Living With Lies Trilogy (Books 1, 2, and 3 of The Dancing Moon Ranch Series) (45 page)

"I don't know," Sam clipped. "Soon."

Jack looked at him, intently. "Do you have something for this woman?" he asked.

"Hell no," Sam said quickly. Too quickly. Jack could see right through it.

"Well, you'd better keep focused on why we hired her," Jack said, "and it wasn't for you to start sniffing around her."

"Look, I'm not interested in her, okay?"

Jack eyed him dubiously. "I guess we'll find out in a few days."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Whether or not you check her references. I shouldn't have to tell you this. You're the one with the college degree. But we can't be turning over ranch records to someone we haven't checked out first. Just take care of it." Jack clamped his jaws shut and walked away.

Sam knew Jack was right. He also knew why he hadn't run the check. He had more than a gut feeling that things wouldn't check out. He just didn't want to know what those things were.

***

After a few more days, Sam decided Jack was right. They did need to check Jayne's reference. She'd only listed one, which alone raised questions, but giving her the benefit of the doubt, he called the one reference and spoke to a woman named Angie, who assured him that Jayne had been a competent manager of their ranch, and she'd recommend her without reservation. Deciding the call should be enough to satisfy Jack, Sam tracked Jack down in the barn and mentioned it to him, and because Jack and their foreman were in the process of pulling a calf, Jack just grunted and continued on with what they were doing.

And Sam headed for the lodge and Jayne's office. It had been two days since he'd seen her and he found himself looking for an excuse to talk to her, but this time he'd confine the conversation to issues about the guest ranch. Showing up in her office to let her know he could still perform in bed had been pretty damn absurd. They weren't in a relationship, and she'd barely been there a week, yet, he'd all but pulled his pants down to prove he was still intact. But when Susan implied he was impotent, he'd come about as close as he'd ever come to hitting a woman.

How he'd ever loved Susan escaped him now. He couldn't even remember the good times, but there must have been some. They'd managed to have Ricky. But Susan had been right when she accused him of being responsible for getting her pregnant. When she came out of the shower wrapped in a towel that night ten years ago, he jumped at the chance to get her aroused to a state where she threw all caution aside and let him have his way without the condom. She'd been furious when she learned she was pregnant. She hadn't wanted kids from the start, and he agreed at the time because he'd already decided he wanted Susan more than he wanted kids.

If he'd married someone else, his life would have been different though. He couldn't blame the cancer on Susan, but he probably would've had a few kids before he discovered the tumor. Then it wouldn't have mattered so much because he'd already have a family.

As he entered the lodge, he heard Grace and his mother, who was cooing over the new baby. His mother helped with each new baby until the baby settled into the family. But new babies in the Jack and Grace Hansen household seem to fit right in, taking their place among a string of brothers. Marc and Adam were six, and then came Ryan, a year younger. Jeremy and Joshua, identical twins, arrived just over a year later, and now little Tyler, and still, Grace's household ran like clockwork. Bread was either rising on the kitchen counter or baking in the oven, and Jack always came in for lunch, and dessert, as he referred to it, if he happened to come when the kids were down for naps. And he always left with a smile.

Come to think of it, Jack smiled a lot. So did Grace. Sam couldn't remember what it was like to have sex with someone who smiled afterwards because she liked having sex with him. He could barely remember having sex. But that was not on his mind now, as he crossed the great room, nodding to his mother and Grace, who held the new baby.

He found Jayne sitting at her desk, with the layout for the new brochures in front of her. She glanced up when he entered the room, and smiled as if she were glad to see him. And he felt a distinct thumping in his chest, along with an awakening below his waist, and as he looked at her, in all her shades of ethnic beauty, he was finding it hard to concentrate on why he came.

She's an interesting-looking woman...

No, bro. Interesting doesn't begin to cut it.

"You've been keeping yourself scarce," Jayne said.

"Look, about what I told you when I was here before," Sam started in, even though he'd had no intention of bringing that up again. "It was pretty lame of me."

"It's fine," Jayne said. "I understand why you felt like you should explain. Any man would. But why would your ex-wife say such a thing?"

"When Susan gets mad, anything can come out of her mouth. Hitting me verbally below the belt was mild," Sam said, and wondered again why he'd brought up the incident.

"I'm glad you're alright," Jayne replied. "Are you considered cancer free now?"

It was an odd conversation to be having with a woman he'd only just met a week and a half ago. Odd, but not awkward. Still, Sam pulled up a chair and sat in front of the desk. "It's been over seven years," he replied, "so I've been told I am."

