Losing Eva (The Eva Series Book 2) (19 page)

“What’s wrong?” he said pausing mid-sentence from what he had been saying.

“Why? Nothing is wrong. The um, wine is making me hot.” Brynn knew that he didn’t believe her and she tried focusing her thoughts on listening to him instead of allowing her mind to wander.

“Okay,” he said smiling a different kind of smile than the one she had seen all night. This smile was sexier, more playful, and Brynn thought about how much she liked seeing that smile.

“So, you’re divorced then?” Brynn asked trying to participate in the conversation. “Me, too. Just about a year, but he had left me before, and we were never the same after that. Then our baby died and...” Brynn paused. She was never good at talking about it, but for some reason she felt like she could talk to Nick. She could tell that he was really listening to her.

“I’m sorry,” Nick said, his eyes looking at her with genuine sadness in them. “That had to have been difficult.”

“You have no idea,” Brynn said thinking back to the last two years and how everything had fallen apart with Sophie’s death.

“I do,” Nick said, his voice changing, suddenly very serious. “I lost my son, Teddy. He was three and a half, and he drowned in our pool. My wife… my ex-wife, was supposed to be watching him, but she fell asleep in the sun for just a few moments. And he was gone. She could never forgive herself for what happened, even though I forgave her. We tried therapy, church, retreats, everything that we could think of, but she just couldn’t forgive herself for letting Teddy drown. I loved her, but… I couldn’t watch her destroy herself any longer, and there was nothing I could do for her.”

Brynn was silent, her eyes full of tears that refused to fall.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’m a horrible date, aren’t I?” Nick said his eyes wide as he looked at Brynn, half-expecting her to stand up and walk out.

“No, no,” Brynn said quietly. “You’re a lovely date. I’m glad you shared with me. I don’t know why I feel that I can talk to you, but I just do. I haven’t been able to talk to anyone like this in a long time.”

“Me, neither,” Nick said leaning forward and squeezing her hand.

Brynn felt her hand tingle from the warmth of his touch and was disappointed when he pulled his hand away.

Brynn told him about Sophie and how they lost her and how Adam left her shortly after. “He was unable to forgive me like you forgave your wife. He felt as if I had cursed her somehow, and we were never the same after. He was the only man that I had ever loved.”

Brynn barely noticed when the waitress dropped off the second bottle of wine, or when they called last call. Time seemed to stand still as they talked well into the night about every subject they could think of, hungry for the sound of one another’s voice.

The winery was closing, and Nick stood up slowly and grabbed Brynn’s hand, pulling her up and then refusing to let go. Brynn no longer felt awkward when he touched her. She felt herself leaning in toward him so that he could touch her, and he was happy to oblige.

“Well,” he said smiling down at her.

Brynn liked how he made her feel protected, safe. “Well,” she said smiling back as they walked toward his car.

“What do we do now?” He said stopping next to his rental car as he pushed her gently against it.

“What do you want to do?” Brynn teased lightly. The wine made her feel a little bit more comfortable, and she found that teasing came easier as well.

“I will tell you what I don’t want to do. I don’t want to say ‘good night,’” Nick said, his eyes serious as they looked right into hers. “I’m not ready to let you go yet.”

Brynn sighed. “I’m not ready to let you go yet, either,” she said easily. Words had never been easy for her, but with him, she felt them flowing in a way that she had never experienced before.

“I have meetings tomorrow to wrap up and then I can be here for the rest of the week.” Nick said looking hopeful, but vulnerable.

“I would love to spend as much time with you as I can,” Brynn said feeling her heart opening up to him.

“Good, me too,” he smiled pulling her close. He put his face close to hers and closed his eyes. Brynn couldn’t explain it, but something hung heavy between them in the air, and she knew that they both felt it.

Brynn buried her head in his chest and held him tight. She could feel his heart beating in his chest, and she loved how his strong arms felt wrapped around her. The night was slowing down just for her, and she wanted to pour herself into it as much as she could.

“Do you want to come home with me?” Brynn said, her voice small, sounding unlike her own.

“I do,” Brynn heard Nick’s voice above her head. “But not for the reasons you may think.”

Brynn pulled away. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I just want to spend time with you. I’ve shut myself off from everything since Teddy’s death, and I don’t want to do that with you. I don’t want you to feel like I’m trying to take advantage of you.”

