Letting Go (13 page)

That was how Devlin found them. He had just come home from work and had been on his way to his room when he heard their quiet voices. Seeing that Casey had left her room pleased him but he was more surprised to find her in such close proximity to the child she had clearly wanted to avoid during her stay. Isabel was sitting in between Casey’s outstretched legs, her back to the young woman whose long, nimble fingers were twisting and coiling the little girl’s soft curls into the same style he had often seen her wear while her mother was still alive. Isabel put her hands down on each of Casey’s knees to support herself as she sat with a straight back and upwardly tilted chin. Devlin saw Casey glance at the two small hands on her knees but she didn’t do anything about it. An idea took root in his mind as he watched the sight and a smile spread across his features. It stayed with him as he moved on to his own room.

***

Peter Caulfield stepped out of his car and hurried across the driveway to the shelter. The blustery wind followed him into the shelter as he opened the door. He pulled it closed and then turned to scan the waiting area. It was quiet. “Hello?” he shouted.

Seconds later, Jonas walked through the swing door, his arms wet and soapy. He stopped when he saw Peter. “Senator Caulfield,” he chirped.

“Hey Jonas, how are you?” He extended his hand.

Jonas quickly wiped his hands on his jeans and then shook Peter’s hand. “Fine sir, how are you?”

“Good. I believe you have some adoption papers that my wife left behind when she picked up Gomer last week?”

“Yeah, yeah, right. How’s he doing?” Jonas asked as he made his way around the counter and rifled through some papers on the desk.

“Good. Settling right in.”

Jonas nodded politely as he continued his search. “I’m sorry. Casey’s usually the one who takes care of the paperwork,” he muttered.

“Where is she today?” At his question, Jonas hesitated as he tried to figure out what to say.

“Um, she’s out of town. Family emergency,” he said, sticking to the truth as closely as possible.

“Everything all right?” At the concern in his voice, Jonas almost smiled. If Casey had been here she would have been a puddle on the floor by now. Jonas had always known that Caulfield had a soft spot for Casey but she had never believed it. Oh, if only he could tell the Senator the truth and then maybe he could magically set everything to rights.

“Yeah, fine. Nothing major. Ah, found `em. Here you go.” He handed the papers to Peter.

“Thanks Jonas. Please give Casey my regards when you hear from her, okay?”

“Will do.”

Peter dropped some money in the donation jar on the counter and left the shelter. Jonas reached for the glass jar and held it up. Among the few pennies and dimes, were several one hundred dollar bills. Jonas smiled. A soft spot for animals seemed to run in both father and daughter. He put the jar back down and went back to work.

When the knock came on her door that afternoon, Casey had been near her breaking point. She’d confined herself to her room for nearly a week in order to avoid contact with Devlin and even the tall stack of books on her nightstand and her few short visits with Isabel and Ryan weren’t enough to keep her from going stir crazy. Hating herself for her own fear of having to confront Devlin again, Casey just couldn’t force herself to leave the safety of her prison. So when she opened the door to find Devlin on the other side, a mix of irritation and relief went through her. She didn’t say anything and she didn’t invite him in. He didn’t care.

“I have a proposition for you Miss Wilkes,” he said stiffly as he moved past her into the room.

“We had an agreement Mr. Prescott.”

He ignored her and continued. “I’ve been thinking about what you said about wanting to have a job while you’re here and I believe I have come up with a solution.” Moving to the window, he stared out of it as he assumed a business like posture with his arms behind his back, his hands clasped together. Casey remained by the open door but a glint of curiosity shone in her eyes. “Since all of this happened with Amanda, I haven’t had the time to seek a suitable replacement to care for the children. Are you interested?”

“You want me to be your nanny?” she asked in obvious shock. He turned to face her.

“It would be temporary of course. In the meantime, I would be able to do a prolonged search for the ideal candidate.”

Casey bristled at his use of the word “ideal.” Clearly, this was yet another task he believed she wouldn’t excel in. “How much does it pay?”

Devlin hid his smile at the tone of her voice. He knew she wasn’t interested in the money but he had offended her so she had to retaliate somehow. “Room and board plus three thousand dollars a month. You will also have use of a car and an adequate expense fund to use as you see fit in caring for the children.”

She wanted nothing more than to throw the offer back in his face but the boredom she’d suffered this past week wouldn’t let her off that easy. “Four thousand,” she responded just so he wouldn’t have the upper hand.

