Lex and Lu (15 page)

Lu pushed away from the wall and, keeping her back to him, fixed her dress. She longed for a bathroom so she could expel him from her body, but she knew that she could prolong this no longer. Before they could decimate each other, Lu found one of the small chairs and took a seat. Composing her face, she looked up, searching for his gaze. She noticed then that he’d been watching her, maybe waiting for her to rail at him. Unsure, she reached over and patted the chair beside her.

“I think it will make this easier for you if you sit down. But I also know your penchant for movement, so perhaps you should do whatever it is that feels right.” She paused. Her nerves were reflected in her voice as her speech began the climb to formal. Lu always reached for the big words when she was nervous.

He continued to lean on the wall, one foot bent and braced so that his leg was at an angle. Looking at him, she was reminded that he took her breath away. Determined to move forward she started. “On July 4—yes, Independence Day, which I always find ironic because I seemed to have lost my independence on that day—your daughter, Nina Pellitteri Knight, was born at 8:00 p.m. after about an hour of labor. Apparently, I was made to make babies. Which again I find ironic because my mama wanted so much more for Willa and me than teenage pregnancy. But ya know, of course, shit happens.” She knew she was rambling, but all of the speeches she’d rehearsed were somehow getting strung together, so her flippant side was intermingling with her superintelligent side. It made her head hurt to try to control the jumble, so she let it flow from her mouth. When Lex didn’t protest or tell her to fuck off, she knew that he’d already been told about Nina. She knew Caroline had told him and she was pretty sure it wasn’t presented in a delicate manner, so she knew she should continue her story.

But nothing came out of her mouth; she didn’t know how to continue. Neither spoke. They simply stared at each other, Lu not knowing what to say and Lex refusing to make it any easier.

Finally, Lu found her footing again and remembered that she was trying to save Lex’s family for him. She continued, or maybe she started over. She was not really sure. “We knew that if you knew I was having the baby, you would come home from Europe. Nobody wanted to stifle your chance. So it was decided that we’d tell you I had an abortion. If we’d said I lost the baby, you would have come home. But an abortion, that ensured that you wouldn’t need to come home.”

At this point, Lu couldn’t sit anymore and she couldn’t look at Lex anymore. She was at a crossroads, one she knew she would eventually reach. Here, she could condemn herself or she could condemn their parents. Knowing that placing the blame where it truly belonged would essentially orphan Lex, she looked up to the heavens, hoping Mr. P. was smiling down on her.

“When you didn’t try to reach me or check on me, I was hurt and angry. So I issued an ultimatum to everyone. The only way I would allow them in Nina’s life was if they promised not to tell you. I was young and stupid and I felt a little powerless at the time. And later, I was afraid to retract it because I wasn’t sure how to tell you.”

She tried to meet Lex’s eyes then, but he was staring off into some distant spot. His body remained against the wall, completely rigid. Finally, after what seemed an eternity but in reality was probably not very long, Lex pushed away from the wall. He walked directly to her.

“When can I see my daughter?” he asked.

Lu swallowed audibly. “She’s at your mom’s house now.”

Nodding his head, Lex reached out and traced a finger down her cheek. His touch was achingly gentle and Lu couldn’t help but lean in to it. Lex leaned too and they were almost embracing except that the only part of their bodies that were touching were his finger and her cheek. He moved slightly so that his mouth was close to her ear. “I’m sorry about earlier,” he whispered, then drew back so he could see her. He looked directly into her eyes. “But I figure, one good fuck deserves another, ya know?” he remarked, eyebrow raised, Lex Pellitteri in full force. But it wasn’t a Lex that Lu recognized.

She stepped back, feeling very cold, scared of this man in front of her.

“So we’re clear on where we stand: This is the last conversation you and I will ever have. From here—until the end of time—anything you have to say to me goes through my attorney.” He raked her from head to toe with a murderous look. “I will never forgive you for what you’ve done,” he said in a voice that was scarily calm. He turned away from her and left the room.

