Locked and Loaded (Bullet, #6) (3 page)

BOOK: Locked and Loaded (Bullet, #6)
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She’d barely walked in the room than Zoe sat up, and even in the dim light shining in from the hallway, Jennifer could see the grin on her child’s face, the pacifier dropping from her mouth onto the crib mattress.  “You little stinker.  Were you even trying to sleep?”

The toddler stood, holding herself on the crib railing, giggling as Jennifer walked across the room to pick her up.

Yeah, okay, so maybe just tonight Zoe could sleep next to her mom again and keep her company...reminding her that there was a hell of a whole lot more to life than men.

Lots more.

Chapter Three

––––––––

“T
HANKS FOR THE movie, Zane.  That was fun.”

“Yeah, sure.  It was a great movie.  I can’t say that about all of ‘em.”

“It was a nice break from studying for midterms.”

“We should do it again.”

“I’d like that.”

“Next week?”

“Yeah.”

“Then it’s a date.  But, uh, you wanna come up to my room before I walk you back to yours?”

“Yeah.  I’d like that.”

“I was hoping you’d say that...”

Zane had lost count, but this was not the first time he’d walked out of inpatient rehab.  Yeah, he needed to shake all the shit he was taking, but he did
not
want to fucking talk about it, any of it.  And that was, ultimately, what all those goddamn doctors wanted to do—talk it to death.  Hell, that would scare him back to booze and pills in a heartbeat.

No.  He just needed a warm bed and a safe place with someone to watch over him and monitor him while his body detoxed.  But this time was worse than usual...and he’d had a specific reason for going through it.

It was because he was craving the one woman he’d never been able to shake—and no way was he going to find her when he was in that shape.  He’d barely been out twenty-four hours before he was sitting at the bar—having
just one
beer—and pulling up Facebook to message her.  He would have tried calling, but the woman changed phone numbers more frequently than other people changed underwear.  Facebook was always a way to track her down.

He smiled at her profile picture.  Damn, she was a sight.  Absolutely beautiful.  Before sending her a message, he scrolled down her page. 
That
was odd.  She hadn’t posted anything in over a year.

Shit.
  Was she okay?  Had something happened to her?  He opened up the message box right away.  Their last conversation had taken place over two years earlier—the last time they’d hooked up.  She’d sent him a message, asking how he’d been doing, and he’d asked her out to dinner.  That last time had been a glorious two weeks.  Why did it always have to end with a stupid fight?  Every single damn time.

Still...he couldn’t help but have warm memories of her.  He hoped she was doing okay.  If something really bad had happened—like death—Valerie would have told him, right?

But the lack of activity on her page concerned him, so after typing in a quick
Hey, Jen.  How’s it goin, babe?
he closed the browser on his phone and pulled up Brad’s number, calling without giving the matter much more thought.

“Yeah?”

“You busy, man?”

“No.  What’s up?”

“I actually wondered if you could get some info from Val for me.”

Brad paused before asking, “What exactly?”

“I don’t know if you ever met Jennifer Manders...old college girlfriend.  I’m pretty sure her and Val stay in touch, and I’m hoping Val has her number.”

“Just a sec.”

Zane heard Brad set the phone down and could hear voices in the distance—Brad getting information from Val.  A few seconds later, though, he heard a voice whisper, “Hi, Zane.”

All right, that made him smile.  “Is that my buddy, Chris?”

Still whispering, he said, “Yeah.  Dad set his phone down on the table and I read your name.”

“You can read my name, buddy?”

Chris was no longer whispering.  “That’s what I’m going to school for, don’t you know?”

Zane started laughing.  “Sorry, man.  Fair enough.  So what else is up with you—besides school, I mean?”

The little boy started whispering again.  “Another new baby’s comin’.”

Zane frowned, trying to think of what Chris was talking about.  Hayley was already a year or two old—or more.  Shit.  He couldn’t quite remember.  And Scarlet, Ethan and Jenna’s baby, was...was maybe a year old...or two years old?  So Hayley was older?  Hell.  He had no way of remembering.  And, by then, he knew he had no idea what Chris was talking about.  “What baby?”

Chris’s voice got even quieter and Zane had to ask him to repeat it once before he whispered loudly, “Mama’s gonna have another baby but we don’t know what yet.”

Zane didn’t have a chance to react before he heard Brad say, “All right, little man.  Say goodbye to Zane.”

