Lilah (34 page)

Beatrice pulled Lilah towards her in a showy
embrace but the younger was reticent, unable to reciprocate the gesture. She
appeared slightly
intimidated
as most are the first
time they meet Beatrice.

‘How lovely,’ said Beatrice admiring her
granddaughter. ‘Marco will show you to your rooms. You must be tired,’ she
directed at Lilah.

Lilah did not answer. She looked around her at
the large paintings on the walls and the smaller portraits above the
mantelshelf, hoping for another window into her past. One such portrait caught
her eye, depicting Andrew, Beatrice’s husband.

‘That is your grandfather my dear,’ she said,
indifferently. ‘He did not inherit his father’s witchcraft. Very unlucky.’

Lilah looked at Beatrice warily.

The portrait showed Andrew on a throne wearing
a jewel-encrusted crown and a blue tunic. He looked as I remembered him, cold
and distracted. I could not see why Beatrice married such a man, other than
fame and royal connections. I have suspected for years that the king’s former
wife may not have come to a natural end. By any means, Beatrice often achieved
her aim. Andrew’s other sons, from this previous marriage, distrusted Beatrice,
which may have been for good reason.

‘Have a look at the next portrait my dear
girl,’ said Beatrice huskily.

Lilah stared at the face of her father. She bore
some resemblance, though Stephen was much fairer like his father.

‘My father,’ she said with solemn acceptance.

‘You are thinking that he abandoned you.’

‘I know that he abandoned me,’ she responded.
‘There is no other description.’

‘Oh. I see,’ said Beatrice. ‘Later we can talk.
For now please go upstairs. A bath has been poured for you to freshen and I
have left a new dress for you.’

Chapter 15

Beatrice

The girl, my granddaughter, was most
unusual. She was graceful in appearance with her witch-like youth and small
breasts hidden beneath her bodice, which also accentuated her slim figure. From
the way Gabriel looked at her I could tell straight away that he was
infatuated. I was a little envious. He never looked that way at me, but I could
hardly expect otherwise. It was not like I was ever faithful. It was why we
were drawn together in the first place. He was the eternal philanderer so this
new state I found him in was perplexing. She was interesting but not as
beautiful as me. How else to describe her: unaffected and charming perhaps in a
deer-like way. Her life had become a tedious dedication to all things pure. I
couldn’t think of anything worse. She relied on God to guide her. Pooh! No such
thing, of course. One made it happen as I have done.

I did not love poor Andrew and slept with
others while we were together, even his brothers, but most assuredly Stephen
was
his
child. I made sure of it. Most witches cannot be bothered but I
wanted to birth a child of my own and legitimately a royal one. However, after
Andrew died my monarchial aspirations ceased and I sought out Lewis to convert.
I have lived through my first sleep in the earth until my ageing personal
assistant woke me as instructed. I had thought that perhaps I would have a son
willing to convert also, to keep me company. He thought no such thing. It
wasn’t that he didn’t love me of course, or accept me as his mother, but he
found God early and chose a life of piety. Unfortunately my taking him to
Venice meant he found that silly puffed up wife also.

Much to my disappointment they married and
lived with me for a time. After he died, I was melancholy and went to sleep.
When I awoke Tomasina had departed with her other child. I had been against
Lilah going and could have stopped it but have never been able to deny Stephen
anything. Seeing Lilah again, I can see my son. For that reason alone I think I
could love her. Though, many who know me would laugh that I was capable of such
sentiment.

I had thought many times of retrieving
Stephen’s bones but at his bedside promised him I would not try and revive him
with the dark arts as he often referred to it. I reflect that perhaps he was a
child born of woe and happiest on the day he knew he would die. My Stephen.
My one regret.
To make absolutely certain that no
resurrection would occur, Tomasina had dug up his bones while I slept and taken
them with her. I was angry and tried to read her mind but Stephen had taught
her some tricks and she did not reveal. If not for Stephen’s son I would have
killed her then.

Lilah looked back as she mounted the stairs.
She was afraid to be parted from Gabriel.

‘She is quite extraordinary,’ I said.

‘Yes,’ she is.

‘You are fighting a dangerous game you cannot
win.’

‘Whatever are you talking about Beatrice?’

‘You want her yet she is married to a powerful
strigoi. Are you sure you can win her and not come out unscathed.’

‘I will not do anything stupid. Since when do
you care?’

‘Oh, perhaps I do. I do not want everyone for
myself. I knew I could never hold your attention too long. Which is why I am
surprised. Does she know that you desire her?’

‘It is best left unspoken between us. I have
already broken her heart once and now there is a child. I cannot risk her
life.’

‘Oh yes, the child. I had a vision about her
the other day. She will run the coven one day.’

Gabriel’s eyes widened and he looked pale. ‘It
is not possible. Lilah plans to steal her child away. Perhaps you are
mistaken.’

‘Perhaps I am,’ I said. ‘I am surprised that my
son did not bring himself back from the dead to rescue his daughter from her
happenstance.’

‘No need to rub salt in my wound.
There are many times I have thought
that I should have taken her elsewhere. I have often wondered whether my
decision was partly borne from my sometime selfish soul.’

‘Soul? Darling, we have no soul once we’ve
changed,’ said Beatrice ironically. ‘Have you not heard the gypsy stories?’

He laughed then and it was as if no time had
gone between us.

‘Lewis it seems is mellowing these days. He
looks after her well.’

‘It is perhaps his age. Once he sleeps she may
try and leave but it will not matter. He will find her or they will return. I
would say send her to me but it is the first place Lewis will come to.’

