Live Through This (17 page)

I cover my face and groan. “Why do you live to embarrass me?”

“Embarrass
you
? According to your mom, I was the eight-year-old perv who wanted to show you my wang. In the dark. Because that makes sense, right?”

“You must have looked like you were up to no good,” I say with a smile.

“Seriously?” Noah shakes his head. “Who automatically assumes if a kid’s fly’s down that it has
anything
to do with sexy times? I swear, she still looks at me funny all these years later. Reece might find it comforting that he isn’t the only one. Then again, she’s just getting started with him.”

“Don’t remind me.”

Reece told me that he can handle it, that he’ll try to win her over, but I don’t want for him to have to. I want my mom to just be nice to him.

Noah elbows me, playfully. “You’re lucky she never found out about your Latin lover.”

My breath catches and I sit up straighter. “My
what
?”

“Oh, you know. Last year. You. A wedding reception. Some dude named Pedro? You’d be a lot more than grounded if your mom knew about him.”

“How do
you
know about him?” I ask.

“How do you think?” Noah gulps down the rest of his cup
and reaches across me to set it on his nightstand. “I happen to have a sister who couldn’t keep a secret to save her life. And the details of that night.” He whistles. “Pretty darn graphic, Coley, I have to say.”

Humiliation floods through me.

In the shocking story that I told during Truth or Dare last winter, supersuave nineteen-year-old “Pedro” danced with fourteen-going-on-fifteen-year-old me during every song and then led me back to his room where he took off my dress and did everything to me except actual sex. The fact that Pedro is a figment of my imagination doesn’t make Noah knowing about him any less upsetting.

“I. Cannot. Be
lieve
. Piper told you that,” I say.

“You can’t?” Noah asks. “If she’ll spill about Felicia giving a hand job to that bass player and Alejandra being a drama queen about handing over her V-card, of course she’s going to tell me this, too. Why does it matter, though? She said you told your whole fricken team.”

“I had to. It was for Truth or Dare. That doesn’t mean I want everyone knowing that I’m a huge slut!”

“Calm down. You’re the opposite of that, okay?” He takes my hand. “You’re a
tiny
slut.”

I yank my hand away. “God, Noah.”

“I’m
kidding
. Kidding, kidding, kidding!”

I take another sip from my cup, staring straight ahead at our reflections on his black TV screen. From what I can see, Noah’s watching me with about 25 percent concern and 75 percent amusement. “Piper told me all of that, like, a year ago,” he says. “I’ve never told anyone, and I never will, okay?”

“What else has she said about me?” I ask, turning toward him again.

His lips twitch. He glances at the ceiling and kind of scratches his cheek. “Um. Nothing?”

“I don’t believe you.”

“There might have been one thing. A little thing. Teeny.” He holds his hand up with his thumb and finger about an inch apart.

“
What
did she say?”

“That you and I kissed once. Or something wacky like that?”

I chug the rest of my champagne.

“Don’t worry.” Noah pats my shoulder. “I didn’t let on that it was news to me. It’s all good.”

I set my empty mug on his nightstand and sneak a glance his way. Now he’s totally grinning at me.

“This isn’t
funny
, Noah!”

“It kind of is.”

I wonder if he’d be so amused if he were in my place, if
I were to blurt out what I’ve heard about him and Kimber. Something gives me the feeling that he absolutely would not.

“Look,” I say. “The only reason I told them that was because I didn’t want everyone to think I was a freak.”

“Like the kind of freak who’d get naked with the first guy you kissed on the day of that first kiss?”

“Exactly! Anyway, it’s been so long, I almost forgot that the story I told them about you didn’t really happen.”

“Wait. There’s a story?” Noah rubs his hands together. “I want to hear it.”

“No! It’s embarrassing.”

“Oh, come on. It was my fake first kiss too. I deserve to know how it all went down.”

I let out a loud breath. “Fine. It was during freshman year when we were doing our English homework in here and eating microwave s’mores.”

“I remember that.”

“And you said, ‘Hey, there’s something on your lips.’ I kept wiping my mouth and being like, ‘Did I get it all?’ ”

“Yeah. You had chocolate and graham cracker crumbs all over. It was h-o-t-t.”

