Lies in Love (42 page)

“Hi, angel,” his
deep voice rumbled through the line.

“It must be the middle
of the night there, Daddy. Is everything okay?”

“Fine. Fine. I just
couldn’t sleep. Thinking about fireworks. You know the Fourth
of July was always my favorite, watching your face light up every
time those colors erupted in the sky.”

Talia remembered many
holidays lying under the stars with her head in her father’s
lap, watching the giant stars exploding in the sky. She remembered
how she felt with her father’s massive arms holding her each
time one thundered just a little too loud. “I miss you, Daddy.”

“I miss you too,
angel.” His voice had grown a little somber and he stopped for
a moment. Talia thought she heard her father sniffle before he asked,
“How are things?”

“The shop is good.
We’ve had quite a bit of new business since Marissa’s
wedding. Everyone loved our work.”

“As they should. I
have two very talented daughters. I knew I was leaving the shop in
good hands when I moved out here.”

Talia still wished her
father hadn’t moved to Spain, but he needed new scenery and,
without that move, he never would’ve met his current wife,
Blanca. “You’re too good to us, you know that?”

“Bah. A father can
never be too good to his daughters. How are you both?”

“Sara’s good.
She’s out at the lake with Camey and Reina watching the
fireworks now.”

“And why aren’t
you with them?”

Tears prickled Talia’s
eyes. “Didn’t feel like it.” She breathed through
her nose, pressing the urge to cry down to the pit of her stomach.

“What’s going
on?”

“Nothing, Daddy. I’m
fine.”

“Talia,” his
voice rebuked. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I’m just
miserable, Daddy.” The waterworks started and there was no
switch to shut them off. “I fell in love with a man who has a
less-than-desirable past, but I can’t stop thinking about him.”

“Talia, I raised you
better than to judge someone for their past. What is so horrible that
you can’t see past it?”

Her father had raised her to
be open minded and forgiving. She knew her stubbornness must have
come from her mother, but she would never admit that to her father.
“He was an escort.” Talia heard her father choking on the
other end of the line. “Daddy, are you okay?” She
chuckled. For the first time in a long time, she briefly found humor
in their situation.

“I wasn’t
expecting that.”

“I wasn’t
either.” She wiped at the tears she continued to cry. Talking
to her father just set all of her emotions spinning.

“Well, you said it’s
in his past. You’re certain he’s given it up?” Her
father didn’t sound as agreeable, but he would never admit to
placing judgment on a soul alive.

“He said he has and I
believe him.” She didn’t realize it before, but she knew
he had never lied to her.

“And you love him,”
he coughed.

She took a moment to think
about the only time she’d said the words to Landon. She knew
the answer then just as much as she knew now. “Yes, Daddy. I
do.”

“Well suck it up,
Buttercup. If you can’t forgive him for something that happened
before you met him, then I’m sorry, my dear, but you don’t
deserve him.”

Talia knew her father was a
smart man, but she wasn’t sure the situation was so black and
white. She said the only honest thing she could think, “I’ll
try.”

“I know you will.”
Her father cleared his throat then continued. “I love you, my
dear. Give my love to your sister and tell her I’ll be in touch
soon.”

“I will, Daddy. I love
you, too.” She set the phone on her bed, crawled to the
headboard, and pulled her legs up in front of her. Placing her cheek
on her knees, she tried to suppress the tears. She promised her
father she’d try, but she worried it might be too late. She
hadn’t heard a word from Landon in over two weeks and she
worried he’d finally given up on her, with good reason. She
couldn’t think about it anymore tonight.

She climbed from the bed and
decided to go for a walk. Some fresh air might do her some good. She
went in search of her tennis shoes, but there was only one in the
closet. Trying to recall the last time she’d worn them, she
remembered her tryst with Landon after their disaster run.

On her knees, she dug under
her bed and found her missing shoe as well as Landon’s old TCU
sweatshirt. She snatched it from the floor and inhaled his scent that
still lingered on the fabric. “Stupid. You’re supposed to
be clearing your head, not muddying it up more.” She dropped
the shirt and headed out of the apartment for a walk through the
neighborhood.

