Lindsey Kelk 5-Book 'I Heart...' Collection (125 page)

‘I don’t do his laundry.’ In fact, he did mine. I was scared of the laundrette. ‘And you know that’s not going to happen.’

‘No, I know you’re pretending it’s not going to happen.’ Jenny dropped to the floor in front of me. ‘Because you’re scared he’s going to say no if you ask.’

I hated when your friends could read your mind. ‘No, I just want to stay here on my own terms,’ I lied. Well, half lied. ‘I’m not saying I don’t want to marry Alex. I just don’t want it this way. The visa or the marriage.’

‘Then have fun back in England. I’m sure it’s missed you.’

‘I don’t think it’s that bothered,’ I sniffed. ‘There hasn’t been a Facebook campaign or anything.’

She punched me in the arm. Hard. ‘Angela, stop being an asshat about this and just do it. At least you know what you want.’

And so at last we got down to it.

‘And you don’t?’

Jenny breathed out loudly and tucked her hands up inside the sleeves of her sweatshirt.

‘Maybe not.’

I didn’t quite dare hug her – we were very, very close to the edge of a cliff – so instead, I pushed my foot out until it was touching her toes. The puke damage seemed minimal, so I didn’t think I was putting my Converse at risk.

‘Surely you’re not going to throw everything with Sigge away over a one-night-stand?’

She stared at the ground, picking up loose stones and putting them back down again. Interesting answer.

‘Are things with Sigge not good?’

‘Things are fine. Great.’ She still didn’t look at me.

‘Then …’ It took me far too long to work it out. ‘It wasn’t a one-night-stand?’

At first she didn’t move at all. And then, very slowly, she shook her head.

‘And it hasn’t just been in Vegas?’

More shaking.

‘Oh shit, Jenny.’ No time for fear of hurtling to my death now. I pushed myself onto my knees and crawled over to my friend. Under her hair, her face was streaming with tears. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

‘Because I know I’m stupid.’ Her voice was raw and scratchy already. ‘It’s so stupid. Things are going so well, and now this. But I can’t stop it. I want to but I can’t. And I didn’t want you to think I was awful.’

Whereas this way, I just thought I was awful.

‘Jenny, you can tell me anything. All that stuff I said to you the other night? About telling you everything? That works both ways. I will never ever judge you.’

She looked up disbelievingly.

‘All right, I will never, ever be anything but supportive,’ I corrected myself. ‘I may occasionally judge a little bit, but that’s because I’m an arsehole. Judging will be silent, support will be vocal. Always. I am always here for you. Even if I’m in England. You’ll just have to Skype me in.’

‘I just don’t know what to do.’ She lay back in the dirt and stared up at the clear skies. Wrinkling my nose at the dust and muck, I did the same. Solidarity, sister. ‘Sigge is awesome. He’s the sweetest guy I’ve ever dated, and, you know, I can see a future there. We have so much fun together, and I know he’s really into this, but it’s just … Jeff. You know?’

‘How did it happen?’ I asked, half closing my eyes. She was actually on to something with this lying-down malarkey; my stomach settled and the deafening buzz in my head quieted itself to a low hum. Except that as soon as I didn’t feel sick, I realized how badly I needed a wee. ‘Only if you want to talk about it.’

‘Remember that time he showed up at my apartment?’ she started. Of course she wanted to talk about it. ‘When I’d just met Sigge?’

‘That was months ago. It’s been going on since then?’

‘No. No, he came over to talk.’ I heard the air quotes in her voice. ‘But I told him to go fuck himself and was all super-proud of myself for walking away. But then about a month later, he called and said he wanted to get things in a good place with us before he got married.’

Her voice faltered a little on the last word, and I reached out to hold her hand. After an accidental boob graze, I finally found her fingers.

‘And I was really happy with Sigge by then – I felt like I’d be OK. So I said sure, figured I’d get some closure and make him buy me a really nice, really expensive dinner, but I guess we never made it to dinner. It was so weird. One drink and it was just happening. I couldn’t believe it.’

Having witnessed a booze-fuelled Jenny and Jeff reunion show first-hand, I could believe it.

‘But as soon as it was done, I felt horrible, like I just wanted out, but he said there were still feelings, and there are still feelings, but I have feelings for Sigge too. And he hasn’t cancelled the wedding. I mean, he’s here on his bachelor party, for God’s sake.’

I thought back to the happy times when I only had a visa to worry about.

