London Dusk (A Dawn to Dusk Novella) (3 page)

If it had been the other way around
, and I was in his shoes, I would want something as well.

My phone tinkled again
, and another message from Jax flashed up on the screen.
I'm coming round with wine as soon as I finish work.
Despite everything, I smiled. She knew exactly what I needed: a good girly sob session over booze.

I blew my nose into a slightly crumpled tissue I found at the bottom of my bag
, disgusted that I had been subconsciously wiping it on my jacket sleeve. Jax would be appalled if she saw me in a state like this.

Before I pulled out of my park
, I sent a text to Luke, not knowing how on earth I was going to do this.
Luke… you'll get your money. But just give me some time.

***

I'd had far too much to drink
, and knew that I was well and truly past my capable limits. But I just didn't care, and Jax kept the wine flowing freely into my glass, which I kept freely pouring down my throat.

The fire was roaring as Jax put more wood on top of it
, and when she finished, she sat down on the floor opposite me stretching out her legs.

"So
..." She looked at me with glazed eyes. "How are you going to make the money that Luke wants? What can you do?"

"I have no idea
," I answered glumly. And I really didn't know. I had tried finding a job, and I'd already got a loan from the bank. "I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place with this ... but Luke will hopefully give me some time."

Jax shrugged
. "He may. Or he could just be a prick about the whole thing and want it all now." She sighed. "I wouldn't put it past him."

She lit a cigarette from the fire's flames
, and held the pack out towards me. I took one, not even thinking twice. I knew I probably shouldn't smoke, as I had given it up years ago, but I was beyond a state of caring. No one was here to look at me disapprovingly, and I no longer had to answer to anyone.

I lit the cigarette and took a deep draw on it. It felt good.
Tasted good. I smiled, enjoying the moment.

"If Luke comes back to me saying he wants it now
, he's just going to have to wait anyway. I don't have the money, and I'll be damned if he's going to bankrupt me."

Jax burst out laughing
, and took a slug on her wine glass. She looked at me thoughtfully as she swallowed her mouthful. "There are plenty of ways to make money if you're willing and able."

"No doubt
," I agreed. "But for a washed up old historian like me?"

Jax shook her head
. "You're not 'washed up' or even that old. Stop talking negatively about yourself like that. You have plenty of qualities that you could utilise ... You just need to think outside the box a little."

I had another puff of the cigarette
, enjoying it far too much. "What box?"

She shrugged
, and blew out an audible sigh. "The box you have yourself in, Mack. Do you know how I managed to buy my apartment freehold?"

I nodded
. "Prostitution."

Jax looked momentarily offended
, and then smiled. "Yes, essentially. Acting as a High Class Escort. You know, you could do the same. You don't even have to sleep with the clients to easily earn ten grand a night. You could look into it."

I snorted
. "You have got to be joking!" I had a gulp of my wine, while still chuckling to myself. When I looked up at her, I instantly saw she was being deadly serious. "You're serious?!"

"I am. I made a lot of money that way
, Mack - and you could do the same."

I shook my head
. "No way. Just ... no. I can't have sex with people for money. It's just not in my DNA. You ... You're gorgeous, and you have this confidence and air about you that makes you sexy. Me? I have nothing like that ..." I trailed off, watching Jax as she watched me. I was actually kind of speechless. She meant it. I was way too pissed to be having this sort of conversation.

"You don't have to sleep with the clients. That's what I'm saying. For ten grand a night
, they are literally just paying you to escort them somewhere or for your company. When I worked for Annalise, we were ... what would you call it. Extremely Upper to High Class Escorts. If they want to sleep with you the client pays a lot more. Don't you think that's something worth thinking about?"

She had a point
.

She leaned forward
. "I was making thirty grand a week for three nights work. You could do the same, and still tinker around with your little history reports."

I stared at her
. "Thirty grand?"

That was more money than I could possibl
y imagine thinking about right now. That was an insane amount of cash.

"Yes
, at least. I worked three days a week for Annalise, and that was my base rate. I paid for my education, my apartment, my car, everything I needed came out of that. And I even managed to put some aside as a buffer when I stopped working for her. It was really a win-win situation."

I put my hand up to my face
. "Look at this face?! Does this face look like someone who could sleep with other people for money?"

Jax burst out laughing
. "Sure. Look, all you have to do is read a few sexy books, maybe loosen up your mind a little bit for when you're in the bedroom, and you'll be fine."

