Love and Devotion (41 page)

She went to bed and passed a night of chaotic and violent dreams. Of Miles making love to Felicity while Dominic looked on furiously. Of Dominic fighting Miles, like he had that time outside the club in Manchester. Of Jeff threatening to kill himself if Felicity ever left him.

She woke in the morning exhausted and taut with anxiety. Should she talk to Miles after all and warn him about Dominic? No, she decided. She had meddled enough.

 

Harriet and the children arrived at number one Lock Cottage ten minutes earlier than the appointed time. Harriet had wanted to look at the outside of the property unhindered by Miles’s presence or the estate agent’s representative.

The end-of-terrace cottage was empty, the owners having already moved out due to a company relocation, and after parking the car on the small gravelled area at the front, she took the children round to the back, which was the aspect of the house she knew they would appreciate most. Her parents had both declared her mad even to think about it, reminding her, as if she hadn’t already given it her consideration, that children and water made a dangerous mix. But the thought of living in such a picturesque setting was irresistible to Harriet. Both children let out shrieks of delight when they saw that beyond the small, south-facing back garden, just the other side of the boundary wall, was the towpath and the canal.

Carrie was tall enough to see over the wall, and after hoisting Joel up so that he was sitting on top of it, his legs dangling over the side, the three of them took in the view. It was a glorious autumnal morning, a day so still it was as if time had been stopped in its tracks. After the last few days of frosts and freezing temperatures, the weather was unexpectedly mild. The sky was the palest of blues, and the shadows were long and ethereal. Unlike the stretch of canal at the back of Maple Drive, which was densely lined either side with trees and banks of hedgerows, the aspect here was open and exposed. Freshly ploughed fields, their rippled surfaces illuminated by the golden sunlight, undulated gently into the distance. Away to the right there were crows gathered in the tallest branches of a lone beech tree, their noisy cawing the only sound to be heard. Bob and Eileen would probably think the view was too bleak, but Harriet thought it was beautiful. She turned round to look at the cottage and thought of the views the bedrooms at the back would offer. A flicker of movement at the window in the next-door property had her hoping the natives were friendly. Because without even taking a step inside the cottage, she knew this was where she wanted to be.

‘What do you think?’ she asked the children. It was important to her that they shared at least half her enthusiasm.

‘Could we have a boat if we lived here?’ asked Joel.

She lifted him down from the wall. ‘Maybe a very small rowing boat. The cottage does have its own mooring rights.’

‘We’d be like Ratty in
Wind in the Willows,’
joined in Carrie. ‘We could go for picnics in the boat. And Miles could come with us, couldn’t he?’

‘He could indeed,’ Harriet said guardedly. She’d been aware lately how frequently Carrie brought Miles into the conversation. Hearing the sound of a car, she said, ‘Come on, that’ll either be Miles or the person who’s going to show us round.’

It turned out to be both arriving in convoy. Miles greeted Harriet with a kiss on the cheek and the man, about the same age as her father, brandished a set of keys and house details, saying, ‘This is my first day on the job, so if I can’t answer any of your questions, I do apologise. Now then, let’s see if we can get the front door open. I was warned it could be a bit tricky. Ah, that’s got it,’ he said, after applying his shoulder to the solid wood door. He stood back to let them all go inside. ‘Of course, it’s always better to view a house when it’s lived in,’ he said, ‘so you’ll have to fill in the blanks for yourselves.’ Harriet was grateful for his running commentary; it meant she didn’t have to speak to Miles.

Despite the echoing emptiness of the rooms and the dirty smudge marks on the walls where pictures had once hung, Harriet wasn’t disappointed with what she saw. Leading off from a small hallway there was a downstairs cloakroom and a good sized sitting room with a view of the tiny front garden, but it was the large kitchen and breakfast room at the back that gave her a shiver of excitement. The cooking area was clean and modern with light beech units and granite surfaces, just as she would have chosen for herself. The sun streamed in through the French doors that opened onto the rear garden. Harriet looked at the children to gauge their reaction. After all, as inconceivable as it had seemed six months ago, this could be their home for a very long time. This was where Harriet would have to guide them through the nightmare of puberty and adolescence and all the ensuing dramas their combined lives would bring. Living here, she might just pull off the required miracle.

