Losing It: A Collection of VCards (10 page)

He stares down at me, looking pretty damned uncomfortable in his jeans. I feel like a sweaty, panting, liquid bundle of nerves, so I can’t even imagine what I must look like to him. But he’s so beautiful, and his eyes are so full of desire.

“Do you have anything? Because I’ll fly out to get us something if you need me to, but I’m so out of my head right now that I might crash.”

I sit up, laughing a little because he can still be so silly at a time like this. Maybe it’s inappropriate, but I take a second to thank the gods for making my big brother be real and insist that I have protection in case I ever need it.

“You don’t have to fly anywhere,” I say, blushing again. “I have something.”

I get out of bed and dig around in my dresser drawer for the small square box.
When I turn around again, Micah’s in my bed, propped up on one elbow and watching me. He’s half under the covers, his pants and boxer briefs on the floor, and I swear my heart flutters in my chest for real this time. I walk back over, conscious of the heat of his gaze, and get under the covers next to him. I place my hand over his heart and feel it steady and strong, tracing my fingertips over the hardness of his chest and pausing at a few new scars that I’ve never seen before. He explores me too, his hands moving down the curves of my body, my skin tingling at his touch. His eyes close when my hands move lower, as I follow an invisible line down and flatten my palm across the hard triangular muscle beneath his navel. His hand tightens on my hips, a low groan escaping from the back of his throat as I reach even lower and wrap my fingers around him.

He pulls me closer and says, very seriously. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

His hand slips between my thighs, and I drop my head back on the pillow, an exquisite burn starting to build as he strokes me. I manage to say, “Micah, are you trying to convince me of your morality?”

“Maybe.” He leans close and kisses me slowly, sucking on my bottom lip, stealing all of my willpower and my need to breathe.

“Don’t stress about it,” I whisper when he breaks away. “You’re not going to go to hell for making love to me.”

A touch of wicked reaches his smile. “Let’s just not ever die, and we never have to worry about it.”

“It’s a deal,” I sigh.

If only. If only this could really be eternal.

Micah slides his arm around me, shifting me so I’m lying on my back, and I press a condom into his hand. When he lies on top of me again,
he looks at me with eyes of the deepest blue that I’ve ever seen, and we stay just like that for a while, his skin touching my skin, hard against soft, our breaths mingling into one. My body feels electrified, every fiber in my soul wanting him. He’s as gentle as he can possibly be when he finally enters me, and while it’s true that it technically isn’t my first time, it does hurt a little. But it’s only the initial shock and nerves, and as he starts moving, the feeling becomes purely sublime.

“Am I hurting you?”

I look up at him, and he
’s searching my face. I can tell that he’s holding himself back, and I reach up and take his face in my hands.

“No. And you won’t.” He moves a tiny bit more, and I whimper. “I want you, all of you.”

He buries his face in my hair and moves forward, and he
’s completely mine. Physically, oh my God yes, but so much more. Like we’re truly one in this moment as we move in synch to his heartbeat. I’m his, and he’s mine, and I think we both knew a long time ago that we were in this together.

My emotions are raw, my desires completely stripped down. There’s a brief moment when I think that I see a burst of color, a flash of gold that ignites before my eyes, but my own feelings are so intense that I can’t be sure what it is. I don’t see anything from him that remotely resembles darkness, but I feel everything that I’ve ever felt for him build in me until all of the energy in my body explodes outwards and spirals me off the edge of bliss. He tightens his arms around me, tensing as he releases a low devastating growl. I cling to him as he reaches his own ecstasy, feeling so vulnerable but so safe at the same time.

I doze off in Micah’s arms afterward, waking only when I feel his warmth moving away from my side. My eyes open a crack, and I snuggle under the covers, watching him get dressed. He leans over me and kisses me one more time, and I kiss him back as my hand moves lazily through his hair. I know he has to leave me now, but I also know I have a permanent place in his group and in his soul, and I feel no sorrow this time.

I fall asleep almost immediately after he leaves, my head filled with the scent and thoughts of him. Marveling over the fact that we don’t have to hide who we are anymore.

That we don’t have to be afraid.

For the first time in my entire existence, I feel it.

Eternally free.

***

About the Author

Helen Boswell credits her dad, an avid fiction reader, with encouraging her to read
all of the books
on his shelves from the time she was a teenager. Originally from upstate New York, Helen spent much of her early adult life tromping around in Buffalo, NYC, Toronto, and Las Vegas, those cities now serving as inspiration for the dark and gritty backdrops of her stories. She writes young adult fantasy and new adult romance and currently lives in the southwest U.S. with her husband and two young sons.

Novels list:

Mythology

Mythology: The Wicked

Mythology: The Eternal (releasing spring 2015)

Losing Enough

Available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble

Social media sites:

Website:
www.helenboswell.com

Twitter:
https://twitter.com/HelenBozz

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https://www.tsu.co/helenbozz

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https://www.facebook.com/HelenBozz

Tumblr:
http://helenbozz.tumblr.com

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http://instagram.com/helenbozz

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Jess & Giovanni

by

Bethany Lopez

In
TTYL
, Jess tells Melissa that she lost her virginity to Giovanni the night of her sixteenth birthday. Now we get to see Jess and Giovanni’s magical night, from her point of view.

