Lex and Lu (12 page)

“To see him with Nina made my heart sing. I don’t know how else to describe it. I know he found joy in all of the mannerisms that she inherited from Lex. I know he loved her because he could see his son in her. But it was so much more than that. He loved her because she was Nina. I think he died regretting the decisions that were made eight years ago.”

“Louisa May,” her mother said, shooting up out of her seat. “That’s enough. You are being incredibly insensitive.”

Lu stood there, trying not to glare at her mother. Please be on my side, she thought. Without meaning to, she looked directly into Josephine Pellitteri’s eyes. They weren’t green like Lex’s, but the soulfulness of his eyes he got from his mother. Jo reached out and patted Amber’s arm.

“It’s OK, Amber. She’s not saying anything I don’t know. And I bet she’s been sitting on this for a long time.” Jo never took her eyes off of Lu. Inclining her head, she granted Lu permission to continue.

Bitch, thought Lu. I’m reprimanding them and she’s giving me permission.

“I’m doing this my way. That’s what I came over here to tell you. Although I was going to tell you all separately, before you ambushed me.”

“Lu, we knew you’d come when you’d figured out what you wanted to do. This wasn’t an ambush.”

“It’s neither here nor there,” she said waving away her mother’s comment with her hand. “Sky is on her way here with Nina. Nina won’t be at the funeral. I haven’t even told her about Grampa Mike because I didn’t know how.” She paused, hating that she hadn’t been able to sit down with Nina before she’d had to rush here. “I’m not going to share much more than this with you. What I do today is what I think is best for Nina and Lex. I haven’t asked for your opinions about it because I’m not sure that I care.”

Angry and surprised by her anger, Lu took another moment. She turned away from them. How is it that I didn’t realize that I held them responsible? she thought. Trying to get a grip on her anger, she walked to the edge of the patio and looked out into the dawn. The possibilities of the dawn. Her mother could probably quote great works of literature that paid tribute to the new beginnings promised at the start of each day. But as Lu looked out over the horizon, she only saw endings for her. Lex could get a beginning. She was going to do everything in her power to ensure that he got the endless possibilities today. And Nina would get a beginning. Lu smiled at the thought of Nina and Lex discovering each other. They would fascinate each other. But she only saw dusk for herself. She would once again feel the loss of Lex. How was it possible that she had to experience that earth-shattering loss twice in her lifetime? And she was forced to admit that she would lose some of Nina today. It wouldn’t be the two of them against the world anymore. She would have to share her daughter. Another loss. And she would be saying good-bye to Mike Pellitteri. Mr. P., who had sensed the depth of her loss because he had lost too on that day so long ago. Her heart ached. And her anger bubbled. It was then that she knew she was losing her parents too. Because quite suddenly, she wasn’t sure that she would be able to forgive them.

Turning back to the three friends, knowing there should also be a fourth, Lu moved toward them again. “I’m doing this my way. I’m making it up to the seventeen-year-old girl whose destiny was chosen for her. You are not to interfere.” She met the eyes of each of them. She saw their reluctant acceptance. She drew herself up, and as a parting shot she looked back on them. “You better hope that Lex and Nina find a way to connect. Because if my daughter gets hurt in any way, I am holding the three of you personally responsible.”

As Lu made her way off the deck, silence descended again. Before Jo could stop it, laughter rippled through her. She looked at Amber and Chris, her dearest friends.

Amber was clearly horrified. She sat stunned, ripped open by the vehemence of Lu’s anger. Although it was justified, Lu had never given them any reason to believe she was that angry with them. She looked over at Chris, wondering if the bewilderment she was feeling was the same for him. Chris looked just as stunned as she felt.

“I never thought she was so angry with us,” Amber said as she got up and walked to where Chris was sitting. She knew this was a conversation they needed to have privately, but she couldn’t contain her thoughts.

Chris shook his head. “I don’t know. We probably should have known. She’s always been good at letting you think you know what’s going on in her head. She’s too damn smart.”

“Think about her holding that in for this long.”

“I don’t think that’s what’s going on, Amber. I think she just realized how mad she is. Everything coming down on her with no warning. She’s striking out and we’re convenient.”

“Think there is any way that today can end well?” she asked, rhetorically.

Chris chose not to answer.

Jo remained silent, lost in her own thoughts. Listening but not really listening. Letting them deal with their family as she knew she would have to deal with hers today. If Lu was this angry, she couldn’t imagine Lex’s wrath. It took a lot to get Lex mad. In fact, she couldn’t really remember a time when he let anger rule him. He had always found a way to laugh things off. Even on the field, no one ever got the best of him. The most popular descriptions of Lex were words like
mischievous, fun-loving, irreverent. Intense
usually played into it too, but no one could claim to have ever seen Lex angry. Jo worried she would see it today though. Today, she would see a side of Lex Pellitteri that no one had ever seen.

Her thoughts drifted to Lu. And she felt proud. She had been magnificent—an avenging angel. Taking back what she lost those years ago. As she thought of Lu taking control, it dawned on her.

“Lex,” she said out loud.

Amber and Chris turned to her, waiting for her to continue.

“Lex brings it out in her. That confidence we just witnessed. That ‘swag’! He’s the one person who could ever tap into that. I have a feeling that today isn’t going to be anything like we think it is. She’s got something planned. Something no one else would have even considered. She’s going to do something to save my son.”