 

Carrie wanted to choose her bedroom, and with Joel chasing after her, she clattered up the uncarpeted stairs and crashed into the first room she came to. It was smaller than the room she had at Grandma and Granddad’s, but much prettier. There was a lovely little fireplace opposite the window; it was so small it looked like something out of a dolls’ house. She went and stood in front of the window. If she had a chair and desk right here, she’d be able to watch the boats going past. She couldn’t think of anything nicer.

Except for having Mum and Dad back with them.

It was on a day like this, when something good was happening to her, that she really missed them. She used to love coming home from school to tell Mum about all the interesting things she’d done that day. They’d sit together and Mum would listen to everything she said and then hug and kiss her and tell her how clever and special she was.

But now Carrie kept everything to herself. It was better that way. Grandma was too tired to listen, Granddad was never around and Harriet was too busy. Although she had noticed that Harriet had asked her more questions about school this week than she normally did. She’d told Harriet that she was bored most of the time during lessons, which she was. She hadn’t said anything about the letters, or how the girls had stopped writing them now. One of the girls, Emily — the one who’d seen her coming out of the charity shop during half term — had even tried to be friendly to her in the playground the other day. At first she had been wary, expecting Emily to suddenly start laughing at her, but when she didn’t say something horrible or tease her, Carrie had thought that maybe she was quite nice after all.

‘Carrie! Come and see what I’ve found.’ She turned at the sound of Joel’s shrill voice and hurried into the room next door. It was bigger than the one she’d claimed for herself, but didn’t have a view as nice as hers. There was no sign of her brother and she was just thinking that maybe he was in another bedroom when behind her a door flew open and Joel leapt out.

‘It’s a secret hiding place,’ he said when he’d stopped laughing. Carrie knew that it was nothing more than a cupboard at a strangely low height, but she kept quiet; if Joel wanted this room, she’d be able to have the one with the brilliant view. ‘Do you think Harriet will let me have this room?’ he said.

‘Let’s go and ask her.’

They found her across the narrow landing in a bedroom that was much bigger than either of theirs and had the same view as the room Carrie had picked out for herself. Her aunt was talking to the man who’d come with the keys while Miles was kneeling on the wooden floor in front of a fireplace and looking up the chimney.

Joel nudged Carrie. ‘Is he looking for Father Christmas?’

Miles laughed and got to his feet. ‘I was trying to see if the chimney was blocked.’

‘And is it?’ asked Harriet, coming over to them.

‘Not as far as I can see.’

‘Excellent! A log fire in my bedroom; how fantastically decadent.’

Carrie noticed the happy smile on Harriet’s face and thought that she should smile more often; it made her look pretty. More like Mum.

When they were saying goodbye to the man with the keys and Miles suggested they go out for lunch together, Carrie pricked up her ears. Would they be going to that Italian restaurant again? But she was disappointed when Harriet said, ‘I’m sorry, Miles, but we can’t. Mum’s doing one of her all-singing and all-dancing Sunday roasts.’

Carrie didn’t know what her aunt meant by all-singing and all-dancing, but having enjoyed herself so much looking at this lovely house, she didn’t want the day to turn boring. She also hadn’t forgotten her plan to try and get Harriet to spend more time with Miles. With him around, Harriet didn’t seem so serious or so snappy. And hadn’t she just smiled?

But Miles wasn’t the only person who could make her aunt smile. Carrie had definitely seen Harriet smiling and laughing with Will the other night during the fireworks. Did that mean she liked Will as much as Miles? It was all very confusing. Were you allowed to like more than one man at a time? She didn’t know the answer to that, but she decided it would be nice if Miles came home with them. ‘Couldn’t Miles come back with us for lunch, Harriet?’ she said. ‘Grandma wouldn’t mind, would she?’ She smiled at her aunt, willing her to say yes.

 

 

 

 

Harriet didn’t know what had got into Carrie. For a start she’d taken it upon herself to invite Miles for lunch - much to Harriet’s annoyance, he’d readily accepted - and now she was crashing around the dining room like a whirling dervish, telling them all where to sit in accordance with the place cards she’d decorated with pink and silver glitter. Perhaps it was the excitement of finding a house they all liked. She was now flinging her hands in the air in response to Joel climbing onto a chair next to Harriet. ‘No,’ she cried, ‘that’s where
Miles
has to sit. See, Joel, the card says M.LL.E.S.’ She spelled out the name pedantically. ‘You have to sit on my side of the table.’

