Lost Time (9 page)

Chapter 14

Lani: Unchained Memory

I
push Diego’s wheelchair toward the Clinic, unable to stop thinking about his “beautiful when you’re mad” comment. He’s the first man since David to mention the unusual color of my eyes, and the only other man to ever call me beautiful.

The last time David did that was nearly twenty years ago. Doomsday was killing like a Biblical plague in third-world slums and refugee camps, and flights had been suspended. All over the planet, biodomes were being built by the thousands, but anyone with a brain could see that only a tiny fraction of the Earth’s population could fit inside.

And then the virus started killing in Mexico Cit
y—
and shortly thereafter, Los Angeles. Calls went out to institute a lottery, but the rich and famous had no intention of giving up their spots in the lifeboat. Rioting broke out all across the US, and angry mobs attempted to force their way inside the bubble
s—
why should only the rich survive?

Still, plagues had come and gone before, sometimes killing millions. Humanity survived. Most people just crossed their fingers and got on with their lives. What else could we do?

When two of David’s men showed up on my doorstep, I couldn’t believe my eyes. My brother peeked out from behind me as they explained that a place in the Kirk Biodome had been reserved for me: “One suitcase, one laptop, no pets.” They said I was required to appear the next evening at seven or risk forfeiture, and when I asked about my brother, they glanced down at him and shook their heads. “Only you, miss. I’m sorry.”

The Golden Ticket they handed me was worth million
s—
but I needed two. And I knew who could get me the second one.

“Tell Mr. Kirk I graciously accept,” I said. “And that I will save my thanks until I can deliver it personally.”

When we arrived the next afternoon, hundreds of people were camped around the biodome. I made arrangements for my brother to wait there with friends, and presented myself at the appointed time, suitcase and computer in hand. I was escorted in through a discreet side entrance where I was scanned, searched, and then made to wait for nearly two hours. There turned out to be a problem with the ventilation system in my sector, so
I—
and a roomful of other anxious peopl
e—
were told to come back the following day.

As I was being escorted out, one of David’s men caught up with me. He told me that I didn’t have to leave, that Mr. Kirk was waiting for me, and would I care to join him? My heart was beating so fast, I could barely answer.

Although David and I had been lovers off and on for month
s—
ever since his StreetSmart team recruited m
e—
I hadn’t seen him since he moved into the biodome, and I had missed him. He had always been good to me: getting me into med school, finding the apartment Sam and I rented, paying for my grandmother’s funeral. He wasn’t married yet, but I knew he had other wome
n—
I’d found panties in his car and a lipstick in his jacket pocke
t—
but I clung to the hope that I was different, special. I had never been a girly girl, and with my small chest, narrow hips, and hard-won street smarts, most people treated me like a boy. But David Kirk, the world-famous inventor of the biodomes, saw the princess in me, and I loved him for it.

The first time we had sex was on my seventeenth birthday, and it was the best day of my life. He took me shopping that afternoon and out to an expensive French restaurant that evening. When I didn’t like anything on the menu, he handed the waiter a hundred-dollar bill and sent him across the street to buy me a burger and fries. Afterwards, he ordered me two desserts, and while he waited for me to finish, he told me about his boyhood dream to design habitats for Mars and how that dream had transformed into building biodomes here on Earth.

Later, he escorted me to the most exclusive nightclub in Denver. We walked right past the long line outsid
e—
the men gazed at him with respect, while the women looked at me with jealousy. The bouncer greeted Mr. Kirk by name, and we were escorted to a reserved table, David shaking hands and slapping backs as we moved through a crowd of Denver’s Who’s Who. But I told him I didn’t like being in the limelight, that I just wanted to be alone with
him
, and we ended up leaving before the drinks even arrived.

He let me drive his Tesla up Lookout Mountai
n—
even though I’d never gotten a driver’s licens
e—
and I nearly drove it into a hedge. I thought he’d be angry, but he just laughed and showed me how to put it into autopilot. When we got to the top, we walked out on the rocky cliff, the cold wind in our faces, and gazed out at the city lights. He put his coat around my shoulders and held me close while he pointed out the biodome he was building. It glowed like a halo on the horizon.

“I’m going to save them, Lani,” he said, the wind tousling his hair.

“Who?” I whispered.

He turned to me, the starlight reflecting in his eyes. “Mankind.”

It was then I realized I was falling in love with him.

The guy was amazin
g—
smart, talented, and generous. He saved street kids, built biodomes, gave away millions. He could have any woman he wante
d—
movie star, athlete, supermode
l—
and yet, he had picked me. It took my breath away.

I didn’t want the evening to end, and after he drove me back to my apartment, I invited him in, insisting that since he’d paid for all my underthings, he should at least get a chance to see them on me.

He had laughe
d—
and then agreed.

It was my first time with a man, and it was incredibl
e—
better than I had dreamed it could be.

Even though my days were filled with classes and hospital rounds, I lived for the afternoons David and I spent together. He made me laugh, made me believe in myself, made me dream about the future. I couldn’t imagine my life without him. It was the first time in my life I was truly happy.

But as the months passed, I saw less and less of him. And after the Doomsday virus became airborne, I barely saw him at all. I read about his biodomes in the news nearly every day, and I told myself he was too busy saving mankind to squeeze in time for me.

Perhaps I even believed it.

When I arrived at his place that first night in the biodome, I was walking on clouds. I threw my arms around him and kissed him with my whole body. He was happy to see me, but he looked exhausted and his hair had gotten a lot grayer, like the stress of being the most famous man in the world was wearing him down. And I could tell he had been drinking.

