Letting Go of Us (Anchored Hearts Vol. 3) (20 page)

“
Right-O.”

We were playing Texas
hold-em and Delaney was out of cash. She upped the ante and started
propositioning Smith. “I don’t know why you bother. You can have me
any way you want me. You know that Laney!” It was the first time I
remember him referring to her as Laney and not Delaney.

Smith folded and so did
James, I had been out long before that. Delaney pulled what was
left of the pot to her side of the table, the smile of victory all
over her face, as James dealt another hand.

I had two queens in my
hand, with another queen and a pair of sevens in the flop. Full
house, queens high! James and I were the only ones left and we both
raised until I was out of chips.

“
You raising or calling?”
His green gaze gave nothing away.

My cards covered my mouth
as I attempted to return his icy stare. “We could always make it a
little more interesting.” His eyes got big for a split second as
Delaney suppressed a chuckle. Smith pushed himself back in his
chair and got comfortable, awaiting the show.

“
How so?” He was
challenging me and I debated about how far I was willing to take
it.

I focused on the friends
on each side of me, my man across from me deciding distraction was
my best tactic. I grabbed my phone, leisurely scrolled through it
and put on
Eyes On Fire
by Blue
Foundation
.

“
You’re stalling. Not
confident?”

“
Oh, baby, I’m confident.”
I wanted to see if he really did learn to listen to the lyrics.
He’d left me wanting more all week, it was my turn.

Smith was grinning from ear
to ear, “This just got very interesting. Fair warning, Cass. He’s a
sore loser.”

“
Hmm…sore is just what I
had in mind.” I looked him dead in the eyes as he fought the smile
trying to break across his supple lips.

“
I’m waiting. Bet away,
Blackbird. You can’t scare me.”

Even then, I couldn’t
believe I was about to do it. He’d let a secret escape without
meaning to and it was one of few things I remembered from that
night. “If I win,” I looked to Smith, Delaney and back to him, “I
get to be the first…”

“
Honey, I don’t have any
‘firsts’ left.” He let his man-bun down and ran his fingers through
his hair. It was his turn to distract me.

“
I wasn’t finished.” He
leaned back in his chair and waved his hand at me. “I get to be the
first to tie you up.”

The room went silent, only
the song filling the air. My cheeks were burning and I could see
Smith and Delaney staring us both down, waiting to see what his
response would be. He’d said that night at the cabin he’d never
been tied up. I played my ‘ace’ so to say and waited for his move.
He looked at his cards again, examining them, the river and me
keenly.

“
I’m waiting, JB3. Or
should I call you Beast?”

Delaney was ready to fall
over with laughter as Smith concluded, “She’s beat you at your own
game, Benedict. You either lied that night and confess to that now,
or raise the stakes.”

“
I don’t need your help,
Smith.” He looked to Delaney as she gave him the bird when he told
her to zip it. “I accept your bet, on one condition.”

“
What’s that, because I
fully intend to see this through, tonight.”

He leaned over the table
and brought his mouth to my ear so only I could hear. Breathing
heavily against my neck, a chill ran down my back. He whispered,
“You can’t have sex with me. Doctor’s orders.” He sat back down and
smiled at me.

“
Oh, I didn’t have any
intention of doing that.” He licked his lips as I smirked at him.
“So, you’re accepting defeat? There’s nothing you want from me if
you win?”

Delaney and Smith looked
like bobble heads as they watched us play out our game. “If I win,
we shred the divorce papers and have a proper wedding.” My heart
stopped as I felt like I was about to suffocate. “One you
deserve.”

“
Oh, snap.” I darted my
eyes to Delaney who mumbled, “Sorry. I’ll hush.”

My brain started firing
off and I couldn’t stop it. Did he know he had a winning hand or a
losing hand? Was he fucking with me? What the FUCK? I pictured
myself walking down the aisle in a white ball gown.
Knock it off, Cassidy.
Was he just offering something he knew he couldn’t give
me?

“
Breathe,
Cassidy.”

I took in a breath as
Delaney handed me my water. I took a swig and pushed my crazy
thoughts aside. “Accepted. Show ‘em.”

“
Ladies first.”

Damn him! “You’re a jerk.”
I laid my cards down and wondered who I wanted to win more. Who did
he want to win?

“
Boom! Full house,
Benedict.”

James looked at the cards I
laid down and dropped his, face down, to the table. “Congrats. You
win.”

“
Ahhhhaaaahhhaaaa!” I
stood up and did a little dance. “I win!” Smith was laughing at me
as Delaney swiped James’ cards and looked at them. She gave him an
odd look as I asked, “What is it?”

She threw the cards in the
pile and said, “Nothing. You won. Nicely played.” She turned her
eyes back to him, “Time to pay up, James.” I continued dancing
around the table like a jerk, boasting in my glory.

“
Well, I’d say it’s time
for us to leave.” I frowned at Smith as he and Delaney gathered
their belongings. He looked to James and said, “Have fun, brother.”
James just nodded at him as we walked them out.

“
Call me!”

“
Will do, Laney.” She
winked and then slid on to the back of Smith’s bike, latching her
arms around him.

Walking back inside, James
headed straight to the table and put the deck of cards away. I
watched him clean as I debated my next move. Could I really tie him
up and
not
have
sex with him? Probably not. Maybe he really was leery of the whole
thing. I was an ass.

“
Hey, I’m sorry. If it’s a
hard limit for you, I’ll take it back.”

He stood to his full height
and turned to gaze at me. Slowly, he closed the distance between
the two of us as I became increasingly more nervous. What had I
done? His hands each circled a wrist and pulled my arms behind my
back as he leaned into me. Hovering over me, I closed my eyes as
his facial hair tickled the delicate skin of my neck. His lips
circled my ear and pulled gently as I dropped my head against his
chest, trying to stop myself from falling over.

