Long Distance Love (3 page)

A dry sob escaped Cecilia’s mouth and Harry tilted her face upwards, wiping away the lone tear that was flowing down. He hushed her and embraced her, carding his fingers through her hair.

Deciding that a short moment wasn’t enough, he guided her through the dark streets and they ended up behind the warehouse they frequent. The night was still and they can hear the thrum of the crickets and the frogs’ collective croaks. The girl clutched his hand and he entwined their fingers together to ease her nerves.

They settled under a tree and stared up at the starless sky. “It might be a while before I can see you again,” he tried to keep a steady voice but failed. Cecilia sniffed and he closed his eyes, not wanting to see her cry because of him.

“Why? Is there danger? Will you be okay?” the gentleness of her voice broke his heart. It was more than danger, and it may be more than just a while before they can see each other again but he did not say it out loud for fear of worsening the mood.

“Yeah,” he replied.

She brought her hands around his neck, half of her body almost seated on his lap and clung to him closely. Their bodies melted with each other, the dips and curves slotting together perfectly, and he can feel each time she heaved a deep breath.

“How long?”

He didn’t answer. Instead, he tilted her head and captured her lips in a hungry kiss, something he had never done before. She dug her fingers into his back as the kiss became more intoxicating. It was too much and she didn’t know how to keep up, but at the same time, it made her want more.

Harry laid her down on the grass, bringing his hand behind her head for protection, their lips never parting until Cecilia pushed him away, panting. “Harry,” she whispered, her voice stuttering and her breath shallow. Whatever she wanted to say was interrupted again by the soldier’s lips, his hands running up and down her arms, while he nibbled her lower lip.

He traced his lips down the column of her neck and she gasped softly at the gentle touches, calling out his name. Her body was burning despite the cold of the night but the soldier wasn’t faring any better. His touches left goosebumps in their wake and that night, they surrendered to the temptation, throwing all precautions away.

Every kiss was a glimmer of hope that they will see each other again. Every touch was a reminder that they will be together, no matter what happens. And every soft exchange of ‘I love you’s’ was a promise that this night was just the start.

***

“You’re alive,” she stated the obvious, unable to believe that Harry is in front of her after the eight years that he was gone.

“I am,” he looked down. The accusation in her voice was prominent and the shame and guilt he had harbored for almost a decade were swallowing him whole.

They sat a good distance from each other, at the ends of the bench by the plaza. A few people were around, most of them throwing curious glances at their way.

“Eight years, Harry,” she began, the hurt evident in her voice but she regained composure. She wasn’t going to cry. She was done crying for the man she thought was gone for good.

He inched closer. For a second, he thought that she will run again but she remained seated, waiting.

“I’m sorry.”

The tears fell down her cheeks and Cecilia wiped them away furiously but they didn’t stop.

***

It wasn’t long before the war reached their province. When she woke up one day in December, she heard the news that the military base in their area have been assaulted and many were severely injured and the number of casualties was undetermined.

Their family was brought into a safer place in the mountains along with the other residents and they weren’t able to refuse. They needed the protection and with a heavy heart, they abandoned their homes and farmlands. For Cecilia, she had also left the man that she loved.

Faint sounds of gunshots and explosions comprised their daily lives and Cecilia could only clutch the rosary in her hands as she said her prayers for the safety of her family and Harry. She never saw him at the place where they relocated most of the civilians and she wanted to ask the other soldiers if they have any news about him but she was scared. It was a hard thing to decide whether she preferred to know the truth if he was safe or not or to prolong her agony in hopes that he would show up one day, unscathed and with that grin on his face that she adored.

A month passed and there was no news. Cecilia stared off into a distance, away from the people surrounding a large table where plates of food were laid. Her eyes were dull and sore and the bags underneath were dark. She held a mug of coffee in her hands and took a sip, wrinkling her nose at the bitter taste.

There was a churn in her stomach and she felt the bile rise in her throat. Settling the mug on the ground, she scrambled for the grasses and threw up. The nausea didn’t go down and it was coupled with dizziness, which she dismissed as something that she probably ate for breakfast.

Except that it wasn’t as the episode had a repeat in the following days. Fortunately, her parents always busied themselves with other matters and didn’t require them to always stay by their sides. They knew that the soldiers would never let anyone stray into dangerous places and it made them complacent.

At the fifth day, something stirred in the young lady’s guts. She may have an inkling of what’s happening to her and she was reminded of the night they spent together. A drop of tear fell on her face and not for the first time in the past weeks, now more than ever, she wished that Harry was there with her.

***

The plaza was buzzing with people and Cecilia’s tears have long dried. The man beside her was silent, thinking of how he should explain everything without hurting the other’s feelings. Cecilia, on the other hand, stole glances from time to time. It was indeed the Harry she knew, not someone who resembled him nor a figment of her imagination.

Clearing his throat, he faced her and released a deep breath. “I was a coward,” he admitted through gritted teeth. It took him a long time to admit it to himself, and saying it out loud is a huge slap in his face.

