London Falling (36 page)

And despite the fact that she’d never felt like this in her entire life.

She felt like a traitor even thinking it, but there it was. The honest truth.

There was something between William and her that surpassed anything she’d ever felt for her husband. Gordy had been comfortable. Safe.

William was not.

William wanted a serious relationship, but she couldn’t give herself up like that. She had plans for her life, and they didn’t include the sort of life that William would expect her to lead. She’d said no, but given him no explanation, no reason for running. He deserved to know why she’d run. It was like she’d told Aimee, you couldn’t avoid a relationship because you thought it wouldn’t work out. And even though a relationship with William wouldn’t work out, she wanted to open herself up to him. Have a bit of fun.

She rang the bell once again. For all she knew, William was out with some other woman. That would explain why he hadn’t been at home for the past two days. But she couldn’t give up now, when she was so close. She felt like the heroine in Erica Jong’s book–about to leave her safe husband for an exciting affair, free falling into an unknown world. An affair that wouldn’t last, but would help her find herself.

The door opened and William stood in front of her. His blue eyes registered surprise and she couldn’t look away.

Her knees turned to butter.

“Hello,” she managed to say, sounding almost normal.

“Why are you here?” he asked but without emotion. His eyes didn’t even smile, like they had last time she saw him.

Dottie suddenly felt self-conscious. All of the thinking she’d done in the past few days, and she’d never considered what she was going to say to William. “Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

He stepped back from the door, and she entered his flat. She felt like a teenage girl, uncertain and awkward. She looked around the hall, rather than at him. A suitcase was leaning against the wall by the door.

“Are you going somewhere?” she asked. With some other woman?

“I just got back from Birmingham,” he said.

That’s right. He owned a plant or something there. “Oh,” she said. That would explain why he wasn’t there the past four times she’d come round.

William cleared his throat.

Dottie waited, but he didn’t say anything. “Were you going to say something?” she asked.

“No. I was waiting for you to tell me why you came round to see me?”

“Oh.” Dottie spied a Chinese vase on a table and moved closer to inspect it.

“Dottie?” he asked.

She had to get a grip. She was a grown woman. A widow for heaven’s sake. She could have an intelligent conversation about sex. She swallowed. “I wanted to talk to you about what happened on New Year’s Eve.”

William sighed. “Dottie. You don’t have to explain. We’re both adults here. If you don’t want me, then you don’t want me. I understand.”

“No. You don’t understand.” She turned, but couldn’t face him. “I do want you.”

He said nothing, but she heard him swallow all the way across the hall.

She glanced at him, but he looked exactly the same. Stiff and unwelcoming.

“Why did you turn me away?”

Dottie sighed and walked over to the other table, trailing her fingers on the beveled edge. “Because I don’t want this life.”

She felt his heat before she saw him standing next to her. “I don’t understand. What life?”

She turned to face him and waved her hand through the air. “This.

Everything. Charity lunches. Business dinners with prospective clients.

Planning benefits. I’m through with it.”

He placed his hands on her upper arms and leaned down to stare into her eyes. “I don’t recall asking you to do any of that.”

“I know what kind of life you lead. And the type of life someone you were involved with would need to lead. You need a hostess. An ambassador into society. And I’m good at that. I understand. But I don’t want that life anymore.”

William stared at her for what seemed like hours, but must have been a few seconds. The heat from his hands burned through the thick wool of her coat. “So this is why you turned me down? Because you thought I wanted a hostess?”

She nodded.

He bent his head down and forced her to look into his dark eyes. “But if I just wanted you for sex that would be okay?”

She nodded again.

“I’ll never understand women,” he said, sighing. Then he pulled her closer, so their noses were almost touching. “Done.”

Her body turned to gelatin. “Done? Done what?”

“I accept your terms,” he said. “I’ll just use you for sex. You can be my sex slave. Or, I’ll be yours. Whichever you prefer.”

His voice rolled over her in waves. Her entire body tingled. She was getting exactly what she wanted. He kissed the sensitive spot on her neck, just below her jawbone. This seemed too good to be true. She pulled back.

