Little Blackbird (18 page)

Matthias pressed his elbow into Kate’s arm, and she turned her face to him.

“I thought…” She shook her head.
I thought we were friends.
She stepped around the side of the tent to join the others.

Powdered sugar smudged Martha’s lipstick as she poked a piece of fried dough into her mouth. Ted made a joke, and Martha laughed louder than necessary, leaning against his arm, spilling sugar from her plate like a snowstorm. Sally joined in with the laughter, bulleting the night with her nasal, staccato laughs.

Charlotte walked over and took a bag of popcorn from Matthias’ hands. Betsy stared at a fried cake hidden beneath a mound of snow-white sugar. She dipped one finger into the powder and licked it hesitantly. Then she scanned the group to see who might be watching before breaking off large chunks of cake and eating them as quickly as possible. Sally and John tapped their flasks together before testing the new drink. Ted handed a five-dollar bill to the young man who then shoved the bill into a cookie tin. Geoffrey squirted mustard on his corndog while Mikey smeared his corndog through a blob of ketchup. They talked about riding the Scrambler.

Kate stood among them, but on the outside edge of their circle. All she’d ever wanted was to fit in, to be a part of a group of friends, to laugh with other girls, to be noticed by the boys. Now, having been allowed inside their group—if only for a brief few weeks—she felt more alone than when she’d had no one to call
friend
. A voice whispered in her head,
They never accepted you. You could never win them over like Evan did. You’re nothing like him.
Her gaze drifted to Geoffrey. He looked away from Mikey and smiled at her. In two long strides, he stood by her side.

He offered her a plate of french fries. “Hungry?”

Kate shook her head. She wanted to smile, but she felt so broken apart inside that none of her functions appeared to be working. Her cheek twitched.

Geoffrey leaned down toward her. “You okay? Did the last ride get to you?”

Kate exhaled. She still had Geoffrey, didn’t she? It didn’t matter what Martha said. Martha was wrong. Martha didn’t know how Geoffrey looked at Kate or how he held her close. Martha had never seen them laughing together or sitting by the river counting fireflies.

“The last few minutes I’ve really felt it,” Kate said.

Geoffrey nodded. “Give it a few minutes. We can ride something easy. Maybe the Tunnel of Love?” He grinned.

Kate leaned toward his smile, pulled in by the need for affirmation, the need to know he didn’t reject her the way the others did. She pressed her face against his arm. His body warmth spread through her cheek, down her neck, and trickled into her chest. She inhaled slowly and exhaled. “Maybe just the two of us?” She didn’t care if she and Geoffrey lost the group in the carnival. They could lose them forever.

Geoffrey kissed the top of her head. “Just the way I like it.”

Martha stumbled forward, and she dropped her empty paper plate onto the ground. “Ted thinks he’s the best at the milk bottle game. Anyone up for the challenge?”

Ted looped his arm around Martha’s shoulders. “It’s wager time. John? Matt?”

John stepped forward. “Count me in. I have an arm for these sorts of games.”

Ted laughed. “And that’s about all you have an arm for.”

John shoved Ted, and the two of them walked around the tent. The rest of the group followed. Geoffrey slipped his hand into Kate’s and he pulled her along behind the others.

As Kate and Geoffrey followed, he leaned toward her. “We’ll play this one game, and then we can wander off.”

“Would you do that for me?” she asked. Looking at Martha twisted her stomach. Kate felt the separation between herself and the group widen with each step they took through the carnival. Fitting in with them now felt like pushing through a thicket of thorns, each movement slicing into her skin and causing her breath to catch in her throat.

Geoffrey squeezed her hand. “Losing this bunch to spend time with you? That’s easy.”

Kate held onto him, grabbing his words and shoving them deep into her chest where they pacified the ache, where they reassured her that Geoffrey wanted to be with
her
. She wasn’t just some girl who was
weird enough
to catch Geoffrey’s attention for a while like Martha claimed. Geoffrey cared about her.

They gathered around the Milk Bottle Toss. Ted and John stepped up to hurl the first balls at the wooden bottles. Ted knocked the top bottle from the stack, and two of John’s bottles shot from their platform like missiles. Their next two throws missed the targets. The booth operator stacked the bottles again, and Ted asked for a new competitor. Geoffrey winked at Kate and volunteered.

