Life Begins (18 page)

Chapter 18

              Her stomach felt a bit queasy the morning she was supposed to go with Žarko to the lawyers. It didn’t feel quite like nervousness, but she was sure that was part of what she was feeling. She also had to deal with the fact that someone she hadn’t met previously was going to be watching over her children.

              She finished putting the final touches on breakfast, trying her best not to over worry herself when the doorbell rang. She saw Žarko moving toward the door, followed by Josif. “Josif,” she called after him, but the little boy didn’t stop running after his father. She sighed. That little boy could move fast when the mood struck him.

              “Ljiljiana, Desa, do you guys want toast with your breakfast?” Both heads bobbed from where they sat on the floor with baby Juljiana. “Okay,” she said softly to herself. She pulled the toaster from the top of the fridge, then pulled out the loaf she’d just purchased from inside of it. She loved the six piece maker because it was pretty much one shot for her and she was done.

              She kept an ear out as she heard the door opening and the person calling out a greeting to Žarko. She glanced over her shoulder, to see a relatively tall young man standing beside her husband. Clearly, like Žarko, he was Eastern European. He also had strong features, like his face was made out of granite. It was almost frightening.

              Desa was already on her feet and running toward the young man. “Uncle Nenad.” She jumped into his arms, hugging tightly to his neck. He responded to her in Serbian.

              Not knowing what else to do, Josie headed into the living room with the rest of the family. Ljiljiana had already scooped up Juljiana and had joined the conversation with Desa and their…uncle. She had no idea what was being said, considering all parts of the conversation were in Serbian, but okay. Josie figured that she could get through it.

              Žarko cleared his throat, gaining everyone’s attention. “Josie does not yet speak
srbski
, so it would be wise to speak only in English for now.” Josie tried to hide her wince, but knew she wasn’t very successful, because even her son was getting the hang of Serbian better than she was, and she wouldn’t be surprised if baby Juljiana’s first words were in Serbian. But, she knew that her husband hadn’t said it to shame her. Instead, he simply stated a fact. She couldn’t speak the language and didn’t have much time to learn anything other than a few baby words.

              “If I’d known I was going to marry a Serbian I would have gone out of my way to study it years before now. Since that wasn’t the case, here I am, an English speaker.” She completely ignored her husband’s grunt.

              Good thing Nenad seemed to find the humor in the situation. “It’s no problem. I’m American born myself, so I understand how it must feel for you.” He held his hand out for her to shake. “I’m Nenad Crncević, babysitter extraordinaire.” And bodyguard, considering the muscles on him and the outline of a gun she saw hidden in his jacket.

              “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Josie.”
              “As in from that movie in the early 2000’s?”

              Josie laughed. “As in the comics the movie derived from. I was born well before the movie came out.” Suddenly, she had Žarko gently pressing between them, making sure that everyone in the room understood who she belonged to. Josie had to smile at that, because clearly, this guy wasn’t interested in her. “I have breakfast ready, if everyone is hungry now.”

              She shooed everyone to the breakfast nook so that she could get everything set out. She was glad that she’d made a lot, because she hadn’t been sure if the babysitter was going to eat or not, and had wanted to be prepared. She set the plates in front of everyone before returning to the kitchen for baby Juljiana’s breakfast, pears because that’s what the baby currently liked.

              She and Žarko weren’t going to eat because he wanted to take her out for breakfast, but it didn’t stop her from wanting to sit with the kids. Nenad was going to take the girls to schools, even though the girls didn’t want to go. Yeah, that was a conversation that had no business happening. Josie wasn’t having it become a habit for the girls to miss school. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t taking them.

              Baby Juljiana also wasn’t having momma take the spoon with her food too far away from her either, and so kept her hand on top of the spoon and Josie’s hands. She loved her oatmeal and pear mix too much to let anyone stop her from eating. Josie could barely take the time out to wipe the extra mess off her face, she just wanted to eat immediately.

              After the girls had finished eating, and Josif had gotten as much food in his mouth as he could without spilling, Žarko sent them to get ready for the ride. He and Nenad went to transfer the car seats for the smaller ones to ride with him. Josie took that time to finish feeding her daughter, topping her off with a bit of breast milk.

