Locked in Silence: Grimm's Circle, Book 5 (21 page)

“Don’t.”
He pushed his hand into her hair, fisted it. Gently, he tugged, forcing her to meet his eyes.
“Don’t make what we have into that—it’s more, and we both know it.”

“Do we?” she demanded. “
I
don’t. I told you I was falling in love with you, and you pushed me away. You made me feel like I was some stupid, foolish kid and you were just humoring me. I don’t know
what
we have.”

“I was wrong—you terrify me.”
Lowering his head, he pressed his brow to hers.
“You terrify me, Vanya. I’ve lived lifetimes—so many of them, and I’ve never known anybody who could terrify me the way you do. You weaken me, make me doubt…make me wonder. I’ve never wondered what it would be like
not
to be alone before you. It scares the life from me. And I don’t handle fear well. I didn’t know what you wanted from me.”

She shook her head. Tears, once more, sparkled in her eyes. “I didn’t want
anything
. All I did was tell you something—you didn’t have to
do
anything.”

“I know. I figured that out.”
He pressed his lips to her eyes, kissed away the tears that had fallen.
“I pushed you away—I know that, but I did it out of fear, not because I didn’t care for you.”

Vanya swallowed. So he cared for her.

That was something…right?

But it wasn’t enough.

Swallowing, she ducked out from under his arm, escaped the tempting cage of his body.

“I’m sorry it scared you. I guess I shouldn’t have dumped it on you like that,” she said stiffly. The knot in her throat made it almost impossible to speak, and she had to clear her throat just to manage that single sentence. Moving away from him, she stared out the window at the sprawl of mountains and trees. She had no idea where she was. No idea how to get away from here. She just hoped once she got out the door that either Will or Finn would show up—because she needed to be away from Silence, and fast.

He came up behind her, stroked his fingers down her neck. She shuddered, closed her eyes, resisted the urge to melt.

“You care for me,” she said softly. “But that’s not enough for me. You want to be alone. So fine—you get what you want. You can be alone. I’m not going to be some ‘friend with benefits’ while you decide if you want to risk
not
being alone.”

Setting her jaw, setting her shoulders, she told herself to walk away. To leave.

She eased away from the window, but as she turned around, Silence continued to stand there. His hands came up, framed her face.
“I’ve already decided that…alone may be easier, but I will not be without
you
.”

His voice echoed in her mind, harsh, demanding.
Pleading
…

And even as she tried to grasp what he was telling her, his mouth covered hers.
“I love you, Vanya. I love you—and I don’t want to be without you.”

She tore her mouth from his, shoved her hands between them so she could stare at him. “What?”

Tears blurred her eyes. Burned them. His hands came up and captured hers, lifting them to his mouth. He pressed a kiss to each balled up fist then guided them around his neck. Then, staring at her intently, he mouthed
“I love you
” even as he said the words into her mind.
“I love you. Now…are you still going to make me let you walk away?”

Dumbly, she stared at him.

“No.” She shoved away from him. “You’re…no. This isn’t happening. Damn it, you’re not going to fuck with my head like this, damn it.”

“Vanya—”

He caught her arm but she jerked away from him, desperate. Shaking her head, she backed away. “
No
. You can’t tell me that I
don’t
love you and then a week or so later, decide to tell me that you love me, that you want to be with me…”

She was shaking.

And he was stalking her, stalking her through the cabin as she backed away from him, his pale blue eyes intent on her face.
“Am I not allowed to fuck up? I made a mistake, and I’m sorry. I’ll beg your forgiveness if you want me to—I have no pride when it comes to you.”

She was trapped now. Trapped by another window, between the huge sheet of glass and his body. As he went to his knees in front of her, she realized his image was blurring.
“I beg you, Vanya. Forgive me—I made a mistake and I’m sorry for it.”

He held her hands in his, pressing his lips to the inside of her wrists, first one then the other.

Then he lifted his head, staring at her.
“Am I to let you walk away now? You’re my heart, my soul. If you don’t want to be with me, I will not force you to stay. But I
want
you with me.”