We talked then of the past. I must admit the
news from the coven was always dull but Gabriel was easy on the eye and just
looking at him made me feel alive. But always the subject of Lilah returned.

‘You must tell her about her father. It should
come from you, Beatrice. At least then I have not done everything against
Stephen’s word.’

‘As you wish.’

‘She does not trust you yet. So go carefully.’

‘No,’ I said. ‘I will do as I wish Gabriel, as
I have always done. Remember she came to me not the other way round. I have
nothing to lose, least of all a relationship my granddaughter does not seek.’

Lilah

The walls in my room were papered
with olive coloured flowers between yellowing stripes of cream. The wallpaper
peeled in the corners and
hand prints
marked the
furniture, which had not been dusted in months. The curtains had similar
stripes and the rugs, though once extravagantly thick, were threadbare in
places. It was clear that money was not wasted on unoccupied rooms. I put on
the dress she laid out for me. It was simple, not overdone with frippery:
midnight blue, without trim, and the skirt fell full from the waist to the
earth. She was aware of my taste.

There was a knock at the door and Beatrice
entered carrying a tray of food. I was surprised that a woman in her position
would participate in such a menial task. But then I had to remind myself. This
was no ordinary woman and I should tread carefully.

‘You have come seeking answers about your
father.’

I nodded.

‘Then I will tell you this. Stephen did not
abandon you as you think. He was misguided by his piety, which ultimately sent
him mad with melancholy. His desire for you was to live a life hidden from our
society. I tried to tell him he was making a mistake; you cannot hide a witch
from their true form. As you have seen, your skills have formed much of your destiny.’

Her voice was sultry and rhythmic, making it
easy to listen to her, and harder to disbelieve as she told me that my father
had made a difficult decision to send me away, and that everything he did was
out of love. Although, she added, it was not as she would have had it.

I did not appreciate his choices but neither
did I hate him further. Was I not going through a similar turmoil with the
future of my own child? I only wished that my father had chosen to keep me so
that we could have fought our destinies together.

‘And what of my father?’

‘He is dead, his heart too broken to continue.’

Dead?
This statement was so abrupt and emotionless I
thought at first that I had misheard. I looked at her with my hands clenched
awaiting further disclosure with which to hang some hope. Her words hung in the
air between us as if the reality of them would never reach solid ground. It was
only when she lowered her eyes – a sign of regret and the truth –
that sadness filled me, spilling into tears.  She handed me a piece of
linen and many moments passed in silence.

‘Don’t be too hard on Gabriel for not telling
you this,’ I said. ‘He finds it hard to be the bearer of bad news. Such is his
weakness and a weeping woman will not do for good company. It is but a small
flaw and overshadowed by mostly good intent.’

‘And my mother? What of her?’

‘Hmm,’ Beatrice rolled her eyes. ‘She is a
shallow thing. I should have killed her before their marriage but he would have
known. He had the skill of foretelling too. You look shocked but it is not the
first time I have killed, politically and selfishly. You see my dear, strigoi
are a mostly selfish lot. It’s why we’re still here. If we had a conscience
about our fellow humans we would have died out a long time ago.’

If nothing else, Beatrice was frank telling me
also of her history with Gabriel – that they were more than friends. I
was shocked not just with her honesty
but
with the
thought that my grandmother was once his lover. ‘Strigoi cannot look at each
other in terms of age. We are eternal.’ She did not elaborate about the
relationship but she didn’t have to. I knew enough of Gabriel and his wandering
ways to fill in the missing pieces in her story. There seemed nothing malicious
in these comments or a need to own him, rather I felt that in some strange way
she was handing him over to me and perhaps her desire to have no more secrets
come between us. Though the latter seemed unusual for a woman as calculating as
Beatrice.

‘And where is my mother?’

‘It is best to forget her and your brother.’

The title
brother
snapped me back to the
injustice once more; the realisation that my family was taken from me
unnecessarily despite all she said.

‘Where are they?’

‘Venice, where they belong! Back with my
daughter-in-law’s family thank goodness.’

‘And is my brother a witch?’

‘If he is, he is but a weak one and perhaps
will never know and neither will Tomasina speak it.’

‘I must go to them.’

‘It is not wise.’

‘Surely they cannot reject me.’

She raised her eyebrows bemusedly. ‘As you wish
but don’t say I didn’t warn you.’

‘I must see Gabriel.’

‘He is gone for the hunt and I am off to join
him.’

I felt a moment of panic that he would leave me
here alone.

‘Please tell him I wish to leave early in the
morning and if he will accompany me, I must go to Venice.’

‘Farewell then,’ she said and swept her skirts
out of the room.

Beatrice

When I had entered Lilah’s room I
knew that the announcement may shock her but I did not predict such affection
towards her. I suffocated the overwhelming desire to pour open my regret that I
did not save my son, to purge my soul of its grief. The girl had awakened
sorrow that I thought buried with Stephen, and we had shared feelings that I
did not wish to return to. She may not have recognised our bond but I knew that
our lives were now aligned.

It was also during these moments that I had
seen far ahead. Lilah will sacrifice much like her father. She will give up
everything for the ones she loves. But it will not end there and at some point
we will be allies, and although I enjoyed my self-indulgent carefree days, I
also looked forward to the future.

This isn’t the last time we will meet, sweet
Lilah
, I whispered
to her thoughts.

And now to move on: to erase this night with
more pleasantries. The past had its place and the present must be celebrated.