“So the part that veers from real life is that you kissed me. Then you said, ‘Looks like I was seeing the future.’ ”

Noah wrinkles his nose. “What does that mean?”

“You know, because you’d been saying ‘there’s something on your lips.’ You were making a prediction that your lips would be on them.”

“The
hell
? Why am I such a tool in your imagination?”

I can’t help cracking a smile at that. “Everyone at the slumber party thought it was funny and sweet.”

“You told them all that I was a really awesome kisser, right? My reputation’s on the line here, you know.”

“Of course I did,” I lie.

“Better than Mr. Wedding Reception Underaged-Girl Seducer?”

“Definitely,” I say, somehow managing to keep my smile from fading.

“What about Reece?” Noah asks. “Was I a better kisser than him?”

My face heats up. “We’re always talking about Reece. I think it’s time for us to talk about who
you
like.”

Noah’s gaze darts around the room. Outside, a firework goes off with a loud
POP!

“Oh, boy.” He gestures toward his window. “Some loser always explodes prematurely. It’s close to midnight. I guess we should get out there and do that thang?”

“Smooth subject change,” I say as he slides off his bed.

He pulls me to my feet. “Hey, I’m always working a few angles in Canada and the Niagara Falls area. You know how it is.”

I watch him intently until he meets my gaze. “Noah, you can tell me anything. You know that, don’t you?”

“All right, all right.” He clears his throat. “But this has to stay between you and me, okay?”

“Of course!”

I hold my breath. I’ve been waiting so long for him to be honest with me.

He drops his voice to a whisper. “So the deal is, I’m starting a harem in my garage. Enjoy this time we have together because I am going to be
busy
soon.”

I sigh, but I guess I can’t blame him; I definitely know what it’s like to not want to tell the truth.

CHAPTER 20

W
hen Noah and I get downstairs, everyone has pretty much cleared out. Only a few stragglers are refilling drinks or grabbing their coats and wraps. We make our way through the house, out the French doors, and then stand on the porch together, looking down at the backyard. Sparkling white lights lead to the lake’s edge, where everyone else is getting situated on rows of chairs to watch the upcoming fireworks show.

“So let’s see. There’s our moms,” Noah says, pointing. “And Tony. And my dad. All parental units appear to be distracted by hosting duties, yes?”

“Yes.”

“Then I’ll be right back!”

He rushes inside again. I shiver at the railing and adjust my wrap as I listen to the mix of dozens of voices below and consider whether to go in and borrow a blanket.

The door opens and closes behind me, and out of the
corner of my eye, I see a glass of champagne being set on the railing. Gentle hands come to rest on my shoulders.

I don’t have to look to know that it’s my brother. He smells like Bryan. He feels like Bryan. I sink back for a second to steal his warmth, but then I realize what I’m doing and pull away. “Hey!” I say, turning to face him. “You startled me.”

“Sorry.” He takes off his jacket and places it on my shoulders. His heat and cologne are all over it and now they’re all over me, too. “You look really pretty tonight, C,” he says.

I pull the jacket tighter and take a few steps away from him. “Thanks.”

It comes out barely louder than a whisper.

Before Bryan went away for college, I’d wanted him to stay more than I’d ever wanted anything. The little things he’d do like surprising me with Oreo milkshakes and telling me I was the coolest girl in the world would make me nearly explode with happiness. I wonder if his compliments will ever make me feel like that again.

“Have you been hanging out with Piper tonight?” I ask.

He picks up his glass, staring down toward the lawn. “Worse. Tony’s been introducing me to everyone like, ‘Look how great your life can be if you follow in my footsteps.’ All night long, these guys have been taking turns going on and on about their awesome houses and cars and shit.”

“Does that mean you weren’t convinced?” I ask, wrinkling my nose.

“I’m not sure.” He sighs. “I want to be, but I’m still feeling so off. I have tons of time to decide about law school, anyway. What I’m stressed about is going back to the East Coast. You know, seeing
her
again.”

I nod. I hate the idea of him having to go back to where Heather is, but I also know that I need for it to happen.

The doors open behind us, and I’m relieved as Piper makes her way out, carrying a plate with little desserts on it. She doesn’t have anything on over her dress to keep warm; she’s definitely tougher than me.