“Fine.” He moved past her and out the door but then he stopped and turned to face her. “I’ll be going out of town tomorrow to take care of some business and will to be gone at least a week. I expect your presence at dinner tonight so that we can go over the rules.” With that order, he was gone. Casey closed the door and leaned back against it. She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He was leaving for a week, maybe more. No uncomfortable confrontations or prying questions or questioning stares! But she had also just increased her amount of exposure to the children that were already tugging at the damaged strings of her heart. She shook the thought from her head. It didn’t matter. It was work – it was something that would make the days go by faster. Anything that could make this nightmare end that much sooner had to be worth the risk, right?

***

Devlin was already gone by the time Casey woke up the next morning. Her meeting with him the night before had been brief and to the point. He had outlined, in writing no less, all the rules the children were expected to follow and the manner in which he expected her to conduct herself while caring for them. She had merely nodded her head without a response and left the room. The piece of paper in which he had meticulously spelled out his instructions had been crumpled up by the time she had reached her bedroom. The only item of interest to her had been Ryan’s fear of cars. He hadn’t been in once since her sister’s murder. She had wondered why the little boy was being home schooled and why he never went to any activities outside the house. Devlin had indicated that he believed the child would be fine if left alone and given time to deal with the issue on his own. But Casey knew better and she was already formulating a plan of attack.

***

Casey and Isabel were already dressed in their coats and mittens by the time Ryan rushed down the stairs. He went to the coat closet and pulled on his jacket. “Can we build a snowman?” he asked.

“Maybe later,” responded Casey as she went out the front door followed by the two children as well as Sampson. Outside, she made her way down the walkway towards the brightly painted yellow taxicab parked on the curb. She pulled open the door and got in. Isabel and the dog climbed in after her.

“Where are we going?” chirped Isabel.

Casey’s eyes were on Ryan who had stopped about thirty feet from the cab. Pure terror was written all over his face. “Nowhere honey,” Casey said quietly to Isabel as she scooted past her and got out of the cab. She told Isabel and Sampson to stay put and then went to Ryan’s side. “Ryan, are you okay?”

Only a strangled sound managed to make its way out of the little boy’s frozen mouth. “Ryan, I know you’re real scared but there’s nothing to be afraid of, okay?” When he didn’t say anything, she gave his hand a squeeze.

“Isabel and Sampson and me are just gonna sit in the car for a while, okay? You can stay out here if you want or you can go back inside.” Casey forced herself to release his hand and went back to the car. Several seconds passed before she watched Ryan turn and hurry back to the house. She wasn’t at all surprised.

“Where to lady?” asked the driver.

“Nowhere.”

“What do you mean nowhere?” he asked in irritation.

“I mean, we just want to sit here,” she responded calmly as if it was a normal thing to do.

“Look lady, I ain’t got time for this.”

Casey reached into her pocket and pulled out a one hundred dollar bill. “This should cover it.”

“Sure lady, whatever you want,” responded the man when he saw the money.

Casey turned to Isabel who was completely confused. “Isabel, I’m gonna need your help, okay?” When the little girl nodded, Casey continued. “Ryan’s real scared to get in a car so we’ve got to show him that there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

Isabel looked across Casey to the outside of the car. “But he’s not watching.”

“Maybe not but he will. So we have to show him how much fun being in a car can be, okay? Can you help me?” At the girl’s emphatic nod, Casey smiled and said, “Good. Now, since Christmas isn’t that far off, why don’t we practice some Christmas carols?”

“Okay.” And so it began.

***

Devlin got out of the limousine and scanned the property. He wondered if Casey would be impressed with all the improvements that had already been made to the shelter and grounds. The shelter had a new roof as did the barn and the outdoor kennels. The kennel gates had been repaired and those that had been covered in rust had been replaced. The barn had new siding and he could see that even now the repair team was working on replacing the rotted fence around the paddock. Even Casey’s house had a new coat of paint and bright new shingles. His money had done well so far.

It had been hard to leave her alone when she had confined herself to her room. On several occasions he had found himself heading towards her room with the intention of forcing her to rejoin the living but each time he did he would remember the tears he had made her shed that night in the kitchen.  But seeing her reach out to Isabel had given him an idea – a way to hopefully draw her out. He had no doubt about her ability to care for the children – she was a natural at it but he knew her stubbornness could be an issue so he had spent hours creating a ridiculous list of “rules” for her to use with the children. He went a step further and created this fake business trip so she wouldn’t have to worry about avoiding him. It was a risk to manipulate her in this way but his gut told him that Isabel and Ryan could reach her in a way he probably never could and she deserved to feel that unconditional, innocent love that children give. But she needed time away from him so he had flown to Seattle to check on a new startup his company was eyeing.  Stopping in Ashland on the way back was spontaneous and he suspected Jonas would be less than welcoming.