Fireworks exploded overhead,
but Talia kept her head focused on the road in front of her. The
bursting colors were overwhelming. She needed the darkness and some
peace and quiet. Several blocks from home she came across a newer
apartment complex. A man stood outside of his apartment hugging a
woman just inside the door and Talia couldn’t help but stare.
He was tall and built, his black t-shirt stretched across his back
and clinging to his biceps like Landon’s always did. And his
wheat-colored hair flipped in the gentle summer breeze. From behind,
he could easily have been Landon, but Talia knew it was too
coincidental. She convinced herself it wasn’t him until he
turned around and those sapphire eyes bore into her.

“Talia?” Landon
looked like a vision in his coal shirt and dark denim jeans.

“Oh, hi.” Her
heart raced seeing him again. “Are you, uh…?” She
stared at the door, scared to ask what she was thinking. She breathed
deep and blurted out, “You just coming from a job?” Her
heart broke imagining him with another woman.

Landon glanced at the door
behind him before turning back to her. “Oh, Talia, no.”
Thumbing toward the door behind him, he uttered, “That was my
sister.”

She recalled the things he’d
said about his sister, how their relationship was non-existent and
doubt crept in. “It’s okay. I didn’t expect you to
wait around for me. I understand if you went back to … that.”
She dropped her head, but his hand gently lifted her eyes to his.

Those crystal blue orbs
haunted her as she watched his internal struggle tarnish his face.
She could see he was searching for something when he spoke, “But
I didn’t. I gave it all up the day I met you. I couldn’t
go back to that life.” His face tensed as he stared at her, his
arm lifting in her direction a couple times, but never reaching her.
“No one could ever replace you.”

“You don’t have
to say that.” His words felt like an appeasement, like he was
only trying to ease the pain she felt since their breakup.

“Yes, I do, because
it’s the truth.”

Talia nodded, but she
realized she was still staring at the door. She was troubled with the
idea that there could have easily been someone else. “I should
go.”

“Talia, wait.”

She headed down the
sidewalk, not looking back, trying to hide the tears that were
coming.

“Petal.”

She felt his hands on her
shoulders as that one word caused her tears to spill out. Shaking her
head, she wished he’d let her go. When she paused to wipe at
her tears, he moved in front of her.

“Why are you crying?”

She sobbed uncontrollably,
biting her lip in an effort to ease the tears, but they just wouldn’t
stop. His arms wrapped around her and she fell into them, wishing
things could go back to the way they were. Her father’s words
festered, reminding her that if she couldn’t forgive him, she
didn’t deserve him. She wanted so badly to deserve him, but she
didn’t know how she ever could.

Landon pulled her closer
before whispering, “God, I’ve missed you.” He
pressed his lips to her forehead before he pulled back to look at her
again. “Can we go somewhere and talk?”

“I can’t.”
She was retreating back into her fear, taking a few steps away from
him. The stream of tears poured down her face. “I have to go.”

“Talia, please.”

She was still back pedaling,
straining to see his deep blue eyes through her tears.

“Can I at least walk
with you?” When she hesitated to answer, he added, “It’s
late and people are crazy tonight. Let me make sure you get home
safe.”

She wiped at her cheeks and
for some unknown reason whispered, “Okay.”

“Are you sure I can’t
take you somewhere, maybe get you a bite to eat?”

It was refreshing that he
still persevered where she was concerned. The thought that he hadn’t
yet given up on her helped to ease her crying. “I suppose I
could eat.”

“Come on.” He
took her hand and led her around the corner.

With her free hand, she
wiped away the last of the tearstains, willing herself to get it
together. When he opened the passenger door of a dark green Jeep,
Talia merely looked at him. “Whose is this?”

“It’s mine.”

“Where’s your
bike?” She actually found herself longing for a ride with him,
to wrap her arms tightly around him.

“Sold it.”