‘Do get a move on, Carrie,’ Harriet’s father said impatiently. ‘The food will get cold if we hang about any more.’

‘Ssh ... Bob, don’t hurry her,’ Eileen soothed. ‘She’s gone to a lot of trouble.’

‘I don’t care how much trouble she’s gone to,’ he muttered peevishly, ‘I refuse to eat a cold roast. And Joel, do we have to have that mangy old scarf at the table?’

They eventually sat down in their allotted seats. Bob carved, with Eileen doing her usual act of supervising which bits of the joint to give everyone - something Harriet knew annoyed her father - and she offered to pour the wine for the adults and some grape juice for the children. She carried out this simple task applying all her concentration to it so that she wouldn’t have to talk to Miles. Or think about him. Because whenever she did, her brain automatically assembled a slideshow of graphic images of him and Felicity in bed together — of Felicity straddling Miles, of Miles sucking and biting her, of Felicity throwing her head back in a moment of ecstatic abandonment. It pained Harriet to admit it, but she envied her sister, for she had never felt that depth of passion for a man she’d ever been to bed with.

When everything was served and a hush had fallen on the table, Eileen said, ‘Now then, tell us properly about the house, Harriet.’ Her mother’s voice was just a little too bright and jolly, as though she was making too great an effort for the sake of their guest.

‘It was brilliant,’ Carrie rushed to explain before Harriet could open her mouth. ‘Completely mega brill. And the bedroom Harriet says can be mine is just so cool.’

‘Carrie, please don’t interrupt or speak with your mouth full. And whatever has happened to your vocabulary? When did everything become brill and cool?’

Another time and Harriet might have made the same reprimand as her father, but not today, not when she was only too grateful to have Carrie fully on-side. Angry that her father was in such a foul mood and had pulled up Carrie so needlessly in front of Miles, she said, ‘Carrie couldn’t have described the house better.’ She shot her niece a quick smile and received a potato-chomping grin in return. She then turned to Miles to further diffuse the situation. ‘You thought it was great too, didn’t you?’

‘It certainly has a great location,’ he agreed. ‘Stunning, in fact.’

‘But it’s the location that concerns me,’ said Eileen. ‘How safe would it be?’ She inclined her head towards the children and lowered her voice. ‘It’s so close to the water.’

Amused that her mother thought Carrie and Joel hadn’t already figured out the danger for themselves, she said, ‘We could live on a busy main road and it would be just as dangerous.’

Spearing a baby carrot with his fork and waving it around in the air, Joel said, ‘Harriet says we can have a boat to play in.’

Eileen looked alarmed. To allay her mother’s fears, Harriet said, ‘I didn’t say anything about playing in it, Joel. Boats have to be taken very seriously.’ Privately she thought Joel’s interpretation was spot on. She could already see herself mucking about on the canal when she came home from work on a warm summer’s evening.

‘So are you going to make an offer for it?’ This was from her father.

‘She already has,’ chipped in Carrie. ‘On her mobile in the car.’

‘I hope you weren’t driving at the same time.’

Harriet frowned. Just what the hell was eating her father? ‘No, Dad, it was a hands-free call as always.’ More to her mother than her father, she said, ‘I wanted to get in quick. A property like that will get snapped up in no time: Rather than risk losing it to a higher offer, I’ve offered the full asking price; the agent sees no reason why the owners won’t accept it. I’m going back to see it tomorrow evening after work. Do you want to come? Dad, what about you? Do you want to take a look at it?’

‘Sounds to me like you’ve made up your mind without our approval.’

‘It’s not a matter of seeking your approval. I thought you’d be interested.’ Her tone was sharp and it had her mother looking anxiously at her. If it weren’t for Miles and the children, Harriet would have gladly pushed the matter. Her father’s manner was putting a real dampener on things. Why was he behaving like a grumpy old man? Keeping quiet, she took a gulp of wine and got on with her meal. It was then that Carrie suggested they go for a walk with Toby after lunch.