Linked Through Time (9 page)

On the last hill, we pulled into sight of the giant red barn, and I could see a familiar figure leaning against the barn door, looking like a picture out of a magazine. Dave Slater waited, his arms crossed naturally across his broad chest. I could feel my pulse jump as my mind replayed our date at the rapids and the way his hands had sent heat coursing through my body. I ducked low into the pyramid of hay, suddenly aware of what I must look like. “Louise!” I hissed, as though Dave could hear me above the rumble of the tractor.

She turned to me, looking unimpressed. “What?”

“How do I look? How’s my hair?” I said, frantically trying to smooth it down with my hands.

Louise rolled her eyes, and turned her face away. I guess she hadn’t forgiven me for ditching her the other day.

* * * *

Dave helped Rodney and Bobby restack the bales with precision, loading the barn to the ceiling with the fresh bales. I couldn’t help but watch Dave’s muscular arms strain against his T-shirt as if they were a beast trapped within. Once the bales were finished, Dave accepted a jug of water from Bobby. He shot me a crooked grin from across the barn, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

I managed an uneasy smile in return, and fished a sandwich out of the cardboard box to take to him. Everyone piled onto the bare wooden slats of the trailer, passing around the box of food and water. Dave moved to sit by me, brushing his leg against mine as he took his spot on the trailer. I tried not to think of the layers of sweat and dirt that had become my second skin over the past few days and instead focused on making conversation that didn’t have me stuttering over every other word.

“Nice to see you,” I said between bites of my sandwich. “Thanks for helping. It saved me a few blisters anyway.” I grinned, showing him my raw, damaged hands.

Dave swept my hands into his own and sprinkled kisses over the red patches. “I couldn’t wait until this weekend to see you. I figured your dad would never turn away free help.” He moved his hands over to my back and neck, rubbing the knots of pain that had developed.

I closed my eyes, reveling in the close attention.

Bobby approached, carrying a few sandwiches. My heart sank, realizing I would have to leave Dave to take the food to the girls. I had promised Bobby first, and I owed him. He checked first, then shot.

Bobby stopped in front of the two of us, raising his eyebrows in question. “Are you going?”

Dave looked at me, and I could feel my heart being torn in both directions. “I promised Bobby I’d do something with him during break,” I said, my voice reluctant. I made a move to hop from the trailer, but Dave grabbed my arm in a firm hold.

“You don’t have to go. Bobby’s a big boy, right, Bobby?” Dave spoke in a firm, no arguing tone.

Bobby shrugged. “It was something we both wanted to do,” he said, waiting for my answer.

I pulled my arm free from Dave’s grasp and hopped down from the trailer.

“I really should go. It’s…complicated,” I said, relying on the same word I kept using to describe my life lately.

Dave jumped down from the trailer and stood in my way. “I took time out of my day to come see you, and you would just walk away? Leave me?” Angry lines appeared along his mouth as he frowned. “I said you’re not going.”

Surprise must have been evident on my face, because Bobby spoke up, relieving the tension. “I’ll go, Sarah. Don’t worry about it. You can go next time.” He jogged away before I could respond, my mind still grappling with Dave’s controlling tantrum.

“I can speak for myself, thanks,” I said, trying to keep my voice light and teasing, when inside I felt insulted and a little angry. “I really wanted to go. See, there’s these girls out in the woods…”

Dave cut me off, placing his fingers on my lips in a rough manner. “I didn’t come here to be blown off like some second rate option. Obviously, you don’t think I’m worth wasting your precious
break
over.” His face twisted into a sneer and he turned away.

I made a move to grab for his arm, wanting to finish my explanation. Dave whirled, lashing out as quickly as a snake. He pushed me hard, and I rammed into the back of the trailer, knocking the wind from my lungs.

