Love Delayed (31 page)

Again
, I nodded.

There was a long pause
, I’m sure Karen was trying to process the gamut of information I’d just laid on her. I was still fighting to make sense of it now that I’d spoken it out loud. Then Karen shot from her seat and headed out of the room.

“You cannot whisper a word to
Ang, Karen!”

Karen halted in her tracks. “Are you kidding me?”
She gave me a sharp gaze. “I’m about to feed those limbs of yours so we can restore your energy for prayer.”

“Been there, done that,” I
mumbled.

“When two are gathered in my name,
Zo! You know the scripture. You gonna need a backup warrior to deal with that Angela. Until then, my lips are sealed…outside of touching and agreeing with you.”

In that moment, I couldn’t say I felt better, but I did feel like the load was light after having shared it with someone who loved and respected me.

~~~~~~~~~~

July 2007

“
Ohhhh! We so killed it tonight!” Bernard bellowed as he jumped out of the door, at the rear of the church. “Come Sunday morning, folks are going to be dropping to the floor to get their deliverances. Gloraaay!”

Karen laughed hard as she held her belly. She was right behind him and in front of me. Bernard could be funny when he wanted to. Nothing moved that boy more than musi
c. He lived for it. Whenever a new gospel song broke the airwaves, he’d jump to rehearsal to teach it to our choir and execute it the following Sunday. Tonight was no different.

What
was out of the ordinary was the fancy Lamborghini parked just outside the door. The lengthy figure leaning against it with his legs crossed was unexpected, too. Just behind the sports car was a conspicuous black SUV with all tinted windows. Right away, I knew that was his security, or armor as he referred to it.

My mouth went dry at the sight of him in army fatigue cargo shorts, a simple yellow tee and sneakers just as fancy as his sports car.

Stenton’s impassive eyes assessed me, then went to Karen. But it was when they landed on Bernard that I’d seen an emotion. He was angry. He pushed up from the car and stood tall—as if he could appear any lengthier. His biceps flexed beneath his tatted sleeve and his jaw followed suit. I swallowed hard.

“
Holy mother of Joseph!” Karen whispered, clearly entranced.

That woke me out of mine. But I still couldn
’t think to speak. As crazy as it sounds, I hadn’t counted on ever seeing him again, much less outside of my church.

“
Can I talk to you, Zoey?” His eyes darted over to Bernard. “Alone.”

“
I’ll wait here for you,” Bernard murmured, undoubtedly star-struck, but exposing his blustering ego along with Stenton’s.

“
What do you want to do, Zo?” Karen asked, attempting rationale.

Stenton approached us and my heartbeat increased with each step.

“You must be Karen. I’m Stenton. Congrats on your recent nuptials and new baby. Zoey shared his pictures. He’s a gorgeous little guy.” Stenton extended his hand.

Karen obliged with an ashen face.
“
Y
-you know my name...seen my baby? Holy mother of Joseph!”

Stenton snorted.
“Of course. Zoey was proud to become an auntie to him.”

My body
steeled at him recounting my sharing of my elation when I’d first met Karen’s bundle of joy. How could he present himself as an intimate friend of mine after dramatically and coldly creating a wedge between us? It was torturing.

Karen blushed herself red.
“Oh!” she yelped, regaining her faculties, I’d assumed. “This is our friend, Bernard.”

Stenton turned to Bernard, narrowed his eyes and angled his head.
“I don’t recall Zoey ever mentioning you.”

Bernard
’s mouth went agape. He didn’t seem to have a response to that. Neither did I.

“
Did you drive?” Stenton asked.

My eyes fluttered as I shook my head, still
overcome by his all-consuming presence. “No.”

“Karen, I’
ll give Zoey a lift.” Stenton looked directly at Karen, assuming I’d driven with her.

“
Zo, your mom is expecting me to drop you off safely tonight,” Bernard sheepishly asserted.

He was embellishing. I didn
’t know what his motive was and simply hoped it was to give me an out in case I didn’t want to retreat with one of the biggest names in sports.

“
I’ll make sure Sarah’s wishes are carried out.” Stenton extended his hand to reach for me.

“
Zo, if you want to come back to my place, you’re more than welcome,” Karen offered, I was sure she was trying to dispel the illusion of Bernard and me having more than we did. I was grateful for her wit, because I was rendered witless in Stenton’s presence.

I
couldn’t resist him if I wanted to. There was no way I should have gone with him considering how raw and vulnerable I was. However, no matter his audacity, I couldn’t repel him. After all, he didn’t exactly seem to be well adjusted himself.

I took his hand and he walked me over to his car. I heard Karen
’s goodbyes behind me. From over my shoulder, I saw them walk over to their respective cars. When they pulled out of the parking lot I turned to Stenton, facing my pain.

“
You’ve been staying with Karen?” He reached over and brushed his calloused thumb over the dark spot underneath my right eye. I winced at his touch. I didn’t know how to receive him, receive it.

I swallowed, fortifying myself.
“I haven’t been home in a week. I couldn’t continue to have my mom see me like this.” My voice was suddenly raspy. That was what this man did to me.

“Why
, Niña?” Stenton’s shaky tone spilled out.

His question and reference angered me. It made my soul cry again. My body
quivered from my attempt to keep it together. I tried to conceal the anger.

“Because if she sees this, she’ll hate you!” I final
ly tapped into my feelings, caved into my misery. After a moment I was able to admit, “I don’t want my mother hating you. I’m not ready for that. If she hates you then maybe I will, too. And I’m not ready to hate you, Stenton. I’m not ready to move on from you. From us. And I feel like such a sappy princess for it. I almost detest myself for loving you!”

I
lifted my eyes to control the water threatening to spill. When I raised my chin I saw Stenton shaking his head regrettably.

“There’s
