Love Delivered (48 page)

“Did they?” he grunts impatiently. “Tell me, Niña!” His tone isn’t threatening. Behind the heavy masculine baritone is a desperate plea.

“No!” I nearly scream, trying to focus on my brewing orgasm. Trying to decide to go with it or allow it to abate because this conversation isn’t conducive to ascension.
I want an orgasm!

“You sure?
S
-sounded like you enjoyed them earlier,” he groans.

I’m sick of this already. “No! They were horrible...selfish and skill-less. They didn’t prep me. They didn’t take care of me. They didn’t make me feel the way only you did…do!”

I hate myself the moment those words leave my lips. Those were cards I prefer to hold, and not to hold over Stenton, but because no one has ever mattered but him. Jacques was an experimental failure, and Bernard was a familiar family friend that I could count on. Neither were lovers. Neither touched my heart. They couldn’t. It wasn’t available. Stenton has held it all this time. I belong to him. Always have. 

Stenton’s hard expression drops. His eyes turn horror-stricken. I yank my face away in shame.

“Niña!” he breathes out with urgency and takes me at the sides of my face.

The softness in his lips and tenderness in his kiss contrast with his demeanor from just moments ago. But it’s too late. I’ve already exposed myself. I’m raw and a tad wounded by his bravado. His wielding virility has seared me.

Stenton effortlessly walks us out to his bed and lays me on my back, never leaving either part of my body. He kisses me breathlessly, attempting to sooth my tears. I’m hurt and angry. I’m now struggling physiologically. I don’t think I want to be in his arms, exposed in every way. I want to be alone to lick my wounds and rebuild my face. I need to think out what he’s just tapped into. When Stenton angles his hips, going in for what he knows will be my undoing, I involuntarily give in to him.

I feel my sex lubricating even more with each thrust he delivers. My back arches off the bed as I quickly decide to relent to what’s brewing within. I flex my hips meeting Stenton’s plunges. His face is still hard, but his determination is new. He’s working to send me off. He wants me to ascend. And as I do, I close my eyes and open my mouth.

“No! Look at me,” he whispers into my face while studying me. “Look at me!” And I do, vision blurred and body trembling. I peer into his marbled eyes. “I love you. I will always take care of you. You know that, right?”

“Yessssss…” I lose focus as I ride out the last of my orgasm.

Stenton isn’t too far behind when he judders over me several times before collapsing on my body. As we wait for our breathing to calm, there’s silence. My body may remain still, be afloat from endorphins, but my mind is churning with what happened in the bathroom.

Stenton relieves me of some of his weight and exhales long and hard. He kisses me adoringly, soft, neat, and gently.

“Listen, Zo, about earlier—”

“No,” I assert harsher than intended. “I’m still learning. Still realizing what I put out there. When I made those comments earlier about singlehood being good for all, I didn’t mean it as a slight to you. I should have also clarified myself to explain it wasn’t. Or I could have simply kept my know-it-all mouth shut.” I take a deep breath. “I don’t want to regress, so I’m going to put it out there for the record. I didn’t like us being apart all those years. Mostly, I thought you didn’t want me because I was too young—”

“I’ve always wanted you!” he cautions with big eyes. “Let’s not go there again. There wasn’t a moment I didn’t want you.”

“Let me finish, Stent.” I rest my fingers on his heart shaped lips. “But…also, too many times I wondered if I’d blown my one chance at this whole “soul mate”, “love of my life” crap because of my bull-headedness. I idly wondered if I had scared you off with my anti-traditionalism views. I thought I missed out on that when we left Cayman Islands because the night we got our tattoos, I gave you the lecture about not wanting marriage until I’d “toured” the world. When you started with Erika I wanted you out of my system so bad. I got tired of stalking the internet in search of your next sighting with her. I was sick with envy…and pain over losing you.” My lids collapse. “God, Stenton, when you didn’t touch me in Italy, I thought I’d lost you forever. I thought that was the end of us, that you held no interest in me at all. I thought the only way to combat the pain that I’d caused was to be with another man. With…Jacques, I bypassed the attraction part of seduction. I just went straight for…sex, thinking it would at least keep me from thinking about you and what I’d lost.” I meet his eyes, feeling the tremble of my lips.