I dropped to my knees, gasping for breath, looking around to see if anyone had noticed. The rest of the family had conveniently disappeared, leaving Dave and me alone for our little argument. Caught off-guard, I watched him walk away, my heart aching at his moody, childlike behavior.
What did I do?
Anxious to appease him and make him understand, I called out his name, pleading with him to stop.

Dave turned, eyeing me with what could only be described as disgust, his icy blue eyes hard as stone. I couldn’t understand why I felt the need to apologize. I hadn’t done anything, and yet, I didn’t want him to be angry with me.

“I’m sorry,” I said, biting my lip. Rising from the ground, I rubbed the small of my back where it had struck the trailer. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I… I just wanted to help someone.” I waited for him to say something, to take me in his arms and tell me all was forgiven.

Dave’s face relaxed. He seemed to be mulling over my apology, almost savoring it. Then, as if he were the Pope himself, he came to me and placed his hands on my shoulders, absolving me of my sin. “I just don’t want you to forget who comes first, right?” he said, nudging me.

I nodded, obediently. I felt like I was the child, and Dave, the disciplining father. I wanted to be angry with him; after all, it was humiliating to be told what to do, to be spoken for. But as I looked into his eyes, now soft and hypnotic, I found myself more taken with the nearness of his body, the rakish finger-combed set to his hair that made him even more adorable. His famous lopsided grin appeared, and I felt relief sweep through me.

“That’s my girl,” he whispered, pulling me close. Our hearts beat in time, pounding against each other’s chests, as though trying to touch.

I breathed in the scent of him, and buried my face in his shoulder. I felt his face turn and plant soft kisses against my neck, his lips moving slowly toward my ear. He pressed me up against the trailer and clawed his fingers into my hair, his mood taking on another sudden change, one of desperation and hunger.

Overwhelmed with longing, I let Dave mold his body into mine; let his kisses travel my face until his lips connected with mine. A surge of desire rushed to my head, intoxicating my brain, making me dizzy with need. I forgot where we were, caught up in the moment of immediate passion. The swing of emotions frightened and thrilled me. One minute, Dave was controlling and dominating, the next passionate and giving. The complexity of the relationship was beyond my limited experience, and I could never tell what would happen next.

Someone cleared their throat loudly, and Dave and I broke away, peeling our bodies from each other and smoothing our clothes in a self-conscious manner.

Mortified,
I saw it was my dad – Dean – who appeared from behind the trailer, his cheeks stained red with embarrassment.

“Rodney says it’s time to head out to the next field,” Dean muttered, keeping his eyes to the ground.

Breathless, I smoothed my hair and sidestepped Dave, putting some distance between us.

Dave took the hint and stuck his hands in his pockets. He squinted out past the barn and gave a low whistle. “Looks like you’ll be working the rest of the day,” he said. “Guess I’ll catch up with you at the fair.” He fished a piece of gum from his pocket, tossed it to Dean with a flip of his hand, and walked away in a casual saunter. “’Til next time,” he said over his shoulder, hinting that, in his mind, our frenzied make out session was just the beginning.

I shivered. It was way too easy to let my emotions switch to autopilot and throw caution to the wind. Dave made reason seem unreasonable. I couldn’t wait for the fair.

The rest of the day passed in painful slow motion. I literally rolled from the trailer as the last bale was thrown into the barn.

Outside, dusk had settled over the fields, dusting the sky with streaks of pink and purple. The beauty of it all was lost on me as I struggled to walk upright. My hands sported fresh blisters and my thighs were raw and itchy from the hay. I stumbled my way to the farmhouse, trailing everyone but Rodney who had stayed behind to close up the barn.

His deep voice boomed behind me, startling me from my heavy trance. “Sarah!” he barked out.

I couldn’t help the resentment filling my voice as I turned with a sneer. “What?” I snapped. “Didn’t I haul my share of bales? Did I drink your share of the water? What? Just yell at me already and get it over with.” My eyes narrowed into slits. If Rodney even dared to ride me about my performance today, I was ready to give him hell.

