Life In The Palace (21 page)

We sat at compass points around the table. I wondered if Seth would move his chair closer to mine, but he didn’t.

What do I say? Hi nice to meet you, I’m the girl that’s screwing your son? Is that what they think of me? I’m sure Seth would say not. Will they like me better than Emily? He must have brought her here. Was she one of the People? I’ve never asked. I bet she was. She was perfect in every way except for the ways that she wasn’t. Are they waiting to see if I’ll make the Quest so as not to mess up their lovely family?

Seth looked around at all the food on the table and laughed, “Mom, I told you we were eating on the way down.”

His mother smiled. “Stopping and grabbing a burger at a drive-thru is not eating dinner. It’s a long drive, what would Chloe think of us if she arrived and I had nothing to offer her?”

“Seth packed us a delicious picnic,” I replied loyally.

“Will you take anything? The apple and date loaf is really very good.” She reached out a knife to cut it.

Since my unknowing future mother-in-law was offering me, I’d have eaten anything, but against all expectations I was actually hungry. I let her make me a plate and a fruit tea while Seth’s Dad filled him in on the latest work drama.

I was only halfway through the plate when Seth’s Dad noticed me stifling a yawn. “Carol, it’s past eleven, perhaps it’s time to show Chloe her room?”

Instantly, Mrs. Wilks was on her feet apologizing for not taking me up earlier.

“It’s ok. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I slept for a couple of hours in the car.”

Seth carried our bags and we followed behind her upstairs.

“I put you in the blue room, Chloe. The bathroom’s next door. There are extra sheets and blankets here in this cupboard. I know there’s nothing worse than being cold in someone else’s house. Jerry’s working tomorrow, so he’ll be up and out, but I’ll be here to give you breakfast before I go to yoga.”

I glanced at Seth.

“We’re going to see Chloe’s friend at Harvard on Sunday so don’t count on us for lunch then.” Seth said quickly.

“I remembered, but of course, we’ll eat together tomorrow night and Saturday lunch.” It might have been a question, but I’m pretty sure it was an instruction. “Seth can help you find anything else you need, Chloe. Sleep well.” She headed back downstairs.

As soon as she’d passed out of sight, Seth pulled me into him. I let myself be comforted by his familiar smell and firm chest.

I yawned again. He laughed and stroked my cheek.

“Where’s your room?” I asked.

“Right here,” he motioned to the door next to mine. “Perfect for bedtime kisses.”

I nodded sleepily. I certainly wasn’t planning anything else. We walked into my room and I started rummaging through my bag for my bed things.

Suddenly I looked up, “Where’s your sister? Isn’t she supposed to be here?”

At first I got only a chuckle in response. I waited for an explanation.

“Yes, she is supposed to be here. I’m guessing since no one told us where she is, it means she’s somewhere they don’t want her to be and we’re all ignoring it. My parents are a bit like that. Let you know exactly what they think you should be doing, but instead of yelling if you don’t comply, they just let the guilt eat away at you. It’s much more effective than shouting matches.”

“What’s Susie up to that’s so risqué?”

“Who knows? I guess we’ll work it out tomorrow.”

I’d found my toiletry bag. “I think I’m going to wash up.” He stood and walked me out.

The bathroom was pristine and as white as fresh snow. It was hard to imagine that anyone sullied it by doing anything as radical as actually using it.

When I got back to my room it was empty. I turned off the overhead light and was just getting into bed by the light of the small reading lamp next to the bed when there was a light knock on the door.

Seth was wearing blue and white striped pajama pants and a white t-shirt. I’d never seen him sleep in actual pajamas before.

“Nice outfit,” I smiled.

Seth walked in and shut the door behind him. “You got new pj’s yourself.” Mine were pale pink and indeed brand new.

“A present from my Aunty last birthday. I’ve been waiting for an occasion to use them.”

He led me over to the bed.

“Are your parents still up?”

“No, they went to bed as soon as we came up. They’re old. I think Dad was relieved when he had an excuse to cut things short.” Seth pulled back the covers and jumped into bed.

I hesitated, “I feel weird. This is your parents’ house.”