“It was awful, Stenton. There was no adoration, no genuine affection. It was just…a one-sided performance. It was over quickly and so was I. I never saw him after that. My plan didn’t work and he couldn’t give me what I really needed. Then when…” I pause to keep the tears at bay. Stenton takes me by the hand and squeezes it as he lay on top of me. It’s comforting and helps with my disclosure. “When I thought Erika was pregnant, I told myself to suck up my jealousy because maybe you could finally get the family you’ve always longed for. I’m sorry for not believing you when you said she’d lied. I was just so angry.”

Licking my lips, I continue. “And when Jenna came into the picture, I just knew you’d found that “mature” woman you couldn’t find in me. I waited for the call, text or email of your engagement announcement.” Stenton’s eyes strain in disbelief. “So much for the know-it-all, right? It was a bad time, too. After Quincy passed, I thought it was time for me to test the waters again with my sex life, so I kinda coerced Bernard. Let’s just say I learned it could get worse than Jacques. There was no…happy ending for me. It was shameful. I tried to trick myself into believing it could get better and that I could teach him, maybe.”

“Teach him what? How to fuck?”

“Well, yeah. You taught me, so I figured I could teach him.” I shrug. Stenton shakes his head. “I know that theory isn’t as fluid as I’ve come to learn over the last few weeks.” I brush my face with my hands and sigh. “So, I’ve shared all of my pathetic, embarrassing, and inept sexual experiences of my singlehood with you to say that I’ve only had this type of passion and fiery chemistry with you. When you bring up the past, it’s a bit humiliating. Don’t get me wrong, the sun did shine on some days when you were gone. I had Jordan, my family, friends, school and businesses. But I didn’t have my StentRo. I had no one to hone my Niña skills with.”

“Niña is not exactly a sexual reference, Zo,” he growls.

“Not always, but sometimes it is. You call me that when you’re aroused. And don’t act like I don’t get feisty when we’re sexing, too.” My voice turns seductive. “
That
Niña makes your toes curl—” I gasp. “Look at who comes to life at the mention of
that
Niña!” Speaking into his lips, I whisper, “He knows Niña. He wants Niña, too.”

I flick my tongue into his mouth and push my sex into his pelvis, though his stiff appendage is against my belly.

“You’re a damn sex fiend, Zo,” Stenton groans.