Rodney looked taken aback. Rubbing the back of his neck, he shrugged. “I wanted to say thank you, is all. For sticking around. You’re not one to help with haying. You usually try and get out of it, don’t deny that. I can see how hard it was for you. I’m just saying thanks,” he mumbled. He paused by the chicken coop, removing a dusty John Deere hat from his head and wiping his brow. “Tell Mom I’ll be in for supper after I pen the animals.” He stalked away, his usual powerful frame hunched with weariness.

Supper was a special affair. Three chickens had been butchered to reward the family for a hard day’s work. I could barely hold the fork and bring it to my mouth, but the food tasted so good, I would have licked it from my plate like a dog if I’d had to. I shoveled forkful after forkful of mashed potatoes, corn, gravy and chicken into my mouth until I could scarcely breathe.

When the plates were cleared and put away, Gran hauled an enormous metal tub from the basement and set it on the floor in front of the wood stove. My eyes widened. I had been looking forward to relaxing in a nice, hot bath, but from the size of the washtub, it was apparent to be standing room only. The littlest children lined up first. The twins and Joyce took turns splashing in the water as my grandmother washed them down with a cloth. As each sibling took their turn, I watched in dismay as with each new bather, the old water remained in the tub, and only a few precious cups of warm water were added to the bath. I tried to hide my disgust at the fact I would have to bathe in tepid, dirty bath water, the leftovers from the other children. Would I ever be clean?

My turn came, and everyone left the kitchen to give me some privacy. The heat from the wood stove barely warmed my tingly skin as I undressed hurriedly. There was nothing leisurely or pleasant about this kind of bathing.

A knock at the kitchen door startled me as I stepped into the shallow tub. In my hurry to cover up with a towel, I tripped over the rim of the washtub and fell clumsily to the floor. I yelped as my raw, blistered hands hit the floor. Aching and weary, I could do nothing but lay in a half naked sprawl across the floor. “Just a minute!” I called out weakly.

“It’s me, Rodney. I brought you some fresh water,” he said through the door. I could hear the embarrassment in his voice. “I know how you like to soak in the tub, so… just warm it up on the stove a few minutes and it’ll be fine. I’ll leave it on the porch,” he growled, almost as an order.

“Thanks,” I managed to call out. Laughter spilled from me then as free and genuine as a mountain spring. Who would ever have thought someone like Rodney could care about a bath, something so ridiculously feminine and troublesome. I was sure he would much rather have jumped in the river to wash than try and squeeze his long, broad body into the tiny tub. Still, he had thought of me, and I knew it was because of my efforts during the day.

A smile eased across my face as I sunk low under the warm water in the tub, my legs dangling humorously over the edge. “Be thankful for the little things,” I murmured, relishing the feel of the water on my weary muscles.

* * * *

That night, I went to bed early, sapped of the energy to play even the simplest of games of marbles with Matthew, Patrick, and Dean. My hands carried fresh bandages and ointment and Gran heated up a bag of rice to place on my throbbing back. The lumpy mattress and worn quilt felt heavenly as I sunk down beneath the sheets. I could smell the fresh scent of lavender and eucalyptus from the homemade soap. For the first time since I had arrived, I felt good. Despite the physical pain, I rejoiced from the simple fact I had been useful today and not a nuisance. I had survived hay day and impressed Rodney all in one day.

I felt redeemed, like I’d put a mark on the wall for my aunt that meant something good in her life for once. Hopefully, it wasn’t the last. I had one major goal to look forward to, a chance to turn Sarah’s life around forever, and hopefully save myself in the process.

I stared out the window, connecting the numerous stars with imaginary lines until my lids became heavy. That night, I dreamed of hay. Endless bales of hay.

Chapter Eight

Jekyll and Hyde

I could feel a difference in the house the moment my eyes opened. A flutter of excited voices floated up from the kitchen. Ashamed to see I was the last one up (again), I jumped from bed and checked my reflection in the cracked mirror above the dresser. Sunburned, freckled, and chapped, my face was hardly recognizable after my days out in the harsh sun.

