Life Over Love (6 page)

9

“
H
urry up guys’ mommy has to be ready in twenty minutes!”  Brianna scurried around the little room, rummaging around, trying to get the kids clothes together.  That was no easy task considering they still had the majority of their possessions in trash bags. She hated trying to get ready like that, when she felt rushed, and unorganized.
           It seemed like she couldn’t get her hands on anything she needed and it didn’t help that she had overslept, and Brody hadn’t.  She woke up only because he was jabbing her eyeball out with her lipstick.
          Her eyes had popped open, she’d bounded out of bed, and nearly tore the clock out of the wall trying to see what time it was. Her relief had only lasted for about a minute, because after she sat the clock back on the little desk she noticed shimmery purple stuff on her hand, and all the way down her arm. Brianna groaned aloud and looked at the ceiling.
           She had spun around and lunged towards Brody. He squealed and bounced cheerfully out of reach. To him the game was on, Brianna stood back up pretending to give up.  She groaned loudly when she noticed all her makeup strewn all over the bed, shimmery eye shadows were smeared all over the white sheets, the tip of her lipstick had broken when he’d poked her eye with it.
            Realizing that he was poised to draw on the wall with what was left of the tube, she caught him up real quick, and popped him soundly on his bottom.  His indignant wail had successfully woke Chelsea, and that’s pretty much the way Brianna’s entire morning continued.
           She cursed herself for not laying out their clothes, but just as soon thanked the lord that she hadn’t or else her outfit would have ended up covered in makeup along with everything else in the room.
           Her mom was coming to take her to court and watch the kids.  She finally managed to get the kids dressed, asked Mrs. Candy to keep an eye out, and while they ate she ran back to get ready. After fixing her hair, she tried to salvage what she could of her makeup, sadly all that survived were her mascara and eyeliner.  She applied both and checked her reflection in the mirror. 

She still loved her hair, it looked almost as good as when Dominique had fixed it.  She didn’t have time to primp so she put on the two piece dress suit her mom had sent.
          The outfit was a black stretched knit, form fitted knee length pencil skirt, with a matching top, and the quarter length sleeves had a white cuff that matched the white collar.  She felt sophisticated and feminine all at once, and her black suede heels with the white rose embellishment were the perfect accessory.
          She felt and looked like a woman who was secure and rarely had any doubts, but her insides were a mess.  She was pleased with her appearance, Brianna hoped to make Mike regret everything, and let him see how much better off she was without him. She thought it odd that she wanted him to want her, and she wanted very much to be the one in control for once.  Brianna wasn’t the spiteful or vindictive type, but she was eager to see Mike suffer at her hands.
            She grabbed her files and purse before walking out of their room.  “Thanks Mrs. Candy, I was this close to pulling my hair out this morning!”  Brianna hugged her tight. “No problem hun, you take care now, and I wanna hear all about it when you get back.” Brianna tidied up the kids, and together they hustled to the library to meet Brianna’s mom.

Mary was
anxiously waiting when they walked up, but she was caught by surprise when Brianna came into view.  She hadn’t seen Brianna so radiant in years.  Oh the nerves were there, but Brianna had gained a few healthy pounds, her angular face looked softer, and the hollows around her eyes were less pronounced erasing that haunted look she had worried about the last time she had seen her.
           Brianna’s face was flushed pink from the walk and she seemed to glow from inside out. Her eyes danced when she saw her mom, whereas for so long they’d seemed weary and dull.  Brianna was so excited to be with family again, she impulsively hugged Mary, spinning around like a school girl, she modeled. “So what do you think?”
           Mary smiled, “you look beautiful baby, and I love your hair!”  Not to be upstaged “What about me nana, I have purple sparkly shoes.”  Chelsea was spinning with her head down, enjoying the dizzying effect while showing off her shoes.  Mary knelt down, “you are the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen, come here give nana some sugars.”  Chelsea bounced towards her nana and after all the hugs and praises were finished, they drove back to the town they’d left a little over a month ago.