"Was it bad, learning about it?" Jayne asked.

Sam wasn't sure whether she was inquiring because the subject was titillating to discuss, or because she cared. Maybe both. "For a man, it's about the most devastating news you can hear when a doctor tells you they'll try chemo first, but if it doesn't shrink the tumor they'll cut off your balls. So yeah, it was bad."

Jayne looked at him thoughtfully. "That was an inexcusable thing for your ex-wife to say. I believe I could learn to hate her."

Sam shrugged, and replied, "Susan's not a difficult woman to hate. If she wasn't Ricky's mother I would, but I withhold it because there had to have been some good times in a galaxy far, far away at one time or another. I just can't remember when that was."

"That's sad," Jayne said, and Sam believed she meant it.

Jayne toyed with the brochure layout in front of her on the desk, and Sam saw that her hands were shaking again. Reaching across the desk, he sandwiched both her hands in his this time. "Are shaking hands a common problem with you?" he asked.

"It seems it's becoming one," Jayne replied, "but it only happens when you're around. Do my hands feel cold?"

"A little," Sam said. He rubbed her hands. They felt small in his. And soft. And very feminine. And Jayne made no attempt to pull them away. He got the impression that if they'd been standing, and he took her hands and put them around his neck and slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him, she'd let him kiss her. He was almost tempted to try.

"What are we doing?" Jayne asked, still making no attempt pull her hands free.

Sam looked into a pair of almond-shaped eyes that took on shades of greens and browns in the soft light, and shook his head slowly, and said, "I don't know, but I like it."

"I do too," Jayne admitted, "but if you don't know what we're doing, and I don't know what we're doing, then I guess we'd better not do it." She withdrew her hands. "But that was nice while it lasted." She set the brochures aside and slid her laptop in front of her, and said, "Do you want to see our website now?"

"Yeah, show me what you came up with." Sam moved his chair around behind the desk and positioned it next to hers. Taking a seat, he looked at the computer screen and waited while she pulled up the website. But as she slowly scrolled down the screen, while carrying on a monolog about what she'd included and why, all Sam was aware of was the brush of her arm against his on the adjoining armrests, and the scent of her hair, or her skin, or maybe her clothes, he couldn't tell which, but it was a spicy scent, nothing distinct, more like the aftermath of an exotic incense.

He turned and looked at her profile, and he knew she could feel his breath on her face. She couldn't miss it. He felt it wafting back at him. Her finger paused on the mouse and she turned and looked at him, and said, in a quiet voice, "What did you think of it? The website?"

"I don't know," Sam said, moving toward her. "I may have to look at it again. Do you like what you've done?"

She blinked several times. "Yes," she said, while moving slowly toward him, "I think it's what we need." Her lips met his, barely touching, and lingered there for a few seconds. Then she turned back to the computer and started scrolling down the screen again. "If you keep distracting me like that, I'll never get this place running smoothly," she said, "and you'll fire me because you'll think I'm incompetent." She gave him a little half-smile that reminded him that his male equipment was in excellent working order and was ready for road testing. That not being an option, he turned his attention to the computer screen, but Jayne was shutting down.

"I thought you wanted to show me the website," he said, wanting an excuse to stay beside her longer, maybe complete the kiss. It was a strange thing, being interested in a woman again. He'd been divorced for almost three years and every time he saw Susan with her stud, knowing she was sleeping with the bastard, he felt like ramming a fist into his gut. What bothered him was that when Ricky was there he'd hear Susan's passionate outbursts coming from behind the closed bedroom door. Susan made noise during sex. He could barely remember it now, but there had been a time when she'd responded to his lovemaking in a very vocal way.

"I'll show you the website another time, when you're not so distracted," Jayne said, drawing his attention to her. She shoved her chair back and stood, and he did the same, but when he stepped toward her to test his theory, she moved around the desk, putting some distance between them, and said, "I think we need to step back from each other a little."

Sam knew she was right, but he didn't want to hear her say it because it was a reality check. "Sorry, I'm new to the single's scene and I'm fumbling my way along," he said. "I'll try to stick to business."

"It's okay," Jayne replied. "I've been in the single's scene so long I jump to conclusions. A little show of affection is nice." She glanced at the doorway to the hall. "It sounds like your mother's in the great room."

"She is, and Jack's wife too," Sam replied.

"Maybe I'll say hello," Jayne said. "I met Grace, but haven't spent any time with her, but Flo thinks the world of her, says she's what turned Jack's life around after what happened to his son."