Rubbing some ointment over my red, scratched thighs and blistered hands, I dressed quickly in a pleated knee length skirt and blouse. Today was going to be special – it was Sunday. I could barely suppress my excitement. I knew for a fact, the family practiced following the strict rules of the Sabbath. After church, it would be a day of rest. No chores!

A ribbon tied for a headband and a pair of plain black Mary Jane shoes completed my Sunday dress. Descending the stairs to the kitchen, I massaged the aches and pains from my arms and neck, surprised to feel pain in places of my body I didn’t know had muscles.

Dean exploded from the table and into my arms the moment I appeared. “Today is the fair! Today is the fair! Dave brought tickets, just like you said!”

On impulse, I swung him around in a circle, getting caught up in his boyish exuberance. “I told you he would come through,” I said, ruffling his hair. Maybe Dave could finally win Dean’s approval. I could only hope.

Eager to start the day, I helped dress the twins, wash the breakfast dishes, and load the trailer with canned goods for the 4-H booth at the fair. I dreaded the hour-long church service that stood between me and my day with Dave. I could almost taste the warm powdered sugar funnel cakes and the wispy swirls of cotton candy.

Loading into the rusted shell that served as the family car, I squeezed into the back seat and held the twins on my lap. It was crowded and loud, the chattering and guessing of rides at the fair the number one topic on everyone’s mind.

“What’s that smell?” I asked, wrinkling my nose, juggling the twins down the rutted, bumpy road.

“Rodney used the car to bring the goats and pigs in for the fair,” Dean answered from between the broad shoulders of Bobby and Rodney in the front. “Dad’s truck broke down again.”

“Gross,” I whispered. I hadn’t checked the seat before I sat down. I could only guess what graced the floorboards of the packed car. Breathing through my mouth the entire way to town, I sat miserably amongst the rowdy kids in the back. I could only pray that by the time we got to the fair, the smell would wear off.
Just once
–
once!
–
I would like to smell like a girl again, instead of a barn!

When the service ended, we drove straight to the fair; I chose a seat next to the window and practically hung my head out in the driving wind the short journey across town. All through church I had been preoccupied, barely reciting the familiar prayers, my mind busy envisioning my day off. Maybe Dave and I would be like in the movies, where we ride the Ferris wheel and kiss at the very top. Or maybe he would win me a stuffed animal, something I could display proudly in my bedroom. The possibilities were endless and utterly romantic. It was the sort of date I had been waiting for my whole life.

Matthew and Patrick pushed me from the vehicle the moment we paused in the fair’s open lot for parking. Joyce and Janice tumbled out around my legs and I heaved the twins up by their waists to keep from getting trampled. Pulling at my clothing, Dean and the rest of the boys whined, “We want the Tilt-A-Whirl first!”

The confusion of our arrival ended just as quickly as it began. Louise took Joyce and Janice to the petting zoo. Rodney and Bobby took the twins with them to the 4-H building where the girls could be watched by any number of gossiping housewives, leaving them the ability to tend to their animals in peace. That left me with the three middle boys.

Dean kept a tight grip on my arm as we entered the crowded gates. Various rides were already in motion; squeals of delight and fright echoed throughout the fair. The familiar smells of the fair hit me at a rapid rate, sending me reeling into a zone of confusion – both of my worlds, past and present colliding into one. I reached for my father’s hand, searching for the warmth and comfort of an adult, but instead a small bony hand took its place. I turned to look into my father’s eight-year-old, animated face.
Weird,
I thought.

Standing in line for the Tilt-A-Whirl, I eyed the Ferris wheel and its slow easy motion. Envious of the couples on board, I scanned the crowds for Dave’s telltale blond hair. His physical presence would stand out easily in the masses. I blinked, mesmerized by the number of people that swarmed the tiny festival. People of all ages, rich and poor. The fair was sort of a uniting factor, drawing the people out from their isolated lives of the rural country. Who knew this many people actually lived in this town?