Geoffrey dropped tickets into the operator’s open hand and smiled at the group. “Let’s see if Ted
is
the better man.”

Ted motioned toward the throw line. “Losers first.”

Geoffrey’s first toss dislodged the top milk bottle. His second toss hit the remaining two bottles but failed to knock them from the platform. His last throw missed the bottles entirely.

Ted slapped Geoffrey on the back. “Let me show you how it’s done.”

Martha and Sally clapped their hands together and cheered for Ted. He smirked at them before cocking his arm back and launching the ball. All three bottles exploded from the platform. Martha bounced up and down, tossing her curls over her shoulder. Kate looked away. Clouds slunk across the night sky and blotted out the stars.

Geoffrey cleared his throat. “I was going to win you a bear.”

Kate shook her head. “Next time.”

“Come pick a prize, Martha,” Ted called.

Mikey walked over. “It’s going to take Martha an hour to choose her prize. Wanna ride the Scrambler now?”

Geoffrey looked at Kate, and she shrugged. “I’ll be here when you’re done.”

“Hey, Matthias,” Mikey shouted. “Come on.”

Kate crossed her arms over her chest and hugged herself while she watched Geoffrey, Matthias, and Mikey amble over to stand in line for the Scrambler.

Martha’s voice carried over the carnival noise. “No,
that
one. The one with the necklace.”

Sally snickered. “That necklace is plastic, Martha.”

“But red is my lucky color, and I never turn down jewelry,” she slurred, and both girls burst into giggles.

Kate watched the man behind the booth hand Martha an oversize white bear wearing a necklace made of red beads with an octagonal, plastic ruby pendant. Martha squeezed the bear and thanked Ted. Then Martha pulled the necklace off the bear and strung it over her neck. She lifted the pendant and grinned.

Her thick eyelashes fluttered. “I can see myself in the reflection.”

The plastic pendant caught the blinking lights around the booth and shot sparkles into the air. Kate flinched as the light flashed in her eyes. Her breath hitched. A veil dropped over her vision, obscuring the carnival, and flaunted broken images in front of her eyes.
Dark confined space. Sticky hands pressing against her skin. Red beads dropping like hail. Panicked breaths bubbling up her throat.

Kate staggered sideways. She bumped into a light pole and bent over, propping her hands on her knees and blinking so rapidly that it looked as though she stood beneath a strobe light.

“Let’s get out of here and drive up to Look-Off Pointe,” Ted said.

Kate pushed herself upright but pressed one hand against the light pole for support. Bile rose in her throat, so she clenched her jaw. Martha propped the bear on her hip as though she held a toddler, and she slid the red, plastic beads of her necklace through the fingers on her right hand.

Martha sashayed toward Ted. The ruby pendant bounced against her chest as she moved. “I
love
that idea.”

Sally clasped her hands together. “Me too.”

Martha surveyed the group. “How many cars do we have?”

Charlotte raised her hand. “I drove.”

Ted nodded. “So did I. Geoffrey and John drove too. We can split up, if we want.” His eyes lowered and locked on Martha.

Martha grinned up at him with a smile that was too eager and too wide. “Definitely.”

Charlotte dug through her purse and fished out her car keys. “We’ll need to wait on Matthias.”

Martha pointed as she spoke. “I’ll ride with Ted. John, you and Charlotte can take Sally and Betsy. Geoffrey can bring the rest. Okay? Good, let’s go.” She slipped her arm through Ted’s.

“How will Matthias know where we’ve gone?”

Martha stopped and focused her gaze on Kate. “Kate can tell them, can’t you? Think you can manage that?”

Martha didn’t wait for Kate to respond. She tugged Ted away, and Betsy, Sally, and John followed. Charlotte lingered behind.

“You’ll tell Matthias where we went, right? Tell him I’ll–I mean, we’ll
all
be at the Pointe waiting for him and the others.”

Kate inhaled the smoky scent of ashes. Her throat closed, and her eyes filled with tears. The girl in her visions was Martha.

Kate remembered the agonizing weeks leading up to Evan’s death when she barely ate, barely got out of bed, barely survived. She hadn’t been able to warn Evan about his shattered windshield, the truck driver who fell asleep, or the way the radio still worked even though Evan’s car was crushed.

Altering the future was against the rules.
Whose rules?
Those rules didn’t care if people died or suffered. They didn’t care if brothers died while sisters dreamed of them. Kate bent over and gulped air.