By the time Brad got on the line, Zane asked, “Is it true, man?”

“Yeah, but don’t say anything.  Val’s trying to keep it quiet for now.”

“No problem.  When’s the due date?”

“Don’t know yet.  She has her ultrasound tomorrow.  Anyway...Val has that number but, uh...she wanted me to ask if Jennifer would be okay with you calling her.”

“Why wouldn’t she?”

“Hell, I don’t know.  Hold on a sec.”  Zane couldn’t hear as well, but their voices were still clear.  “Honey, why don’t
you
talk to Zane?”  Seconds later, he heard, “Hey, man.  I’m gonna let you talk to the old lady.  Still meeting after the Fourth?”

“Yeah.  I think I’ll be ready then.”

“Me, too.  Here she is.”

After a slight pause, Zane heard his old friend and bandmate light up the airwaves with her voice.  “I am
not
an old lady.”  Zane heard Brad laugh and he could almost see the man’s face.  Brad was a much happier guy with Val in his life, and even though Zane hadn’t seen it coming, he felt like the two of them had been meant for each other.  “Hi, Zane.  How’ve you been?”

No way in hell was he going to tell her he just got out of a rehab stint for what had to be the bazillionth time.  He gave her the answer she wanted—
needed
—to hear.  “Fine.  You?”

“Life is good.  These guys keep me running.  Anyway...Brad said you were asking for Jennifer’s number.  Is there any reason why I shouldn’t give it to you?”

Zane laughed.  “What?  Like I’d tell you if there was a problem?  Do I seem like a fucking stalker to you, Val?”  Oh.  Maybe not the best joke, considering it hadn’t been quite two years since Val had had a stalker of her own.  “You know Jen and me have a lot of history...and I haven’t talked to her in forever.  I just wanna call her up, hear her voice, ask how she’s doing.”  And, no, he didn’t want to hear
about
it from Val.  He wanted to do the asking himself.

She sounded distracted when she added, “You guys always end up fighting.”

Zane clenched his jaw.  “You’re being overprotective, Val.  Ever think we fight because there’s a lot of passion?”  Holy shit.  He actually
said
it?  Well, it wasn’t like it was a big secret.  Jennifer Manders had been a heavenly body in Zane’s life, and every time he was near, he was pulled in a close orbit.  That he’d ever been able to leave had been the surprise.

“True.  Just...give me a day to call her and let her know I gave you her number.  I don’t want to shock her.”

“Shock?” 
Shut your mouth, Zane.  You’re getting what you want.

Val gave him the number and he wrote it down before he forgot.  But he had to end the phone call on a light note.  “So...Chris says you’re expecting child number three, is that right?”

* * *

Z
oe had finally drifted off in her crib and that was Jennifer’s cue to hit the hay as well.  She picked up her phone off the nightstand, because she always set the alarm on it to be a backup for the alarm on her dresser.  She saw then that she had a text from Val, her best friend from college and, even though they didn’t see each other as often as she would have liked, probably still her best friend of all time.  Whenever Val would call, Jennifer would pick up, but this time the woman had zipped a text message over instead. 
Just a heads up.  Zane asked me for your number.  I hope it’s okay.  I gave it to him.
  Val sent a second text with Zane’s number, probably so Jennifer could ignore the call or block him if she wanted to.

Just seeing Zane’s name made Jennifer’s heart skip a beat—maybe two.  It had always made Val uneasy how much the two of them would fight, especially the first time right before they broke up (and part of that might have been because Jennifer had never told Val
what
they’d been fighting about—it was a
private
matter), but Jennifer was starting to see a pattern.  The first time they broke up, it nearly killed her, because she’d fallen head over heels with Zane, but the fighting had grown to be exhausting and counterproductive—and it hadn’t solved a thing.  When, years later, they ran into each other at Valerie’s wedding, they couldn’t help but get back together, in spite of the fact that they’d both been kind of seeing someone else at the time.  And what Jennifer had thought was immaturity that led to argument she discovered was something else entirely.

They were obviously incompatible.

No, not incompatible.  More than once, they broke up because the arguing became unbearable.  Now, years later, Jennifer couldn’t even point to anything specific.  Oh, she could still remember what some of her own underlying issues had been, but she didn’t know today that she’d dealt with them productively back then.  She doubted she’d handled it well at all.  She’d likely come off as a jealous, insecure bitch instead of as what she really was—insecure, to be sure, but a woman in love and desperate to hang onto what she had.  And Zane’s angle?  She had no idea exactly where he’d been coming from, which had always been part of the intrigue with the man.  She’d never known quite what made him tick, but the chemistry between them had been undeniable.