A sob escaped her.

Tearing her hands away, she covered her face. “Shit. You’re confusing me. What is this? What is this all about?”

His hands closed around her wrists and he eased them down.

“Somebody made it clear I can sit around and do nothing and lose you. I can think that you don’t know your mind, although it’s rather obvious you do, and have for quite some time. I can cling to my solitude. Remain alone. And you’ll move on.”
His hand touched her face, stroking her hair back, tucking it behind her ear.
“You’re strong and you do not fear solitude, nor do you fear giving your heart. You’ll move on and likely find a better man to give that amazing heart of yours to.”

His lips skimmed along her cheekbone.
“But I’m a miserable, selfish bastard. I don’t want that—you’re mine. I love you, damn it, and you’ve already given your heart to
me
. You’re mine…unless I’ve already lost you.”

A breath shuddered out of her as he lifted his face and stared at her.
“If you tell me that you wish to walk out of here, I’ll let you do it, Vanya. It’s your decision. Have I already lost you?”

She closed her eyes, her heart all but shuddering in her chest. Lost her?

No.

Even if she
had
walked away, she would have still been his—her heart would have been his, whether he wanted it or not. But he wanted it…wanted
her
…

Looking back at him, she reached up and cupped his face in her hands, staring into his impossibly blue eyes. “You lose me when you decide you don’t want me,” she said honestly. “I thought you didn’t want me, didn’t need me…I was just trying to give you that.”

“Then I’ll never lose you because I’ll always need you, always want you. Fuck, I love you.”

She heard a rasping sound and barely realized he’d dragged the zipper of her jeans down. Then he caught the thick fabric, shoved it to her knees. She sagged against the window sill, her hands braced against it, staring at him as he tore at the drawstring that held up a pair of loose gray sweats.

“You…” She licked her lips. “You really mean it, right?”

He moved in, bent his knees. One hand fisted in her hair, tugging her head back. As he kissed her, she felt the rounded head of his cock nudging at her entrance. Instinctively, she tried to widen her legs, but the jeans around her knees wouldn’t let her.

He pushed inside, past the resistance of her body, his body shuddering against hers. Tearing his mouth away, he gasped, mouthing her name.
“I love you—always you, only you,”
he told her.

A soft, broken cry escaped her. She arched against him, seeking to deepen the contact even as she reached up, her fingers curling around his neck, digging into him, clutching him tight.

“You love me…”

“I love you. And you…you came back. You called me back…”

“Because I love you.” She slanted her mouth over his and once more, struggled against the jeans trapping her legs.

Silence growled soundlessly, stooping to tear them away. She cried out as he left her, but then he was back, hooking his arms under her knees and lifting her.

He pushed inside, hard, demanding, and fast—she screamed.

“Scream again for me…let me hear it,”
he told her, his voice in her mind hot and smoky with approval. One hand came between them, his thumb stroking over her clit.

She whimpered, crying out.

Silence eased back, staring down at them, watching as he took her.

She watched him—staring at his face, into his eyes—

When he looked back at her, that pale, icy blue all but burned her. His mouth came back to hers, tongue and teeth nipping and tasting.
“All mine,”
he said.
“All mine, for always…”

“I love you.”

He twisted his hips, pressed against her just there—

With a cry, she climaxed around him.

And as his big body shuddered against hers, she knew he followed.

His arms, holding her tight, shook.

“You came back…”
he said again.
“And I’m not letting you go.”

Vanya smiled against his damp shoulder. “I don’t plan on leaving,” she whispered.

They still had some things to work out, she figured. But she knew what she needed to know.

She loved him.

He loved her. And despite a lifetime of solitude, he hadn’t wanted a life without her…that was enough.

About the Author

Shiloh Walker has been writing since she was a kid. She fell in love with vampires with the book Bunnicula and has worked her way up to the more…ah…serious works of fiction. She loves reading and writing anything paranormal, anything fantasy, and nearly every kind of romance. Once upon a time she worked as a nurse, but now she writes full time and lives with her family in the Midwest. She writes paranormal and contemporary romance, as well as romantic suspense.

