another.  Kindred spirits.

*****

From a distance, Ben saw them dismount.  They stood behind the horses, so he couldn’t see what was taking place.  He assumed it must be some sort of wildlife.  He tried not to assume the worst, which was the conclusion he usually drew from most questionable situations.
“So Monday?”  Tiffy reached up and held Aubrey’s hand.
“It’s a date.”  Aubrey walked her to the truck.
“Same time?” Ben asked.
“After she gets out of school is perfect.”  
“Later Aubrey.”  Tiffy let go of her hand and bailed into the truck.  Ben walked around, started the truck, and cranked the A/C.
Ben closed the door and leaned against the hood.  “Is everything okay with Tiffy?” he said lowly.  Ben detected her mellowed out mood.
“I think so.”  
Tiffy rolled down the window.
“Uncle Bennnnn, I’m hungry.  Can we stop for ice cream?”
“I could go for an ice cream.”
“I want a twist.”  She leaned out the window.
“You’re sure?”  Ben asked Aubrey.
Aubrey nodded her head.  Ben felt confident she would tell him if it was something he needed to know.  He waved to Aubrey and they left.
After Ben dropped Tiffy off at home, he got suited up to pick up an overnight shift.  It was Memorial Day weekend, a fun rousing time to be a State Trooper.  Drunk kids, fireworks, and domestics.  Ben loved it.  Yeehaw.

*****

“Aubrey!”  Taylor burst through the door.
“Well hello to you too.” Aubrey said surprised at her friend’s appearance.
“You didn’t answer your phone.”  Taylor came inside, Jill on her heels.
“We’re going out babe, you coming?”  Jill looked stunning and would turn heads wherever they went.
“I’m looking forward to crashing on the couch watching me some Tivoed American Idol.”  
“You’ve turned into a hermit.”  Taylor pouted.  “She’s been spending an awful lot of time with that trooper.  Ben, right?”  
“I’m giving his niece lessons.”
“You like him!”  Jen accused.  
“Where the hell did you pull that out of your ass?”  Aubrey turned around shocked.
“We know you.”  Taylor grabbed Aubrey’s shoulders.  “Tell us with a straight face that you don’t like him.”
“He’s an okay guy, but I don’t like him like that.”
“Did you see her bite her lip?”  Jill asked Taylor.
“I saw it.  You only do that when you are lying.”
“I’m not lying.  Just because the man stands around while I give Tiffy lessons doesn’t mean I’m in love.  Jesus guys, get a grip.”
“Oahh, she does like him.”  Jill smiled.
“You two...”  Aubrey smiled.
“Look at the smile!”  Jill pointed.
“Stop it!”  Aubrey pushed her shoulder.  “I said he’s okay, but I don’t like him
like him
.  I can tolerate him.”
“Mhm.  Then come out with us tonight and try to find yourself a man.”  Jill said.
“I’m not in the mood for going out.”
“Because she already has a man.”  Taylor winked.
“
I need to work on the plans for the bakery.  I meet with the contractor Monday afternoon before work.”
“Mhmm.  Nice excuse.”
“You two go, have fun, behave.   If you end up needing a DD, give me a call, though I prefer you not need one.”
“When do you see him again?”  
“I’ll see
THEM
on Monday.”
“Report back to us with any juicy details.”
“Right, I’ll jump right on him and have my way with him in front of Tiffy.  Jesus you two.”
“She’s awfully defensive.”  Jill nudged Taylor.
“Like a guilty person, overcompensating.  And hanging out with him on a holiday.  That’s serious.”
Aubrey pushed them out of the door.  “Bye guys, have fun.”
Jesus, they couldn’t be any more wrong.  A
sshole—Ben and her had become “friends” because of Tiffy.  They weren’t friends, not really.  They didn’t socialize outside of the lessons...well, except for that one time when he came back to get his sunglasses...but that didn’t count, nope.  They didn’t talk on the phone, or text.  It was strictly business.  Taylor and Jill were very, very, VERY wrong indeed.
Aubrey pulled out the plans the contractor had drawn up.  They would break ground within the month once she approved his proposal.  The contractor was one Ben suggested in passing and gave her the best price of all the contractor’s she’d checked.  Again, that was something “friends” would talk about, nothing more.