Life Begins (21 page)

              She shrugged. “Most men don’t give it a thought.”

              “Like ex-husband?”

              She curled her lip like she smelled something nasty. “Why would you ask about him? Is that the reason you’re smiling?” Like it never existed, the smile disappeared from his face.

              He held up a glossy photo of her ex-husband soliciting a hooker off the street. “This is not why I smile. This is why I’m angry.” She approached the desk, feeling as if her husband were drawing her in to him. He held out his hand for her and pulled her onto his lap. “Were you aware that he was sleeping with nasty women?”

              Josie shook her head automatically. “No. I mean, I’d had a feeling toward the end that he was probably cheating, but I had no idea that he was paying for sex.” Oh God, that was just nasty. “I feel so dirty.”

              Žarko pulled her back against him, distracting her briefly with a kiss on the back of her neck. “I did not say this to make you upset. We are both clean, so you are lucky and now safe. I just wondered when this nasty sex would have started.”

              She shrugged. “Who knows? I never took him for the kind that liked grimy girls.” She had a sneer on her face from the thought that she should have been taking STD tests during her first marriage. Then there the acknowledgement that she had been so stupid.
What the hell, Gary
.

              Her husband grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him. “You are safe. I tested before and after marriage. If you had anything I would have caught it and we would have known.”

              She wrapped her hands around her stomach and thought about her two little ones sleeping upstairs, who could have been in danger because of her ex-husband’s actions. “I just couldn’t forgive myself if something happened to the baby.” What if she had given something to Žarko unknowingly? She sighed. “I think I would feel better being tested, just so I can have my own results. Can we go together? I feel like I also need a really hot shower.”

              Žarko hugged her tight to him, kissing her gently on the lips.  “This is why you are perfect woman for me. I will do this thing, if it will give you peace.”

              She nodded. This is why she loved her husband. “You make me really happy,” she told him.

              “I know. You’ve told me.” She had to kiss him just so she wouldn’t be tempted to slap him for always ruining a romantic moment.

Chapter 22

              They got tested. It didn’t matter that the doctor raised an eyebrow at Josie’s insanity, she knew that she had to have her own proof at being disease free. She just didn’t want to find out that something crept up later and could have been avoided, especially as it could have a negative effect on her baby. Then, just because they were in the hospital building, Žarko managed to get Josie an appointment to get a sonogram done to both confirm and allow them to see their baby.

              The experience for Josie was one of total bliss. With her two previous pregnancies, she hadn’t had a husband to hold her hand. Gary had been so resentful that he’d thrown her out of the house, and her mother hadn’t been exactly happy that she chose to let go of her figure for a couple of babies if it meant losing her husband, and so had refused to go to doctor appointments with her.

              It was no surprise then that she got lost in her emotions. As she lay on the table, Žarko at her side, the tears began to flow. “What is wrong?” her husband asked her.

              She wiped away the moisture beneath her eyes with her free hand. “I’m just happy that you’re here. I didn’t have this with Josif and Juljiana.”

              He brushed some of her curls out of her face, his lips turned down in a heavy frown. “You had someone, though, to sit with you,
da
?”

              She shook her head. “Not even when I gave birth. It’s partly why I’m so terrified of doing all this. There’s this part of me that’s afraid that you’ll abandon me in the middle of all this. Like I’m doomed to be a single mother of three kids.”

              “Five,” he said absently.

              She had to laugh a bit that that. “You would let me take Ljiljiana and Desa with me if I left?”

              He gave a slight grunt. “As long as you understand I will go after you.”

              It would defeat the purpose, but she understood what he meant. “As long as you go with me,” she agreed.

              The doctor and technician interrupted the moment. “Good afternoon, Mr. and Mrs. Knežević. I hear we’re here to get a look at a little bun in the oven.”

              Josie noticed that Žarko perked up. “Yes,” she said, feeling her own excitement grow. “We aren’t sure how far along we are yet, but I know that I’ve been feeling weird for about three weeks.” At the doctor’s slight frown she explained. “I’m not exactly a fan of coming to the doctor’s.” In fact, after everything, she downright hated it.

              She glanced at her husband, who scratched at his prickly chin. “Is probably four, maybe five months in. Perhaps very close to amount of time we have been married I am thinking,” he said glancing in her direction. “We are not deeply concerned with birth control from very beginning.”