“No. I’m a Niña.

~~~~~~~~~~

~
Stenton
~
 

So this is what that shit is like, huhn? This is what my life has become: consumed by every waking thought of Zoey and Jordan. I’m familiar with the preoccupation, they’ve been my world for eight damn years. The difference is the acute memory of her passion. Constantly thinking of her little soft hands and warm and well-secreted mouth on me. When I’m not with her, reminiscing on her concentrated expressions when she’s blowing me or riding me. Playing back the images of her writhing beneath me while tied to the bathroom door or dangling from the damn dining room table...it all drives me crazy.

But it doesn’t stop there. When Zoey and I lay around, talking about my retirement portfolios and investments, I feel accomplished. When she once again says no to heading up my charity organization, but takes on another “interim” role, as she puts it, and makes a valuable call in the name of its mission, I know without a doubt this woman was made for me. And when she abruptly ends our business conversations to slowly strip in the office at her place in the middle of the afternoon while Jordan’s in school, I damn near lose control. Zoey manipulates me. I know it. I also allow it because it makes me feel alive. It draws a contrast to Stenton Rogers, the figure. My interaction with her levels me and makes me feel…human.

This dating thing has been good. This past month since snatching her ass up from Jamaica has been quite the adventure. I have my family back. Chilling out with Jordan isn’t new. He’s been my ride or die since his mother stopped breastfeeding him, however being with him
and
his mother has been the best. The problem is we can’t keep our hands off each other. It’s been an interesting phenomenon over the past few weeks since we’ve been fucking again. We sneak kisses, touches, and lewd glances when Jordan isn’t looking. Just last week, when Jordan had passed out on the floor of the theater room in Alpine during one of our family nights, I had to muffle Zoey’s mouth as she came in my hand when I fingered her on the couch. When she was done, I jumped up to put Jordan to bed and came back into the room to curse her ass out.
That was her fault
. She’d literally enticed me by pulling my arm in her pants until I caved. Then had the nerve to moan while Jordan was just feet away.

I can still remember the sad look in her eyes and pout of her lips when I shouted, “Damn it, my son could have woken up to that shit, Zo! Do you know how scary that shit is to a six year old? If you can’t use discretion then don’t expect for me to play with you when he’s around!”

I questioned my language and tone as I trekked upstairs to the bedroom. It was repressed when Zoey slipped into bed shortly after, using her mouth to apologize without using words. But then the next morning when I awakened to her frantically searching for her clothes, saying she’d overslept and needed to go to the guest bedroom before JR got up, I was livid all over again. That didn’t last long because we’ve been creeping in and out of one another’s places during crazy hours since. Every time I say this is the last time, I find myself thrilled by the surreptitiousness of it all. Sneaking around was fun when in the act. However, overall, it was exhausting.

I hear a tap at the window, snapping me from my thoughts. It’s Rob, telling me the coast is clear. I’ve been sitting in the back of my truck waiting for clearance to go into the back of the second location of Zoey’s bakery. It’s bigger than the first one she opened. When I enter the door, Angela, who has an office here, waves me to the back. With flowers adorning my hands, I follow, only we don’t go into Zoey’s office. We pass right by and walk into Ang’s.

The room is quieter than the hall, but I can still hear voices in an exchange. Angela takes a seat, too casually for me. She motions for me to take one, too. Hesitantly, I follow her instructions, feeling awkward by the fact that she hasn’t spoken any words since I walked in the building. When I go ask why, Ang raises her index finger, then uses it to tap on her ear followed by pointing to the wall behind her.

Suddenly, the voices become clearer now that I can make out Zoey’s.

“Look. I’m sorry about that.”

“Sorry? Sorry, Zo? You messenger me my ring without having the balls to call since that fiasco with Stenton, busting into our hotel suite—”  

“Room.” She corrects and I know the other voice is Bernard’s.

I leap from my chair and Angela follows suit to counter me with her arms stretched toward me defensively.

She mouths, “Please!”

“Room…suite…whatever!” Bernard screams like the bitch he is. “That’s the way you leave things? Do you even care about me? Did you ever love me?”

“Bernard, don’t go there,” Zoey whines. I know that whine. It’s the one before the rage. The one that signals
you’re not going to win this fight
. “Of course, I care about you…and love you, Bernard. We’ve known each other since junior chorus. We’re like family.”

“Family? You get engaged to family?”

“That was a mistake and you know it, Bernard. You know you were no more prepared for what we were going to do than I was. Marriage for us would have been the biggest mistake of our lives.”

“And that’s not what you’re going to do with Stenton Rogers? Is he finally offering you what you deserve?”

That motherfuck—

“Let’s just talk about us, Bernard. I’m sorry I haven’t made the time to properly end things between us. Yes, sending the ring back to you instead of bringing it myself was a wimp’s move, but I didn’t want to keep something as important as your engagement ring. It belongs to you.”

“And now you belong to Stenton Rogers.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means he goes all barbaric, saying he wants you back and you ran right into his arms. That doesn’t sound like the Zoey I know. You don’t just jump when a man asks you to do something—”

“Maybe it took the right man.”

Things go silent. Angela rolls her neck then throws punches into the air.

“I’m sorry. That was mean. I just don’t like being goaded. You should know that.” More silence. “Look, Bernard, I don’t know where things are going with Stenton and me. I just know the man brings out things in me that no one ever has. He excites me in a way that’s indescribable. Jordan can perhaps have a real…nuclear family like I’ve always had.”