Lilah (36 page)

The thick air disintegrated around me and once
again I was back in the room with the others.

‘Are you alright?’ asked Gabriel.

‘I feel poorly,’ I replied.

I looked at them afraid of what I had just seen.
‘She is perfect,’ I said to the mother who beamed with pride. The men then
fussed around me before escorting me to a room where I would once again sleep
with Gabriel.

My head pounded and exhaustion began to consume
me. Later, I told Gabriel about my vision.

‘You indeed have a gift, which few of us have.
Please don’t tell me what you see in my future.’

‘Gabriel, this is not a joking matter. I cannot
live with this.’

He sat on the bed and put his arm around me. All
modesty and history disappeared between us and I felt at least that I was with
someone who understood something that I bore.

We shared a double bed but it did not concern me
this time. Fully clothed I fell into a deep sleep and the sun was high when I
woke the next day. I threw open the shutters to see the shallow canal beneath
me. The waterway was busy with travelling crafts and people called to each
other as they passed. I could see tall buildings across the canal, some with
windows of glass. Gabriel was nowhere to be seen and I realised that I was wearing
a sheer nightgown, suddenly embarrassed that someone had changed me during my
heavy slumber caused by the magic I used in the foreseeing.

I dressed and went downstairs. Several workmen
were loading large sacks onto the dock: exotics spices of cardamom, green
pepper, saffron and ginger. On the basement level, men and women were grinding
them on slabs of stone and placing the powder into small pottery jugs to be
sold at markets, to the kitchens of the wealthy, and to be exported to the
west.

It is not a grand trade Antonio had said at
dinner, as there were competitors, but it kept the family in a nice house.

I learned that Estella and her children had left
earlier that morning with Gabriel to purchase masks for the carnival that
night. I was slightly bewildered at this since the trip was about finding my
family. Gabriel returned early afternoon with many boxes.

I asked him why we were not looking for my mother.

‘This is the perfect disguise, my dear. Tomasina
will most certainly be at the gala where the carnival will be central. We will
find her there and confront her. It is best we do not go to her house. Her
father is powerful and it is unlikely we would even get an introduction. It is
best he does not see us. I would prefer the strigoi way of breaking in, perhaps
even jumping through her bedroom window but something tells me you would
disagree.’

 ‘Should there be a confrontation? I only
want to meet her! It is not as if we are attacking or that we need the element
of surprise.’

‘My darling girl, you were not listening to
Beatrice. Your mother does not want you.’

After all these years of never knowing her, these
words stung with the knowledge that she had forsaken me as a child. I had to
hope that once she saw I had tried hard to become like her husband, my father,
that she would welcome me back into her life.

Gabriel opened boxes in the room. He had bought
me a red velvet gown with garnet beads around the neckline, no doubt traded for
a heavy purse of silver. He also had a jar of cosmetic and
a
piece
of wax molded into the shape of cat’s eyes and painted black.

I arranged my hair much in the style of
Beatrice. I was not practiced in the art of hairdressing and Estella’s servant
helped pin it back.

I dressed behind the screen and applied the mask,
which sat across the bridge of my nose, and tied with black satin ribbons
behind my head.

Gabriel wore a velvet cape lined with satin, both
fabrics a deep rich purple; a dye that was not only expensive but reserved for
the Venetian Doge. It was scorned by some and this fact alone gave Gabriel
greater reason to choose it, but on such a night as
carnevale
, where
anything was possible, such behaviour could be forgiven.

His face was naturally pale against his dark blue
eyes. The mask, made from clay and painted white, was macabre and covered most
of his face except for the holes for his eyes. Gabriel explained that for many
years he would arrive specifically for the nights of the carnival. It was a
celebration of Venice and all its wonders, of its decadence where the poor
could mix with the rich. Where the rich could mix openly with whores without
fear of retribution. And where servants and street vendors could masquerade as
noblemen and women, and act out another life. It was the one night where one
could pretend they were someone else where the strigoi enjoyed blending in with
humans and decide their fates while they laughed around him. I told him I did
not wish to hear any more of the subject. Such revelry sounded too fraudulent
or deviant for my liking.

Antonio and Estella were dressed in their finery,
with masks similar to ours, and we walked over pavements of large square stones
through narrow alleys lit by candles on the walls, and between buildings in
shades of pink, yellow and orange. We could see the Rialto Bridge ahead where
the festive atmosphere seemed to increase. It seemed the whole city was heading
in the same direction and I wondered whether the wooden
Ponte di Rialto,
which
inclined high towards the centre, could safely hold so many people. Musicians
with flutes and lyras serenaded passersby.

Street vendors sold plates of food and we sipped
glasses of wine as we strolled along the edge of the canal. Whether it was the
wine or the melodic music or Gabriel’s arm linked through mine, I had a rush of
happiness and felt at ease for the first time in a long while. Estella guided
us along and introduced us to their friends and acquaintances and we felt safe
and anonymous in our masks. Gabriel took me into his arms and we danced with
another group by the canal. I followed in the steps of Gabriel, and we twirled
so hard that I tripped and he moved to hold me tighter. As we were walking back
to join our hosts, Gabriel nodded at another man.

‘Who was that?’

‘That man is a strigoi. Someone’s party will not
end well tonight.’

As quick as my happiness came so did my regret.
Those moments of freedom from who I was were too short. Even here I could not
escape my heritage.

Then I saw the strigoi was whispering to Gabriel
and they looked up towards the top of the bridge. I followed their gaze but
could not see what they did. There were so many in colourful costumes and
masks. Some wore simple clothes with strips of leather for masks. Never had I
seen so many come together to celebrate the beginning of Lent, the decadence so
much in contrast to the true meaning of the occasion.