Mike was excited to see Brianna again, but he had been nervous all morning.  Although he had been making one hundred percent more of an effort, cleaning the house, and going to work, and all he’d still been drinking more than eating, and it showed. 
           He had wanted to be at his best for today, so he hadn’t stayed up too late, he’s shaved, wore his best clothes, and hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol for two days.  His shirt hung a little too loose on his shoulders from the weight he’d lost, and he would’ve given anything for a beer. 
           The moment her black suede heels passed by his line of vision by the spot on the floor where he’d been staring, he forgot all about the beer. Mike’s breath caught in his chest. He allowed his gaze to travel up to those feminine ankles, along the length of her shapely legs, soft rounded hips hugged by the black skirt, the new fullness of her breasts, and finally her pink cheeks.
              He’d seen that blush before and it gave him hope. He wanted more than anything to reach out to her, and wrap his arms around her once again. He wanted to cry into her soft hair and beg her to take him back, and he would have if there weren’t a judge and fifteen other people in the room.
     Brianna had blushed under the heat of his stare, but only because she could actually feel his thoughts.  Once upon a time all he had to do was look at her like that and she’d melt.
            That was the past, and all that mattered to her now was the future, and she knew she had no room in her future for him, as anything other than the biological father of her children.
           The moment she realized that she was enlightened, she felt strong and sure. Her eyes twinkled when she defiantly met his stare.  She gave him a small polite smile and nodded in greeting.
             Her bold stare put Mike at a loss. He felt the nerves again, like his heart was a bird fluttering in his chest.  He could barely concentrate on the proceedings because she stood so near that he could smell the sweet pea scented conditioner she favored.
            The judge had to repeat questions to him more than once, and before he knew what had even happened they were being dismissed, it was over. The protective order was granted and his life was over.
            He looked wildly around the room, “wait your honor, wait! It’s over, just like that! I’m not allowed to see my wife, my kids?! I can’t say anything to stop this?  I have some stuff I’d like to say, your honor, judge, sir.”
     Mike had trailed off with the word sir, Brianna who had nearly made it to the door was once again facing him, and he had looked pleadingly into her eyes while he’d spoken to the judge. 

His honor took a look at the young couple and answered “son, it’s
not permanent, however you are ordered to stay at least 100 feet away from her for the next forty five days.  She will most likely be taking that time to get her life settled.  I suggest you take this time to get some help. I assume her next step will be to file for divorce, if you have any hopes of salvaging any form of a relationship with this young lady, it would be in your best interest to seek counseling.  The best thing for you to do right now is to keep your distance, do you understand?”
           Mike was afraid to look away from Brianna even for a second, but he did.  He nodded and mumbled “yes, sir”. Quickly looking back towards the door, hoping she would still be there. 
           The disappointment evident by the sudden sagging of his shoulders, he seemed as if to be carrying a heavy load on his back. The empty doorway only confirmed what he had already known, she was gone.

B
rianna cried as she sprinted back towards the car, she took off the heels, and practically ran the rest of the way.  She was glad to find that Mary and the kids were still at the park by the square.
          She was crying because she wasn’t as cold hearted as she’d hoped.  She had wanted to hate him. To revel in his broken pride, she had thought she’d feel great, but instead all she felt was sorrow. There was no room in her heart for hate, filled as it was with pity and sadness.
          He had once been the love of her life.  Comparing the boy so full of hopes and dreams to the man defeated and listless, was heart breaking.  She grieved for the boy whose side she had never wanted leave, and she mourned the loss of that love. 
            Brianna used the rest of the time that she had alone in the car relaxing and letting her emotions play themselves out.  She felt at peace with the way things had turned out and knew that it still wasn’t over until the divorce proceedings were a thing of the past.
           She was reapplying her mascara when Mary got back with the kids.  Mary loved to see Brianna looking so fresh faced and happy.  They spent the rest of the afternoon together. Brianna confided her plans and hopes to Mary who just listened, and enjoyed hearing the sound of her daughter chatter on like she had as child.
           After seeing her and the kids her heart felt more at ease.  She had worried about Brianna being thrown into single parenthood, with two small children, and the added stress of having to get so much done in such a narrow time frame could prove to be too much.    However sitting back, looking at Brianna, prettily describing her plans for the future, had her chastising herself for not having enough faith. Clearly Brianna would be just fine.