Devlin went inside the shelter and found a lobby with new tile and wallpaper. As soon as he walked over the threshold, a bell went off to indicate his presence. Jonas appeared within moments and came to a halt when he saw who his visitor was. Devlin inwardly smiled when he recalled the last time he had been in this exact same spot with Jonas. Did he actually miss that damn dog?

“Mr. Prescott.” The boy was clearly stunned to see him. “Oh my God, is Casey all right? What happened?”

“She’s fine.” He saw Jonas take a deep breath as relief spread through his tense body. The love in the boy’s eyes was clear but Devlin knew now he had made a mistake in assuming the nature of the relationship between the two was sexual. What Jonas felt for Casey went beyond the physical. He wondered what bound the two so closely together. A pang of envy went through him but he didn’t want to take the time to ponder it. “I’ve come to see you Jonas. Can I interest you in some lunch?” The boy gave him a suspicious look.

“Um, I really shouldn’t leave the shelter in the middle of the day. You know, potential clients and all.”

“Of course, I understand.”

Jonas waited but Devlin didn’t continue and he didn’t move. He could see why Casey had been so intimidated by the man. His presence seemed to control the entire room. “I was actually just gonna grab a bite to eat in the house. The guys you hired rigged the bell for the shelter door to go off in the house too so we can still hear if someone stops by.” Jonas knew he was babbling but his jumbled nerves made the words just keep coming. If the man hadn’t come here to give him bad news about Casey, that meant he wanted only one thing – information.

“That would be fine.”

Jonas nodded awkwardly and led Devlin out of the shelter.

***

The week had gone by much slower than Casey had expected in Devlin’s absence. Not sure what to make of that, Casey made her way to the third level of the townhouse to where Ryan was having his lesson with Mr. Sterling, the tutor Devlin had hired. She had expected that the little boy would have been given the day after Thanksgiving off from his lessons but his stiff lipped tutor had arrived at the usual time. Of course, she had also expected Devlin to return home in time for the holiday but at least he had called and spoken with the children for a few minutes. His parents had shown up and cooked a hearty feast for the children. Ryan and Isabel had done their best to enjoy it but the lack of Devlin’s presence seemed to deflate any of the joy they should have had for the holiday. Even his parents had been decidedly quiet. After the dinner had come to an end, Ryan had disappeared to finish his homework for the next day’s lessons and Isabel had uncharacteristically played alone in her room.

Casey’s thoughts returned to Ryan’s tutor. She had met the crusty old man earlier in the week and hadn’t been impressed. In his late sixties and with a list of credentials as long as her arm, the man had seemed like the least likely candidate to be teaching a seven year old. But Ryan never complained about the teacher and he put every effort into completing the heavy load of homework heaped on his young shoulders each afternoon. To Casey’s irritation, Ryan barely had time to play outside or join her and Isabel in a board game. She knew the little boy wasn’t working so hard to please his teacher – he wanted to make his clueless father proud.

She’d made some progress with her morning cab lessons. In fact, Ryan was coming along more quickly than she had expected. He had started out by watching them from his own second floor bedroom window and then from the living room window. This morning, he had made it outside and sat on the front stoop. Casey had left the door to the cab open so he could see the fun she, Isabel and Sampson were having. The longing on his face was clear but he was still terrified. Several times, Casey had started to doubt her tactics but she forced herself to follow her instincts. It would just take time. Repairing any kind of damage to the soul just took time. There were no easy fixes.

When she reached the third floor and came to a stop outside the classroom door, Casey put her ear against the wood.

“How do you expect me to explain your stupidity to your father Ryan?” came the muffled voice inside. “Do you think a man like your father respects someone who can’t keep up? Who refuses to do the work? No, I think your father will be as disappointed in you as I am.” Not even waiting to see if Ryan had a response, Casey pushed open the door.

“What’s going on here?”

The old man looked up at her with clear loathing. “Miss Wilkes, I have asked you not to interrupt us during a lesson.”

“Is that what you call it?” she asked, forcing her voice to remain calm. Her eyes went to Ryan who refused to even look at her. He wasn’t crying but it was clear from his trembling lip that he was close to his breaking point. “Ryan, why don’t you go see if Isabel and Mrs. Potter have lunch ready?”

“We are not finished with this lesson Miss Wilkes. Once Ryan puts forth the effort to learn the material, then he may eat. Until then, please don’t interrupt us again.”

“Ryan, go on now. It’s all right,” she assured as the boy looked at her doubtfully. Her frigid eyes never left the man standing haughtily in front of her. The little boy crept passed Mr. Sterling and ran out of the room.

“Mr. Prescott will be hearing about this young lady. Your interference will not be tolerated.”