Brynn feigned disappointment. “Well, I was hoping that was all you were trying to do is take advantage of me.”

Nick’s eyes opened wide in shock as he took a step back from her.

“I’m kidding!” she said, pulling him back in close. “I just want to spend time with you, too.”

Nick was happy and excited for the first time in a long time. Brynn made him laugh, and he hadn’t laughed in a long time. But she was wounded, and he knew that he had to be careful with her.
Don’t do what you usually do with women. Don’t be an asshole. She’s different. She’s not a bat-shit crazy drunk like you’re used to, so don’t take your issues out on her like you usually do.
“Okay, good.”

Brynn wanted him to kiss her, but the moment had passed. She couldn’t remember ever wanting to kiss anyone as much as she wanted to kiss Nick. She thought about the house, and how it was a mess and that there was only one bed, and for once, she didn’t care.

She just wanted be in his arms, listening to the sound of his voice, telling her that for once everything was going to be alright.

“SO YOU DON’T EVEN
talk to her anymore?” Adam’s mom shrieked, her voice carrying in the quiet restaurant. With a great deal of effort, she lowered her voice while staring at Adam in disbelief. “How do you just walk out on someone you’ve loved all of your life?”

Hannah Michael realized with dismay that she didn’t even recognize her son anymore.

“Hannah, calm down. Let the boy talk,” Daniel knew that his wife was beyond upset. Adam was her pride and joy, all of her life wrapped up in his happiness. When they went on their two-year-long mission trip, everything had been going well. Their first grandchild was about to be born, Adam and Brynn had reconciled. But when they returned, everything was destroyed.

Hannah was heartbroken. “I don’t understand how you just stopped trying, even after you went home. Don’t you love Brynn anymore? She was like a daughter to us. Didn’t you think about that?”

Adam couldn’t believe his ears. “No, I didn’t think about you! I was thinking about me! I was thinking about how I couldn’t look at her face anymore without thinking about how she never wanted Sophie to begin with. I was thinking about how I had to convince her to have a family and a life with me. I was thinking about how selfish she’s always been and how much I hated her for letting our baby die. And I was thinking about how I couldn’t stand to look at her for the rest of my life!” He grabbed his full glass of bourbon and drank it down in one swallow.

“Who are you?” Hannah said, her blue eyes filling with tears. Adam was the spitting image of her, but his blue eyes had grown dark and empty and it frightened her. For a moment, she flashed back to when he was a boy, and she wanted to reach out and touch his hair, but she knew that he would never allow it. He was only a poor reflection of the man she once knew.

Daniel cleared his throat and pushed his glasses up on his nose. “We wanted to see Brynn. Do you think she would see us?” Daniel asked Adam calmly. “She is still our family, even if you aren’t together anymore.”

“I don’t know, Dad. I just said that I don’t talk to her anymore, so why don’t you call her? I’m not her husband, so do whatever the hell you want.” Adam’s tone was angry. He knew that lashing out at his parents was wrong, but he couldn’t stop himself. He knew that they would take Brynn’s side.

Hannah looked around the restaurant and knew that everyone could hear them. She no longer had an appetite and stood up angrily. “I’m leaving, Daniel. I didn’t come here to have my son talk to me this way.”

Adam looked up at his mother. He had loved her all of his life, but even for her, he felt nothing right now. “You guys can just go. I’m staying.”

Daniel held Hannah’s arm. “Sweetheart, sit down. We can talk through this with him. We both know that he doesn’t want to push us away like this.”

“I do, actually. While you were gone on your ‘mission trip’, I could have used your help here. I didn’t know what to do. So now, I’ve lost my baby, my wife, my house, and everything else. And you’re just now showing up to help me. So, yeah you can go. I don’t need you right now.” Adam gestured for the server to bring him another drink.

“The drinking isn’t going to help, Adam,” Daniel said sadly. “It will make it worse.”

“It can’t get worse, Dad,” Adam said leaning back in his chair.

Hannah looked at her son, trying to understand what she was seeing. He had lost at least twenty pounds, and his beautiful blue eyes were streaked with red. He didn’t look like he had slept in ages, and his clothes were wrinkled. But what disturbed her most was that he was an empty vessel—this man who had once been so beautiful and giving.

