Lost Soul (5 page)

“I’ll push you off,” Karen offered and sent the Reynolds ladies barreling down the hill with a shove.

Jessica’s mouth hung open in fear or delight, or maybe a little of both, as she flew down the snowy hill, the wind chafing her cheeks and snowflakes tickling her eyelashes.
 
“Again, Mommy!” she shrieked, jumping up as soon as they reached the bottom.

“Okay, help me pull the sled back up to the top!” Sarah replied and the two trudged back up to the top of the hill, which seemed a lot farther of a distance going up than it did going down.

Karen and Caleb were also sharing a sled, so the moms took turns pushing each other off till they could no longer handle the climb back up to the top.
 
“How about if you kids do the next one on your own?” Karen suggested, flopping herself down into the snow in exhaustion.

“Yeah, that’s sounds like a great idea,” Sara concurred, joining her friend on the ground.
 
Her legs were burning from multiple treks up the steep slope and she tried to rub away some of the ache.
 
“How on earth do you have the energy to keep up with so many kids?”

“In some ways, it gets a little easier when you have a few more.
 
They entertain each other,” Karen explained.
 
“Thank God mine are all healthy.”

Sarah nodded.
 
Sometimes she wondered how she managed to keep one child able-bodied and alive, let alone four.
 
She chuckled as she watched Caleb and Jessica try to figure out how to climb on the sled without it sliding down the hill.
 
Finally, one of Caleb’s brothers noticed their dilemma and offered to hold it while they climbed on.
 
When Caleb’s arms were wrapped tight around Jessica’s waist, Casey gave them a running shove and sent them hurdling down the hill at breakneck speed.
 
Michael went on high alert as they zoomed towards the crowd at the bottom, but they lost their balance halfway down and their little bodies tumbled off the side of the sled and into the soft snow instead.

“You okay, Jess-ca?” Caleb asked, patting his new friend gently on the head.
 
She lay like a capsized turtle, her arms and legs stuck up in the air, her bulky layers preventing her from uprighting herself.
 
He grabbed her hands and hiked her up into a sitting position, falling onto his butt in the process.
 
Michael smiled at the boy’s desire to protect Jessica.
 
She was so easy to love.

Karen and Jessica chatted while their toddlers tried to finagle their way back onto the sled.
 
They weren’t asking for help, so the moms left them to their own devices, keeping a watchful eye.
 
“When is your baby due?” Sarah asked, noticing the way Karen was rubbing her extended tummy.

“Twenty-seven days,” Karen answered, “and he better not stay in there a minute longer.
 
I gave away my spring maternity clothes after I had Caleb, who was supposed to be my last one.
 
What can I say? I’m just good at making babies!”

“Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?” Sarah asked.

“Another boy, of course!
 
His name’s going to be Colby.
 
I kind of wanted a girl this time, but heck, at least it saves me money on clothes.
 
Casey is the only kid who ever gets anything new.
 
Everybody else wears hand-me-downs,” Karen smirked.

“Even his guardian angel will be a hand-me-down,” a familiar voice chuckled behind Michael.

“Dominion Emit!” Michael exclaimed, turning to find his old trainer.
 
“What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to give you your new assignment, Michael.
 
The child you were intended for is on his way and the Master sent me to prepare you.”

“What are you talking about, Dominion?
 
I’m already guarding Jessica.
 
I can’t guard two children!”
 
It’s all I can do to keep this one out of trouble,
Michael thought but decided not to admit out loud.

“No, of course not.
 
It’s time for you to release Jessica to her rightful guardian, Falla, so you can guard your intended charge — Karen’s new son.”

“What?!
 
But Dominion, I thought I was doing a good job with Jessica,” Michael replied, fear darkening his face.

“You are, Son — quite impressive for someone who bypassed almost all of his training.
 
You could still benefit from a few pointers, but I see Theus has done his best to train you on the job.”

“Theus was supposed to be training me?
 
He barely even talks to me.
 
Usually he just lets me flounder around till I figure things out on my own,” Michael complained.

“Isn’t that what you wanted, Michael?
 
Last time we spoke you seemed convinced that you didn’t need any more training,” Emit retorted and Michael frowned when he couldn’t think of a good response.

“I’m happy here with Jessica,” Michael insisted.
 
“I don’t want to leave her, especially not if you’re going to give her back to Falla.
 
He already proved he cares more about his own wants than the needs of his charge!
 
How could you ever trust him to guard a human again?”

The Lord believes in second chances, Michael.
 
If you had completed your training you would understand that.
 
Falla was assigned to Jessica for a reason, and you were assigned to Colby long before you ever met Jessica.”

“I don’t see why it matters.
 
I’m doing just fine taking care of Jessica and I’m sure there are plenty of other guardians who would be great for Colby.
 
Can’t you just assign someone else to guard him?”

“That’s not the way it works, Michael.
 
The Lord has a plan far beyond what you can comprehend, my child.
 
You would be wise to trust it.”

“If I’d stuck to his plan, Jessica would be dead by now!” Michael exclaimed, throwing up his hands in frustration.
 
He realized he hadn’t been paying any attention to Jessica while he’d been talking with Emit and his heart contracted in fear as he search for her in the crowd of children.
 
When his eyes fell on her rainbow-striped ski cap discarded in the snow his heart stuttered, but Jessica was playing safely nearby, building a tiny snowman with Caleb and his brothers.
 
His heart swelled with joy at the sight of her, her happy little voice twittering in excitement as she told the Conrad boys everything she knew about how a proper snowman should look.

