Long Division (26 page)

I frowned and shook my head in confusion, but he wouldn’t really catch it. ‘What do you want?’

His eyes had grown dark and wide with pain. ‘You could share the bed with me.’

My stomach did an odd, confused flop. I nodded and stood, holding my hand to him. ‘Well, come on, then. Let me help you.’

I groaned and awoke sooner than I would have liked, resting on my side. It was the only way we could both fit on my small bed. I was pressed against James, perfectly moulded. Our difference in sizes was much more evident now that we were lying side-by-side. His legs were yards longer than mine, yet the rest of us seemed to fit quite well. Across my chest, he’d wrapped his arm. I’d never been on the receiving end of such an arrangement, and I decided, settling back against him, I rather liked it.

My arse pressed against the morning stiffness of his groin was also a new feeling, one I didn’t really want to address how I felt about at the moment. It was both pleasant and uncomfortable. But, considering how James had spoken yesterday, I didn’t think he’d want to explore that any further. That was fine, I told myself. That was absolutely fine.

Resting in his arms, I wondered if James noticed—if it would ever cross his mind how perfectly we fit together. How very…natural it was. As I felt him stirring, pulling me nearer, I somewhat doubted that.

I hadn’t slept much, his breathing was irregular, pained, and I’d found it difficult to relax. I didn’t want him to wake so early. I didn’t know
what
to do with him. How to take care of him, and I knew I would be the one doing that. I’d be the one distributing his pills, helping him with what he needed, keeping an eye on him. He wouldn’t do it, otherwise.

One of his feet wound round my leg. He pressed closer. I could feel his breath on my neck.

‘Morning,’ I mumbled.

He let out a displeased moan and I felt more of the wet air at the base of my neck. He buried his face between my shoulder blades. ‘Have to go home today,’ he grumbled.

That statement surprised me. I wiggled around in his arms till I faced him. Our foreheads touched. For a moment he seemed uncomfortable with our proximity. His eyes shifted this way and that, unable to meet mine, before at last closing.

‘Why?’

He breathed in deeply and winced. ‘Family business.’ Those lips pulled up into a thin, grim smile. ‘And the bed is bigger.’

I returned his smile, but he couldn’t see. ‘Family business? Are you going to tell your relatives what’s…happened?’ I prayed that wasn’t too prying.

His eyebrows rose. ‘Tell them I’m dying?’ He let out a tired growl. ‘No, no we will not be talking about that.’

I frowned at him, leaning back to have a better look at him. ‘James, it’s your family. They have to know.’

He didn’t like that. I watched his expression close off. I sighed. There was nothing I could do to convince him otherwise. I took up one of his hands and laced my fingers through his, admiring his long fingers, the blue veins beneath the thin skin. ‘What, then?’

His chest rose and fell. ‘My mother. She’s ill. There are complications.’

I hadn’t expected the admission from him. ‘Complications?’

His eyes peeled open. ‘For you see, my mother’s treatment is the same as my own.’

‘Tell me.’

He tapped the side of his head with his free hand. ‘Didn’t you know? InVizion’s Godlink technology does wonders for those with head problems.’

I ran the hand not clasping his through my hair shakily. ‘So your mother…has head problems?’ I knew she was in hospital—or something similar—but I hadn’t caught the details.

James let out a deep breath. ‘You don’t have an implant, do you?’

I shook my head slowly, confused by the turn of conversation. That wasn’t unusual for him, though. ‘No…it was after my time. You know that. That’s why InVizion doesn’t affect me as badly.’

‘You are one of the lucky few.’

I wondered why he’d never had his removed.

‘I kept mine,’ he mumbled, seeming to read my mind. ‘I argued they were good for the public. That they would benefit all. It’s part of the reason InVizion found me so…special.’

I wanted to chase that line of conversation further, but he continued to talk, again confusingly switching subjects, leaving me struggling to keep up.

He stared into space. ‘My mother…she has dementia. She’s been ill for quite some time. Nothing would help her, obviously. Nothing could.’ He drummed his fingers on the pillow. ‘And then I became involved with InVizion. And the opportunities it presented were…endless.’

I cleared my throat. ‘To find a way to help your mother?’

To my surprise, James’s nose wrinkled. ‘I’m afraid not. By the time we made any advancements with it, it was much too late to save her.’ He raised wide eyes to me; desperate, frightened eyes. ‘But, you see…my mother’s condition…it is known to be hereditary.’

Ah, of course. Now it made sense. He had been working on Godlink as a way to save himself. I wasn’t even sure I could blame him. If I was as clever—and I nowhere near was—wouldn’t I do just the same? Having James’s beautiful mind deteriorate in such a way, and unable to do anything  about it, hell, I couldn’t have just sat by.

And yet I was doing just that. Because that damn tumour was growing in his head and I was completely helpless against it

‘So that was your motivation. It was simply a way to save yourself, your mind, from that fate?’

James looked at the far wall. ‘It was such a simple idea, at first,’ he mumbled. ‘A way to store your memories, a way to save your brain so that…even if it did begin to deteriorate, you would still have all of your mind stowed away, you would never lose it.’ His fingers traced along my temple as he spoke and the touch sent a visceral shiver down my spine.

‘Of course, by the time we could create such a thing, my mother’s memory was gone. But mine still remained.

‘And it worked. It actually worked. And we began making breakthroughs, astonishing breakthroughs with the technology; things I did not think possible. And I was working with such amazing people, Dr Fox, Dr Baker…And I was the youngest of them all—just sixteen when I started. They thought me a prodigy. We were harnessing the mind in ways that people only ten years ago could only dream of.

‘And then…and then InVizion showed its true colours. They were greedy. They kept demanding more. They wanted to know if people could control the power Godlink offered, could Godlink control people? Could they reverse it? That started the real trials. By then, it was too late to get out. Too late to do anything but go along with it.’