“Chlo, I’m not going to seduce you. If we’re to be on our best public behavior, I’d like to get some private time.”

I looked at him confused.

Quietly he said, “I’d like to hold you.” Now I understood.

I slipped in with him and snuggled up close. In the unfamiliar bed, in my new and slightly stiff pajama’s, I felt like I was home.

It might have been the happiest day of my life. Seth had this idea that he had to show me Boston. It’s a beautiful city and very walkable. We wandered the picturesque streets looking vaguely at period buildings. From time to time he’d stop me and point out some area of local interest.

“Did you memorize the guidebook?” I asked the third time we stopped.

Seth laughed, “I like to be prepared.”

We stopped and sat on a park bench. The trees still had some leaves and the sun washed through making patterns on the cobbled street in front of us.

Seth waved his cigarette pack at me in his usual inquiry. It was the first time he’d let go of my hand since we parked the car.

“What would you do if some time I said no, you can’t smoke?” I asked as he lit up.

He stopped to think about it.

“Not smoke.”

“Does that mean I’m facilitating your habit by acquiescing?”

He cocked his head to one side. “Nope, sometime I’m going to give up. I’d do it if you asked, but you’re not going to ask, not now.”

“How do you know I won’t ask?”

He looked at me with half a smile. “You’ve never asked me for anything.”

“I haven’t?” I was surprised.

“Nothing real. Pass the peas; can we meet at four instead of three, but nothing big.”

Now it was my turn to think. “I guess I haven’t. There’s not much I want to be different.”

I watched an old lady walking her miniature poodle across the street.

“What have you asked me to do?” I asked after a minute.

He smiled, “Put up with smoking.”

I rolled my eyes at him.

“Stay with me,” he said looking down.

“Yeah, that’s been really hard.” My voice was a tsunami of sarcasm.

“You were pretty sold on Tal’s version of the world.”

“Until she turned out to be crazy. I don’t think that choosing you over her was a major sacrifice.”

“I hope not,” he said way too seriously.

He stubbed out the cigarette and I slid closer to him along the bench. He slipped his arm around me and we sat there in our perfect moment. With the sun warming my skin, the love of my life holding me, watching the world pass by, I could have stayed there forever.

“Who’s coming to dinner tonight, just us, your parents and Susie?” I asked.

“Could be my grandparents also, but I think they’re coming for lunch tomorrow.”

“So we have to do the big family meal thing twice?” I cringed slightly.

“Be glad I vetoed my Uncle Dan and his family being invited,” Seth laughed.

“Are you being serious?” I was appalled.

“My Mom was when she suggested it.”

“What’s the big deal?”

“Mom’s into family and she’s not stupid. I haven’t shown up with a girl in years and she heard from Josh that I’d wanted to bring you for the Day of Accounting. Josh told her he thinks you’ll make the Quest, so she’s putting two and two together and getting forty-five.” He played with a loose strand of hair just behind my left ear. I was too comfy to turn and look, but I thought I heard him smiling.

“Since when was Josh our official spokesperson?” I was slightly put out.

“That’s just how things work in our family. My parents like to keep close tabs on us, but not necessarily be seen to invade our privacy, so they just ask the other kids what the deal is. Often we work it to our advantage and advocate for each other. I’m sure Josh only said you’d make the Quest to calm Mom down.”

“She’d mind if I didn’t?” I turned enough so I could see his face.

He stroked my cheek with the hand holding the hair. It tickled but his hands were soft.

“Maintaining our culture matters to her, as long as we go through the right motions, then it’s all sweet.”

“But if I stayed an Other she wouldn’t accept me?” I gave a little head move to emphasize “other.”

Seth sighed, “She’d be sad, but she’d accept it. She’s not Serving, she didn’t raise us to Serve so what does she expect?”

I was getting annoyed, “Does everyone agree with Tal? I’m not good enough for anyone.”

“What the-?” He twisted me to face him. “Where is this coming from?”

I tried to look away.

