Love Delayed (29 page)

“You have any regrets?” she asked with the back of her head to me.

I shook my head right away and eventually answered, “The best fucking birthday I’ve ever had.”

~
Zoey
~

The best birth—

I leaped backwards in my seat to ask why he would keep a birthdate from me. However, Stenton was gone. I wondered why he wouldn’t have shared that with me before today. I could have baked him a cake, sang happy birthday or something. That aside, it was clear to me that he if wanted me to make a big to-do over it, he would have shared it in advance. So, I instantly decided to drop it and simply be grateful that it was a great day after all.

That day, Stent
on was strange…distant. I don’t know how long he stood behind me before announcing his presence. I came out there to meditate. I’d been having such a great time being crazy that I needed a moment of quiet to collect myself, pray, and reconnect. It balanced me, made me feel safe.

When I felt I had enough and was perhaps being rude, I
stood to go back inside. Stenton wasn’t there. He wasn’t in bed either. I was hungry and guessed he was, too. We’d had a bit to drink last night and when we returned from the tattoo parlor, we spent hours making love before showering then crashing into the mattress to sleep. I figured he was probably exhausted from all of that activity. He was in rare form the night before, more vocal with his pleasure, clasping my hips tighter, lying inside me longer, well after our climaxes, withholding nothing. I shook it off as us growing closer in our intimate relationship.

After dressing, I walked out into the living room where I saw him on his laptop with the television going in front of him.

“I’m hungry. I know you must be, too,” I called over to him. “You wanna start breakfast?”

He never looked up at me. Stenton shook his head. “Nah. I’m returning emails, this may take a while.”

“Okay,” I spoke slowly. His response was a bit detached. “Then don’t be mad at my selection,” I teased as I walked away.

Once breakfast was done, I set it up at the dining room table where we’d been eating since we arrived. When I called him in, Stenton said he was still busy with emails and would eat in
in the living room. He didn’t even ask me to bring his plate. He came and got it without any eye contact. As I ate at the table alone, I couldn’t shake the cold vibes I’d been picking up. Did I do something wrong last night while drunk? I mean, I was pretty intoxicated, but not past the point of sense. Heck, I woke up hoping the tattoo parlor trip wasn’t just a vivid dream. I was relieved when I saw his initials on the inside of my ring finger. I hadn’t quite worked out what would be my response when people took notice of it, but was ecstatic about my decision and would do it again. My parents killing me be damned.

Not long after cleaning up breakfast, Rob and Barry came over to check in. It was our last day
on Grand Cayman and I’d told Stenton I wanted to go back into town to get souvenirs. I didn’t work out how I would explain them to my mom, but figured I’d deal with that once back on U.S. soil.

“Stent.
” I gaited into the living room where he was still seated on the couch. He wore lounge pants and the only thing covering his upper body was red, yellow and black ink. “You want to go into town so I can pick up those few keepsakes we talked about?”

He at least gave me eye contact for the first time today.

“Nah. You can go with Rob and B.” He glanced over to the guys. “Wasn’t it something y’all needed from there before we bounce tomorrow?”

“Yeah, we can go now,
Zo. Come on,” Barry waved his arm behind him as he stood.

Rob followed his movements
as they headed for the door. I steeled in place, feeling uneasy about that call. Stenton and I had been inseparable the entire trip. Why the sudden need for distance? Stenton never looked up, and I couldn’t formulate the words of inquiry regarding his mood without coming off as argumentative, so I decided to head to the back for my purse and went into town with the guys.

We were out there for hours. I was able to find cute trinkets for my mom,
Karen, and my roommate. I also found nice jewelry for me. There were two rings that perfectly covered my tattoo until I was ready to expose it to the world. I ended up picking up fish from a market and finally decided to head back to the house. Stenton was likely starving, and I was getting there myself.

When I made it back, I put my things away and didn’t see him bumming around in the house. I chanced a peek outside to find him doing laps in the pool. Even doing that
, he seemed preoccupied, very solitary. Leaving him out there to himself, I went into the kitchen and prepared lunch. I heard him come inside and pass by, but he didn’t stop in. As I was putting the food on the plate, he popped his head in the doorway of the kitchen.

“You got it?”

I sucked my teeth. “How convenient. I’m done. You can grab your plate though.”

I handed him a plate and he left out. When I was
ready, I grabbed my plate and went into the dining room where I found him waiting on me. I didn’t know what to expect after his distance earlier.

As we ate, I had to address his mood change
.

“Stent, are we okay?”

Stenton nodded his head over his food. His eyes was trained to the plate.

“I’m just mentally preparing for the shit I’m about to walk into as soon as we step off the plane to tomorrow. This was a real vacation week for me. If I’m not careful, my only for the year.” He scratched his eyebrow
and exhaled hard. “My manager has so much shit lined up over the next few weeks into training season.”

I nodded my head slowly, trying to make myself believe him. I mean, what did I have to go on? I didn’t recall doing anything wrong.
This was a bit strange, but I decided to drop it. I didn’t want to harp on negativity. Plus, I’d never spent so much time with Stenton. He could be an introvert for all I knew.

“What’s your schedule looking like for the summer? Are you doing
Working Toward the Stars
again?” he asked, still not looking at me.

“Nope,” I used the popping sound for humor. “
I’ll be finishing up with this summer course and relaxing before the fall semester begins and I get swamped.” I stretched my arms above my head.

“Are you excited about the coming semester?”

That was an odd question.

“Yeah. It’s another step closer to finishing.” I gave a wry smile.

Stent nodded his head as he went back to eating. We didn’t talk much after that. When we were done, Stenton cleared the dishes and I went to the bedroom to start packing. Our flight was early and I didn’t want to forget anything. Stenton spoiled me over the past week. He took me shopping, creating the need for another suitcase.