After the third straight trip on the Tilt-A-Whirl, I begged the boys for a break. Handing out a few tickets to the three, I offered to wait in the long concession lines to buy them a snack. Thanks to Dave’s generosity, the family had enough tickets for rides and food, something they’d never had before. I joined the snake-like line leading to the tiny booth that harbored an array of sugary goodies.

A tall, slender boy just in front of me turned and smiled in my direction.

I smiled back, automatically averting my gaze to discourage his attention.

“Hello?”

I pretended not to hear the soft-spoken voice of the boy.

“Oh, what? You’re not talking to me now?” the boy kept on.

I sighed. It was obvious the boy couldn’t take a hint. “Hi,” I answered, turning to meet his gaze. I couldn’t hide my surprise. The boy’s face was handsome, dimples denting his soft features. His warm brown eyes, so intent on my face, had a ring of gold just around the pupil. I instantly liked the boy’s earnest, honest face.

He seemed offended at my slighting his attention. Realizing he was just being friendly, I held out my hand. “I’m Ka…er, Sarah.”

He grasped my hand in his and laughed. I noticed his dimples deepen drastically, making him appear mischievous, but not in a bad way. “I know. We go to school together. Remember? Or have you tried to blank that part out from your memory?” His rich, smooth laugh lit up his face. “Did all those months in Mrs. Bernhoft’s class mean nothing to you?”

I cringed. Of course the boy would know me. The whole small-town, everyone-knows-everyone thing was lost on my city girl roots. I continued to hold his hand and blushed.

Voices called out from across the grassy median. “Travis! Hurry up! The tractor pull is about to start!” Several boys milling about the grounds were motioning for Travis to get out of line and join them. Some made eyes in my direction and shot Travis suggestive gestures.

“Travis… of course,” I said, stalling for time. I didn’t know why, but I didn’t want Travis to leave. “I guess I need my eyes checked. I didn’t recognize you,” I said, teasing him with a flirtatious laugh. “Have you been working out?” I wanted to gag at my lame attempt at a cover-up.

Travis leaned in close, so close I wanted to reach out and touch his gorgeous dimples to see if they were really as deep as they looked. “You look real nice today, Sarah. But then again, you always do. Come find me if you need a partner for the Ferris wheel,” he hinted, raising his eyebrows a notch. He passed me a cone of cotton candy, pulling out an extra ticket as he paid for a popcorn and candy apple.

I giggled, feeling the nervous pangs of attraction flutter in my stomach, which were quickly followed by waves of guilt. What am I doing? Dave is my boyfriend. I can’t be interested in other boys! I couldn’t believe how easy I had fallen under the spell of Travis’s boyish smile. He seemed so… good, I decided. It was only an innocent conversation, I told myself. Nothing happened.

The expression on Travis’s face changed as fast as a flash of lightning. The warmth vanished from his eyes and his mouth straightened into a somber line. Trying to appear nonchalant, he stepped away from me as if he had just learned I had a contagious disease. Without turning around, I knew what had made Travis turn so cold. The hairs on the back of my neck rose in response and my cheeks deepened in color, but from guilt, not pleasure.

Dave appeared at my side, as if an apparition, his face grim as he stared down Travis like a hunter eyes a kill. For some weird reason, I had the feeling he’d been watching me, waiting for me to step out of line before he swooped in to play the part of the possessive boyfriend.

“Did I miss something funny?” Dave asked, making his question more accusatory than merely curious.

Jumping between the two boys, I tried to tear Dave’s murderous glare from Travis. I forced out a laugh and pulled some tickets from my pocket. “I was going to get some food for the boys and Travis here was telling me about the tractor pull, weren’t you, Travis?”