“
It is a hard limit for
me.” It took longer than it should have for his words to register
with me. “I want you so fucking bad.”

“
James, I don’t have to
tie you up.” Panting, “Oh, God, you have to stop that.” He was
biting and sucking on my neck and released my wrists only to hold
them with one hand while his other grabbed my ass and pushed down
between the back of my legs.

We both moaned as he rubbed
my wet panties with his broad fingers. As I cried out, his mouth
seized mine as he released my hands and turned me around. He
maneuvered us to the wall and pressed me up alongside it. My
breasts heaved against the wall as his hands rubbed over my
torso.

“
James, please. Make me
come.”

“
No sex,
Blackbird.”

I almost started sobbing in
my body’s desperate need of him. My voice cracked, “I, no, I can’t
do it. It’s torture.” He stopped what he was doing and turned me to
face him.

“
Can’t do
what?”

“
I can’t wait. I, I...” I
suddenly became unsure if I should tell him what it was I wanted.
“I’m not as strong as you.”

“
You’re
strong.”

I shook my head in protest.
“I’m not.”

“
Tell me.” I closed my
eyes as he gripped my chin and ordered, “Look at me,” and when I
did he demanded, “Tell me!”

I continued shaking my head
as I whimpered, “I need you inside me. I’m starting to forget what
it felt like. I don’t want to forget. Please, don’t let me
forget.”

The green pools of his eyes
mesmerized me as he stared at me. I’m sure he was fighting with his
own emotions, wants and needs, let alone doctor’s orders. He
released my chin and stepped away from me as I sagged against the
wall. My clit thrummed away, pleading to be touched as I watched
him pace the room.

“
I’m sorry.”

Turning to me, “Don’t be
sorry. Never be sorry for telling me what it is you want, what you
need.”

Before I knew what was
happening, he had grabbed my hand and was pulling me up the stairs.
I didn’t know what to think or what to expect as he pulled me to
the center of the bedroom and kissed me, almost violently. My lips
began to swell as our mouths fought for control, teeth bumping
while our lips tangled. I tried to remove his clothes, but he
denied me while he removed mine.

He pushed me to arm’s
length and took in my body. I stood, legs trembling, in my bra and
panties as he tried to push down his erection through his
pants.

“
Fuck.” I jumped at his
outburst and watched him remove his socks, leaving him in only his
shirt and pants. He climbed the bed and I watched him as he sat up
against the headboard, legs spread wide. “Come here.”

I climbed the bed as
gracefully as I could, not sure where he wanted me. He directed me
to sit down in front of him and I did as I was instructed. I felt
him tug his shirt over his head, dropping it to the floor. Pulling
me back, the warmth of his chest soothed an ache in me I hadn’t
known was there. I completely relaxed against him as his hands
began to travel my abdomen. Turning my face back toward his, I
found his mouth waiting for me.

His hands singed every part
of my torso, avoiding the parts most desperate for his touch. I
even tried to move up against him and stopped when he pulled the
cup of my bra down and molded my breast to his hand and he soon
released the other. He lifted me slightly so that my bum was
resting against his cock, enveloped in his lap. His legs moved
under and in between mine as he spread my legs. He caressed my
inner thighs until I was trembling again.

“
Touch yourself.” My body
stiffened at his words. “No sex with each other, of any kind. Touch
yourself.”

He kissed me again as my
hand slowly moved to my panties. I didn’t have the energy to fight
him, I just wanted my release and if touching myself was the only
way to get it, then so be it. At least he was there with me,
helping to guide me over the edge.

As my fingers found my
soaking lips, a rush of desire charged through me. He groaned and
pressed his groin against me. His hands pushed my hair to the side
as he tortured my neck with his mouth. My fingers did what they
knew how to do best. In and out, round and round, up and down as he
kept pressing himself against me. My breathing was picking up as my
hand increased its pace.

“
Slow down. Enjoy it. Make
it last.” His own words were raspy and strained as he held on to
me.

His arms encircled me, one
at my neck and the other around my waist. “James…” I slowed my
movements, circling in the opposite direction before pulling my
fingers away. Lifting my hand, he sucked on my fingers when they
reached his mouth. When he released them, I resumed my own demise
as he encouraged me on. We were panting and moaning our own song of
longing and desire.

“
Kiss me.” Turning my face
to his, he breathed in my mouth as my climax came closer. “Come in
my mouth. I want to breathe in your release.”

My body tensed as his
tongue explored every part of my mouth. His arms held me tighter as
my release overpowered me. He didn’t stop kissing me until my
trembling ceased, his fingertips drawing lazy circles over my
skin.

My eyes opened a few
minutes later and we were face to face under the covers. He was
asleep and I didn’t have the heart to wake him. I crawled out of
bed, threw on his discarded shirt and climbed back in next to him.
Habit and instinct both took over as he tucked me in against him. I
was safe, back in his cocoon embrace.

C
hapter
13
~
U
nbreakable

~ JAMES ~

I woke up with a raging
boner, her hip pressed up against it.
Fuck!
I wanted to take her, fuck
doctor’s orders, but I wanted to make sure when we did finally fuck
again, that it was it for us.
She
was it for me, but I knew she still wasn’t
convinced of that. Of course, the act we’d performed that night
probably broke doctor’s orders, but I wasn’t about to tell him. I
had to get out of that bed before I buried myself inside
her.

I debated whether I should
leave, shower, sleep on the couch, run on the treadmill; the
choices were boundless. My hard-on was relentless so I decided on a
shower. I made my way to the guest bath in the hall, not wanting to
wake her. Turning the water on, I removed my pants and briefs
before stepping in.