Gabriel whispered that Tomasina was nearby with my
brother.

Arianne

Half a mile away, I could smell the
grounds of the castle. When I chose to be a strigoi I was meant to live there.
Although I have enjoyed my travels and notoriety among the wealthy I was
returning to claim what should have been my privilege at the beginning.

When I learnt that Gabriel no longer desired
me, I pretended not to care and chose many other lovers to distract me, most of
them human, unable to comprehend my nocturnal endurance and my steady hand at
most manual tasks. They had been awestruck and overwhelmed by the prowess in
the confines of our chambers. These interludes were enjoyable but later, and
after several weeks of one human, I was left feeling hollow. For it
was
Gabriel I yearned for and a life at the castle.

Lewis had given me this craft and could easily
take it away, which is why Gabriel stole me away safely. Lewis still wished me
dead.

As I entered the grounds, I knew immediately
that things were not as they should be. I did not sense Gabriel’s presence as
expected, and worse, I could not sense Lilah either.

Gabriel

To see her laugh tonight was rare. It reminded me
of the young girl at the monastery who had thought her destiny would be one of
solace in her work. Yet there she was, happy once more.

I had known her mother would be here, especially
with her son who I had heard rarely missed an opportunity to attend a public
event.

It was not something I relished but I led her to
the top of the bridge. The wooden structure was the heart of market activity
during the day and tonight it was the hub of festivity. All elite society was
there in high fashion, from procurators to wealthy glass makers. On this bridge,
drinks were served to private parties in coloured glasses with pewter stems.
Tomasina stood with a group of fashionably clad people wearing a mask of
coloured silk. She had a long face and bore very little resemblance to her
daughter. Her cheeks were pinched and her mouth tight and lined; a face that
did much serious talking to others who would benefit the political aspirations
for her son. Andrew stood a little way off talking to several women. He was as
unattractive as his grandfather, the deceased King Andrew; Lilah’s grandfather
also.

I walked close to Tomasina and she became aware of
me. ‘I must speak to you Signora,’ I asked.

‘And who might you be?’ she asked, casually
glancing at Lilah.

‘I cannot reveal that Signora but beg just a
moment of your time.’

‘I do not have time for beggars as you no doubt
want something from me. Everyone does at these occasions.’

‘Perhaps if you won’t talk to me then you will to
this lady.’

I removed Lilah’s mask. Tomasina squinted slightly
and leant forward, her eyesight poor.

‘I have no time for either of you.’

‘Surely you could allocate some time for your only
daughter.’

She laughed then, nervously looking around to
measure the faces of others. A couple had already left to find more company and
wine for I did not think that Tomasina was someone who could engage another for
long.

‘I have no daughter,’ and she turned to head
towards Andrew, grabbing his arm and pulling the reluctant young man from the
group of girls who vied for his attention, attracted by his station. His grand
velvet attire, shiny bucked shoes, sapphire rings, and lace handkerchief
screamed wealth and privilege.

Tomasina sped down the steps with an Andrew in tow
who berated his mother for their forced departure. We followed as they stepped
onto their privately owned
sandolo
moored close by and climbed aboard.

‘Out!’ demanded Andrew. ‘This is a private craft.’

It was then I had to resort to force and holding
him by the shoulders I pushed him backwards onto the leather seat.

I signalled to the oarsman to begin his rowing
while Lilah and I sat opposite the stony faces of Tomasina and Andrew. Tomasina
avoided meeting Lilah’s curious gaze and stared at me in silent rage. Andrew on
the other-hand was jittery, roaming our faces anxiously. I could sense his
fear.

I took off my mask. Tomasina did not flinch.

‘Do you remember me?’

‘I know who you are, Gabriel,’ she said. ‘I knew
the moment you walked onto the bridge.’

‘Please explain to me, mother,’ Andrew pleaded. ‘What
is happening and who are these people?’

‘They are intruders who will be dealt with. Sir, I
might say that we are on the way to San Marco where you will be prevented from
entering because of
what
you are.’

I could not help but laugh out loud. It was silly
superstition that the strigoi could not enter a church.

‘We will see what the Doge has to say.’

‘You think he will send me away. He is a mortal
fool, Tomasina. What can he do?’

She ignored this comment and chose to ignore Lilah
who looked to me for reassurance. I squeezed her hand, which nervously held on
to my own. Every so often we would pass a lamp on the esplanade above casting
eerie shadows on their faces; one stern, one fearful, and one regretful. Lilah
I can say was the latter.

We arrived in the piazza where Andrew helped his
mother out of the swaying craft. He had given up his attempts to source
information and proceeded to follow in her purposeful steps towards the
cathedral.

‘Tomasina, you must recognise your daughter,’ I
beckoned, before becoming annoyed at the charade.

‘Daughter? What is he saying mother,’ taking twice
the steps to keep up with the long legs of his mother.

As we crossed the large square, sounds of singing
came from the church where the carnival for some meant prayer.

Despite her urgent quest, I watched Lilah marvel
at angles in the paving and the gilt horses at the entrance to the cathedral,
plundered from Constantinople. Lilah’s eyes widened at the mosaic art in gold
and coloured stones of brilliant blue adorning the ceiling.

‘Tomasina,’ I said, this time with malice for
there was no other way to control her. ‘If you don’t come now, I will put it to
my fellow strigoi who frequent your delightful city that your son’s blood is of
the worst kind.’