“I can’t leave her, Dominion Emit, I love her.
 
No one will ever love her as much as I do, so no one can ever take care of her like I will.
 
I wasn’t meant for Colby, Dominion; I was meant for Jessica.”
“Michael, listen…,” Emit began, but Michael interrupted him.

“No, you listen, Emit.
 
You told me I shouldn’t have saved Jessica when she was a baby, but look how she turned out.
 
She’s perfect and wonderful!
 
And that’s because I jumped in and did what needed to be done.
 
If I had left Falla to care for her, she’d be dead already.
 
You were wrong then and you’re wrong now.
 
I’m not leaving Jessica, Emit; find another angel to take care of Colby!”

Emit shook his head slowly in sadness and disappointment, wishing he could make Michael understand there was a reason for all of the Sovereign’s decisions.
 
They didn’t always make sense at first, but His ways were so much higher and His love for His creations was perfect.
 
Emit didn’t know all that would happen as a result of Michael’s disobedience, nor could he share with him all the things he did know, but he wished desperately that Michael could understand that there would be consequences to his actions.

“The baby is coming soon, Michael, but you have a few more days.
 
Please reconsider, Michael.
 
The Master knows best.
 
He loves you, Michael, and He loves Jessica, too.
 
He only wants what’s best for both of you.”

“Being together is what’s best for both of us,” Michael declared, and turned away from Dominion Emit, his mind made up and not a single doubt in his heart.

chapter five

As Jessica dozed off under the frilly lace canopy of her bed, Michael’s thoughts drifted back to what Dominion Emit had said on his recent visit.
 
It had surprised him to learn that the soon-to-be-born Colby Conrad was the child he had been intended for.
 
It seemed like a pretty amazing coincidence, but he remembered being told once that there were no coincidences as far as God’s plan was concerned.

His eyes roamed lovingly over his precious Jessica’s face — her long, black lashes quivering over the downy skin of her soft apple cheeks, her rosebud mouth puckering as she contemplated some fascinating element in her dreams, her baby fine hair splayed out in a fluffy black cloud around her head.
 
His heart ached with the heaviness of his love for her.

As he watched her, his mind began to imagine the passage of time.
 
He saw her tiny little body lengthen and her round baby face thin as she grew from a toddler to a child of four or five.
 
His eyes clouded as the vision followed her to school on her first day of kindergarten, her bright eyes shining as she took in the fascinating sights of her new school.
 
He saw her playing happily with the children in her class and later, at the park, with a bronze-haired boy.
 
He was younger than her, but she waited patiently for his little legs to catch up as they walked towards the swings.
 
Her frail skinny arms strained as she tried to help him up into the seat, the chore made all the more difficult when they dissolved into laughter at their own awkwardness.
 
He watched her grow into a lovely young lady as she passed through her preteen years with grace and confidence, the bronze-haired boy always by her side — heads bent together over school work and science projects and whispered conversations.
 
First as a playmate and then as a confidante, their tender affection blossomed from friendship into the first buds of romantic love as the last traces of childhood left their faces and their bodies hummed with attraction towards one another.

Michael’s eyes glazed over with more emotions than he could name as he watched her walk down the aisle of a rustic old church, her white dress billowing around her and her face glowing with happiness as she stared at the young man waiting for her at the altar.
 

“Yahweh has a long and happy life planned out for her, Michael.
 
You needn’t worry about her future.
 
I’ve given you a glimpse so you could understand, she will be in very competent hands,” Dominion Emit explained as he suddenly appeared, resting his hand on Michael’s shoulder.

Michael shook his head in consternation.
 
He wanted all these things for her, didn’t he?
 
Then why did the sight conjure up such complicated feelings of longing in him?
 
He even envied the bronze-haired boy in his vision, for he could touch her and hold her and revel in the pleasure of making her laugh.
 
He knew why he felt this way, but he wouldn’t let himself admit it.
 
As much as he wanted Jessica to be happy, he wanted to be part of that happiness even more, a tangible role that she could never deny.
 
He knew his kind could never have what he was wishing for, but it didn’t decrease the intensity of his desire for it in the slightest.
 
How could he ever leave her now, after seeing that?
 
She was his, and he couldn’t imagine missing a single moment of her life.

“I’m not leaving her, Emit, I don’t care how safe you think she’d be in Falla’s care.
 
I can’t give her up, she means too much to me.
 
I want to be here for all of that,” Michael explained, decidedly.

Emit sighed.
 
“But Michael, you still will be.
 
The boy in your vision, the one she loves, is Colby Conrad, Michael.
 
The connection you feel towards Jessica is real, Michael, you’ve just gotten a little ahead of yourself.”

Michael’s eyes widened in shock.
 
The boy was Colby?
 
Suddenly a new vision filled his mind as he pictured himself with the youngest Conrad, growing up in that house full of rowdy brothers then meeting the kind and tender-hearted Jessica, becoming fast friends as she took him under her wing then falling in love as she grew into a beautiful woman.
 
The picture was bittersweet.
 
Sure, he would still be part of her life, but how much of it would he miss, if he stayed with Colby?
 
He didn’t want to live in that oversized mansion with five rambunctious boys competing for attention.
 
It was so different, he could hardly imagine it.
 
He loved the quiet little world the Reynolds family had created for their daughter.
 
He loved the way her mother held her and sang to her and treated her like she was the most important person in the entire world.
 
Because she was.