              She got her baby ready in her spring jacket and sat waiting with her. As soon as the men were ready, the baby was taken from her and Josie found herself in the car with her husband. “Are you sure Nenad is going to be okay with the babies? I know he’s watched the girls, but can he change diapers?”

              Žarko patted her hand, absently. “It’s fine. He knows what he’s doing. Nenad’s mother owns a daycare and he has often helped her, so he is versed in changing diapers and chasing toddlers.”

              “And we’re not going to have a news story situation where something happens to my children because we trusted the wrong person? It happens all the time.” She allowed her husband to hold her hand as they drove downtown. It kept her somewhat comforted, even though part of her worried about an unknown man in her house watching over all of her children.

              The silence between them remained unbroken for a long while, except through the music Žarko enjoyed listening to. Then, when she had almost forgotten the conversation enough that she was driving herself crazy, she heard him say, “He knows I would kill him if anything bad happens to the babies. We both know that is not a threat.”

              Josie released a heavy sigh. “Thank you. I’m guessing he’s one of your normal henchmen.”

              “He speaks English so no one thinks about him and the girls are used to him because he helped with them after my move to this city.”

              That gave her more comfort. She sat back and spent the rest of the ride to breakfast relaxing. Then, after a nice and calm meal, they headed to the lawyers office, so that Josie could finally feel part of the case. Žarko’s lawyer was a nice elder gentleman, with silvery hair and startling green eyes that shined through the crinkles of his wrinkles.

              He practically went out of his way to ensure that she felt comfortable. “Ah, so we finally meet Mrs. Knežević. I’m Harrison. Your husband has been your biggest advocate in this case, so you know I have already been warned about upsetting you.”

              Josie laughed. “I would imagine so.” She took the plush red velvet seat he offered her. Žarko sat next to her, taking her coat to hold it over his knee. She gave him a thankful smile before turning her attention back to the lawyer. “So, now that I’m here, let’s get this going. What do you need to know from me?”

              She watched him shuffle through the papers on his desk, a pair of reading glasses on the tip of his nose. “I have all of the paperwork from the divorce, exactly as your lawyer sent them. I guess, what I’m concerned about is, emotionally what happened to cause your ex-husband to give away his parental rights.”

              Josie gave a snort of laughter. “There’s not a lot to talk about. My ex-husband and I married at the age of eighteen. I agreed with him that we should spend time getting used to marriage before introducing children in our relationship, but eventually, I did desire a child and expressed that need to him. I won’t say that my first pregnancy three years ago was planned. It wasn’t but I was glad for it, until I found out that my ex-husband actually had no desire for children whatsoever.”

              She watched him write everything down, occasionally nodding to keep her speaking. It was still a bit hard to talk about, but if it helped to keep Gary out of her life, she was willing to do anything to keep him out of it. “What else happened?”

              She nibbled her lip, glancing at her husband. “Okay, well, I guess Gary got angry that I decided to keep my son so he refused to sign the birth certificate, even if he was supposed to by law. He caused such a big stink at the hospital that they kicked him out. I called my mother to pick me up and tried to go home, but the locks had been changed. Gary said he didn’t want to be married to me anymore, so I stayed a time with my mother. Then, when my son was just over a year old Gary came back around saying that he wanted to make the relationship work. I didn’t know that he had had a vasectomy and he didn’t know that live sperm could still be produced for a while after the procedure. So, I got pregnant again.”

              “He never wanted the kids?”

              Josie shook her head. “Never, so I made sure that all the paperwork stated that he had no legal responsibility for my children. He waived all his rights so he’s never paid child support. He’s never offered to pay it and I have never asked him to. I didn’t get spousal support out of it.” She had no idea what all of this was about.

              Harrison sat back in seat, a contemplative look on his face. “You were how many months pregnant when the divorce happened?”

              Josie had to do a little thinking. “He sent me the paperwork at four months into my pregnancy. I hadn’t given birth by the time the divorced was finalized. I just don’t get why he thinks that there is a case considering that he was the one that started the divorce process and even had his lawyer serve me with the documents absolving him of parental rights.”

              Harrison went back writing on a pad next to him. “If it helps, I can admit that I met Žarko when my baby was three months old, so I had been single technically for,” she tried calculating it in her head, “five months.” She three a glance at her husband, even knowing that he would have no idea. “He’d had a lot of time to complain about being tricked if he felt that way.”