Just the thought of me reading smutty books had me giggling. I was the first to admit I was a bit of a literary prude when it came to my
reading tastes. I slowly shook my head. "Oh, I don't know. I'm just not that confident."

Jax snorted
. "That's because you've never been with the right men. You would know sexual confidence if you had been."

I shrugged
. "You probably have a point."

Jax started giggling
. "Look, if you wanted to, you could always imagine the position Nicole was in when you walked in. A bit of BDSM wouldn't lead you astray. In fact ... it might actually empower you."

I stared at her for a moment
, realised she was serious, and drained my glass. "And on that note, I think I should go to bed," I said, realising that the room was spinning just a little too much.

Jax smiled
, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "Okay. Just promise me you'll think about it. I'm still in contact with Annalise, and I'm sure she would help you out."

I went to stand up but lost my footing and had to grab the coffee table to stay upright.
"Okay," I muttered. "I'll have a think about it."

***

I was never drinking again. I could feel my heart
beat pounding through my head as soon as I woke from a very groggy sleep. I felt as though I'd hardly slept at all. I reached for the water glass on the bedside table, only to find it was empty. Morning sunlight streamed through the gaps in the bedroom curtains, hurting my eyes. I blinked a few times trying to clear my head, but it wasn't going to happen without some sort of medical assistance.

Swinging my legs out o
f the bed, I groaned. Hangovers were honestly the worst side effect of drinking alcohol. I ran my tongue over my teeth, only to encounter nasty morning fuzziness, even worse than normal since I failed to brush my teeth before climbing into bed last night. Stumbling to the bathroom with my water glass, I turned on the tap, and filled it. My reflection caught my eye, and I leaned closer to look at myself. "McKenna Carmichael, you are losing it," I muttered.

I was a wreck. My long blonde hair was still up in its standard ponytail
, but it looked as though it had been attacked by a bunch of birds. My eyes were bloodshot, especially since my contacts were still in, and they now felt scratchy as well. I pulled the contacts out of my eyes, and sighed at my blurry reflection. My skin felt clammy and yuck. I filled the sink with hot water, and reached for a facecloth to dip. As the wet cloth met my skin, relief swept through me.

Yesterday had been one of the worst days of my life. I
had no idea how on earth I was going to find the money to pay Luke. If I had gone and worked for Oxford University when I was offered a position there, I would have made a very good income. But Luke had persuaded me to stay private, saying that he would support me. He said he liked having someone at home… reminded me him of his mother staying at home and keeping house, with cooked meals, clean washing, and warmth.

I should have walked then
.

While it was great having Luke support me to do one of the things I loved the most
, it also took some extreme focus to write. So in all honesty, clean washing and cooked meals weren't exactly a priority for me during those times. I just never realised how neglected or lonely Luke felt. He had told me numerous times that he wanted to support my passion for writing and studying history. That he liked how obsessive I became over details, and that he liked that it made me happy. We had always spent plenty of time together, even when I was working. We saw a lot of movies, went out for dinner, and spent time with friends or just each other. I never ever thought that I had neglected him or our relationship because of my work. Or was it that he was just a dog, and using my work as an excuse for developing a relationship with Nicole?

I
'm the first to admit that I'm addicted to my work, and hiding myself away in the archives when I can. More than the archives, I loved the travel. There is nothing quite as magical as travelling around Europe and delving into the history behind it.

But regardless of how much I loved my job
, it didn't change the fact that I had absolutely no money to pay Luke.

It was good having Jax here to listen to my sob story for the millionth time. Thank god I didn
't lose her as well during all of this. Jax made me feel like I didn't need either of them. In a way, I knew she was right, but it didn't stop me from missing them.

A knock on my bedroom door pulled me from my sombre thoughts. I wrapped my dressing gown around me
, and opened the door.

Jax fell through it
, passing me painkillers as she made her way past me to my bed. "God damn it, Mack, why the hell did we have to drink so much last night?"

I popped two painkillers and disappeared into the bathroom. I turned on the tap and shoved my face under the faucet and slurped at the water. Nothing had ever tasted more amazing
.

"
Your spare bed is bloody uncomfortable, by the way," Jax called out to me. Despite feeling like shit, I smiled. That was Luke's bed from his student days. Another thing to throw on the lawn when I got around to it.

I exited the bathroom
, and cast my eyes to Jax's. "I'm a mess."

She looked amazing
, even with a hangover. Long, dark, glossy hair fell around her chocolaty eyes. Jax was French, but she'd moved to England to study. I met her at a party once, and we had stuck together like glue ever since. Her full name was Jacqueline, spoken in that gorgeous and sophisticated French way, but ever since she'd arrived in London, she'd shortened it to Jax. When she met me, she started calling me Mack, even though most people knew me as McKenna.