The actual breaking up, though, usually had to do with Zane’s impulse control, for lack of a better phrase, but the arguing up to that point made splitting the right thing to do.

There really was no getting him out of her life now...and she didn’t know that she could pass up the chance to see him.  That was something she knew was beginning to be impossible.

Chapter Four

––––––––

Z
ANE COMPROMISED.  WHEN he’d hung up with Valerie the night before, he’d promised to give it two days before calling.  After waiting a day, though, he said,
Fuck it
.  She’d had a chance to alert her friend just like she’d asked, and he wasn’t willing to give her any more time.  He’d promised to wait...but now that he had Jennifer’s phone number (and no response to the message he’d left her on Facebook), asking him to wait was like asking a little kid with a fresh piece of frosted birthday cake sitting right in front of him to not run his finger along the edge so he could lick the icing off his finger.

Impossible.

So he called Jennifer that night, already prepared to leave a message—something simple, as casual as possible, but also letting her know that she’d been heavy in his thoughts.  He might not have the ability like his wordsmith friends to make a woman swoon with poetry, but he
did
get that she needed to know she was special, no matter how plain the words.  To tell her she’d not just been dancing in his head but consuming his every waking thought was to let her know she wasn’t just a bimbo or a quick lay or even a fond memory.  She was
present
in his mind.

Except she answered the call.

That too might have caused him to falter, but this was Jennifer he was calling.  Whether she wanted to be or not, she was a huge part of his life, had been with him as he’d been becoming the man he’d be (for better or worse—mostly worse), had witnessed his life just prior to big things happening.

She was an important part of his life.

When she answered with an innocent and quiet “Hello?” Zane almost felt his heart fill his chest.  God, he’d missed her—and he hadn’t realized how much until that moment.  He always forgot how empty he felt until she filled him up again.

“Jen?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s Zane.  How you been?”

“Oh, Zane.  Hi.  Um...great.  It’s, uh, it’s been a while.”

“Yeah, it has.  So I wondered if you wanted to get together for coffee...or dinner.  Just to catch up, you know.”  And, if she remembered all the times they’d gotten together before, she knew as much as he did that getting together also likely meant a wild and crazy fuck session at the end of the first reunion date, reaffirming that, yeah, there was no one else who made him feel the way she did.  He hoped it felt the same way for her.

It had to, right?

“I don’t know...”

That felt like a red light.  She’d
never
said that before.  Did that mean she was moving on, moving past him?  Was she no longer willing to try?

It felt like his heart was literally dropping from his chest into his abdominal cavity, as painful as one would expect.  But he wasn’t going to act like a weepy little baby.  If she
had
given up on him for good, he’d find a way to move on...or give up entirely.  He wasn’t sure yet, but there was no way he was going to force himself on this woman.

Zane swallowed and took a quick breath, knowing he had to keep his voice light.  “What’s not to know?  Two old friends, catching up and talking about old times.”

“I’m kinda busy nowadays.”

Oh.
  He was no idiot.  “Gotcha.  Boyfriend?  Uh, or
husband
?”  God, please,
no
.

Jennifer let out a nervous laugh.  “No.  I guess you could say I’m married to my work.”

“That exciting?”

“Not really...but bills, you know?  They kind of keep me in the relationship.”

Zane hated the idea that Jennifer might not love her work but be in it for the money.  In spite of all the pitfalls he’d experienced over the years, he loved his job.  Yeah, there had been major...
problems
, for lack of a better word, but he was still doing something he loved.  He’d gone to college for a year back when he first met Jennifer, looking for something “realistic,” something his old man had nagged him about, and Zane had jumped at the chance to get away from the bullshit of his home life.  His dad had hardly ever been around but, when he was, he used Zane’s head like a fucking basketball.  He would have done
anything
to get away, and going to college with his friend Ethan had seemed like the best, most obvious choice.  His mom had told him over and over that he should be a music teacher, but Zane hadn’t felt talented enough.  He could play the trumpet and find his way around a drum kit, but he loved the bass.  It was an underrated instrument, one that fans had often dismissed as unimportant, but Zane knew better.  Some of the smartest guys he’d ever met had been bassists.

BOOK: Locked and Loaded (Bullet, #6)
3.46Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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