Noah follows her with a mug in each of his hands. “Coley, here’s that coffee you wanted,” he says, lifting a cup in my direction.

“Yes, Noah,” Piper says. “We all believe that that’s coffee by the way it
isn’t
steaming.”

“It’s cold coffee,” Noah says, giving me a wink.

I hurry over and close the door behind them.

“I know you aren’t big on sweets,” Piper says, walking up to Bryan. “But the liquor with dark chocolate is more, like, bitter. I thought maybe you’d like one?”

“Boozed-up candy,” he says. “Could be worth trying.”

As Bryan takes a chocolate, Noah whispers in my ear,
“After all these years, do you think my sister has finally figured out how to seduce your brother?”

I shake my head and we step to the railing together. It’s me, Noah, Piper, and Bryan, all in row. I start in on my second cup of champagne for the night.

“Are we going to be dutiful children and go down there?” Noah asks me, nodding toward the lawn while Bryan and Piper talk quietly together on the other side of him.

“Can’t we just be dutiful from up here?” I ask. “I’d rather not stab my heels through your lawn.”

“That’s as good an excuse as any. How high are those, anyway?”

I lift one foot. “Five inches. Don’t you wish I was always this tall?”

“You know you’re perfect the way you are.” He drapes an arm over me, rotates us toward the French doors, and smiles ahead as if we’re facing an imaginary photographer. “But see how awesome we’d look in pictures together if this were your real height?”

I giggle as we turn to face the lake again. “You are
so
right.”

“The Tolo dance is coming up.” He nudges my arm. “No one’s asked me yet.”

I stare at him. He doesn’t really think that
I’m
going to, does he? “I’ll hope for your sake, and for the sake of your dance pictures, that you go with a tall girl this time.”

“No, hey,” Noah says. “You know that I’m always happy going with a certain not-tall girl.”

“Umm. I kind of think that Reece might expect me to ask, you know,
him
?”

Noah’s mouth falls open. “Shit! I didn’t even think of that. Okay, now it’s official: Your boyfriend is ruining my life.”

“Oh, come on,” I say, with a laugh. “You had to have known this would happen when you were giving him advice about me. Or whatever it was that you were doing.”

“I
was
giving him advice. Which means he should show his gratitude by stepping aside and letting you and me continue with the streak we have going. Every dance since seventh grade. How many is that?”

I count quickly on my fingers. “Ten, I think? But no, Reece should not step aside. I mean, unless we break up. Then I’ll go with you, I suppose.”

Noah scoffs. “I’m your backup plan? Tell me, who was taking you to these things back when you still had that gap between your teeth? Oh, that’s right. Me. And where exactly was Reece Kinsey before you got hot?”

“Alaska,” I say, narrowing my eyes. “And you’re being obnoxious again.”

“Imagine that,” Piper chimes in. “My brother. Obnoxious?”

“But she hearts me, anyway,” Noah says. “Don’t you, Coley?”

I put on a frown. Noah uses his hands to lift my mouth into a smile, and soon we’re both giggling.

“I’d like to make a toast,” Mr. Crowne says, loudly from the dock.

Everyone gets quiet and he goes into a long spiel about family, health, success, joy, and all the other sentimental stuff he likes to say at these things. Everyone applauds and drinks. Tony takes a turn and it’s more of the same, followed by another round of clapping and drinking.

“Blah blah blah,” Noah says as the conversations resume below us. “We should make a pact. The four of us. Right here, right now. Next year we’ll do something else for New Year’s.”

“Like what?” Piper asks.

“Like
any
thing,” Noah says. “New York. Las Vegas. Haven’t you heard the superstition? Whatever you’re doing on New Year’s Eve sets up your whole year. I’ve decided that this party is the root of all my problems.”

“This is only our third time coming to it,” I say.

“Exactly.” Noah finishes his drink and sets his mug down hard in front of him. “All of my teen years so far, ruined.”

“Noah, I thought you were all about tradition,” Bryan says. “Do you still kiss my sister’s hand at midnight for the new year?”

“Of course,” Noah says. “I didn’t say I want to change that. I just think we should do it somewhere else.”

Bryan says, “Yeah, but you’re talking about superstition. If kissing on New Year’s Eve is to make sure you have an exciting year of passion or whatever, what do you keep setting yourself up for?”