Love & Hate (Book Two: Love) (20 page)

“
I love your body. I love every inch of you.” He says and madly rips his clothes off but then stops and I see something pass behind his eyes. I know he is thinking something dark and I am scared to find out what it is.

I am completely caged beneath him but he has stopped his advancement and is hovering above me.

“
Cutter what is it?”

My question brings him back to reality and I see his eyes adjust focusing on me.

“
I need to know Paige, even though I swore I wouldn’t ask you… I need to know… did you sleep with him?”

My jaw falls open. I can’t believe he is asking me this now of all times.
This didn’t matter last night why does it matter now?

“
Look, it doesn’t change the way I feel about you, I just need to know for my own sanity. I keep picturing him touching you and it is driving me crazy. I have been avoiding asking you, just putting it out of my mind because I know I have no right to ask it, but it is killing me. I need to know darling.”

“
No! I most certainly did not sleep with Holden if you must know!”
The nerve of him!

That is all I get out before I feel him push forward into me, stopping all my thoughts of anger and confusion. Now all I can feel is Cutter, every square inch of him.

I watch in amazement as he slowly thrusts into me. All my pissed off thoughts of him asking me about sleeping with Holden completely melt away. I am writhing now in anticipation of what is to come. I want him so bad I feel almost mad. I begin grabbing at his back trying to maneuver him where I want him, but he is purposely avoiding my advances. I grasp onto his huge biceps as he continues to set his painstaking slow rhythm.

When Cutter first entered me it hurt slightly but any discomfort is immediately replaced by pleasure as he begins to increase his pace inside of me. I look up at him and meet his gaze. I always feel connected to Cutter when we make love but this time the way he looks at me makes me shudder. He has such an intense look like he can see into my soul, it is overwhelming.

I insanely claw at his back forcing him to drive into me further. I hear Cutter let out a low growl and curse or two as he gives into my continued demands to increase his speed. I watch as this powerful man balances above me with such care and precision then come apart as I feel him slam deep into my depths. He knows exactly how to make my body respond to his touch. I know this body is not truly mine in this moment but his; I am just existing inside of it.

Just when I think I can’t handle any more intensity Cutter bends his head next to mine and whispers to me “Come for me, darling.” I lose it. I come apart and he follows close behind me.

My body feels completely limp, like I will never be able to move again. That was the most amazing thing I have ever felt. There was such raw intensity between us, it was almost like we were healing what was broken between us.

“
I love you Paige. I know you aren’t ready to say it back to me and that’s okay. I’m going to just keep telling you until it sinks in that beautiful brain of yours.” He says still hovering above me.

“
Thank you for understanding.” I tell him in quiet almost whisper like voice.

“
Alright, I’m thinking its shower time.” He says and hauls me off the bed toward the bathroom.

We shower together and end up making love a second time that evening. It was well into the wee hours of the morning before we snuggle into my bed to finally rest. I know I should be taking things slower but I can’t help it with Cutter. He owns me.

CHAPTER 21

The rest of Thanksgiving break goes about the same way as it started. During the day I would ride The Biz and help Lacey at the barn. I could tell I was making huge improvements in my leg strength, which I couldn’t be happier about. In the evenings Cutter would come over and we would spend most of the night chatting and making love. I became slightly disgruntled when my parents returned home and I could no longer have Cutter in my bed every night. It was lonely not having him sleep next to me.

That is why I was relieved when it was time to go back to school. We had come home late yesterday night. The six hour drive flew by. I even let Cutter drive my new truck part of the way. I think that is a huge step. He stayed over last night at my house. I’m sure Millie is dying to ask me what is happening since she saw a half-naked Cutter walking through our house this morning. Bless her heart, Mills just pretending nothing was weird and offered him some breakfast.
Classic Millie.

I’m brought back to reality when I hear our sorority president say “That includes you too Paige. Since you weren’t here your freshman year.” I look at Millie totally baffled at what I just missed.

“
It’s Mistletoe Madness. The freshmen have less than twenty four hours to find a guy to kiss under the mistletoe in the foyer in front of the senior class. If you don’t do it you have extra dish duty during finals week.” She whispers to me as we sit in our chapter meeting.

“
Oh great.” I whisper back.

I don’t know why I didn’t call Cutter. I guess it’s because part of me didn’t really know where we totally stood yet and the other part of me was still being willfully defiant. I am content having us exist in private for now. I’m scared that if we are an actual couple that bad things will happen again.

So instead of calling Cutter to come over and kiss me in the foyer in front of a bunch of older members, I call Tanner. Millie had said that it can just be a kiss on the cheek so I figured that was the easiest thing to do. I also considered not doing it at all, but I really didn’t want to do extra dish duty next week, I needed the all the time I could get to study since I got hardly any done over break.

When I called Tanner to ask him all I had to say was “Mistletoe Madness” and he knew exactly what I was talking about. I had a sinking suspicion he had done this a few times before. He told me he would be over at eight.