10

D
ays turned into weeks and the time seemed to evaporate before Brianna’s eyes. Brianna was relentless in her search for a job.  She made sure to get an early start each day

. She
alternated between three dressy outfits, wearing tennis shoes until they approached the doors. Then she would switch them out and stroll inside, kids and all.  Nine times out of ten, the supervisors would say they weren’t hiring, the rest made empty promises to call. 
              She understood that they took one look at them and saw someone who would have trouble finding child care, it was a catch twenty two, and she needed an apartment to settle them in school and a job to get the apartment.
              Brianna was feeling particularly discouraged when she happened by the Dominique’s salon and decided to stop in for a while, even to just take a load off.  Dominique excitedly waved her over, Chelsea hopped around the salon, complementing all the pretty ladies, and Brody was sound asleep in the stroller.
              “Hey girl, I’m so glad to see you again!” Dominique moved some magazines off the chair next to her station and told her to sit. Her client didn’t even look up from her magazine. So Brianna sat down and told her everything.
              When she relayed the bit about crying like a baby afterwards she asked “Do you think that’s crazy, I mean why I even care how he feels?” Dominique clicked her tongue before answering “No girl, I think that’s perfectly normal. He may have behaved like an ass, but you have those two babies over there, made from love. Letting something like that, it hurts.” Brianna nodded in agreement. Dominique had a way of talking so plain that complicated things became simple.
              “So what are y’all up to today, just walking around town?” Brianna answered casually, but sighed anyhow. “Um nooo, I was job hunting, but I think the stroller and passengers are a big red flag for potential employers.”  Brianna swung back and forth the way Chelsea always did in the rotating chairs.  “I’m going to have to change it up soon though, our time at the shelter is almost up, and I haven’t saved a dime.”
              “I could take ‘em sometime for you, my twin girls would probably really hit it off with Chelsea!”  She didn’t want to take advantage of her friend and said as much. She went on to explain “I’m just venting anyways, my mom is coming tomorrow to give me ride and baby sit for a while.  I’m going to see if Wal-Mart is hiring, how do you think I’ll look in blue?”  She gave her best pin up pose. Dominique laughingly called her a nut!
             When their visit was over Brianna hugged her friend. “Wish me luck tomorrow, Wal-Mart is my favorite store, and I do want to get our kids together for a play date soon, ok.”  Dominique waved her friend off, and said a silent prayer that she would get that job.
              Mary had an appointment, couldn’t be there until 2p.m.  And Brianna didn’t want to waste any time, so she left early as usual anyways.  They stayed close to the railroad tracks. It took an hour and a half to make it there and when they got into the cool doors all three needed to stop by the bathroom to freshen up.
           Both children were hot, tired, and fussy. The weather was unseasonably warm for October, it could have just as easily passed for August the way they were all sweating.  Brianna was seriously reconsidering talking to a manager or even sitting at the dang kiosk. “Excuse me, hi those are beautiful babies you have there.” The lovely red head noticed the fatigue in all their faces as she washed her hands at the sink.
            Brianna still managed a sincere smile while struggling to hold the squirming toddler up to the sink. Chelsea popped out from under the stall, danced a jig around the lady’s legs and started singing her complaints for the whole bathroom audience to hear.
           In a sing song voice she chanted “We are hot hot hot, Brody hates the stroller a lot lot lot, Mommy won’t stop, stop, stop, and get us some ice-creaaaaam!” The woman laughed at the theatrical little girl, she also noticed the blush and embarrassment felt by the mother. 
             She held Brianna’s gaze in the mirror when she said “they are darling.” Brianna thanked her “we’ve been walking all day, and now I kind of wish we’d stayed home.”  The lady smiled sympathetically and said “we all have days like that.”  She bent down and handed two stickers to Chelsea, reminded her to share them with her brother, and bid them good afternoon.
              Feeling somewhat refreshed, Brianna bought the kids their precious ice-cream and decided now’s as good a time as any to fill out that application.  Sitting on the bench in the back of the store she filled out the forms.
            Thankfully the kiosk was down and she could take her time on the papers.  By the time the kids were finished with their ice-creams they were badly in need of another cleansing trip to the restroom, and Brianna was ready to turn in the application.
            She handed it in to the older grumpy lady behind the counter.  What she’d been too busy to see while filling out the paperwork with her head down, was the lady she’d met in the bathroom, passing by on her way to her office behind the double doors. 
           Feeling like that had been a huge waste of time since she’d had no way of knowing that as soon as she walked away,  the red headed lady made a point of scooping up her application, and carrying it into her office.   Brianna sulked to the service desk to use the phone and call her mom.
She was too tired to walk home and thanked God for small miracles when she learned the Mary was already on the way and only a fifteen minute drive away.