              The doctor seemed to take in both wedding rings, making Josie begin to feel uncomfortable with how long he assessed them. “Is there a problem, Dr. Tanner?” she asked, after looking at the name on the man’s lab coat. Dr. Tanner, perhaps understanding exactly what her point was, tried to cough the problem away.

              “No. There’s no problem. I just have to get a history on my patients, you know.”

              “And make sure the pregnant black chick isn’t another welfare case, you mean.” She fought to sit up. “Žarko, I don’t want to do my exam at this office. I think we need to choose a better doctor.” Her husband said nothing, but helped her off of the table and hid her as she changed into her regular clothes. She didn’t allow the stuttering apologies of the doctor and his technician sway her decision to leave. She refused to be disrespected when all she wanted was a healthy baby.

              They walked out of the office and straight to the elevator. As soon as the doors closed, Josie released a deep breath. “What an asshole,” she said.

              “If he is insulting you, then he’s worse than an asshole. He’s dead.”

              Josie patted his arm. “It wouldn’t be worth it. We’ll just go to Loyola Hospital. That’s where I had Juljiana.”

              “Whatever you want.”

              She suddenly pouted. “I really wanted to see the baby.” She shuffled forward toward the exit. “It also would have been nice if we could have heard the heartbeat. I love that little whooshing sound.”

              He hugged her to his side, a slight smile tugging on his lips. “I will buy machine and we will work together to hear the heartbeat. Maybe we can share the moment with all the children.”

              She wrapped her arms around her husband until the doors of the elevator reopened and they were allowed to leave this particular clinic. “I think that’s a great idea.” Josie made a mental note to tweet, Facebook post, and Instagram information about Dr. Tanner. She would make sure that no one that she knew would ever choose him to be their doctor. “Let’s go get some food. I’m starving.” Žarko didn’t have much to say about that.

              “Tell me about the court case?” Josie asked her husband over lunch at a Mexican restaurant.

              He dipped a tortilla chip into the small bowl of salsa between them. She had more of an affinity for the fresh made guacamole that the woman had made right in front of them and probably wouldn’t have shared it even if he tried to dip his inside of it. “What is there to discuss? We go to court, tell our side of story and let silly ex tell his, and we go home with babies being ours.”

              Josie sighed, even as she pointed her chip at him. “That’s not what I meant and you know it. He’s suing me more than he is suing you. I just need to know that you have everything covered. I’m scared for the children, because we both know that he’s not doing this out of honest love for them.”

              Her husband glanced around the restaurant, making her nervous that something was wrong. “What happened? What aren’t you telling me?”

              He was silent for a moment, before turning his dark eyes firmly upon her. “Your ex is getting help from your mother. She is looking to be his witness that you have tricked him into walking away from the little ones.”

              Josie collapsed back into her seat. “What? My mother is helping that snake?” She knocked over her glass in her frustration. “What the hell is wrong with her?” Why would she risk their relationship to lie about something like this? She couldn’t even look to her husband for answers, because how could he knew any better than her.

              He shrugged, even as he cleaned up her mess. “Mother is not concern because we know she is lying for personal gain. Harrison is ready to deal with her if testimony comes up. You will have chance to say your story, and knowing that you gave birth twice alone will help neutralize mother’s words. You will just have to take care of new
beba
and let me worry about everything else.”

              They were interrupted by the waitress bringing both of their meals. The savory smell of Mexican spices caused her mouth water and her mind to become distracted by the anticipated taste of authentic tacos. She loved it already, just by smell alone.

              Žarko watched her tearing into her meal, and it didn’t bother her. Good food made the baby happy. And a happy baby made a happy mom. A happy mom wouldn’t go and strangle her mother because of her stupidity. She didn’t even plan to leave anything extra on her plate. She wanted it all in her tummy, Žarko’s food, too since he didn’t seem to stop her fork from dipping into his plate occasionally.

              “We are really hungry today,” he made note.

              She nodded. “It’s got to be the baby. This whole pregnancy has been weird, though, so it can be anything.”

              She watched him wipe his mouth with a napkin. “What do you mean?”

              She shrugged. “I haven’t been sick like I was in the last two pregnancies. I feel like I’m also always starving, something I wasn’t when I carried Juljiana. I’m not worried, because my body feels okay, but I think it’s strange that this pregnancy is so different from my last two.”