It was a whole ten minutes past eight o’clock and I was panicking now. I stood in the foyer with a gaggle of girls watching with anticipation of who was going to come over and kiss me.

I finally hear the front door to the sorority open behind me. I spin around in relief only to find an angry looking Cutter stalking towards me.
Oh crap, what is he doing here? Surely someone will stop him if he actually tries to kill me, right?

“
So you thought you were going to kiss someone else, huh?” He growls in a low voice. I’m thankful none of the girls on the stairs can hear him though.

When he reaches me he grabs me by the hand and leads me so we are squarely underneath the mistletoe. I don’t have time to even think about the ensuing kiss, Cutter lifts me up in his arms, kissing me hard. I hear a bunch of whooping and hollering coming from the stairs and I know we are making quite the scene. I instantly feel embarrassed.

I don’t know how long we kiss for. It feels like forever in front of everyone. He finally sets me back on my feet and I can see he is still very much pissed off. He leads me out the front door without giving me the chance to say goodbye to anyone.
Shit, he is not going to let this one go, is he?

“
Cutter…” I start but he immediately cuts me off.

“
Don’t!” He snaps at me and continues to drag me down the block towards my house.

He doesn’t let go of me until we are in my bedroom. He slams the door shut, which makes me jump in surprise.
Oh no, you really did it this time Paige. He is totally losing it.

“
Do you want to explain to me why you asked another man to put his lips on you?” He demands.

“
It wasn’t like that. I was just going to peck him on the cheek he is my Big B for craps sake.”

He spins around facing me now. He gets right up next to me and I can feel his anger radiating off of him.

“
I’m the only one who gets to kiss you. I won’t tolerate you kissing someone else, even if it is just your friend.”
Huh, that’s funny since I saw you kissing Laney Davis!

“
Oh really? That’s interesting considering I walked in on you kissing Laney.” I know it’s rude to bring up past shit, but I don’t care right now because he has pissed me off.

“
Really we are back to that?” He growls.

“
Yes, we are back to that. You act like I was going to sleep with Tanner or something. I was merely going to kiss him on the cheek!” I scream.

“
I don’t care if it was on the cheek or on his dick it’s the same thing.” He spits back at me.
Oh that’s it. He is being a full on jackass now.

“
Really?”

“
Yes really. These lips belong to me.” He says and smashes his mouth onto mine angrily.

I try to pull out of his hold. In the back of my head I know I’m playing with fire but I do it anyway. I’m curious to see what he will do next. He continues to push into my personal space and spins me around so I am facing the bed. He drips kisses down my neck and pushes me against the bed bending me over at the waist.

As he kisses my neck he pulls on the hem of my shirt and I allow him to lift it over my head leaving me in my black lace bra. He then immediately begins undoing my jeans and dragging them down my legs. I hear him remove a condom from his pocket and unzip his jeans. I know we were just fighting but I am so turned on now I forget what we were even fighting about.

“
Bend over and rest on the bed Paige.” He says in a husky dark tone. I do as he asks and I feel him slam into me from behind without any warning.
Oh wow!

Cutter pulls back and slams into me again. He does this painstakingly slow which makes me incredibly turned on but also agitated by his complete control. I can feel that deep ache inside of me and I know any minute I’m going to burn up.

“
You are mine Paige, I refuse to share you.” He growls into my ear as he pushes inside of me over and over again. His words are my undoing. I come with my chest against the bed and Cutter pushed deep inside of me from behind. He follows right behind me with a dark moan.

We lay there breathing heavy for a second before he adjusts behind me, slipping back on his jeans. He picks me up by the waist and places me on the bed. Then he hands me my jeans. He doesn’t look at me though and I can tell something is very off.
Is he still upset?

“
Cutter is everything okay?” I ask quietly and begin to put on my jeans.

“
I’m sorry” is all he says.

“
What’s wrong? Talk to me.” I’m panicking now.

“
I lose myself with you. I know I shouldn’t be that rough with you but I can’t control it sometimes. Did I hurt you?” He still refuses to look at me.

“
No. You didn’t hurt me at all.” I watch his face intently, waiting for a reaction but none comes. “Cutter, I liked it.” I say softly.

His head snaps up at my declaration. “I was worried I hurt you.”

“
You didn’t.” I say and jump off the bed and walk up to him wrapping my arms around him. “My body may have been battered and bruised but I promise you I won’t break.”

He bends down and kisses my forehead. “I don’t deserve you darling, but I refuse to give you up.”

“
Good, I don’t want you to.” I say back to him. “I’m sorry I asked Tanner to kiss me tonight.”

“
Thank you.” He says kissing my forehead again. “At least Tanner knew better and came to tell me what was going on.”

I pull back and look up at him. “What do you mean Tanner told you?”

“
After you called him, he came and told me. He is smart. He knows what I would have done to him.” He has a mischievous smile plastered on his face now.

“
You are unbelievable!” I say and poke him in the ribs.

“
I wouldn’t start that, if I were you.” He chuckles.