The food arrived and they sat in silence, Hannah and Daniel picking at their food while Adam simply drank.

Hannah spoke up, breaking the awkward silence. “Why didn’t you call for us, honey? We would have come home. We didn’t know you needed us so badly.”

Adam shrugged. “What would you have done, Mom? There was nothing that you could do.”

Hannah sighed, trying to hold in her tears.
What will become of my sweet boy now?
She knew that Adam loved Brynn, he always had. She never imagined him with anyone else, even when he separated from her the last time. But this was divorce. This was permanent.

Daniel leaned over. “It’ll be okay sweetheart. He’s a man, and he will figure it out.”

Hannah smiled and kissed him on the cheek. She loved how Daniel always knew what she was thinking. Not a day went by that she didn’t thank God for him and his love. She had hoped that Adam would find the same love with Brynn.

“Yes, Parents. I will figure it out.” Adam was sufficiently drunk, and Hannah eyed her son distastefully. She wasn’t opposed to a glass of wine on occasion, but this was unacceptable.

They asked for the check, and Daniel decided it was best to drive Adam home.

“Home… oh you mean my crappy little apartment, sssssuuuuure, you can drive me there,” Adam slurred.

Hannah was happy when he passed out in the back seat.

“He’s disgusting and a mess. And he smells,” She whispered to Daniel, wrinkling her nose. “What is he thinking?”

“He’s thinking that he’s in pain, honey. Don’t be so hard on him. It’s just a phase he has to go through. You went through that once, don’t you remember?” Daniel loved Hannah, but her memory could sometimes run short.

Hannah was silent for a while, listening to Adam snore in the back seat. She looked back at her son and smiled thoughtfully. “You’re right, Daniel. As always, you are right.”

Daniel knew just how to soften her up, which is why she had chosen him over the man she had been engaged to when they met. She had been a mess for a while, but he had gotten her through. He needed her to remember that, for Adam’s sake.

They pulled up in front of the apartment and plotted how they were going to get him in.

“Oh my God, this was so much easier when he was five,” Hannah grunted as they hoisted his arms around their shoulders and tried to maneuver him in.

“Y-y-ep,” Daniel groaned. “At least he’s on the first floor.”

They half-dragged, half-carried him to Apartment 110.

“Keys, do you know where his keys are?” Hannah asked, feeling the sweat prickling on her forehead.

“Probably in his pocket,” Daniel said reaching into his son’s pocket to try to find keys.

Just then, the apartment door opened, startling both of them.

“Can I help… Oh, Adam!” the pretty redhead exclaimed, and looked surprised. “Um, you must be Adam’s parents.”

Hannah looked at the girl in shock. She can’t be more than twenty-two years old, and where are her clothes?

Jessie looked down at herself and realized that she was only wearing one of Adam’s t-shirts and no shorts. “Oh my God,” I’m so sorry. I thought… I mean I didn’t realize… I just…” Jessie flew out of the room leaving the door to the apartment wide open.

Daniel looked at Hannah and shrugged. “Okay, well let’s get this boy in.”

Adam was dead weight, and when they got to the couch, they let him go and he fell in face first.

“Should we go, or should we stay?” Daniel whispered.

“Oh, we are definitely staying,” Hannah said smoothing her hair. “We need to get to the bottom of this.”

“Bottom of what?” Daniel asked, annoyed. “Hannah, he’s a grown man. We don’t know everything that has happened. This girl could be…”

“Twenty-one? She’s a baby and…”

“Actually, I’m twenty-two.”

Daniel and Hannah turned around and realized that the girl had come back into the room, this time fully clothed in yoga pants and a bra under her shirt.

“Well, you look like a baby,” Hannah said unapologetically.

Daniel cleared his throat. “Um, so we’re Adam’s parents, Daniel and Hannah.”

“I’m Jessie,” Jessie said feeling her cheeks burning. “I’m Adam’s… uh, friend.”

“Well Adam never mentioned you. Do you know about Brynn?” Hannah was staring Jessie down. Daniel was horrified. He had never seen this side of his sweet wife before.

Jessie seemed to shrink down a little bit. “I did… I mean I do know about Brynn. Not a lot. Just that they were high school sweethearts and now they are divorced.”