"
It was Luke's bed." I walked around to the other side of my bed, and climbed in beside her. "He'll be needing that now, I'm guessing."

Jax
's eyes twinkled with mischief. "Perhaps we could airlift it and drop it through the roof of Nicole's house as a ‘free delivery'."

I shook my head
, snorting with laughter. "If I had the money – I wouldn't hesitate. Instead, he can pick it up from the lawn with the rest of his crap."

"
I would have burnt it as soon as he left." She pulled a packet of cigarettes out of her robe. "Shall we?"

My instincts screamed no
, but I found myself nodding. The cigarette met my lips, and I lit it. Aunt Elsie would kick my arse if she knew I was smoking in her house. Luke would be disgusted, but I no longer gave a shit about what he thought. I got out of bed and opened one of the windows so that my bedroom wouldn't completely reek of smoke.

"
Have you given any more thought to my proposition?" Jax asked.

I turned to her
. "You're not serious?"

Jax shrugged at me
. "Well, you can make a lot of money. It's entirely up to you."

"
It's prostitution, Jax!"

She shrugged again
, blowing out a lung full of smoke. "It's ‘escorting', and a lot of the time you don't even sleep with the men, remember?" Her dark gaze met mine. "I made a lot of money. I just think you should consider it."

I reached down to the bedside drawer
, and retrieved a pair of glasses. There was no way I could sleep with someone for money. Just the thought of it made me feel ill. I was nothing like Jax. She was beautiful and chic. People were drawn to her. I wasn't like that. Even if I was getting paid a load of money.

"
I don't know if I can do it, Jax," I muttered. "I can't even read sex scenes in books – I skip over them. How am I supposed to perform the act with strangers? I'm not like you."

She laughed
. "You are more like me that you know…" She stood up and made her way towards me. She dragged me over to the mirror, and tucked some lose strands behind my ear. "Look at yourself, Mack. You are not the prude you think you are." I lifted my eyes to meet her concerned ones in the mirrors reflection. "You are a stunningly beautiful woman. You have been burnt by people who don't deserve your love. But you need the money." She removed my glasses, and placed them on the windowsill, and let my hair loose from the rubber band I had tied around it.

My insides turned at her words. I did need the money.
"But—"

She lifted her finger to her lips to stop me talking.
"You have some of the bluest eyes I have ever seen." She spun me around and brushed my stringy hair out of my face a bit, loosely combing through it with her fingers. "And yes, your hair needs some work as you never look after it, but trust me – you have the base. I can turn you into a very desirable creature if you let me."

Her warm and comforting words wrapped themselves around me.
"Do you really think so?"

She chuckled
. "What, you think that because that dog cheated on you it means you're not beautiful, desirable?" She tutted with a shake of her head. "You are one of the most caring and wonderful women I know. You will find love again one day – but in the meantime, you need to pay that asshole back and get him out of your life." She lifted some lipstick and gently applied it, then turned me back to the mirror "You are beautiful, Mack. See? And if you let me help you, it won't be too much of a struggle."

Yikes. She saw me so differently to how I saw myself. Even with her playing with my hair and putting on lipstick
, I could kind of see a difference. I turned away from her, crossed the room, and stared out the window nervously. Selling myself for money? It wasn't too different from what I already did. Each time I wrote a history report, a little piece of my soul was embedded into it… and people paid for that. But sleeping with a stranger? Having sexual prowess? I had absolutely no idea how I would do that. My mouth went dry just at the thought.

Jax was watching me patiently
, waiting for a response. I looked back at her, giving her a brief smile. She had been there and done that – and there was nothing wrong with her. She wasn't scarred from the experience, or some sort of closet sexual deviant… that I knew of.

The more I thought about it
, the more I realised what she was saying made sense. If I was earning ten grand a night, then I could pay for Elsie's care, pay Luke back in chunks, as well as still live. "Okay." I breathed.

"
Okay what?"

"
Okay, I'll let you help me."

She gave me a sharp nod
. "Good. Just remember, this is not a lifelong commitment – just a way to make the money to pay Luke back. Then you can go back to doing what you do best – being a hermit." She grinned as she pulled out her phone and looked up a number. "I'm going to call my old manager before you change your mind."

I watched her leave the room
, wondering what the hell I had just signed myself up for. Throwing my cigarette out the window, I felt the shower calling to me.

***