"Yeah," Sam said, "Grace did do that." He turned and left the room, and Jayne followed him down the hallway to the great room, where his mother was sitting on an overstuffed chair, and Grace was on the couch with the baby lying face up on her legs. When Jayne stopped in the doorway and didn't move, Sam looked back at her and saw her brows gathered, as if she were not sure whether to join his mother and Grace.

"Come on," he said, thinking she was feeling like an intruder, "you're a member of the crew now, and Grace wants to show off the new baby."

"I just remembered there's something I want to do on the website," Jayne said.

"You can do it later," Sam replied. He nudged her elbow, and she started across the room.

When she got to the couch, Grace patted the cushion. "Sit here and visit a little so we can get acquainted," she said. "We're all so glad to finally have someone running this place."

"Amen," Maureen Hansen replied.

Jayne sat beside Grace, and Sam stood opposite the two women, looking from one to the other—Grace with the baby laying face, who was gazing up at his mother, and Jayne beside Grace, staring at the baby and looking very troubled.

Grace lifted him off her legs, and said, "Here, you can hold him."

"Oh no," Jayne replied. "He's so small."

"It's okay," Grace said. "He's a sturdy boy. Just hold his head." She passed the baby to Jayne, who cradled him in her arms and gazed down at him.

For the longest time, Jayne just held the baby and stared at him, brows gathered, face deep in thought, which Sam found curious. Whenever Grace showed off her latest offspring, she was always greeted with oohs and aahs and smiles and compliments, but Jayne just sat holding the baby and saying nothing. Then she bit her bottom lip, and started batting her eyelids, and when she looked up, Sam saw tears in her eyes.

Abruptly, she returned the baby to Grace and said, "He's really a nice baby, but I have to go." She walked across the room and rushed down the hallway to her bedroom, closing the door sharply. Sam went after her, but when he got to the closed door, he heard her sobbing. He reached for the knob and started to turn it, then dropped his hand.

He was the man who'd hired her, not her boyfriend, not her husband, and he had no right to walk in on her. But this wasn't over. When Jayne held the baby it triggered a painful memory, and he intended to learn what it was. She was the first woman to hold his interest since the day he first laid eyes on Susan, and he wanted to be there for her. He didn't need to be her lover or her husband in order to be her friend.

CHAPTER 3

The following morning, Jayne had not expected to find Sam standing in the kitchen when she arrived for breakfast. After rushing out of the room and away from the baby the day before, Sam was the last person she wanted to see. It was not something she wanted to explain or discuss, but she figured she had two choices. Walk out of the kitchen and open herself to more scrutiny, or fabricate an explanation for her hasty departure. Deciding on the latter, she poured herself a cup of coffee and sat at the kitchen table and waited.

Sam, who had a mug of coffee in his hand, sat across from her. Looking at her thoughtfully, he said, "Is everything okay?"

Jayne gave a little offhand shrug. "Sure. Why?"

"You rushed out of the room yesterday and never came back. No one knew what to make of it." Sam took a slow sip of coffee and waited.

After a few moments, Jayne said, while spooning scrambled eggs from the platter onto her dish, mainly to keep from looking into Sam's eyes, "I remembered I left my hair straightener on." She'd learned to lie credibly with people who didn't matter, but once she cared, it didn't work so well, and from the uncertainty in Sam's expression, she knew he wasn't buying it. So she added, "I didn't come back because I started getting ideas for activities and I wanted to write them down before I forgot them."

"I'd be curious to know what you came up with," Sam said.

Jayne took a bite of eggs to bide a little time while searching for ideas, and to her relief, several came to mind. "Hikes and nature walks," she announced. "We could make signs for a self-guided tour to the Indian mound, and Flo mentioned there was a hot spring in a cavern somewhere nearby where if you sit in the pool long enough you hear sounds like voices."

Sam's expression became thoughtful, and he said, "It's called Whispering Springs."

"So then, what do you think about the trail idea?" Jayne asked.

"I suppose we could give it some thought," Sam replied.

"Thinking won't get the job done," Jayne said. "What about hiring a high school boy for a week or so? You said there was money set aside."

Sam eyed her over the rim of his mug. "I'll talk to Jack."

"Does he always have the final say about things?" Jayne challenged. Not only did she want to keep the conversation far away from her hasty departure from the room the day before, but she also wanted to make a difference during the time she'd be there. Putting in a network of trails and making flyers for self-guided hikes and showing some organizational skills would be a start.

Sam looked slightly miffed, as he replied, "I don't need Jack's approval. I'll look into hiring a kid from one of the neighboring ranches."