“You sold it. Why?
Have you lost your mind?” She leaned against the Jeep, looking
up at the sad expression haunting his face.

“No, I just lost you.”
His arm was hanging on the door as he looked up the street. “Just
get in, okay?”

“Yeah.” She
climbed inside and sat trembling, waiting for him to join her. Her
nerves had her feeling like she was back in junior high, on her first
date. She was tapping her foot and clinging to the door when he
finally got in the driver’s seat and the Jeep thundered to
life.

“So what are you in
the mood for?” He stared at the street ahead, evidently
avoiding her.

“How about a nice,
juicy burger?” A coy smile crept on her face.

He looked her way and
smiled. “You got it.” Putting the Jeep in gear, he headed
to their favorite burger joint.

The silence in the Jeep was
intense, but she was thankful for the time to gather her thoughts.
She had to figure out what to say to him, to get the answers she was
finally ready to hear. At the diner, she quietly got out of the Jeep
and followed him inside.

When the waitress appeared,
he quickly ordered their usual and sent her away. He quietly drummed
his fingers on the table, staring out the window.

Talia leaned into the table
and whispered, “Are you okay?”

“I’m just
scared.”

“Of what?” His
response surprised her.

“That I’m going
to look back across the table and you’ll be gone.” He
glanced at her before looking down at his hands. “I keep having
this nightmare that you’re here with me, smiling, but when I
look back, the booth is empty. It’s just me. Alone.”

“I see your eyes every
time I close mine.” She couldn’t believe she’d
actually said the words out loud, but it was the truth.

Landon reached across the
table, placing his fidgeting hand over hers. “I’m sorry,
Talia.” He breathed deeply, looking overcome as he tried to
continue. “I wanted to tell you so badly, but it never seemed
like the right time. I know that sounds so cliché, but how do
you tell the woman you love that you were once an escort?”

She stared at the man before
her, unaware how broken he’d been without her. He had always
been so strong, and now he just looked … lost.

“I was so afraid that
the second I said the words, you would walk away.”

“How could you be so
sure? You never even gave me the chance to decide for myself.”

Landon gestured between them
and cleared his throat. “This is a pretty good indicator.
Clearly, I was just delaying the inevitable. Once you knew what I
was, you didn’t want anything to do with me.”

“But if the
circumstances were different…”

“Do you really think
that if I had told you while I was showing you around my parents’
property, or during our trip to the pool hall, or even after we made
love it would have made any difference? You didn’t hesitate to
throw me out the second you found out. You didn’t even let me
explain.”

Talia withdrew her hand from
his and sunk into the booth, feeling wretched. He made such a valid
point, but she wished things had been different. She wished she would
have found out any other way and that she could be certain she
wouldn’t have reacted the same. If only he could have told her
on his own terms then maybe she would have responded better. In the
pit of her stomach, she knew it wouldn’t have mattered.

“I never had to worry
about anything before you came along. Everything was simpler back
then. But I realized, I’d rather have complicated and confusing
than spend a single second more without you. You’re it for me,
Petal. They’ll never be another like you as long as I live. I
just wish we could start over.”

Talia shook her head,
knowing they’d never be able to go back to the beginning. “We
can’t.”

Landon nodded. “I
know.” Landon looked outside briefly. “My dad finally
went to rehab.”

“Really? That’s
great.” Talia didn’t expect the change of subject, but
she was glad to hear there had been at least one good development in
Landon’s life.

“He finally realized
what a mess he’d made of his life, of all our lives, and he
wanted to start over. He was hoping to finally regain what he’d
lost, but you can’t get the past back. You can’t fix
yesterday. You can either let the misery of your past mold you as a
person or you can choose to forgive and forget then move forward.”
He was finally looking at her again when he said, “If you are
able to accept the past, only then can you truly make your future
better.” His eyes studied hers, stealing the pain away. “I
really hope your future is better, Tal. Maybe someday we’ll all
be able to try again.” Looking back at the window, Landon
sighed, “If I could do it all again…” His voice
trailed off as Talia pondered his words.