“Are you marinating that chicken in the fridge?” Stenton’s head
top with little curls peeked in the door of the bedroom. I turned to him. “It’s the last thing in there. I can prepare the marinade the way you showed me and soak it.”

His inquisitive gaze soothed my gut feeling of their being an issue between us. I’d hope
d he was coming out of whatever was bugging him earlier and we could enjoy the last few hours in paradise with our usual chemistry.

“Yeah, knock yourself out. I trust your measurements.” I quickly turned my back to him to be sure he saw my crossed fingers behind me.  I heard his laughter as he left for the kitchen.

I went for a swim and bummed around by the pool. I was so happy to experience the view, and sad to be leaving the next day. Stenton was around, but still not back to himself. He practically cooked alone and didn’t speak much at all during dinner. We found ourselves turning down for bed together and when I closed my eyes to doze off, I called myself a wimp for wanting to cry. I didn’t though; I drifted off with a head full of questions.

Sometime later, I was being pulled while asleep. I felt my pajama slip shifting underneath me. I opened my eyes to
the lucent nightlights pushing through the thin curtains covering the bed. I also felt and smelled
him
. I could feel the force of his breath hitting me. Then I felt his warm lips touching mine, not kissing me; just hovering over, parted. My body immediately responded, wanting to taste him.

As he lifted my gown, he whispered, “
I’m not ready.”

I didn’t know what he meant and was still fighting sleep
against abrupt arousal, so I couldn’t ask for clarity. However, I was reminded of his parting words to me in Philly. Stenton pulled my slip over my head, leaving me completely naked. Then his lips pressed into mine and he swallowed my face whole. That brought me to full consciousness. My hands grabbed the sheet on either side of me. I guess I wasn’t used to this functionality of them; more often than not, when we made love in bed, I was restrained. His tongue moved vehemently through my mouth, not really needing my participation.

He pulled away from my face and from the rays of the pool lights outside the suite, I could see his eyes opening. “I’m not ready to leave. I want to stay
here…alone with you. Forever,” he murmured while reaching his long arm over to the nightstand. I heard the rustling of the aluminum condom package then I felt his hands below, between us. “Why can’t
this
euphoria last forever?”

I felt him inside me.

“Touch me, Zo,” he drug lazily in my ear.

My hands flew to his head and I combed my fingers through the fine curls of hair.
My hips pushed into his pelvis, giving him all I had, hoping it would end his sullenness from earlier. He’d retreated for nearly twenty-four hours and I missed him terribly. I could deal with a little quietness, but not rejection from Stenton. I didn’t fully encompass his communication, but each thrust was delivered with force, each kiss landed with reverence, and each word he uttered in my ear was carried with passion. We made love until I tapped out and Stenton came not too far behind me. Almost immediately after, he carried me to the bathroom to shower.

The next day, as we were on the plane and just had taken off, Stenton was brooding again. He had been from the time he awakened. I didn’t get it. I thought we’d gotten past this.
I’d started to wonder if this was how sex partners behaved. I had no experience. Whatever it was, it didn’t feel good at all. Where was my friend? We’d just shared an incredible week in paradise and it ended sourly.

Our plush leather seats faced each other. From across the small table, I observed Stenton
’s fixation out the window. My heart ripped each time I stole a glance in his direction. Rob and Barry sat in a set of seats behind us, busy with their own affairs.

I had to do something to occupy my frustration, so I picked up a
Sister2Sister
magazine and thumbed through the featured articles. The distraction must have helped because I was shocked when I felt Stenton’s hand reach for mine from across the table. I lowered the magazine and found his gaze.

His expression was pained and apologetic at the same time. It further confused me. He slowly licked those full, heart-shaped lips before speaking.

“Zo,” he pushed out hoarsely. “I enjoyed being with you this week.”

I felt myself grimace. “Are you breaking up with me?”

“No!” He shook his head. “But that’s what I was getting at.”

All I could do was stare blankly at him, awaiting something of substance.

“Where do you see this thing going between us?”

“The more you speak, the more you sound
like you’re ending things.” I placed the magazine on the table, giving him my full attention.

He scoffed. “Why
the hell do you keep bringing that up?”

“Okay.” I jerked my chin. “Speak.”

He inclined in his seat, keeping his voice low. “I don’t know how to label us. I don’t want to fuck this thing up. We started off as great friends and then we…fucked and now…we fuck. I don’t know how to label this thing, and I want us to both be aware and comfortable with who we are.”

I didn’t understand what Stenton was trying to say, but I caught on to his earnest attempt at trying to come to a peaceable agreement about us. I thought.

“Are you afraid that I’ll be asking you to be my boyfriend, Stenton?” I questioned with a leveling glare that was meant to humor him—or insult.

He chuckled
half-heartedly, but fought to get back on track. “Zo, my schedule is crazy. I just finished up the season exactly a week ago and already I’m headed out of the country to do promos. Then I turn around and head straight to L.A. to shoot a commercial for
McDonald’s
. My fucking life isn’t mine, and you’re not the type to put your life on hold and wait until I get off yet another plane from my latest business obligation. I don’t want to give you some half ass shit.”

It was my turn to sit up in my seat. “Stenton, if you want to continue to be…friends, that
’s fine with me. I won’t demand anything but your friendship. Everything else is…great, but that’s what I want more than anything.”

After staring at me long and hard, deciphering I didn’t know what, he sat back in his chair, going back to window watching. The man was maddening. I
’d hoped I calmed any troubles he was experiencing about my expectations of this thing. I lied about only wanting his friendship; I wanted all of Stenton, but I didn’t know if that was too large an order for the both of us at that point.