Travis looked at the ground and then back to my eyes, his face a mask of disappointment. I could see the longing in his eyes as Dave put his arms around my shoulders, pulling me close.

Dave snorted. “That’s what I thought. Well, then. Why don’t you get going,
Travis
.” Dave said the name as if it were something vile and unclean.

Travis smirked, never looking in Dave’s direction. “See you around, Sarah,” he said sadly, eyeing me with –
pity?
He walked away, shaking his head.

I faced Dave, angry he had barged in and challenged Travis like the two of them were Alpha dogs fighting over territory. “What was that about?” I demanded. “I was just saying…
ow
!” I whimpered as Dave’s grip on my arm turned sharp like a vise. He grabbed the cotton candy from Travis out of my hand and threw it to the ground. Pulling me roughly, he practically dragged me along, never uttering a word until we reached the backside of the food pavilion, far away from the rides and vendors.

I realized a second too late that there was no one around.

Trying to wrench my arm from his painful grasp, I pulled against his powerful grip.

Dave let go of my arm and twisted me around, gripping my blouse in his fists. He slammed me up against the wooden wall, I felt my teeth rattle and my head snap from the brute force. His full weight pressed up against my body, holding me pinned to the wall.

Too numb to defend myself, I could only stare into Dave’s face, sinister and dark in the shadows of the building.

Dave’s breath came hot on my face. His mouth twisted in a sneer and he pulled my arm up behind my back in a painful twist. “What the hell are you trying to pull? Are you trying to make me look like a fool? Wearing my mother’s ring and playing the town slut at the same time, batting your eyes at any boy who’ll look your way? You damn slut!” He pressed against me even harder and I bit my lip to keep from crying out. Spit flew from his mouth and into my face and I turned away in disgust and shock.

Wild with anger, Dave was almost frothing at the mouth.

My mind whirled with confusion. This was my aunt’s boyfriend, her supposed true love, and he was a monster! His generous gifts and professed love were all a lie – a horrific lie to keep people fooled to his true nature. I thought back to our first date, the night he bruised my arm in anger. I should have known then, but I was blinded by his good looks and charm. Recalling Dean’s chilling words about Dave, and knowing what he did to me, sent a wave of revulsion through my body. How long had Sarah been dealing with this? Is this why she had tried to leave him?

Indignation welled up in my chest. I had to fight back – for myself and for Sarah. Willing my voice to work, I growled, “Get your hands off of me, Dave Slater, or so help me God, I’ll scream loud enough to bring the whole town running.” I stared hard into his face, hoping my threat was believable.

Dave’s chest heaved. He acted like he hadn’t heard what I said. “You’re mine,” he gasped. “You’re my girlfriend, damn it! All these years I’ve been devoted to you, and you keep putting me off… toying with me. Everyone saw it but me. You were just stringing me along, like some sort of puppy…making promises and…” He trailed off.

He looked at me then and my knees turned to water. His beautiful face had turned raw and ugly, and I could read his thoughts as though they were my own. “You swore you’d never leave me. You tried, but you came back. You promised.”

“Don’t…d-don’t do anything you would regret,” I stuttered, pressing my free hand against his chest.

“I should have taken you a long time ago. Then no boy would even look at you.” He was rambling now, the fever of jealousy making his eyes wild and bright. “You’re mine, Sarah Christenson, and I’m going to make sure you
never
forget that.”

Dave threw me to the ground and was on top of me before I could catch my breath to react. “Don’t act like you don’t want this,” he said, running his hands up my legs and underneath my skirt. “You keep saying we need to wait until you’re ready. Well, I say you’re ready.”

I squirmed and clamped my legs together.
Oh, God! Somebody help me!
Tears streamed down my cheeks as I fought to keep Dave from assaulting me right there on the muddy grass of the fairground.

Dave slapped my cheek with a teasing hint of brutality. “You’re nothing without me,” he repeated, breathing heavily into my face.