              “Obviously, he didn’t feel threatened until she got a new husband,” Žarko said. “And husband also is adopting children? Why would selfish husband want that?”

              “That’s exactly what I was thinking. The only problem is working it into the defense. The judge on the docket usually only likes to deal with facts.” He rubbed at his forehead. “Give me time to think about this. You have been very helpful Mrs. Knežević. Žarko, I’ll be calling you as soon as I have our defense together.”

              Žarko was immediately on his feet and shaking the hand of the lawyer. Josie was a little slower moving, but she did have a smile on her face as she took her turn shaking the hand of the lawyer. “It was really nice to meet you. Maybe when this is all over we can invite you by the house for a meal. The weather’s getting nice for it.”

              Harrison looked a little surprised, but then a slow smile spread across his face. “You got it.”

              She allowed her husband to guide her out of the office, where she noticed that Žarko completely ignored the ho with the big tits sitting behind the desk. Josie had to shake her head at that. This was a professional office, high class one could say, and somehow half dressed women still managed to get jobs in swanky places.

              She waited until they had stepped on the elevator to say, “Why is she his assistant?” His answer was a sneer and a grunt. “You don’t care.”

              “I don’t care.”

              “Okay.” Josie patted his chest. She kind of wanted to go somewhere with him, since they didn’t have the kids to deal with. “You think Nenad would be mad if I wanted to spend time with you without the kids?”

              Žarko pulled her in tight to him. “He already believes that it’ll take us the whole day to return home. I have plans to do some very pleasurable things to you.”

              She gave a coy gasp. “During the day? You are so bad and totally irresponsible.” The elevator arrived at the bottom floor. When the doors slid open, Žarko held them for her. “I am willing to even take you to your favorite museum first.”

              Josie felt her knees weaken. “We can actually take our time at the Field Museum? If I didn’t already love you, then this would make me really love you.” They both knew that she was totally serious.

              “Will you give me a blow job if I pay for the all access pass?”

              She stopped half way to the car. “In this parking lot if I have to.”

Chapter 19

              A third day of queasiness and Josie knew it was time to get a pregnancy test done. Part of her was scared, because of her past experiences. Žarko seemed intrigued by the idea of having a baby with her, but it wasn’t like they really knew one another.

              It just all seemed so permanent, even more than what they had with him adopting her children just because they didn’t have a dad. Logically, she knew that it would be okay. Žarko loved all the children. The girls were excited about the little ones. There really was no need to be nervous the way that she was, but, it wasn’t as if relaxing was a strong suit.

              She quietly made her way into the bathroom to lose her breakfast before brushing her teeth and rinsing her mouth out with mouthwash. She then returned to the room and threw on some clothing for the day, just so she could take the girls to school, and make a quick stop at the store while Žarko did whatever it was he planned to do during the day.

              The only trouble she would have in purchasing a pregnancy test, probably a couple of them to be sure, was Nenad, the Serbian babysitter who now had been upgraded to her personal driver. She’d wanted to laugh in Žarko’s face for the very command that she would be driven around by someone not him, but that would have been rude, and she was pretty sure that it wouldn’t have achieved anything in the first place.

              She stomped her foot at the thought, even as she struggled to button up her stupid pair of jeans that. Suddenly. Would. Not. Fit. She tore them off her lower half and threw them across the room on the bed, feeling disgusted with herself.

              “What did jeans do to incur your wrath?” she heard her husband say from behind her. She stood with her arms crossed, staring blankly into the closet and tried not to melt when he wrapped his arms around her.

              “They don’t fit.”

              “Ah,” he said, though she could also feel him nodding against the side of her face. His five o clock shadow scrapped against her, making her feel tingly against her will. “How dare those jeans not desire to sit on this body?” He ran his hands up and down her hips. That it forced her behind against him had to be a plus for him.

              She couldn’t help but roll her eyes at that. “I need to put something on so that I can take the girls to school.”

              “So then wear another pair of jeans.”

              Josie gave herself a moment to throw a tantrum. “But I wanted to wear those.” She broke his hold on her so that she could enter the walk in closet to find a loose pair of pants. She did have those yoga pants she used to wear in the early days of her pregnancy with Juljiana didn’t she? Then she remembered that she’d accidently spilled bleach on them, making them unwearable in public. If she wanted to be cute.