‘So, what, you thought you’d come out here and change his mind?’ I asked. ‘Convince him not to go through with it?’

‘I don’t know what I was thinking. When I saw you last week, on Bedford? I’d been at his place. Your place – God, I don’t know how you didn’t bust me. He said he wanted me to break up with Sigge, then he’d call off the wedding. I said if he called off the wedding, I’d break up with Sigge. So we’re kind of at a stalemate.’

‘Do you want him to call off the wedding?’

‘I don’t know,’ she said. Then laughed. Then started to cry. ‘I want someone else to make the decision for me. If he gets married, it’s over. For good.’

Jenny rolled over, dusting my face with Fekkai-scented curls and crap from the floor, and shoved her head under my chin. Nothing like a floor-snuggle between friends.

‘I miss living with you, Angie,’ she whined. ‘This wouldn’t be happening if you were home. This stuff never happened when you were there.’

‘This exact stuff happened when I was there,’ I replied. ‘I mean, literally this. I think you have to decide what you want. You can’t let Jeff decide for you. And if things aren’t right with Sigge, Jeff or no Jeff, you should break that off.’

‘But they are right,’ Jenny sighed. ‘I know it sounds stupid, but I am in love with him. When Jeff isn’t around, my brain flicks a switch and he doesn’t exist. And all I want is to raise little Vikings in the suburbs with Sigge. He makes me really happy. Honestly. What do I do?’

I knew she wasn’t lying, but I just didn’t have an answer. I’d never been in a situation where I was in love with two people. I’d been in a situation where I was sleeping with two people, and I couldn’t even cope with that. Throwing big fat feelings into the mix did not sound like fun.

‘You genuinely couldn’t choose between them?’

‘When I think about losing Sigge, it makes me feel sick and sad. When I think about losing Jeff, it just seems impossible. Like, my brain just won’t even acknowledge that it’s possible. That we’re inevitable.’

‘But does he make you happy?’

‘No.’ She paused. ‘But I love him.’

‘Bugger.’

‘Yeah.’

She sniffed loudly. ‘Maybe I should just throw myself in the canyon. Oprah isn’t on TV any more, I saw the last Harry Potter movie. What is there to live for?’

I tried really hard to think of something helpful. ‘We still haven’t seen the last Twilight film?’

‘I read the book. They all die.’

‘Really?’

‘No. Dumbass.’

And then she started crying again. With nothing better to contribute, I joined in.

‘So, your friends? They’re like, together, right?’ Cody whispered far too loudly to Sadie. ‘The scene earlier – lovers’ tiff?’ Apparently the roar of the helicopter blades made him both deaf and stupid.

‘Just dumb,’ Sadie replied with reluctant affection. ‘They’re just real dumb.’

I faired considerably better on the return leg of the flight and spent most of it idly patting Jenny’s hand, staring out at the Hoover Dam and wondering if it wouldn’t just be easier if Jenny and I married each other. All to the tune of ‘Take My Breath Away’. Jenny’s dilemma made mine seem so much simpler. I loved someone. He loved me. I didn’t want to leave, he didn’t want me to leave.

‘You know, if you just tell him you’re all out of options, I bet Alex will suggest the marriage thing anyway,’ Jenny said, displaying worrying evidence of her mind-reading skills once again. ‘I’m just saying.’

‘I did say I’d see him later.’ I gave her a tiny shrug. ‘I suppose I do have to talk to him about what’s happening. With the job and stuff. See what he says.’

‘It’s not a bad thing, you know,’ she smiled. ‘A man you love wanting to marry you. Regardless of the motivation. Anyway, would you marry someone you didn’t love just because they needed a visa? I sure as hell wouldn’t.’

‘Probably,’ I nodded back. ‘I’m not very good at saying no. Terribly polite.’

Jenny laughed in agreement. ‘Remind me of that the next time I need a favour.’

‘Because me waitressing at your cocktail party wasn’t enough fun?’ I shuddered at the memory of peeling sweaty latex from cold skin.

‘Actually, yeah,’ Jenny said, shuddering at the memory full stop. ‘We’re good.’

‘Thought so.’

I said goodbye to the rivers and rocks and wild horses as Cody announced we were ten minutes from landing and, more importantly, ten minutes from a toilet. All the natural majesty the earth had to offer couldn’t compare with how badly I needed a wee.

Jenny let me use her phone to call Alex on the understanding that I was not allowed to spend the entirety of our last night in Vegas ‘macking on my man’. Given that I didn’t really know what macking meant, first I made the promise and then I made the call.