Shaking from head to toe, Lu lowered herself into a chair. She was damp and sticky, and her nostrils were filled with the smell of him. She knew she needed to move, to get to Nina, but she couldn’t stand on her shaky legs. Looking around the room in a daze, she saw all the leftover Easter pictures of Jesus rising from the dead. And just like that her body shuddered with sobs. Surrounded by pictures of resurrection, Lu knew that her life wouldn’t get a second chance.

It was Willa who finally came to get her. Like Lex earlier, she was not sure how long she sat in the Sunday-school room, back in the little chair. But when Willa walked in, Lu looked at her through a haze of unhappiness.

Instantly alarmed by the look of her, Willa practically ran to her and dropped down in front of her. Grabbing her hands, Willa rubbed them vigorously, attempting to infuse some warmth into her ice-cold fingers. Willa was shocked by Lu’s appearance. Her face was tear-stained, her eyes and nose red from what looked like a serious bout of crying, her hair mussed as if she had repeatedly run her hands through it. “What happened, Lu?”

Lu flinched, almost as if she didn’t realize that it was Willa sitting in front of her.

“Where’s Lex?” Lu asked.

“He’s back at the house. When you didn’t come back with him, Sky and I came to find you.”

“Has he seen Nina?” she asked impatiently, suddenly alert.

“No, Lu. When Pete saw Lex walk up to the house, he knew something was off. He took Nina to our house. He didn’t want their meeting to take place without you.” Willa stopped when she heard the door creak open again. Turning, she met Sky’s look with a worried one of her own.

“Sky’s here,” she said soothingly to Lu.

Lu looked at Sky and Willa and tried to offer up a smile, but it was one that didn’t work, and they both became more alarmed.

“Lu,” Willa said, “What happened? Maybe if you tell me, you’ll feel better.”

Lu laughed a maniacal laugh and said, “I don’t think I’ll ever feel better.”

“Yes, you will. It will take time, but you will.”

Shaking her head and looking sadly at the ground, she started to ramble about what happened. “He was so angry, Will. But he knew before I told him, so when I walked in here, he already knew. Who would tell him? I mean I know who told him but I wanted to be the one to tell him. I’m not saying he wouldn’t have been angry, but I don’t think he would have been so ruthless.”

Suddenly on edge, Willa asked a question she wasn’t sure she wanted the answer to. “Lu, what did he do to you. Did he hurt you?”

Again, the maniacal laugh before she answered. “We fucked.” Laughter. “I wish I could say it was something more meaningful than that, but he wanted to hurt me, and I let him.”

Willa stood up, pissed. “I will rip his fucking dick off!”

Lu reached up and grabbed her hand. “I wanted him. One last time. I needed him. It was as much my doing as his.”

“Stop it!” Willa shouted. “You don’t deserve that.”

“Willa, I kept his child from him for eight years. Then when he comes back, I don’t tell him. And to top it off, I sleep with him while holding all of it away from him. And he asked me. He knew I was lying to him and I still didn’t tell him. Somehow, I thought that I could lessen the blow. I’m wrong here, Will, not him.”

“He’s going to pay for that.”

“Willa, think back for me. I’ve been sitting here trying to think about this. Do you ever remember seeing Lex mad about anything? Have you ever seen him angry? I haven’t until today. I brought out this completely foreign emotion in him. To look at him and not see his laughter in his eyes, it was like a stake to the heart. And I did that.”

Willa allowed herself to appear calm and collected. “We have to get you cleaned up and back to the house. You look like hell.”

“I don’t want Nina to see me like this, OK?”

Willa and Sky exchanged a look. “Yes. Come on. We’ve got to get back.”

Willa and Sky helped her out of the little chair. They left the Sunday-school room behind.