Jayne couldn't help smiling, and when she did, Sam smiled too. A broad, sexy smile that had her heart skipping, and her pulse racing, and her face growing hot, and her lungs feeling trapped for air, and all the man did was smile. "Then I'll get busy with the flyers," she said, "and since I have dozens of other things to do before the guests arrive next week, like checking on supplies, I'd better get started."

Excusing herself, she left the kitchen and went upstairs to check the supply closet, feeling as flighty as a school girl, while also wondering if this thing with Sam would eventually wear off. She'd never had her hands start shaking just because a man was looking at her, or felt the urge to do spontaneous things like put her palms on his chest to see if it was as hard as it looked, then slide her hands up his muscular arms and around his neck, and kiss him. But she had to get a grip on things. Turning her attention to taking inventory of the supplies was a start. With eight cabins on the creek, and eight guest rooms upstairs in the lodge, running out of toilet paper the first week wouldn't bode well for the new manager. The guest-season staff would be arriving in two days and she wanted to be ready for them too. She was already familiar with the procedure at the front desk for checking guests in and out, and she had her computer program up and running, which was good, because the first batch of guests were scheduled to arrive the day before Easter, which was only four days away.

According to Flo, two women would be in charge of cleaning the guest rooms and cabins and changing beds and bundling dirty towels and linens to be picked up by the cleaners, and a third would be helping in the kitchen.

Jayne had just left the main supply room, which was located at the head of the stairs, when she saw Sam on his way up. He looked like he had something on his mind, and when he got to the top step, he stopped so he was almost eye level with her, and said, "I talked to a kid from a neighboring ranch. He'll be here tomorrow, so you can show him what you want."

"That's it? You're letting me take charge of the trail project?" Jayne replied.

"You're supposed to be running things here," Sam said. "So yeah, you can take charge."

When he didn't turn and leave, but stood looking at her, like he was waiting for her to say something more, Jayne had to fight the urge to put her hands on his shoulders and give him a little kiss. Short and sweet. A thank you kiss for letting her run things the way she wanted. Odd, wanting to kiss a man she'd barely talked to during the short time she'd been there.

"I'm distracting you again," Sam said, holding her gaze.

"Yes," Jayne replied. "Was that all you wanted? To tell me about the boy coming?"

"No. I thought since you plan to make flyers for the hikes, today would be a good day to show you the hot springs, the Indian mound, and a guest cabin about an hour's ride by horse. You might want to make a flyer for that too, and make it a half-day hike."

"The cabin's not on the lodging list," Jayne said, distractedly, feeling little tingles in her tummy from the way Sam was looking at her—a an unspoken message she understood. That kiss in her office, which was almost not a kiss, haunted her too.

"We don't advertise the cabin," Sam said. "It's remote, no electricity."

When she didn't reply, because she was wrapped in thought, Sam said, "Are you worried about being alone with me?" He looked concerned, and a little confused. But then, everything from the moment Sam covered her cold hands with his to warm them had been confusing. Too many new feelings to assimilate. She'd never felt such a strong attraction to a man. She even found herself contemplating how she might somehow meet his minimum requirement for a step-mother for his son. Miracles did happen on occasion. "Well, no," she replied.

"Then I'll saddle the horses and meet you at the
stable," Sam said. "I take it you ride."

"Some," Jayne replied. "Pretty much what I learned at summer camp. It will be nice to ride in the mountains with you and see the things you mentioned."

Sam gave her a different kind of smile, one that held a kind of cryptic message, like he felt as excited about the idea of them being alone as she did. "We'll ride to the cabin first then stop by the Indian mound and hot springs on the way back. Wear a swimsuit under your clothes so we can sit in the pool and listen to the voices."

A very, very bad idea, sitting with Sam, half-naked, in a pool, and her having palpitations and air hunger whenever the man was near. "I don't have a swimsuit," she said.

"You don't need one," Sam replied. "The pool's in a dark cavern and the water comes up mid chest on me. You could get in first and sit opposite me."

"Said the spider to the fly," Jayne quipped. "You do realize what you're suggesting is a very bad idea, don't you? Us skinny dipping like that?"

"If you're worried about me, don't be," Sam assured her. "I may be new to the single's scene, but I do have some control."

"Maybe you're not the one I'm worried about," Jayne said. "I won't deny I find you attractive, and I might be imagining things, but I think I've caught you looking at me a time or two."

"Then you don't want to go," Sam said, in a cheerless voice.

"That's the problem," Jayne replied, "I do want to go, but I know it's a bad idea."

