Love and a Gangsta (3 page)

“I guess I can take you one more night, Rah.”

“In here you got nothing, but out there, you got everything to look forward to. I spent fifteen years trying to be a father to my daughter behind
these walls… Impossible. I missed my daughter’s first steps, her first words, and her first day of school, cause I’m contained miles away from her like some fuckin’ animal allowing for our children to make the same mistake we made.”

“I hear you Rah.”

“Do right by America, Soul. And don’t come back to this place. You got many talents, take advantage of them. And you’re fortunate to have a love one waiting for you behind these walls. Don’t make her do time with you ever again. She doesn’t deserve it. Every strong black woman deserves her man by her side, not on the inside. It’ll be hard Soul, but don’t be discouraged. You’re gonna have some challenges come your way… Challenges make life interesting. Overcoming them makes life meaningful. Take that with you when you leave this place and please stop jerking off now.”

I nodded. Rahmel got so deep that when he talked to you, you just shut up and listen. An O.G from South Jamaica, Rahmel was in his mid thirties, and well respected wherever he went. He used to kick knowledge to his little brother, Omega and me, history, current events, politics, and science. I mean shit that you thought he didn’t know anything about he would lecture it to us once in a while. But when beef came around, you saw a different side of him then. It was the side of him that got him locked up.

Back in the fall of 1990 Rahmel caught two bodies on Guy R. Brewer and South Road. One was a cop. I was ten when he was sentenced. In the beginning, Omega took it hard we both looked up to Rahmel. He used to call me his little brother and always treated me like family.

“Soul spit a lil’ sump’n for me, since this being your last night in here,” he said.

“No doubt, what you wanna hear?”

“Sump’n to keep me up,” he smiled.

“Yo, yo, yo, as I sit alone and try to keep my head above the sky, insecurity got my mind blackened like a soulless child. I do my best to keep my head above the rest, when I feel too stressed, I break down and cry like the rest. Sometimes I feel my life is lost, everything I achieve comes wit’ a cost. Wanna ball my fist and come storming out with full force, show the world that I’m much more than a ghetto ugly child. Got a few friends that I
trust, while the rest I give dap to and keep tabs on the most. Determination in these eyes you see, bleed, seek richness and greatness with every breath that I breathe. My life was ignorant in my past, sex, drugs, and uneducated, I see why the white man laugh. My heart dies every time I get disrespected by my own kind, wish it was peace back on the block, when these fools’ attitude is misery and just don’t give a fuck, make this buck and shoot everything up! I wish the Lord’s hands could come down and wash me from all my sins, but I feel the power of the devil sometimes possessing me within. Telling me it feels good son, damn, kill them niggas and hit them tight skins again. It’s outrageous how some of us became so weak within!”

“Yeah, preach young blood, preach on. Follow your heart, believe in yourself and Him and the Lord will lead you from there,” Rahmel said giving me dap. “Look out for my brother, Omega once you get home.”

“True indeed, Rah. I’ll make good on my word.”

 

 

Strong people surmount obstacles,
struggle against adversity and survive...

 

I glanced
at the time for the umpteenth time in one hour. The seven-hour trip to Malone, New York was tiresome, but I didn’t do it alone. My girl, Joanna made the trip with me, sharing driving chores. Around three in the morning, we left Queens to get to Franklin Correctional facility by ten.

I was a kid on Christmas Eve waiting for Omar to walk out the gates and in my arms. My body was flooded with anxiety and excitement all at once. All I could think about was, finally loving my man the way I wanted to without any restrictions. I tried to remain composed in the passenger seat.

My short denim skirt and tight blouse felt constricting. Every breath I took caused my chest to rise in desire, accentuating my firm breasts.I was comfortable in open toe sandals. Manicure, pedicure and hair were in place. I showered in Eternity, by Calvin Klein, the fragrance that Omar loved.

“Shit, I don’t know how you lasted girl, four years without any dick. Shit if he was my man, and he was locked up like that, he better know that I’m renting this pussy out to the next until he’s out. A woman need maintenance, I just couldn’t be doing the Virgin Mary thing like you did,” Joanna said jokingly but was actually serious.

