mally sanctioned, committed, and exclusive sex is the only sex that they will condone for their children, the term "promiscuous" often reduces to a moral condemnation of sex outside of marriage.
|
Promiscuity's absence of marital commitment can also help us understand the objection of the polygamous Mormon man mentioned at the beginning of this section. In marriages where sex is both possible and desirable, marriage typically serves as a socially sanctioned restriction on one's choice of sexual partner.
20
In Judeo-Christian communities in which marriage is defined by monogamy, sexual exclusivity means sex
with this (one) partner and no others
. In those communities where marriage to more than one person at a time is both an accepted and common practice, sexual choice for one marital partner is restricted by marriage to some
multiple
of spouses. Thus, sexual exclusivity still has meaning for the polygamous spouse, even though, like his promiscuous counterpart, he engages in the pursuit of different sexual partners. Sexual exclusivity in a polygamous community simply means sex
with these (several) people and no others
. His pursuit of new and different sexual partners is restricted, not repeated. Thus, promiscuous sex for the Mormon man is objectionable because it is simple fornication, sex outside of marriage, sex
without commitment
. (Many feminists would also contend that within a patriarchal tradition that defines marriage as man's acquisition of a wife, polygamous spouses will always be men.) When a devout Muslim woman, raped by Serbian soldiers, is derisively called a "whore" by her husband, it is because she has engaged in what he perceives as promiscuous (extramarital) sex that defiles her in his eyes. The irony is that rape victims and prostitutes are often mistakenly regarded as "asking for" the abuse they receive. Many feminists contend that such explanations serve the interests of patriarchy by blaming women, not men, for men's sexual violation of women.
21
|
One affair, a single one-night stand, or the victimization of rape, however, is not promiscuity for those who associate the term with the voluntary and repetitious pursuit of different sexual partners. The previous description of George's adultery shows that some speakers will describe George's adultery as promiscuous while others will not. Furthermore, if George does decide to "play the field" with a series of different lovers, his promiscuous peccadillos do not
erase
his original marital commitment to his wife. He has simply failed to live up to that commitment. Therefore, it is not only the
absence
of commitment, as in premarital sex, that marks the presence of promiscuity, but also the failure to live up to commitments already made. It is the latter sense of promiscuity that characterizes adultery.
|
In addition, it is far from clear that unmarried promiscuous sex partners cannot or do not issue their lovers "promissory notes for affection and support throughout an indefinite future," as Elliston maintains. Suppose Joan has sex with several men on a regular basis. Joan enjoys the company of men and finds sex the perfect vehicle for establishing intimacy with them. We can suppose that Joan travels frequently and has different lovers in different cities. Some of Joan's lovers are men whom she has known for months; others are fairly new acquaintances. Thus, we can imagine that her lovers may also have their own interests and interconnecting but not identical circle of lovers and acquaintances, so that none of Joan's lovers feels unattended or unloved by Joan. In this scenario, Joan is promiscuous insofar as she is actively and voluntarily engaged in the repetitious pursuit of different sexual partners. Does this
|
|