              It surprised her when Žarko reached past her to pull out those same pants she’d been looking for. “You should probably wear these. I like them.”

              She took his advice, knowing that she only had a few minutes before she had to leave. She paired the pants with a long purple sleeveless tunic and some white sneakers that she rarely wore. She felt like a teenager, especially with the curly ponytail on top of her head, but if her husband liked it, she loved it.

              “Okay, I’m ready to go.” She turned to her husband, bussed a kiss on his lips and bounced out of the room and downstairs where everyone waited for her.

              Desa took one look at her outfit and declared, “I want an outfit like that.” Ljiljiana’s nodding agreement didn’t make Josie feel better about what she wore.

              But, she sighed and tried to suck it up. “Maybe after school we’ll have time to go to the mall and see what we can buy for you guys. In the meantime,” she glanced at her watch. “We’ve got to get out here before we’re late.” Nenad already held the baby carrier in one hand and her happy, wide awake toddler in the other hand.

              “Bye,
tata
,” the girls and then Josif screamed. Josie shared a smile with her bodyguard. Today was certainly starting out interesting.

              Josie hid the plain brown paper bag underneath the sink in the hallway bathroom, hoping she could hide it better from her husband than in their bedroom upstairs. Nenad, though he should have gone home long ago, wasn’t prone to snooping.

              “Hey, Josie?” she heard him call, just after she finished flushing the toilet and washing her hands in the sink to keep up the ruse of having gone to the restroom.

              She moved toward the family den, where he had both of the kids watching kids programming. Josif lay on the floor, chin sitting in the palm of his hand while his little legs kicked back and forth behind him. Baby Juljiana sat in her play seat, eyes moving from her toys to the television, while Nenad sat on the couch, right on the edge in case he had to stand up quickly.

              Josie stepped down into the room, momentarily concerned. “Was something wrong, Nenad?”

              He turned to look at her over his shoulder. “No. I just wanted you to know that the baby might need diaper changing. I didn’t know if you wanted me to do it or not.”

              Josie smiled. “Thanks for letting me know. I’ll just go change it and then bring her back.” She decided that if Nenad was going to be sticking around then she would take advantage of the break. She wanted to try a really complex recipe, plus, it was probably a great time to actually get started on that book she’d been wanted to write.

              She quickly changed baby Juljiana and, as promised, brought her back to the den where she contentedly played with her toys. Josie then ran to her safe haven in the kitchen to plan out the rest of her day.

              For hours she switched between mixing up ingredients and writing little bits of information on a pad of paper she’d taken to keeping on the corner of the kitchen island. She thought, for once, that she actually had a successful plot going for her book. If she could get up the courage, she was thinking that she actually might be able to come up with a really nice mystery story. It was possible that she could even get a chance to start writing it in a short little bit. Only, the cries of her daughter came closer to the kitchen.

              Josie saw Nenad approaching, carrying a cranky little girl in his arms. “I think she’s hungry. She’s been trying to suck off my face.”

              Josie wiped off her hands. “Oh, poor baby. Come on, let momma feed you.” It wasn’t time for her eat real food, especially since it was almost her nap time too. “I’ll just take care of her and get her down for a quick nap,” she told Nenad. “Josif probably is going to fight it, but if you notice him starting to nod off, just guide him upstairs to his own bed. Don’t tell him that it’s nap time or you’ll have a guaranteed tantrum.”

              “No problem. I know how to deal with the little guy.”

              “tata tdada da,” baby Juljiana said all throughout her bath. Josie loved it.

              “Are you trying to say
tata
,” she said back, only to receive more garbled combinations of
tata
and dada from her daughter. She lifted her daughter from the tub and wrapped her in her bath towel, Juljiana still babbling the whole time. They found Žarko waiting for them in the nursery, the baby’s sleeper and diaper laid out and waiting.

              “Ta da da da da,” Juljiana said, leaning toward him. Josie willingly handed the baby off so that the little one could lavish some attention on her dad.

              “She is almost ready to speak,” he said.

              Josie laughed. “Yeah. It looks like it. She’s been doing that since she woke up from her nap this morning. While Žarko put lotion on the baby and got her dressed, Josie turned her attention to folding the tiny clothing and putting them away in her chest of drawers. “Should I be worried about Nenad hanging around here?” she asked, but not really sure why she did so.