He poured us both a Scotch and told me he had missed m
e—
that I was the only person in the world who actually cared about
him
. Everyone else just cared about what he could get them.

He asked me to undress, and I was happy to oblige. I had worn the lingerie he’d bought for me on my birthday, and he recognized it immediately. I knew then that I had won him back.

In the past, he had always been gentle with me in bed, but that night he was rough and vulgar, and it scared me. At one point I went down on him, hoping to please him with something new, and he accused me of fucking other men. When I said no, only hi
m—
which was the trut
h—
he slapped me across the face and told me not to lie. I didn’t know what to say or do, so I kept quiet and let him do what he wanted.

He had always been very careful not to get me pregnant, so it wasn’t until after he came that I realized he hadn’t used a condom that night. But what was I going to do, scold the man who had saved my life?

As soon as he came, he got up to use the bathroom. “Bella will be back early, so you need to leave.”

“Bella?” I asked like some lolo schoolgirl.

“My soon-to-be wife.”

I started getting dressed, my hands shaking so hard I couldn’t button my blouse. He watched me struggle for a bit and then stepped closer to help. “It’s nothing personal, Lani. I don’t love her, but I need her, and it’s the only way.” It was the first time I’d ever seen him uncomfortable.

I knew it was my last chance to bring my brother inside, so I forced myself to ask him.

He stood there for what seemed like an age, his face unreadable in the dark.

“David, please,” I said. “Sam’s smarter than I am. He’s only eight, but he knows how to program a computer. I’m the only family he has left, and if you don’t help him, he’ll be alone Outside. Please.”

When he found his voice, his whispered response cut like a scalpel. “Is that why you agreed to come here tonight? To suck my dick in exchange for another ticket? Jesus Fucking Christ, Lani, what are you, a whore?” He grabbed my arm so hard it left bruises. “Well, are you?”

“No!”

“Bullshit. You’re just like all the other fucking vultures.” And then he took his hand back to strike me, but stopped at the last second. “Fuck.” He let his hand fall to his side. “Just get out, okay? I’ll see what I can do. No promises.”

I tried to put my arms around hi
m—
to thank hi
m—
but he just pushed me away. “Get the fuck out before I change my mind.”

It was the last time I was alone with him.

At least you didn’t have to suffer the humiliation of him seeing what a deformed monster you’ve become.

I glance down at Diego in the wheelchair and blink back tears. In eighteen years, the only man who has awakened my shriveled heart finds me physically repulsive.

And who could blame him?

Despite that knowledge, I’m unable to let go of the way he made me feel when he put his arms around me tonight. Safe and expectant and…

Desirable.

Ka puka
, Lani. He’s your patient, and you’re nothing more than a glorified servant. As soon as he’s healed, he’ll drop you just like David did.

I know it’s true, but my heart refuses to listen.

As I maneuver Diego’s wheelchair through the back door of the clinic, Becky rushes down the hall smiling. “It’s ready, doc!”

“So soon?” I ask, my heart falling.

“Yessiree,” she says. “Lucy had maintenance over there all day fixing it up!” She hands Diego a tray of sandwiches and apples and then gives him a surreptitious wink. “About time you two got a little privacy.”

I clear my throat, irritated by the matchmaking that’s been going on. “Thank you, Becky.”

“You’re welcome, doc. Diego’s the only one here tonight, so unless you need anything else, I’ll be off.”

“We’ll be fine,” I say. “See you tomorrow.”

We watch her stride down the hallway and out the front door.

“What’s ready?” Diego asks.

“A surprise,” I say and start pushing him down the hall. “But it will have to wait until tomorrow. To be honest, I was hoping it would take a few more days to prepar
e—
give you a chance to get stronge
r—
but Lucy and Becky are right: It’s high time you got back to living your life.”

“Sending me Outside, are you?”

“Actually,” I say, “once you’re walking, that’s not a bad idea. There are hundreds of things that need to be repaired but are nearly impossible to do in a suit.”

“Forget I mentioned it.”

“But first, I’ll have to figure out how to get you in and out without collapsing your lungs. That was a bit dicey the first time around.”

“Yikes. I’m glad I was unconscious, but remind me not to make you mad.”

I stop and turn his chair around, my hands on my hips. “When have I ever been mad at you, Diego?”

“Are you serious? Twenty minutes ago you were furious with me.”

“No I wasn’t,” I say. “I was frustrated that you don’t trust me enough to tell me the truth.” I push him back into his room. “I still am.”

He cranes his neck around, looking pointedly at the ruined flesh on my face. “Ditto.”

“Oh no you don’t,” I say, positioning his wheelchair next to the sofa. “Not even close. My injury is just a passing curiosity to you. The future of mankind hinges on how you are able to survive Outside.”

“Christ, Lani. I already told you everything I know about it, so your argument is total bullshit.”

“Good to know.” I take the tray of food and set it on the small coffee table. “And although I’m sorry you find me repulsive, my past is none of your business.”

“I don’t find you repulsive, physically or otherwise, and it annoys the hell out of me that you keep implying that I do.” He narrows his eyes. “And I get that you’re my doctor. But you keep using that as an excuse to...”

“To what?”

He exhales. “Shit. Never mind.”

“An excuse to be professional despite the fact that you wink and joke and kiss me in front of my nurses?”

“I didn’t kiss you like we’re lovers, Lani.”

My breath catches in my throat, but he doesn’t notice.

“And it’s not me who’s winking and casting allusions. But yeah, I haven’t done anything to squelch it. I didn’t realize you found it so offensive.” He looks away. “But I won’t make that mistake again.”