Look for these titles by Shiloh Walker

Now Available:

The Huntress

Hunter’s Edge

My Lady

Playing for Keeps

For the Love of Jazz

Vicious Vixen

Always Yours

Talking with the Dead

No Longer Mine

Taking Chances

The Redeeming

Beautiful Girl

A Forever Kind of Love

Grimm’s Circle

Candy Houses

No Prince Charming

I Thought It Was You

Tarnished Knight

You can always come home. Second chances come a little harder.

A Forever Kind of Love

© 2011 Shiloh Walker

Chase and Zoe were the high school golden couple. Football captain, cheerleader, prom royalty. After graduation, though, Chase couldn’t resist the urge to experience life outside their small town. He didn’t exactly expect Zoe to wait twelve years for him, but now that he’s back, he finds some small part of him hoping she did.

It’s no big surprise she’s married. The kick in the face is she married his best friend.

Zoe was devastated when Chase left, but she’s filed those bittersweet memories under “Moved On”. She loves her life, and loves her husband. She has all she needs. And Chase keeps an honorable distance.

One cold, wet, miserable day, tragedy turns Zoe’s world upside down. Chase never expected her to simply fall into his arms, but a man can dream. Except his dream doesn’t include the fact that this time, she’s the one hitting the road…and he’s the one left behind.
 

Warning: This story contains heartbreak, heartache and one last chance for two lovers to find each other.

Enjoy the following excerpt for
A Forever Kind of Love:

Staring at the bag of books, Chase tried to tell himself to just leave it on the porch and get back in his car.

Instead of doing that, which was probably the smarter thing, he knocked on the door. Hell, he knew Roger needed a distraction and he’d just gotten some new political thrillers in that were just up the guy’s alley—and two of them were audio books.

Zoe’s favorite urban fantasy author had a new book out.

Books were a nice distraction at any time, right?

It wasn’t like he didn’t have a good reason for swinging by.

Ever since he’d found out about Roger’s diagnosis, the petty anger he’d harbored against his friend… Well, Chase had realized just how fucking petty it was, and he’d shoved it straight where it needed to go, out of his heart, out of his mind.

They might never have the friendship they’d had in high school, but they were friends and right now, both Zoe and Roger needed all the friends they could get.

And Chase needed to be there for both of them as much as he could.

Besides, his dad was worrying about him too. Ever since Roger had turned in his resignation, the old man had come by as often as he could, but it was now re-election time and instead of visiting every couple of days, he could only get by once a week or so and Chase had promised he’d come by today.

All valid reasons.

Nobody needed to know it was a perfectly legit cover for him to be able to look at Zoe and soothe the ragged pain inside his heart, one that gotten worse ever since the time he’d laid eyes on her again in the city square a few months back.

He couldn’t help her.

She was going through something he couldn’t even imagine and he couldn’t do shit to help.

Except bring some books for Roger and offer to help out at her store as much as he could, and that didn’t count for much of anything. He couldn’t take this pain from her, he couldn’t fix Roger—as fucking jealous as he was, he’d fix the man in a heartbeat if it was in his power, but he couldn’t.

All he could do was stand by and watch as two people he loved suffered.

The door swung open and the smile and speech he’d rehearsed faded away into nothing as he found himself staring at Zoe’s face.

“Chase, hi.”

Forcing himself to smile, he held out the bag. “Hey. Wanted to bring this by. And I promised my dad I’d come by and check on things.”

She might have barred him from coming in but he edged past her, forcing her to back up unless she wanted him brushing up against her. Which she didn’t—Chase was fully aware of the extreme care she took
not
to let him touch her. The door closed behind them and he turned to study Zoe’s face.

She looked tired.

Still so fucking beautiful it made his heart ache just to look at her, but tired. Like she could sleep for a week.