no need to hate yourself because of my stupid ass actions. It’s just—” His fist rose to his face and slammed into his mouth. “I just—” Again with the fist. “Zoey, I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to do this or…if it’s even fair for me to ask you to be with me at this delicate point in your life. I’ve never had to deal with someone as smart as you are and…loving and…so damn tender, Zo.” With his fists resting on either side of his hips, Stenton’s chin collapsed into his chest.

“Well, I don’t know what to say either. But what I do know is I’ve never felt pain…or loss the way that I have
since Cayman. I’ve lost meaningful relationships…shoot, Angela isn’t speaking to me now. But this,” I place my hand over my heart. “…and this,” I shift both my hands to my belly. “…I’ve never felt physical pain like this before, Stenton. I don’t want this anymore.”

When his eyes landed onto my belly, Stenton heaved harshly and
quickly shifted away in the other direction, brushing his hand roughly over the back of his neck, appearing embattled.

He didn’t turn
back to me when he muttered, “I need you to come with me. I need you tonight.”

What?

Wait…
“How did you even know I was here?”

Then
Stenton turned and cracked a toothless, one-sided grin, resembling a bashful boy. “Facebook. You said you were starving in the back pew at choir rehearsal.”

“Come on. I’ll feed you.” He delivered casually as he started his stride back to his car.

I nodded, still dazed.

What was I supposed to say?
No. Absolutely not?
Being a young and inexperienced, I had no wherewithal against the object my heart and body were instinctively
and impulsively
drawn to. It wasn’t a matter of trust that made my decision; it was a matter of need. I needed Stenton, too.

When Stenton didn’t hear from me, he turned back and closely regarded my face. I don’t know what it
showed, but he correctly perceived my answer when he returned to me, took my hand and walked me over to the passenger door.

  
The ride was silent. I was trying to think of good phrases, sarcasm and wit to illustrate the pain I’d been in. I needed him to know and possibly feel it so that he would see only being with him could cure it. On our way up to his apartment, I kept my view at his feet. I couldn’t look directly into his handsome face because I’d weaken.

“You’re making that fucking sound again,”
he growled as we ascended in the elevator.

Ugh! My throat!
I had to get a hold of myself.

As we exited and saunter
ed to his door, I frantically rolled over in my mind what I would say. During the separation period, one of the millions of reasons I could think would be the reason he broke up with me is our age difference; perhaps he perceived me as immature. It would be an unpopular opinion, but a reason nonetheless. If this was correct, I needed to carefully gather my words. The last thing I wanted him to do was be reminded of his theory. My pulse raced in panic from the clock ticking. I was losing time.

W
hen we stopped at the door I heard the clacking of the lock and knob. A tart film coated my mouth. The door opened and I followed the back of his colorful sneakers. The door slammed behind me, then I was being lifted into the air and my back collided with the wall. Stenton’s tongue was in my mouth and his big hot hands were all over my breasts, thighs and hips. When my legs were somehow secured around his narrow waist, Stenton sandwiched my head between his hands as if he was trying to prevent me from going anywhere.

His kiss stole my breath and in no time I was sparring with him. Though I’d kissed him countless times, this one was different. It was feral. Desperate. Unyielding.
He sucked on my tongue with fraught hunger. Then I felt his erection press into my core as he grinded into me. I could do nothing but ride to feel friction. My sex gelled with desire and my leg muscles strengthened to pull him into me. Suddenly, I was reminded of what passion felt like, of what he did to me carnally.

Abruptly
, Stenton pulled from me. “Zo,” his voice was gruff, revealing I wasn’t the only one caught up.

I kept grinding into him. “No!” I reached for his face again and all he allowed was
a sucking peck.

“
Zo, baby, someone is here.”

Huhn?

I turned first to the left. No one. Then to the right where I saw a handsome olive skinned man with beautifully laid dark hair and perfectly arched brows, standing awkwardly at the island, trying to suppress his laughter.

My neck snapped back to Stenton. “Who is that?”

“Remember I said I would feed you? This is Jimmy John, a friend of mine, who has come on short notice to cook Indian cuisine for you.”

My eyes race
d in their sockets as I tried to gather myself.

“Do you want to eat now or later?” Stenton gave me a deep licentious gaze.

There was no way I’d muster the appetite to eat after that. I glanced over to Jimmy, who with a broad smile, lifted his hands defensively. Then I returned to Stenton whose eyes never left me, and mouthed, “Later.”

Without time to reconsider, Stenton called out, “Later, Jimmy! Keep that
naan hot!” And we were on our way to his bedroom before a handsome Jimmy could reply.

~~~~~~~~~~

My frame trembled and my skin glistened from sweat. I was moaning beyond belief, begging Stenton to touch me again. To bring me to another release. My wrists were tied to my thighs, limiting my mobility, but it couldn’t stop my squirming. It was a new restraint device and just as the others before, I loved it. I enjoyed giving myself to Stenton for his direction in intimacy. It exposed another side to him; an aggressive one, so contrary to his ultimate approach to me.

“If you don’t stop, I’m going to tie your legs up, Niña!” Stenton stood at the foot of the bed, glaring down on me.

“Stent!” I cried out.

My legs were up in the air and
my spine couldn’t remain still from my thrusting. My nipples were peaked and my clitoris throbbed as if he hadn’t just given me two earth-shattering orgasms with his talented mouth. But that wasn’t enough. I needed him buried deep, releasing me from deep within.

“I
t’s coming, baby. I just need to record what this looks like. Feels like it’s been too fucking long.”