“What?” he asked.

“Are you sure?”

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted you?” He pulled her back into his arms. He whispered into her ear. “Do you remember the Children’s Hospital Benefit? The one at Claridge’s?”

Did she remember? It was imprinted on her brain. Everything had gone wrong that night. She’d spent the entire night fixing problems. It seemed she’d barely slipped a bite of food into her mouth before someone else was at her side asking for her to solve another problem. Gordy had been so upset because he couldn’t enjoy the evening with all of the interruptions. And William had been seated at their table. It was at least a year after his wife’s death, so he was alone.

She pulled away so she could see his face. “What about that night?”

“I’ve wanted you since that night. You were so strong and capable. You didn’t even blink when someone else came up to you with an issue.”

Her throat tightened. It was just as she thought. He wanted her because she could represent him well in society.

“You were wearing a navy dress that night. And a diamond necklace. You turned your face towards whoever was asking for your help, and a lock of hair escaped your style, and it caressed your neck right here.” He reached out and brushed the tip of his finger just below her ear. “And all I could think about was being able to kiss you there.”

She suddenly remembered that he had left in a hurry that night, before dinner was even over, claiming a headache. Gordy had been upset because he didn’t have anyone to talk to when she was so busy. “That’s why you left?”

“Do you have any idea what it was like for me? To realize I wanted my best friend’s wife? It’s been eating me up inside for years.” He swallowed. “It’s why I’ve stayed away for so long.”

Did he really want her? For her? “Why me?”

He laughed. “Why you? Why not you? You’re beautiful. Intelligent. Fun to be around. Highly capable.” He pulled her close once again. “And then there’s this,” he said, kissing her with all the passion she’d never dreamed possible.

Yes, this was what she wanted. She knew it with every part of her soul.

“And then, of course, there’s the fact that you offered to be my sex slave.”

He kissed her, but she could feel his lips smiling. “But if that’s the case, you’re wearing entirely too many clothes for my taste. You don’t want to displease the master, do you?”

Could she really do this? She’d only been with one man in her life, and he’d fairly consumed her. Could she have a relationship with someone and still keep her identity? William motioned with his finger that she should unbutton her clothes.

She stepped out of his arms and unbuttoned her coat. She dropped it to the floor. William nearly jumped out of his skin. She pulled off her polo.

Unhooked her bra. Dropped it to the floor. Unzipped her skirt. It had been so long, and she was ready. “I’m so glad we finally have a chance to be alone.

Master,” she added while batting her eyelashes.

William’s eyes sparkled. “Just you, me, and the cleaning service.”

She froze. The cleaners were here? His smile clued her in that he was joking. “You’re going to pay for that.”

He pulled her into his arms. “I hope so. I certainly hope so.”

And then he led her up to his bedroom where she made him pay handsomely. And then he loved her until she forgot everything but him.

Simon opened the door as dread settled heavy in his stomach. Cupcake’s owners had called and were on their way over to pick him up. Their maid had left the door open while some furniture was delivered, and the puppy had disappeared. They’d seen his notice when they returned from their trip to the Seychelles.

Cupcake’s tail started waving as soon as he saw Simon. Of course, the dog was sitting by the door. He’d been there since Aimee had left, except when he deigned to sleep at the bottom of Simon’s bed. When Simon actually slept. Most of the time, he’d been searching the youth hostels and areas around the train stations, hoping to find some trace of Aimee. No luck.

Simon let the dog out the back to do his business and then gathered up his food. He’d gotten used to having a puppy around the house. And he was a reminder of Aimee. He put Cupcake’s food and blanket in a bag and called him in. Then he sat down on the floor of the kitchen to scratch his belly one last time.

“You like that don’t you?” Cupcake lolled on his back, and Simon could swear the dog was smiling at him. “Poor puppy. Have to say goodbye to two people in one week.

“I can’t believe I’m talking to a dog.” Still, he pulled Cupcake into his lap and let him curl up there. He was going to miss this dog, but not nearly as much as he already missed Aimee.

Fortunately, his mobile rang, saving him from continuing to talk out loud to a puppy.