              Žarko kept his concentration on the baby, but she knew he’d heard her. “I would rather be safe than sorry now that you know of this life. Nenad is best man for the job because he knows how to blend in. He can be nanny and guard all at once.”

              She turned to watch him cradling the baby in his arms. She couldn’t imagine how a man with such a violent life could look so natural holding something so tiny in his arms. It really set off such confusing feelings inside of her.

              She sighed. “I know I have to get used to it, but I just want you to know that I’m trying to work through my problems with your life. I’m sure that after a while, I won’t even notice Nenad’s gun. And,” even though she grimaced, she managed to get the words out, “I’ll be happy that Nenad’s presence is going to allow me to work on the book I’ve been wanting to write.” She paused. “Unless you’re expecting him to be more of a sentinel and not a babysitter.” She wouldn’t mind it either way.

              Žarko laid the baby down in the crib before guiding Josie out of the nursery and into their own room. “This is what you want, to write?” Josie nodded. “Then is better for Nenad to help. You can be both mom and writer.”

              She wrapped her arms around his back, holding him tight. “I can also be the best wife.” She lifted to her toes so that she could kiss him. “You make me so happy. I hope you know that.”

              “Good, because that will keep you here with me.”

              It didn’t take much to coax her into the bedroom or to fall into bed, where he was able to entice her body to his will. Juljiana even chose this night to sleep all through the night, making it that much special for Josie because she had absolute uninterrupted time with her husband.

              That morning, she woke up feeling good and sore, but more determined than ever to take the pregnancy test and at least put herself out of her misery. She scooted herself out of the bed and snuck downstairs to the hall bathroom. The brown paper bag she had hidden stayed exactly where she’d left it under the sink.

              Quickly, Josie reread the instructions and did what she had to in order to get an answer. Then sat on the closed toilet seat, biting her nails as she waited for the right amount of time to pass. She even prayed that God would give her the right answer, not even knowing what she wanted that response to be. Did she want to have another baby right now, when she still wasn’t thirty years old? Sure, Žarko was ten years older, so it wouldn’t be a problem for him, but for her, she wondered. Could their brand new relationship actually handle bringing in a new baby to the family?

              “God, I just don’t know what it is we’re thinking. Can Žarko and I actually do this?” Her phone, which she’d set on top of the sink next to the four different tests buzzed, letting her know that her wait was over. Her body began shaking as she gathered the courage together to look at what she pretty much already knew was true. When all four pregnancy tests gave a plus sign, it was time to admit that the Knežević family would welcome a new family member within a matter of months.

              “Oh man,” she told herself quietly, before wrapping up the four tests and tossing them into a plastic bag she then moved to throw away in the large kitchen garbage. She opened the door, surprised to find Žarko standing there shirtless.

              “Why are you down here on a Saturday morning?”

              Josie hid the plastic bag behind her back, nibbling on her lips as she thought of a way of getting out of this. That platinum cross around his neck seemed to mock her, making her feel bad for trying to hide something as important as a pregnancy from her husband. She sighed, before revealing what she hid behind her back. Žarko took it out of her hands, a slight frown on his face. “What is this?”

              “Pregnancy tests,” she said softly. “I was thinking that I might be pregnant because I’ve been feeling kind of sick lately.”

              Žarko tore open the bag, pulling out every single test she had taken and assessed them. “Plus sign is…
da
?”

              She nodded. “
Da
.” The boyish smile she received out of him was totally worth it.

              “We are having
beba
.” He dropped the tests back into the bag and wrapped Josie into a tight hug. “We are having a
beba
.” He kept saying as he pressed kisses against any piece of skin near to him.

              Josie felt her body relax and immediately, the tears of joy began to fall. “You’re really happy about this, aren’t you?” she still felt the need to ask.

              He pulled away from her. She assumed he must have still been able to see her fear because he kept that genuine smile on his face as he said, “Josie. I am not ex. I am looking forward to having
beba
. Juljiana has been asking about it.”

              She had to smile about that. “Oh, really. Baby Juljiana’s being telling you that she wants to be a big sister?”

              “Of course. She is not looking to be the youngest forever.”

              Josie nodded. “I suppose that would make sense, except what happens when this one asks to be a big sibling?”