When they returned to the house, Willa sent Lu with Sky to get cleaned up. Willa made her way over to the Pellitteris’. Not finding Lex or Pete in the kitchen mingling with the guests, she headed to the office. The office had been Mike’s sanctuary. The dark-paneled walls and plantation shutters blocked most of the light, giving the room a serious mood. The places that were painted were a dark wine color. It was one of the few rooms in the house with carpet, but it was plush and made you feel like you were bouncing when you walked. The built-in cabinetry flanked the back wall. Directly in front sat Mr. P.’s massive desk. When they were little, this room seemed to be forbidden. Part of that came from the fact that they rarely entered as children unless they were in trouble. Pulling open the pocket doors, Willa barged in to find Lex, Pete, and Jo huddled, talking quietly. Lex was leaning against the desk, his arms crossed in front of him. Jo and Pete were sitting in the chairs.

Sliding the doors closed so that they banged and reverberated around the room, Lex looked up, while Jo and Pete turned to see who felt compelled to intrude. Watching their expressions, Willa took note of Lex’s weary gaze, Pete’s shy smile, and Jo’s quick flare of annoyance. Stalking through the room, Willa walked between the chairs to stand directly in front of Lex.

She could see his curious look as he raised his eyebrow as if to say, “What do you want, Will?”

Before anyone knew her intention, she drew her hand back and smacked him across the face. “What the fuck is the matter with you?” she seethed.

At first there was stunned silence. Only the sound of Willa’s agitated breathing could be heard. Then, all at once, everyone moved. Jo jumped to her feet, Lex stood up from the desk, and Pete wrapped his arms around her so that she couldn’t move hers. Backing her away, he whispered to her, “What are you doing?”

But she didn’t hear him. “What the fuck is the matter with you? How could you hurt her like that?” she screamed, fighting against Pete. Willa was so mad at Lex that she couldn’t calm down, even though she could hear Pete murmuring soothingly to her.

“This isn’t our fight, Will,” he whispered, moving her slowly toward the front of the room, out of Lex’s reach.

But Lex kept moving toward them, and Pete could feel panic rising in his chest. All he could hope for was not to be put in the middle. Don’t make me choose, he thought to himself, pleading in his eyes as he held on to the struggling Willa and watched Lex move toward them.

Suddenly, Lex stopped, as if Pete’s silent pleas had reached his ears. He took a tentative step toward them. “Will,” he said in a voice surprisingly soft, “how am I the bad guy here?”

Willa froze in Pete’s arms. Glaring at him with residual adrenaline rushing through her, she said, “When you pulled your little sexual power play.”

He nodded. “Point taken.”

Pete glared at him. “What the hell did you do?” “That’s enough!” The three of them stopped as Jo walked into the middle, between Lex and Pete, who was still holding on to Willa, even though she had stopped struggling. “Just stop it. This isn’t the time nor the place for this discussion.” Looking at Willa she said, “It’s not your place to get in the middle of this mess with Lex and Lu. They’ve got to figure this out without any interference from the rest of us.”

Willa, still livid, couldn’t hold her tongue. “Like you’ve been so good staying out of it?”

Jo, caught off guard by Willa’s blast of anger, glared back at her. “That’s quite enough, Willa.” At the same time, Pete tightened his hold on Willa, begging her to stop, and whispered “please” in her ear.

Willa pulled out of Pete’s arms, needing distance from him. She knew somewhere in the back of her mind that she couldn’t put him in this impossible situation, today of all days, but she couldn’t help sticking up for Lu. He felt her pull away but knew he couldn’t do anything about it. Lex, already regretting his encounter with Lu, was flooded with guilt, and Jo, who was trying desperately to do the right thing for Lex, wanted to smack Willa. Pete, the only one in the room with diplomatic skills, knew he needed to do something to save the situation, but his mind was blank. When a tentative knock sounded at the door, they all grabbed on to it as if they were drowning and the knock were a life preserver.

“Come in,” came the chorus, as all of them answered.

The pocket door slid open and standing just outside were Lu and Nina.

Pete, Willa, and Jo all shouted at once, “Little Bit!” “Nee!” “Nina!”

A big smile broke over her face. She was the perfect blend of Lu and Lex, but didn’t really look like either one of them. She had gotten Lu’s black hair, Lex’s green eyes, Lu’s full lips, Lex’s height but Lu’s slender stature. The whole room was enchanted.