As the three of them contemplated the coming day, they lapsed into that now-familiar silence, each lost in their own thoughts. When Lex, Willa, and Pete walked up the deck steps, they shattered the pensive mood. Willa made her way to her parents, offering hugs and kisses as Pete and Lex bent to greet their mother. The three of them shared a look of concern. They weren’t sure what they’d missed, but their parents looked shell-shocked and the day hadn’t yet begun. Willa and Pete looked to Lex, begging him to do something about the mood.

“What’s going on out here?” Lex inquired, taking center stage. “You all look like you’re going to a funeral.”

And just like that, the bubble of tension burst and everyone laughed.

Everyone except Lu had made it for breakfast. Lex waited, watching as the door continued to open to admit people, but Lu never appeared. Miguel, Caroline, and Pete stayed close to him. Miguel and Caroline to offer support, Pete to siphon it. They’d always taken turns, but today, Pete was leaning hard. When it wasn’t on Lex, Willa was close by, and for that Lex was grateful. But it also made him angry because Lu seemed to have disappeared. Lex desperately longed for a run to drag the anger from his system. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been as pissed as he was right now. Two hours before saying good-bye to his father, and he couldn’t think of much other than waking up alone. He longed for Lu to be with him. He’d tried to play it off, but Pete and Willa knew. They knew he had spent his night with Lu, and it was obvious she’d slipped out before Lex had gotten up when he strolled out of Lu’s room alone. Although he’d slipped easily into his role of lightheartedness, he resented having to be the one to help everyone feel better while he slid further toward darkness. He needed Lu now, and he couldn’t figure out where she’d gone and why she’d left without him.

Right before they left for the service, he pulled Willa to the side.

“Where is she?” he asked, as he attempted to maintain his façade of utter coolness.

Willa didn’t try to pretend, which he appreciated. “She went to the church to help take care of things so your mom could stay here with you and Pete.” She reached out and rubbed his arm. “I’m not saying she didn’t take an opportunity to avoid you,” she paused, “but she was trying to help your mom.”

Somewhat mollified, he gave her a brief smile. “Thanks,” he said, pulling her into a side hug and kissing her forehead. “I’ve missed you, ya know.”

She slung her arm around his waist. “It’s good to see you too, Lexifer,” she said, laughing at her very old pet name for him.

He threw back his head and laughed. “I totally forgot about that.” Leaning in, he said softly, “Go easy on my boy, OK?”

“I’ll try. But as you know, I’m not easy.”

“Ha! Oh, I know.”

“You OK?” she asked, knowing the question wasn’t a fair one.

“It’s all relative, right?” At her nod, he said, “I think I am in shock still. I don’t really believe that he’s gone. I mean, I believe it, but it hasn’t hit me.”

Since she had nothing to compare it to, she simply nodded.

“You ready?” he asked.

“Yeah. I’ll go grab Pete. I can drive.”

“Thanks.”

The service was beautiful. Isn’t that what you are supposed to say about a memorial service for your father? he thought. Lex felt the sympathy around him. A tangible euphoria, as if everyone in the church was having the same memory of his father, enveloped him in all of his happy memories of the most amazing person he had known. Besieged by different images still alive in his heart, he focused in the defining moment of his childhood. He’d always been closer to his dad than to Jo. So when Lu told him that she was pregnant, Mike was the person he sought.

“Pops, I need to talk to you about something,” he’d said when he found his father alone in his office Lex was fairly certain that his father assumed he wanted to talk to him about his upcoming trip. He’d made the U-20 National team and would be leaving soon.

“OK. What’s going on?”

Lex tried to come up with something witty and Lex-like, but his Lexicisms failed him. “Ah, I’m not quite sure what to say.”

“Just spit it out. I can read it.”

“Lu’s pregnant,” Lex said quickly.

Mike’s eyes got wide, he rubbed his hands over his face, and then turned away. “Can you say something else?” his dad quipped.

“I could, but this is what I need to talk to you about.”

“How is she?” Mike asked. Lu might as well have been one of his children. And Mike could imagine her intellectual anxiety, which would be far more potent than with most sixteen-year-olds finding out they were pregnant. “And don’t think I’m questioning you, but how did you handle it?”

The smile that was so much a part of Lex’s charm split his face. “I told her I’d be back as soon as I could and we’d play it from there. I’m not leaving Lu behind. You know that, right?”

Mike smiled, but it was tight, worried.

“So, how do you think Dr. A. and Mr. Chris will take it?”

Mike didn’t even know how to respond. He wasn’t sure how
he
was taking it. “Have you guys discussed options?”

“Like what? Abortion?” Lex laughed. “You know Lu. In all her intellectual glory she knows exactly what abortion is. And ya know, she knows what she’d be giving up, but she doesn’t want to have an abortion. She said, and this might be word-for-word, ‘Lex, I know I’m supposed to go on to greatness because I’ve been “blessed” with this crazy-smart brain, but I can’t have an abortion. I know my mom will freak because she’s done everything in her power to raise smart, independent thinkers. Her picturing her sixteen-year-old daughter pregnant will offend all of her feminist sensibilities. But I think I can have our child and still make something of myself.’

“Seriously, Dad, how can I argue with that? It was like listening to Dr. A. When Lu talks like that, I feel like I am totally out of my league.”

“We’re all a little out of our league around Lu. But if it wasn’t for you, Lu wouldn’t be who she is. You bring out the best in her.”