“That’s the reason you don’t have a man,” I snapped back. “Guys love a woman that’s loyal.”

“Yeah, but behind your back he fuckin’ that bitch, this bitch, the bitch that works in K-mart, even the handicap bitch down the street. But you slip up one time and he gonna wanna start actin’ all crazy. Niggas ain’t shit. They dish it out, but when it’s payback time, they start actin’ like you just killed their mama, cuz you get caught cheating once.”

“Omar is for real, he always was and will always be,” I assured her. “He’d be stupid to fuck up what took ten years to build.”

“Just be careful. You’re definitely coming up with that music, girlfriend. You got some good fucking pipes that’ll give Mariah a run for her money. If you don’t do sump’n with it and blow, I’m gonna smack the taste out your mouth my damn self. Just because your man is getting out today, doesn’t mean you should stop what you’ve been working on these past four years.”

I smiled. “Thanks for the support; I didn’t know you care like that.”

“America, you know we go way back. I gotta stay looking out for you girlfriend. ‘Specially as much as bitches be hating on us because we the shit. You’re the only bitch from ‘round the way that can keep up with my fine ass when it comes to style and pizzazz.”

“I agree. You’re keeping up with me,” I joked.

“Don’t get it twisted, I’m Beyonce and you’re Kelly. Okay…?”

“Whatever!”

“But on the real…I don’t wanna see you get hurt, and I know you’re all horny and hot after being backed up. Before you wipe the cobwebs from your pussy and give him some, you better have him do a HIV test,” she suggested.

“What?”

“He’s been locked up for four years without any pussy. You used to tell me that his dick stayed up more than the American flag.”

“Unless he was with some female in there, he’s good. Omar ain’t no faggot,” I spat.

“Shoot, you don’t know what went on with him behind those walls. Yeah, he can start out good but you’ve heard the stories. Niggas switching up while they inside, he probably slipped and fell into something, and never stopped falling,” she proclaimed.

“Omar ain’t no homo-thug, okay Joanna?”

“You never know he could have the monster.”

“If you wanna stay my girl, please don’t go there,” I warned.

“The monster knows no boundaries and I’m saying—”

“Joanna…!” I shouted cutting her off. “Do not go there,” I said firmly.

Joanna knew Omar better. And I truly felt appalled that she tried to imply he couldn’t wait for me.

“I’m sorry,” Joanna said.

“We’ve been best friends since the ninth grade, Joanna. I know you are just looking out. So it’s already forgotten.”

Joanna was biracial and tan skinned. Her hips were thick with a curvy
figure, and blessed with a phat booty. She was so beautiful that she caught a couple of print gigs in magazines. She had mad respect, because of her father, Montana. He was a notorious drug kingpin who had Merrick Blvd and Baisley locked down back in the eighties and early nineties. Her father was Dominican, her mother Italian.

“America, you’re kinda quiet, you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re still not mad, right?”

“No, I understood where you were coming from. But to set it straight, I trust Omar, and I know he ain’t like that,” I stated, looking her square in her eyes.

“I know, but you hear stories,” she said.

A loud beeping and humming sound disturbed me, as I was about to reply. I noticed the tall steel reinforced gate of the prison sliding back.

“Oh thank you God,” I shouted. “I think he’s coming out now.”

I saw Omar walking out the prison, a smile on his face. He was dressed in some worn out looking gray sweats, a plain green T-shirt, and had a small bag in his hand.

“That’s him, my baby!”

I made a quick exit out the car and ran towards him like I had no sense. He dropped the bag he had in his hand and opened his arms to greet me.

I leaped into his arms, straddling him as he held me in his grip and close to him. I immediately started kissing him, shoving my tongue in his mouth, not giving him a chance to say one word to me. I felt his warm breath in my mouth, and his hands clutching my ass, with my legs wrapped tightly around him.

Tears of joy flooded and he let me go, looking me up and down. I flung my arms around my man and stared into his handsome face.

“I missed you, baby,” I exclaimed, hugging him tighter.