“Who said you’re not good enough? This isn’t about being good enough. It’s about belonging to the right football team. Mom wants to think we maintained our ethnic heritage, so jump through the right hoops and finished. If it makes you crazy, forget it. I don’t need you to do anything. I don’t want any confusion over here. I want you just the way you are. It will make my parents happy if you go through the process, but I don’t care.”

“It won’t make you happy?” I asked quietly.

“It would be nice, it makes things neater, but it’s not worth getting stressed out about. I thought you wanted to do it?” he squinted at me.

“I do,” I said begrudgingly. “It’s just different choosing to do it, or not being accepted if I don’t.”

Seth nodded, “I hear that. Can we forget we had this conversation?” he wrapped his arms tightly around me.

“Sure. But for the record, I appreciate that you’re not asking me to do it, anything I do will be my own free unpressured choice.”

We sat for a little while and then returned to wandering the streets.

“How do you know your way around here so well? Do you have an ex living in one of these million dollar townhouses?” I teased.

“I spent a lot of time wandering the streets in high school.”

“Anything not to be home?” I asked.

“Not quite. I had a lot on my mind. I think better when my feet are moving.”

“Did you find your answers?” I rubbed the palm of his hand with my thumb.

He smiled, “As many as I needed.”

We walked a bit more in silence.

“It was a funny time. My parents were doing their whole midlife crisis thing. Mom said she needed to assert her identity.” He rolled his eyes. “No one made her a stay home mom for the fifteen years previous, but all of a sudden she was on some big feminist crusade. Dad started dyeing his hair and bought a Porsche. For a while we thought he was sleeping with his secretary, but I don’t think he really was.”

“We?” I interjected.

“Me, Josh and Susie; we weren’t exactly discussing it with Mom. I don’t think Dad would actually do anything quite so clichéd. Anyway, they were busy falling apart right as they’re telling me to go to college and follow in their footsteps.”

I chuckled, “I bet that was fun. How come you did it anyway?”

“I did and I didn’t. Going to college is the smart thing to do, flipping burgers wasn’t such a productive form of rebellion. But I did it because I worked out it’s what I wanted to do.”

“Where does the band fit in?”

Seth smiled broadly. “I get a little bit of rebellion, don’t I?”

We were heading gradually downhill. I was glad that Seth knew where we were heading.

“Is the band the big thing?”

He stopped walking and looked me straight in the eye, “I don’t think so, sometimes life surprises you and the big thing catches you unawares.”

“Spike told me a few weeks ago that life is always never going to be the same so you might as well just get on with it and do whatever you want.”

“It’s going to be interesting to meet Spike on Sunday.”

“Yeah, I’m not sure if I’m looking forward to the big meeting moment. You two know way too much about each other.”

We turned a corner and started walking down a main street lined with small boutiques and antique shops.

“Are you worried we won’t get on?”

“No, not quite. You’re both social enough to pass the time of day. It just feels like worlds colliding.”

“And you want me to go meet your parents?” He joked.

“I am much less concerned about you meeting my parents than about you meeting Spike.”

He waited for me to reach the next thought.

“Remember the day we got together?”

The look on his face said that he did very well.

“Besides ambushing me and declaring your undying love, you also asked me something; how Spike was Stacy? I think you meant did my relationship to Spike have the same function in my life as my relationship with Stacy. There was way too much going on that day for me to give it much thought at the time, but since then I’ve been thinking about it.”

His eyes told me to go on.

“If Stacy was the sun then Spike was the stars. I mean I used my relationship with Spike as a compass point as much as I did with Stacy. Is that what you were getting at when you asked me?”

Seth smiled conspiratorially, “Something like that.”

“It’s been a good lesson for me, being your girlfriend.”

He looked bemused, “How so?”

“This could have just been another one of those relationships. I could have just followed the same pattern and added ‘Seth’s girlfriend’ as my identity, together with ‘Stacy’s sister’ and ‘Spike’s best friend.’ ”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I’d like to say I outgrew it, with a side serving of it would have been so predictable, and also, it would have cheapened something that meant much more.”

Seth nodded approvingly.

“Basically, I found who I was among the things I was expected to be. In fact, I think I got to a similar place as you with much less walking.”

“Congrats. Although off topic, do you want to do lunch?”