"Yeah, I suppose," Sam said. He turned and started down the stairs.

"On the other hand, we're adults," Jayne called after him. "We do have control."

Sam paused on the stairs and glanced over his shoulder, and the only way Jayne could describe his smile that followed was Machiavellian. "Then I'll meet you at the stable in a half hour," he said, and turned and continued down the stairs.

***

Sam glanced at Jayne, who sat on the horse plodding along beside him. She looked good dressed the way she was—an oxymoron in her safari outfit while riding western. An English mount and knee-high boots would seem more fitting, but he liked the safari look on her. More than liked it. But he was determined to keep his hands off her. He'd read about single parenthood, and what was emphasized was staying out of relationships for a long time after a divorce, though he'd also read that if a relationship developed, to keep all intimacies away from the kids and not introducing the love interest until there was a commitment of marriage. He was far from that with Jayne, although the idea hadn't escaped him.

But heading into an intimate relationship would be about as reckless as anything he could do. Ricky was disturbed enough, being forced to see his mother with her live-in's hands all over her, but he also knew Susan had problems. Back when they were still having sex, she demanded he pump hard, and she accompanied his forceful pumping with deep guttural sounds. Then she began demanding things he wasn't willing to do, and that's when the marriage started to unravel.  

"It's really beautiful here," Jayne mused. "How much farther to the cabin?"

"About another ten minutes," Sam replied, wondering how his mind had managed to slip to thoughts of Susan, with Jayne riding at his side. He also wondered how it would be with Jayne. How she'd be if they were making love… if she'd be responsive to him. Not being able to satisfy Susan left him with doubts about himself.

The trail narrowed and the horses moved together, and when they did, Jayne's leg rubbed against his. She looked at him and smiled, and he smiled back. He wanted the contact, casual as it was, and Jayne's smile told him she wanted it too.

"I think we should set things up for weddings," she said. "Families of the bride and groom and their friends could rent the lodge for the week leading up to the wedding, and the couple could be married in the great room, or you could have a grape arbor put up where they could be married outside when the weather's nice." Her eyes brightened with anticipation, and he couldn't help wondering if his presence triggered her thoughts of marriage, premature as it was. That thought had been occupying his mind. In fact, unrealistic fantasies of Jayne as his wife seemed to be dominating his thoughts. But her idea of weddings for ranch guests didn't work. "Flo doesn't do wedding cakes, and she's not set up for catering receptions."

"Flo wouldn't have to do either," Jayne said. "We'd provide folding tables and tablecloths, along with napkins, wine glasses, plates, and silverware for the reception, but the families would be responsible for the cake and for having the reception catered."

"I don't know," Sam replied. "That's taking on a lot."

"We need to do something to get people coming," Jayne said. "I also think we should operate on a weekly basis. Setting things up so guests arrive for Sunday brunch, stay through the week and leave the following Saturday after breakfast, makes it easier to plan meals and activities. Between Saturday and Sunday there would be time to clean the lodge and prepare for the next round of guests, and it would be more cost-effective that way."

"That won't work," Sam said. "We have guests who only stay a few days."

"Maybe a few would be angry, but at least we'll have paying guests," Jayne said. "I want to try it. You said I could run things the way I want."

"Yeah, but I didn't mean to change the whole routine," Sam snapped then wondered why he was irritated. She was just trying to do her job. But he couldn't think straight. Every time he looked at her sitting on the horse, back straight, chest out—it was the chest part that kept distracting him. He'd gone too long without a woman, and everything about Jayne had him thinking hot sex, and long term, and having a wife again.

"I know many guest ranches that operate this way," Jayne said. "As it is, we'll have twelve empty rooms when we open. Things can't get much worse. By lowering the rates for the week-long stays we'll be filling more rooms and making more money, but, if you don't want to do this, then maybe I'm not the right person to be running the place."

Sam looked at Jayne with a start. She was right. He'd hired her to do the job, so he needed to back off and let her. But what she suggested was a major change. "I'd better run it past Jack first," he said, not wanting to give Jack any reason to find fault with her.

"Was Jack first born or something?" Jayne asked. "You seem to defer to him."

Sam realized Jayne was goading him into letting her do things her way, and it was working. All his life he'd been compared to Jack. Jack was the bigger twin, the more assertive, the one most like their father, which, Sam realized, was his reason to go off to college to prove to himself, and everyone else, that he was a step ahead of Jack. But even with the winery up and running, Jack was still several steps ahead of him. Jack had a wife who'd stand by him no matter what, and kids he adored, and was happy with his life, and none of it took a college degree.