“I missed you too,” he answered in a soft deep voice.

I couldn’t let go. We held each like this without interference. It felt like I was dreaming.

“I appreciate you driving way out here,” he said.

“Baby, I wanted to see you the minute you stepped out of that place. Look at you,” I said, eyeing his gear. “They couldn’t give you something better to put on, this ain’t you?”

“I know,” he said.

“I got you,” I said.

I embraced him passionately and gave him a deep rooted kiss again. I didn’t want to let this man go. I felt this sudden bulge in his sweats rub up against me. I had him hard.

“I know, true indeed,” he said smiling.

“Don’t worry, baby, I’m definitely gonna take care of that once we get back home,” I said squeezing his hard on gently.

I missed his dick so much, that I wanted to fuck him right there in front of the jail.

Beep! Beep! Beep!

I heard the horn, and then Joanna shouting, “Would y’all two hurry up! It ain’t like Queens is right around the corner from this fucking place.”

“I see you brought this bitch with you, huh.”

“Yeah, I had to, it’s a long drive.”

“Indeed, it’s cool. I’m glad to see another familiar face,” he smiled.

We walked back to the car with me in his arms, looking like a teenage couple again. I couldn’t wait to melt in his grip and pour myself all over him.

“Hey Joanna, I see you still loud and ghetto,” Omar said, as he hopped into the backseat of my sliver Acura Legend.

“You ain’t drop the soap in there, did you, Omar?” Joanna countered back with her smart mouth.

“You still got jokes, huh bitch?” Omar snapped back.

“But who’s been the bitch for the past four years, huh? How did Bubba treat his number one ho?”

“Fuck you!” Omar replied jokingly.

He and Joanna always had jokes on each other. They had that love hate thing going on.

“You know we missed you around the way,” Joanna said.

“Yeah, true indeed, I definitely missed y’all,” he said.

I turned around in my seat, and couldn’t stop staring at him. It was like seeing him for the first time. Omar smiled back at me. His eyes were speaking to me and his body language was secretly seducing me.

“I love you,” he smiled.

“I love you, back,” I returned.

Joanna was driving, we informed Omar about changes around the way. But he basically knew who was locked up and who was dead already. Joanna took the first drive, and then I took over three hours later. Omar rode shotgun with me and Joanna was in the back taking a nap. My man was finally by my side, where he belonged.

Unless a man undertakes more
than he possibly can.
He will never do all he can…

 

 

 

An hour away from the city, I was too excited to even close my eyes and take a nap. I’d been up since five in the morning. The adrenaline flowing through me had me hyped. Being almost home in Queens had me feeling like a young boy on his way back home from camp.

I glanced at America, and she looked happy. She caught me checking her out, smiled back at me and blew me a kiss. The CD playing was a new young singer named Bobby Valentino. I gently bobbed my head to the track,
Tell Me.

“What’re you looking at?” she smiled.

“You,” I said.

“Why…?”

“You look good, baby,” I said.

“I always look good.”

“Right now you’re looking really good, indeed.”

She smiled again.

“I can’t wait to stretch my dick up in you,” I said placing my hand on her thigh and gently squeezing.

“You best behave. I’m like a virgin again.”

“Indeed, that’s the fuck I’m talking about.”

My fingers moved up her smooth brown skin, and wanted to continue. The bulge in my sweats became visible again. America noticed. I smiled.

“Tell him to behave, too.”

America’s foot pressed against the accelerator, slightly she opened her legs allowing my hand to slide up her skirt. Two fingers penetrated her tight, wet pussy. My index and middle fingers went deeper into her. She moaned and maneuvered the car through traffic. Her juices flowed over my hand, and felt my dick about to rip through my clothing as I continued to finger fuck her.

“Hmm, hmm, you better stop.”

“I can’t wait.”

“You gonna have me crash if you keep this up,” she said squirming around in her seat while trying to keep the Acura steady.

“True indeed.” I said removing my hand and licked my fingers.

“You nasty boy,” America smiled.

“Just trying to get a little taste before I get to the real thing,” I chuckled.