Charlotte touched her shoulder. “Hey, are you okay?”

Kate wiped at her tears and straightened. “I don’t know.”
Alter the future or let Martha face her own fate?
A shiver rippled over Kate’s skin, and she rubbed her hands against her arms.

Charlotte worried her bottom lip. “Will you tell Matthias where we’ve gone?”

The Ferris wheel spun round and round, illuminating the faces in the carts. A laugh sounded and stretched toward Kate, wrapping around her heart and squeezing. The laugh sounded like Evan. She imagined them last year on the Ferris wheel, Evan leaning forward in the cart, her gripping his shirt sleeve. Evan pointed out the people below and made up stories about them while Kate giggled and waved to their parents. He would be here now if she had broken the rules. Could she break them now? Could she let Martha fight her battle alone?

“No.”

Charlotte frowned. “No?”

“No!” Kate shouted, looking past Charlotte. She pushed away from the light pole and ran after the group. “Martha! Martha, wait!”

Martha stopped and turned with Ted still attached to her arm. Kate gasped for air. Ted puffed on his cigarette and the end burned like fire.

“Martha, you can’t go,” Kate said.

Martha laughed but she looked confused. “What are you talking about?”

Kate grabbed hold of Martha’s arm and pulled her away from Ted. She dragged Martha beside the Tilt-A-Whirl and shook her head. “You can’t go to the Pointe. Just go home or anywhere else, but don’t go to the Pointe and don’t go with Ted.”

“Why not?” Her eyes narrowed. “Do you have a thing for Ted now? Geoffrey not enough?”

“What? No,” Kate said, shaking her head. “You just can’t go up there with him. Things happen up there.”

Martha pried Kate’s fingers off her forearm and smashed the bear beneath one arm. “Things happen? That’s what I’m hoping. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to continue my good night.” Martha stalked off.

Kate rushed after her and latched onto Martha’s arm, spinning her around. Martha stumbled sideways. The bear fell to the ground.

“Martha, you can’t. Listen to me.”

Martha’s face leveled with Kate’s. Her breath smelled sour like rotting teeth and whiskey. “What is your problem? Let go of me.”

Kate imagined hands shoving her against the car seat. She felt the sharp sting of a burning cigarette against her collarbone. “No!” Kate shouted. “I had a premonition, and Ted is going to do something awful if you go up there tonight.”

Martha’s mouth dropped open, revealing her lipstick-stained teeth. Then she started laughing, releasing the cold sound into the night. “A premonition? You
are
crazy.” She scoffed. “Listen, witch, I don’t believe in your hocus pocus, and I don’t care what you say.” Martha shook her head and curled her lip at Kate.

Desperation caused Kate to blurt, “I know you steal your daddy’s whiskey and hide it beneath your bed.”

Martha gasped so loudly that several passersby stopped to look at them. Martha staggered sideways, staring at Kate with wild eyes. “How would you know that?” she whispered.

“I know things, Martha. Please listen to me.”

Martha shook her head. She leaned down, grabbed the dirty bear, and pressed it against her chest. “You
are
a witch.” She turned and hurried away.

Panic rose in Kate’s chest. She
had
to stop Martha. She couldn’t let someone be abused like that.
Geoffrey
. Kate ran to the Scrambler. She arrived just as Geoffrey, Matthias, and Mikey exited the ride. Their steps were unsteady, but their smiles were wide.

“
God
, that thing scrambles my brain,” Geoffrey joked.

She ran to him. “Geoffrey, I need to talk to you.” She couldn’t hide the desperation from her voice.

Matthias stepped up beside her. “Everything okay?”

Kate looked up at him. His pale eyes focused on her, and she couldn’t look away. “Charlotte wants you to meet her at her car. Everyone is going to Look-Off Pointe.”

Mikey grinned. “Sounds like Ted’s idea.”

Kate nodded. “She’s parked in the south parking lot near the main entrance. They’re waiting on both of you.” It was a lie, of course, but Kate knew that Matthias and Mikey could still catch Charlotte before she left.

“And you two?” Matthias asked, not breaking eye contact with Kate.

Geoffrey slipped his arm around Kate’s shoulders. “We’ll be along. You two go on.”

Mikey nodded and walked off, but Matthias hesitated.

“Go on, Matt. We’ll be right behind you,” Geoffrey assured his brother.