***

“Here you go, Jess,” my cousin Cindy said as she put the key card in my hand. “Happy birthday, and if you tell your mom I did this, I’ll deny it.” She winked at me and walked out of the hotel.

My stomach clenched with sudden nerves and I turned slowly to my right, conscious of Giovanni’s warm hand in mine. I looked up into his velvety brown eyes, and took in the soft smile on his lips, and my stomach loosened, replaced with an altogether different sensation.

“Ready, Anima Mia?” Giovanni asked, his hand gently squeezing mine, before adding, “You know you can change your mind. Anytime.”

I grinned up at my handsome boyfriend, the delicious chills I got whenever he called me
his soul
in Italian running over me, and responded, “I’m ready.”

We held hands as we walked through the lobby, my heels clicking and my party dress swaying against my legs.

It had been the perfect night. My sweet sixteen.

My father wasn’t always there for me; he did live in a different state after all. However, when I’d said I wanted a big party for my sixteenth, he’d accommodated my every wish, no matter how crazy it seemed.

The banquet room had been decked out in green and lavender tones that matched the dresses Melissa and I had worn. I even had the guys wear matching vests with their suits.

I had a local band play, and we’d come out in a procession and danced to the music. The night had been better than I’d hoped, a dream come true, and it was about to get even better.

At first, when I’d suggested getting a hotel room, Giovanni had been flustered and unsure if this was the right next step for us.

He was so sweet and considerate.

His year here with his aunt and uncle was almost up, and he was returning to Italy for his senior year of high school. Giovanni was worried that losing our virginity to each other, when we knew he was leaving, was him somehow taking advantage of me. I convinced him otherwise.

“We love each other, and will be giving each other the one thing that no one else can ever take,” I’d argued. If someone had ever told me that I’d have to argue with my boyfriend to get him to have sex with me, I’d have been devastated. But Giovanni was different. He was honorable. “It will be the most special moment that we can share, and we will remember it forever.”

“Sei un dono,” he’d replied, and the tender look on his face told me that I’d won that argument.

Now we were standing in an elevator, watching the numbers light up over the door as we climbed up toward the room that would be ours for the night. I’d been planning this for a few weeks, and had managed to keep it a secret from everyone except Giovanni and Cindy. I hadn’t even told Melissa. She’d been acting really weird and distant lately. I knew that I’d been spending a lot of time with Giovanni, so I couldn’t really get mad, but still. Something weird was going on with her.

Ding. The elevator signaled our arrival to our floor, and brought me out of my head and back to the reality of what was happening.

We exited the elevator and followed the signs to our room. Once we found it, Giovanni took the key card and opened the door, then stepped back to allow me to enter.

I took in the large bed with four fluffy pillows resting against the headboard, a desk, and a small table and chair. I turned toward the dresser, which held the TV, and gasped when I saw a vase holding sixteen red roses.

Yes, I took a moment to count them.

My breath held and my eyes filled, as I turned and took in the handsome boy who was standing by the entrance to the room, his hands clasped in front of him. His hair so dark it was almost pitch black dropping just above his eyebrows, and his velvety brown eyes staring intently at me, my heart fluttered even as it overflowed with love.

“How’d you do this?” I asked, my voice filled with wonder at his thoughtfulness.

“Cindy,” he said simply, as he started to walk closer.

“They’re beautiful.”

I leaned down to inhale their sweet scent, before turning and throwing myself into his arms and hugging him tightly.

I enjoyed the smell of his spicy cologne, the feel of his suit jacket beneath my cheek, and the warmth of his embrace as he held me close.

“I love you.” My voice was heavy with emotion, but I tried to choke back the tears that were threatening, I wanted this night to be about joy, not sorrow.

I pulled back and rose on my tiptoes, offering my mouth to him, and sighing when he dipped his head to take it.

Kissing Giovanni was always a dream. He had soft, silky lips, and managed to make my body heat with just a touch, but tonight, he didn’t hold back. His tongue swept through my eager mouth, and we held on as the kiss turned from sweet to needy.

I enjoyed the sensation of his lips as they moved from my mouth, across my cheek, and along my jawline. I tilted my head back to give him better access. My hands clenched his biceps when my knees weakened and threatened to give. A small moan escaped me when he nuzzled the spot right under my ear and said, “Voglio fare l'amore con te.”

I was going to have to remember everything he’d said and look it up on my Italian to English translation app later.

I didn’t have to understand his words, to feel the effect of that accent spoken huskily into my ear. I felt warm and tingly all over, and I was eager to be on a more level playing field.

It took every ounce of control I had to step back out of Giovanni’s arms. His eyes looked dark and heavy as they searched my face.

I’d talked to Cindy about what I should and shouldn’t do, and she’d given me some advice. I just hoped I had the confidence to pull off what she suggested.