“When the war broke out, it was worse than I imagined. I thought I was prepared,” he lowered his head and rested on his hands. His words were muffled but their close proximity didn’t deter Cecilia from hearing the tremor in his voice. “The blood, seeing my people I knew die...” he was shaking and something she suspected as tears dropped on his knees, wetting the denim pants he was wearing.

He lowered his hands and balled them into fists, the knuckles turning white and blunt nails digging into his palm. Cecilia can see how much he was struggling but she didn’t interfere.

Wiping the tears, he continued to sniffle and waited until his knees stopped shaking. “It was too much to take. I thought I was gonna die and I only thought of you,” he directed his gaze to her, eyes still brimming with tears. “I remembered you and for the first time in my life, I felt so scared to die. Because it meant not seeing you again.” His voice turned hoarse but he continued on.

Cecilia clenched her hands into fists.

“The last thing I remembered was darkness and next thing I knew, I was back in the US and being nursed into recovery.”

Watching the man she loved crumble into fear was heartbreaking. She remembered him as the fearless soldier who trudged on every obstacle, the optimistic Harry that never failed to make her smile even on a bad day, the man who laughed through his homesickness.

“I wanted to return immediately, but I wasn’t able to. I...,” he swallowed a lump in his throat, debating internally if he should say this now. But Cecilia was expectant, waiting for the next words he was about to utter. “I suffered a trauma, and I needed medication and therapy,” he heard a gasp beside him but he didn’t waver, determined to let out everything all at once.

“It lasted for years but the memories never left me even after almost a decade. I dreamed of everything almost every night. It haunted me to the point that I wished I also died that day-,”

“Don’t say that,” she cut off. What he was about to say was unacceptable. “You were saved that day for a reason...so don’t say that.”

Harry dragged a hand down his face. “You’re right,” he laughed, though it sounded empty.

“I tried communicating with you. I wrote letters but you never replied,” he tried to say it lightly but there was an underlying question in his words.

Cecilia sighed. “I ran away from home,” she confessed. Harry’s head snapped to her direction, surprised at the information. “Why?”

She didn’t answer right away. She remembered how she suffered for nine months carrying another life within her, without anyone beside her. She recalled how difficult it was to travel to a different province because she didn’t want to disappoint her parents. Tears ran down her eyes as moments when she felt like a goner crossed her mind; the various jobs she had to do to earn enough for her and Kokoy; and the hurdles she overcame just to come where they are now -- living a stable life. She remembered how hard it was for her to accept that Harry was gone, and she was alone with no one to lean on to.

For the past eight years, she had accepted that he was gone and she will live a solitary life and had to raise Kokoy all by herself. She had resigned to her fate that her son will only know of his father through her stories, most of which were even fabricated.

And now, suddenly, when she least expected it, Harry stumbled into her life again.

“Cecilia?” he disrupted her thoughts when minutes passed and she didn’t give any response. “I came back in hopes that I will find you. I’m here because I want to be with you again. Will you still accept me?” He sported that same expectant look. It was eight years ago since she last saw those same, wishful pair of eyes, years since she had thought that she will never see them again.

Sincerity filled his eyes and Cecilia couldn’t answer. She knew what she wanted but she was afraid of what may happen again in the future. What if a war broke out again? What if he leaves her again, permanently this time? Cecilia was certain she could not stand another heartbreak.

“Come with me,” she requested and led him back home.

The door was slightly ajar and she ran in anxiety only to find her son sitting cross-legged in front, rubbing the sleep in his eyes with his tiny fists.

There was a sharp intake of breath behind her but she chose to embrace his son, who asked her where she went to and why were her eyes red.

“I just went for a walk. It was windy and something just got into my eyes,” she reasoned, beaming down at her son who accepted it without second thoughts.

Harry took steps closer until he rested a hand on her shoulder, effectively reminding her of his presence.

“Is he?” the question was left hanging but Cecilia nodded. There was no way she can deny it. Kokoy was the split image of his father - from his ash brown hair, the pale skin, the brown eyes, and the similar grin. Everything was a clear cut replica of the soldier.

This time, Harry did not hesitate to let his tears fall as he knelt down and pulled Kokoy in his arms. The child was confused but did not make any move to get away when a man thrice his size just swooped him.

Cecilia cried at the scene, not once having imagined that the father and son would ever meet. Her sniffles turned into loud sobs until her shoulders were shaking and droplets of tears flowed unceremoniously down her face.

Noticing her, Harry carried Kokoy in his arms and wrapped the mother and son in his embrace. Kokoy didn’t understand but he lifted his hands into the elders faces, brushing away the tears on their faces. Harry grinned at his son who didn’t hesitate to return the gesture.

Deeming the opportunity perfect, he called her attention and said female looked at him, her orbs glossy, and cheeks decorated with tear tracks but nonetheless as breathtaking as the first time he saw her during that rainy day.

“Will you give me the honor of being your husband?”

She burst in a fresh bout of tears and nodded frantically, burying her face on his chest. She felt protected and the warmth that enveloped her reminded her of that sense of security she had missed and longed for so dearly.

It was the right time long-delayed, but no less gratifying.