              A slight frown tugged at his lips. “Now I am really upset at doctor that did not let us ask our questions. If he were not jerk, we would have answers.”

              She reached across the table to lay her hand over his. “It is what it is. I can also do some internet research and see what others say about their pregnancies. I’m pretty sure that all of this is normal because every baby is different. It could also be because I’m not as stressed this time.”

              She went back to eating her meal. Lack of stress probably is what made this pregnancy easy. She had a husband who was happy to be a father. She had a friend in Nenad, who helped her around the house. She had the girls to distract the little ones when she desperately needed it. And did she mention that she had a great husband? He certainly made sure that her life was easy.

              “I am really happy,” she felt the need to say as soon as she finished her meal. “Part of me keeps feeling like it’s a dream that I’ll wake up from, so there is that bit that’s frightened, but I also feel glad and excited that I’m able to go through all of this with you.

              “Good,” he said with a slight smile. “Having baby should be happy time for women.”

              “It should be happy time for men, too.”

              He pushed his plate empty plate aside. “It is very happy time for me. I am looking forward to having new
beba
. Even though Juljiana is still my
beba
.”

              Josie smiled at that. Her children were so very lucky to have a father like Žarko. He gave them what she’d always desired for her kids, a full time father that loved them and gave them the attention that allowed them to grow into well balanced adults, especially if he continued to keep his professional life separate from his personal one. Josie never wanted her kids to know about the dark parts of society. She wanted them to see the world as a good place, a place that held so many possibilities for them. She wanted her children to believe that they could be a success.

              “I can’t wait to get to a doctor’s appointment so we can see how wonderful our baby is going to be.” Hopefully, it was a boy so that Žarko could have two boys to run around with. The way he treated Josif, she knew that he would make a very good father to another little boy. And, if it were a girl, then still, she didn’t worry for the child’s. He knew how to treat little girls to make them feel safe and happy. And very spoiled.

              Žarko held up his hand for the waitress to bring them the check. “We will call your hospital of choice and make the appointment. Maybe we can go next week when there is also the court date.”

              It wasn’t like she had much of a choice. “Okay. It’s a deal.” Žarko paid for their meal and they left the restaurant together, deciding that it would be best to go home and see what the kids were up to.

              Josie definitely didn’t mind because she had some things that she needed to work out in her mind, namely the betrayal that she felt from her mother. It was so grimy for the woman that gave her life to stand on the side of a jerk like Gary. Did they both hate children so much that they would band together just to ruin the lives of her children? Because at the end, they would be harmed further. “Do you think I should say something?” Josie asked while they drove toward the city. “To my mother, I mean.”

              The car was silent for a long bit, before he gave her an answer. “No. Let her say her thoughts in court and then bury her with facts. After everything is over, we can confront her about her choice to abandon bond with her daughter.

              Josie let out a deep breath. “Why does this seem to be happening to us? Why would they want to do this to the children? I’ve been wracking my brain thinking about it and I still can’t figure it out and it’s driving me insane.”

              Žarko glanced in her direction for only a moment before returning his eyes to the road. “It is selfish. Mother is jealous of your new marriage and that you are happy being with me.”

              And Josie wouldn’t be surprised by that. Her father had run out on them when she was only an infant and for whatever reason, Josie’s mother had never allowed her to forget it. It always felt like, Josie was never supposed to be a mother herself. Like, she should have spent her life being married to Gary, doing nothing but catering to his and her mother’s every whim. Treating her like she was never supposed to be happy.

              “We do not have to stay here in this city, if it is going to be difficult for you. I am willing to move back to Serbia to raise our babies.”

              Josie laughed. “I don’t know that I’m willing to go that far just to get away from my feelings for my mother. I find myself completely attached to this wonderful city, even with all the violence.”

              He grunted. “It is still open option.”

              She stared at her husband, knowing that he was completely serious. She would bet anything that he hadn’t originally planned to remain in the United States. He was too proud of his heritage. “Do you want to go back home to your country?”

              He slowly nodded. “It was always plan to go elsewhere, but I am finding that I am willing to be flexible with this moving. I just would like to show my children where is home.” It caused Josie to smile, even knowing that it was pointless to remind Žarko that her children were both American citizens.