I took a deep breath and gave him a shaky smile, then put my hands behind me and found the zipper on my dress. I unzipped slowly, not just to draw out the moment like Cindy had said, but because my hands were unsteady. I readjusted my arms to get the zipper the rest of the way down, then brought my hands up to the thick straps of my dress, and began to move one down slowly, before starting on the other.

When the dress dropped to my waist, revealing my strapless lavender push-up bra underneath, my first instinct was to cover up, but I noticed Giovanni’s face had lowered, and his cheeks were flushed, as he took in my exposed flesh. My body heated in response, and it wasn’t from embarrassment.

I shimmied the dress the rest of the way down, keeping my eyes down as I kicked the dress away, and stood before him in my matching lavender underwear set, and heels.

I’d barely gathered the courage to look at him, when I was suddenly in his arms again, and his lips where there, kissing me breathless.

“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” he managed between kisses, as he turned us around and maneuvered me toward the bed.

I broke away to sit on the bed, then scoot back, so that I was against the lush pillows, and watched as Giovanni began to take off his suit.

First the jacket, then the vest. Then he began to open the shirt, exposing the tanned skin underneath, a small smattering of dark hair covering his chest.

Giovanni had filled out a lot over the last year, and had spent many hours in the gym with Brian after school, as he trained for football. This meant that I was gifted with the sight of defined muscles as Giovanni peeled the shirt away. Mesmerized, I didn’t move anything but my hands, and I brought them up to take down the hair that had been held together by a myriad of pins for my party.

Giovanni had taken off his shoes and socks, and kicked off his pants by the time I’d retrieved the last pin. I ran my hands through my hair, praying to God that I didn’t look like a crazed animal.

I figured I mustn’t look too bad when Giovanni, clad only in black boxer briefs, climbed onto the bed. He got on all fours and stalked toward me.

I say stalking, because the tautness of his muscles, heat on his face, and intent in his eyes, reminded me of a panther getting ready to attack.

I may have squealed. Out loud. As I scooted down on the bed, I covered myself with a pillow. When I moved the pillow to peek around it, Giovanni was grinning broadly at me.

The pillow was swept away and Giovanni was kneeling over me. His legs straddled mine and his beautifully tanned chest was right in front of me. I giggled as I remembered that I could do whatever I wanted, and not be embarrassed about it. I brought my palms up to his chest and closed my eyes as I explored, enjoying the feel of his skin against mine. When I heard a low groan, my eyes fluttered open to see that Giovanni’s eyes were closed as well, his lower lip tucked under his teeth. That was so hot. I continued my exploration, and let my hands run over his hard nipples, then down the bumpy plains of his stomach.

From there things escalated. We laid down on the bed, Giovanni on his side, so he was half covering me, but his weight was on the bed. He took my bra off, and kissed my breasts reverently, as I arched into him and explored the expanse of his back. When his hand moved lower, down my stomach, and over my panties, the warmth I’d been feeling turned up a couple hundred degrees. The tingling turned to yearning.

When his hand caressed me over my panties, my hips thrust up of their own free will, urging him closer to the source of my yearning. He moved the silk material to the side, and I suddenly felt the contact of his fingers against my bare flesh.

“Oh…” I sighed, sure that I’d never felt anything so amazing. I quickly realized I was wrong, when his finger entered me, and a fire began to lick across my skin.

“Giovanni,” I said on a breath, unsure how he knew to do what he was doing, but praying that he didn’t stop.

Giovanni shifted, and urged my underwear down with his other hand. I made a noise in protest when he had to move his other hand to get the material all the way down my legs, but was quickly appeased when his hand came back. Now, naked and unencumbered, I widened my legs to give him better access. I wanted him to finish what he was doing so badly that I was unable to feel an ounce of embarrassment.

He brought his mouth to my neck, worshiping me there, as he filled me with another finger and began pumping them in and out of my body in a delicious motion. One hand caressed his back and the other fisted in the sheet beneath me, as the fire began to build. I closed my eyes and turned my head, then he moved his hand up a little and began to massage. I bucked beneath him, my mouth open in a silent plea, as a wave of pleasure coursed over me. I kept my eyes closed as my body shuddered and seemed to turn to liquid heat, vaguely aware that the bed shifted. I opened my eyes to see Giovanni shed his boxer briefs and lay a condom on the bed beside me.

He moved over me, resting in between my legs. While holding himself up on his forearms, he slipped the condom on.

“Do you still want to do this, Anima mia?”

“Yes,” I responded with a smile, bringing my hands up to cup his face and stroke it softly.

He lowered his lips to mine, as he slowly eased himself inside of me. It was a foreign sensation, but not unpleasant. When Giovanni lifted his head, eyes closed, with a look of pure elation on his face, I knew it felt quite different for him.

I felt the resistance, and his eyes opened. He looked down at me tenderly as he pushed the rest of the way in. I felt a sort of pinch, then a burn, and he stilled to allow my body time to adjust to having him inside me.