He raked a hand through his tangled hair. ‘And, I have to admit: it was fascinating. Regardless of what their ends were.’

My head spun. I wasn’t sure why he was explaining this to me. Why we’d never talked about it till now. Everything just made a bit more awful sense now. All except one thing.

‘But, hang on,’ I said hesitantly. ‘InVizion
helped
your mother.’

His head shook slightly. ‘No…No.  It’s all lies, Mark. All deception. Do you really think InVizion has made it their goal to create this new technology for gamers and invalids?’

I winced at his words. ‘James—’

‘Who are the ones who use InVizion, Mark? The bored, the techies, the sick, the dying, the normal, too.’

I shrugged. ‘So what?’

James’s eyes took on a peculiar glint. ‘So? How does it not yet make sense to you, Mark? Those regressions I spoke to you of. Do you remember? You were upset because you believe Godlink would reverse; damage people. But I’m afraid I was not entirely plain with you. The regressions are not a side effect, not…indiscriminate. It has a very…special purpose.’

‘Which is?’ I already knew.

‘Kill off the weak ones, the ones that really do need Godlink to live, and the rest…well, that’s easy. They’re already addicted. You know this.’

I groaned and rubbed my eyes. ‘And what about the outsiders? People like me? People like you?’

He let out a deep breath and rolled onto his back. ‘I don’t know. Because you are right, they would not be able to completely control those who were not directly affected by the device. Even the RAVs aren’t affecting
everyone.
’

I sat up. ‘But what would they do, then? How could they control people who aren’t connected to the device?’

‘I don’t know, Mark.’

Having James tell me that he did not know something was more than a little disconcerting. And I wasn’t sure if I should even worry about it anymore. His illness put everything in a new perspective for me.

Fighting InVizion would become a chapter in my life that had to end now. James would only grow weaker; day by day he would slip away from me. There was no more time to save the world. No more time for distractions of that sort. Yet, it didn’t matter.

I supposed that had hit me at some point. I’d never really believed I could save the world; not really. I wasn’t clever enough for that. It had just been about James. Being with him, soaking up the wild strangeness of his world. He’d brought me to life in a way, opening a door to an existence that consisted of adventure and thinking and having a purpose. All of which I’d craved and lusted after since the accident. But now that James was ill, I found myself not missing it. I felt no regret at the prospect of never decoding another InVizion document again. And that was odd. Because I thought that’s what it had been about.

Now, as I looked over at James on our drive to his flat, which we’d not been to in so long, I realised that had not been it. Not at all. It had not been what James had shown me that had made him so important to my life. It was James himself. And now as I faced a future of me caring for him, in whatever time he had left, I was surprisingly okay with that. Because I’d still have him. And I was the one he wanted.

An angry, red-headed woman was standing on the front steps of his block of flats; arms crossed tightly across her chest. By her look; tall, thin—and of course, the hair—I assumed she was James’s sister.

As she saw he and I step from the cab, her eyebrows rose several degrees. I internally winced. Her expression already informed me she’d come to her own conclusions. Didn’t help, as I felt her watching, me assist James from the cab. He had to lean on me as he stood. His balance had dramatically decreased overnight. It didn’t seem possible. Or fair.

James recovered from his spell and straightened; my cue to release him. He did not have time to recover before the woman marched over to him.

‘Where the hell have you been? Spending the night with your boyfriend? Since when did you take it that way?’

James opened his mouth to speak but she continued on. ‘I honestly do not give a damn. That’s not why I’m here—’

James’s chest rose and fell. ‘I know why you’re here,’ he spoke wearily.

She blinked. ‘Then you should know that I’ve filed to say that you are no longer mentally capable to be in charge of our mother’s healthcare. You never showed any interest at all in her treatment until InVizion brought in their fancy Godlink device and then you were all attentive. Now you think you can stir up trouble, cause a big scene, make everyone afraid of this technology once you
know
it’s working for Mum? How could you? Well, I won’t let you do this to her any longer. You’ve been trouble too long, James, and you’re not going to do this to her again.’

‘Jenna, please, listen to me—’

She shook her head sharply, red hair flipping. ‘No. I’m done with that. I’ve heard what you’ve had to say. Heard it again and again and I’ve had to live with the embarrassment of your little messages to the world. I’m here for one reason and one reason only. I want you to sign this and then leave us the hell alone.’

I wasn’t sure what reaction I expected from James. Perhaps hurt. Or anger. I was definitely feeling the anger. I wanted to turn on her with the same venom she’d used on James. He didn’t deserve it. Not now.

She must have noticed me, bristling like a dog. ‘And you? Has he brainwashed you with all this nonsense?’

I cleared my throat. ‘Enlightened me might be a better term.’

I watched as James dolefully began to sign his name on the statement. I wished I could have stopped him, but what good would it do?

Jenna left us in a cloud of rage almost the moment his pen had lifted. As I helped James to the lift to take us up to his flat, I couldn’t help but question his decision.

‘James, if you’ve signed your mother over, then she’ll just get back on the Godlink technology and—’

He looked at me, expression irritated. ‘I know, Mark,’ he growled. ‘But, it’s too late for her. I cannot stop that. If it makes her temporarily better…perhaps that’s not such a bad thing.’

I opened my mouth to argue that reversing and making the person much, much worse was anything but good, but James had to have thought of that. I could say nothing.

I wondered if that was how he now thought of himself.

I did not have the clinical eye James possessed and so I could not tell if his place had been disturbed since our last visit or not. James’s nose bunched as he stepped inside.

I waited for him to move. At last he did, stepping gingerly into the room and drifted out of sight, leaving me alone. God, things were still a mess. Never gotten around to cleaning.