“Hiya, it’s me,” Lucy said from the other end.

“Have you heard from her?”

“No. But I know where she is.”

Simon’s heart almost stopped. He felt a yearning so intense, he wondered if Lucy could feel it all the way across town. “Where is she? Is she okay?”

“She’s line. She’s back at university.”

He exhaled loudly. She was safe. And she’d made her classes too. How had she gotten home? He’d been calling the station every day to see if she’d been in to pick up her things, and she’d never come in to the station. “How did she get home?”

“Get this–Aunt Dot loaned her the money for a ticket home!”

Simon almost fell over. The only thing that saved him was the fact that he was already sitting on the floor.

“How did she get her to accept it?”

“Charged her about a million percent in interest.”

Simon smiled. That was smart. Make Aimee feel like she was being taken advantage of. Too bad he hadn’t thought of it earlier. But then he wouldn’t have been able to spend time with Aimee. And fall in love with her.

The front door rang.

“I have to go,” he said. “I’ll ring you later.”

Cupcake was already racing towards the front door, prepared to greet the newcomers with fierce licks and amazing feats of jumping. Simon stood unmoving. He didn’t want to see Cupcake go. Not when he still had a chance with Aimee. Aimee didn’t need another person-uh-mammal leaving her in the lurch. Aimee was right. The owners didn’t deserve the dog, not after they left him for two weeks without even checking on him.

He knew what he had to do. Simon opened the door.

Aimee unlocked the door to her garden apartment and flipped on the light.

It was always dark in the small studio, but the rent was cheap and it was close to school. And the owner, who lived upstairs, was fairly quiet. Of course, Aimee was almost never home, so it didn’t matter all that much.

She locked the door behind her, turned around, and sighed. No Cupcake here to greet her. No Simon either. Nothing but her old futon, a used desk, and her phone ringing. She hoped it was The Crab Shack calling to ask her if she wanted to pick up an extra shift. They were short-handed since Rodney hadn’t come back, and Aimee could use the money.

Whoever it was, Aimee had to hurry, because she was almost late for her marketing strategy class, and the professor took points off your grade for every late arrival.

“Hello,” she said.

“I don’t know whether I’m pleased you’re safe, or if I’m angry with the way you left.”

Aimee slumped into her desk chair. “Hey, Lucy.” Hearing her clipped accent made her want to cry for all she’d left in London. She flipped on the desk lamp. “I would have emailed sooner, but with classes and work …”

Aimee trailed off. There was no excuse for not saying goodbye. Except that she couldn’t have done it, not without losing her hard-fought composure.

“Do you know how long we searched for you? Simon and I searched the streets every night for you. And he called every shelter in London. We thought you were sleeping on the streets!”

Aimee couldn’t get any words past the lump in her throat. She never thought that they cared enough to search for her.

“I thought we were close enough that you could say goodbye,” Lucy continued. “That I wouldn’t have to get your phone number from Aunt Dot.”

Aimee swallowed. Sucked in a giant breath. “I know. I’m sorry. I just thought after the way Simon and I ended things …”

“After you and Simon ended things? That’s not the same version I heard.”

Aimee sat up, at full attention. “What are you talking about?”

“I promised Simon I wouldn’t talk about this with you.” Lucy sighed.

Aimee couldn’t move a muscle. In the silence, she heard Lucy tapping her fingernails on something hard in the background.

“Screw it,” Lucy said.

Aimee almost smiled at the American expletive she had taught her.

“Why did you break up with my brother?” Lucy asked, surprising her with her directness.

Aimee realized her hands were shaking. “Isn’t it obvious that it wasn’t going to work out between us?”

“No. It’s not. Do you know that right now he is working his tail off to try to win the princes’ business so our father will drop his ridiculous ultimatum?”

Aimee opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

“He’s doing it so he can win you back.”

For a split second, Aimee’s heart soared. He wanted her back! But then she crashed back to reality. It didn’t matter what Simon did. He could win the banking business of every person in Great Britain and his father still wouldn’t loosen his hold over Simon. He’d still force Simon to break up with her.