‘Hello?’ He answered on the third ring.

When a number I didn’t know called me, I stared at my phone until it went away and then ignored the little voicemail icon on the screen until the number beside it was in double figures. Alex, however, had a debilitating phobia of voicemail and almost always answered his phone. Given his previous life as the village bike, this occasionally led to some very awkward conversations at three a.m. on a Saturday morning. Honestly, who keeps a booty call number in their phone for two years? Not that I’d ever had a booty call number to keep in my phone in my entire life, but still. I thought it was weird.

‘Hey, it’s me, I’m on Jenny’s phone.’ I examined my fingernails and frowned. I was in need of a manicure, desperately. This hand was not wedding-ring ready.

‘Good to have her number,’ Alex replied. ‘That girl needs to be kept on a leash.’

‘I know.’ I silently reprimanded myself and shoved my hand into my jeans pocket. Horse then cart, not cart before horse. ‘She says hi.’

‘She’s there? I won’t ask what happened this morning then. Until tonight. We still on for later?’

Number three hundred and forty-two on the Reasons I Loved Alex list. He was a secret gossip. He could pretend he wasn’t all day long, he could turn his nose up at as many copies of Us Weekly as he liked, but it didn’t find its way into the bathroom on its own and I certainly didn’t take it in there. Often.

‘We’re still on. I actually have a couple of things to talk to you about.’

Like, how much we’re supposed to tip our doorman for Christmas and also, whether or not you would like to marry me. Immediately.

‘Did you steal eighty million dollars?’

‘No.’

‘Marry Elvis?’

‘No.’

‘Steal Mike Tyson’s tiger?’

‘Yes, but that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.’

A vision of Alex in a white jumpsuit with a giant quiff popped up far too easily. He could totally rock a quiff.

‘Where d’you want to go?’ he asked, putting my fantasy right back in its box. ‘Anywhere you’re desperate to hit up?’

I went through my mental list. Sharks at Mandalay Bay. Lions at MGM. White tigers at the Mirage. The Forum shops at Caesars. The all-you-can-eat buffet anywhere. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed like my ideal vacation spot was actually the café inside the gift shop at the Bronx Zoo. Unless …

‘The Venetian?’ I suggested. Was there a better setting to propose a marriage of convenience than a casino modelled on the most romantic city in the world? A fraudulent marriage in a fraudulent Venice. Perfect. And excellent positive thinking on my part.

‘Awesome. They have a great casino.’ I’d forgotten about his secret love of gambling. Going crazy on the blackjack table wasn’t really in my plan. ‘Not that we’re going to spend all night gambling,’ he added quickly. ‘Although I feel like you might be kind of a good luck charm.’

‘Have we not met?’ I ran a hand through my hair. Ew. Helicopter head. It needed washing. ‘Is earlyish OK? I promised Jenny we’d go out later, what with it being the last night and everything.’

‘So I’m the warm-up act – nice,’ he said with a smile in his voice that I hoped would still be there after our conversation. ‘Of course. The guys have some big crazy night planned and if I’m not there, I’m pretty sure his best man will hunt me down and kill me. Dude is intense.’

‘So, seven-thirty? At the Venetian?’

‘Done and done. Can’t wait.’

‘You’re meeting at the Venetian?’ Jenny asked when I handed the phone back. ‘Awesome. We should get dinner at Bouchon once you’ve done the deed. Celebrate.’

Ever since she’d made her confession, Jenny had been a new woman. Honesty was good for the soul and also, it seemed, the complexion. She bounced around the lounge of our suite, pulling outfits from the samples Ben had sent over while I tried to avoid the mirror beside me. Neither Jenny’s confession nor the helicopter ride had been good for my soul or my complexion. I looked like death. And the racks and racks of designer ensembles made my heart hurt. Mostly because I knew we had to send them back when we left.

‘You sure you don’t mind?’ I sighed at a floor-length black gown and silently sobbed for my butchered blue dress. ‘Me seeing Alex, I mean.’

‘No way.’ She pulled out a hot pink body-con number that made me instinctively suck in my gut. ‘I need a little time to unwind before tonight. I haven’t tried to party for three nights in a row for a long time. If I don’t sleep, I might die.’

‘And if Jeff calls?’

‘Then I’ll talk to him.’ She traded the pink for an emerald-green kimono thing. Mmm, roomy. Perfect Christmas dinner dress. ‘Like you’re going to talk to Alex. Do you know what you’re going to say?’